Those of us from rural south know how to handle toilet paper shortage. Eat more corn on the cob! The corn isn't important, but the cobs are free and work great! (Just don't flush them!) You're welcome!
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Has NIN's Happiness in Slavery been posted? I think that wins. It reminds me of Kafka's In the Penal Colony.[youtube=425,350]otqGFiiIoTI[/youtube]NSFW NSFW NSFW!!!