So the other night Bjork tricked me into buying season 1 of Saved by the Bell on iTunes. Or someone on IRC did. I forget. I was drunk.
Anyway, I am watching it now and. . .is there a fucking dance where Kelly has to pick between Zach and Slater every other fucking episode? How many fucking dances are there at Bayside High in a given fucking week? ANd is it just me or does Slater lisp a lot in early episodes? And I'm telling you, chicks' gym shorts were nowhere near that form-fitting and short when I was in high school. Well, living in the reality that I'm in, that's probably a good thing. But you just know the gym teacher was beating it every time that Showgirls whore pranced around in gym class. Why is Slater as developed as like a 20 year old? Why does Zach appear to be like 12? Why would Kelly ever honestly be interested in Zach when he probably doesn't even have pubes yet? Why is Jesse like 8 feet tall? Why is the black chick the only black chick? And note that the black chick, as the card minority on the show, comes from the richest family. Don't want to be reinforcing them stereotypes about poor black people. Why is the only person really, truly interested in dating her Screech? Is the show implying that the only white folks interested in the mocha are the geeks and socially distinguished mentally-challenged? Why the fuck did everyone wear neon clothes with like 12 different coloured stripes per outfit? What's up with Mr. Belding? Is he some sort of pedophile like Cajole? WTF with Screech buying Lisa's MOTHERFUCKING LINGERIE when she was selling off all her clothes. Why does Slater have a penchant for frequently wearing spandex. How come Jesse is extremely self-conscious about being fucking tall? Why does Zach have a cell phone? What the fuck is up with that white Kid n Play wannabe that runs the diner? Casey Kasem as the special guest star of the first episode? Is it the fucking 60s. WHAT THE FUCK!!!!
