evilbore: a political poll

[Van Cruncheon]

ANSWER PAPANGUSES

[TVC15]

Guess what I voted for.

[Van Cruncheon]

those monies you pay in taxes could have bought you guns and a nice underground bunker, sir!

[MrAngryFace]

Where's my 'I just try to vote for someone that isnt insane or stupid' -- fuck political party affiliations

[TVC15]

I'm closer to some sort of anarchist than I am a republican, though.  You just got the reason right.

[Stocky]

If I want a tank in my front yard, I should be allowed to have one.

[Cheebs]

where is pd's choice for voting republican because he believed we need to fight the terrorists there so we dont fight them here?

[Van Cruncheon]

i should have added the "omg abortions!!!" and "dumb treehugger" options, too, but y'all are officially disenfranchised minorities around here!

[Mr. Gundam]

I voted for "i vote democrat because i think society needs a safety net," but I'm also concerned about the special interests of corporations. I'm just one of them wacky liberals! Plus, I work in public education, so that makes me even more wacky and even more liberal!

[Stocky]

I WANT A BAZOOKA

[Himu]

I vote dem because I'm black.

[TVC15]

I am basically pretty cool with building a society where murder isn't really a crime.

[Phoenix Dark]

Horrible choices. Where's the "I vote republican because if I don't 911 will happen again" option?

[Van Cruncheon]

i added the pd-specific option

[MrAngryFace]

I am basically pretty cool with building a society where murder isn't really a crime.

ECHELON IS LISTENING

[MrAngryFace]

i added the pd-specific option

Where's the mandatory scotch option

[Van Cruncheon]

i'd like a society where i can say "9/11 is gonna happen again, pd, whether we like it or not" and ECHELON won't immediately deploy steely-eyed men in suits to toss me into gitmo for a good old-fashioned waterboarding

[TVC15]

In my society:

1) Murder is not a crime
2) Violent wars between private corporations are encouraged
3) An embrace of a caste system.  There will always be poor people, and we should make it so they can take advantage of their role.  They should also not be educated.
4) Poor people could kill union members for tax breaks
5) Non-poor people would not be forced to pay taxes
6) Strict property ownership rights

[Van Cruncheon]

i added the scotch option on account if it being the only realistic choice these days

[MrAngryFace]

I voted scotch, my ideal society would have more of it. Maybe replace water fountains with scotch fountains

[Van Cruncheon]

TVC, i think you've been playing syndicate wars too much again

[TVC15]

Also, poor people would be executed at age 30 and turned into a food product to feed the poor.  I call this food Soylent Bz.

Also, churches would be taxed, as they should be right now in the US.

[demi]

I didn't vote because all those choices are confusing and I don't know what they mean.

[Cheebs]

I didn't vote because all those choices are confusing and I don't know what they mean.

you write in nick frost on the ballot

[demi]

There isn't a write-in choice listed.

[Van Cruncheon]

my ideal society would of course require that i be the immortal god-hegemon of a fiercely monarchic-cryptofascist goverment, where the very words and thoughts of the people are judged by me and me alone. the state religion would be an imperial cult that worships me, and all those not admitted as priests and functionaries in my governmental cabal would be sent to work in my mines, farms, and factories to crank out endless high-quality shmups and strategy RPGs for me to play. merely thinking of nintendo would be punishable by the most horrible fate: death by roxy-delivered snu-snu.

[MrAngryFace]

My ideal society would involve people not being greedy petty motherfuckers. As such my ideal society is impossible

[TVC15]

I would also impose strict population control measures on the poor.  As we know, there are more poor than there are worthy people, and folks with nothing better to do with their time tend to breed copiously.  We would not want the poor to get the numbers to topple my regime, so I would found an organization dedicated to analyzing demographic and census info.  A certain percentage of all women at age 10 would have their tubes tied, required by law, every year.  The ones chosen to have their tubes tied would be picked by a lottery at regional level.

Any girls or families trying to protect their daughters would be executed.  Males would not have their genitals mutilated because their testosterone-driven aggression and ambition is what keeps society afloat.

[Cheebs]

tvc, your plan seems ideal. What would you do with the congress however? The poor would vote in candidates in rural area's that would try to stop you.

[Phoenix Dark]

I'd love a society where personal responsibility and little government interference rules. Abortion would be severely limited once we gave every women in the country birth control patches - as advertised on Oprah of course. Just as you can choose to watch tv shows with sub titles if you're deaf, you'd be able to choose whether you wanted to watch edited or non edited shows/movies; the parental controls could just limit kids from watching the non-edited stuff with easy to use restriction passwords: their social security numbers.

Billions would be spent in the process of prooving or disprooving the theory of evolution. This would start with the search for the millions (if not billions) of transitional being that must be hidden somewhere in the fossil record. Also I billion dollar expedition would be sent to search for Noah's Ark, and a billion more would fund the destruction of Egyptian monuments in the search for any signs of Jewish slave graves.

[TVC15]

tvc, your plan seems ideal. What would you do with the congress however? The poor would vote in candidates in rural area's that would try to stop you.

I would adopt a system similar to the United States, where the opinions and votes of the wealthy are simply more important than the votes of the lower castes.  

[Cheebs]

tvc, your plan seems ideal. What would you do with the congress however? The poor would vote in candidates in rural area's that would try to stop you.

I would adopt a system similar to the United States, where the opinions and votes of the wealthy are simply more important than the votes of the lower castes. 

I think you need to bring back the literacy test and things similar to the grandfather clause from the south.

[Madrun Badrun]

 

O, PD.   

[Cheebs]

My ideal government:

ANAKIN: We need a system where the politicians sit down and
discuss the problem, agree what's in the best interests of
all the people, and then do it. 

PADMÉ: That is exactly what we do. The trouble is that
people don't always agree. In fact, they hardly ever do.

ANAKIN: Then they should be made to.

PADMÉ: By whom? Who's going to make them?

ANAKIN: I don't know. Someone.

PADMÉ: You?

ANAKIN: Of course not me.

PADMÉ: But someone.

ANAKIN: Someone wise.

[TVC15]

tvc, your plan seems ideal. What would you do with the congress however? The poor would vote in candidates in rural area's that would try to stop you.

I would adopt a system similar to the United States, where the opinions and votes of the wealthy are simply more important than the votes of the lower castes. 

I think you need to bring back the literacy test and things similar to the grandfather clause from the south.

South of the Mason-Dixon line would be burned to the ground and turned into a giant field, where the cattle for the nation's wealthy would graze.  Louisiana, which would be difficult to turn into a field tdue to its swampy terrain, would be turned into a giant paintball park.  Any residents living in Lousiana would be murdered.

[Stocky]

I WANT MORE GUNS

[Cheebs]

tvc, your plan seems ideal. What would you do with the congress however? The poor would vote in candidates in rural area's that would try to stop you.

I would adopt a system similar to the United States, where the opinions and votes of the wealthy are simply more important than the votes of the lower castes. 

I think you need to bring back the literacy test and things similar to the grandfather clause from the south.

South of the Mason-Dixon line would be burned to the ground and turned into a giant field, where the cattle for the nation's wealthy would graze.  Louisiana, which would be difficult to turn into a field tdue to its swampy terrain, would be turned into a giant paintball park.  Any residents living in Lousiana would be murdered.

what is your policy for sex education for teenagers?

And what would you do with the middle east?

[Flannel Boy]

I voted Scotch, because this poll isn't Canadian friendly. Also I'm pretty apolitical these days.

[Mandark]

As a son of Abraham, I deeply object to PD wanting to dig up my ancestors' bones, for what I can only assume are perverted sexual purposes.

[TVC15]

tvc, your plan seems ideal. What would you do with the congress however? The poor would vote in candidates in rural area's that would try to stop you.

I would adopt a system similar to the United States, where the opinions and votes of the wealthy are simply more important than the votes of the lower castes. 

I think you need to bring back the literacy test and things similar to the grandfather clause from the south.

South of the Mason-Dixon line would be burned to the ground and turned into a giant field, where the cattle for the nation's wealthy would graze.  Louisiana, which would be difficult to turn into a field tdue to its swampy terrain, would be turned into a giant paintball park.  Any residents living in Lousiana would be murdered.

what is your policy for sex education for teenagers?

The people get whatever education they can afford.  The sterilization of a large portion of the poor would solve a lot of problems as far as teenage pregnancy and what not goes.

And what would you do with the middle east?

The nation would be largely isolationist.  We'd buy oil, but why should we worry about peace in the middle east?  We shouldn't be worried about that.  I have no idea why the fuck the US gives a shit.

If a corporation wanted to do business internationally, it would be on their heads to abide by the laws of whatever country they wish to participate with.  Corporations would be our diplomats.

[Madrun Badrun]

As a son of Abraham, I deeply object to PD wanting to dig up my ancestors' bones, for what I can only assume are perverted sexual purposes.

 

[Phoenix Dark]

As a son of Abraham, I deeply object to PD wanting to dig up my ancestors' bones, for what I can only assume are perverted sexual purposes.

The only reason I check news sites if for the inevitable "archaeologist stumbles onto evidence of millions of graves under pyramids" bit. It's coming!

[Flannel Boy]

You know PD, the scientist that would "disprove" evolution (not the bull crap creationist nonsense) would be about as famous as Darwin, if not more so. So, the incentive already exists without the need for a billion in research. Unfortunately for you creationistists the theory of evolution is pretty much as strong as a scientific theory can be.

[Cheebs]

You know PD, the scientist that would "disprove" evolution (not the bull crap creationist nonsense) would be about as famous as Darwin, if not more so. So, the incentive already exists without the need for a billion in research. Unfortunately for you creationistists the theory of evolution is pretty much as strong as a scientific theory can be.

PD knows they will find human fossils next to raptors, he is biding his time.

[Phoenix Dark]

You know PD, the scientist that would "disprove" evolution (not the bull crap creationist nonsense) would be about as famous as Darwin, if not more so. So, the incentive already exists without the need for a billion in research. Unfortunately for you creationistists the theory of evolution is pretty much as strong as a scientific theory can be.

There is a scientific organization dedicated solely to destroying all evidence of evolution's flaws. They confiscate all fossils of human bones in dinosaur ones, placed a fake body at Jesus' tomb, and burned down the garden of eden with fire. Anyone who comes close to finding this secret is met with death from AIDS, which they also created.

I'm waiting for Loose Change: Evolution Style to his YouTube this summer

[TVC15]

I don't know why PD so foolishly defends his dumb christian beliefs after James Cameron totaly disproved the religion.

[Flannel Boy]

I'm waiting for Loose Change: Evolution Style to his YouTube this summer

A few Loose Screws: OMG the EARF IS 6000 Years Old!

[Phoenix Dark]

James Cameron is a gate keeper

[Human Snorenado]

I voted Scotch, but I think there should have been an I VOTED FOR NADER, I HATE EVERYONE option.

Since we're listing our ideal societies:

-All bars would be mandated to stay open 24/7/365.
-No more blue laws.
-Tax the dirty rich and filthy corporations into submission
-We'd have to exist on a simpler scale.  People caught driving SUV's without at least 5 passengers can be dragged into the streets and beat to death.  Food should be grown locally instead of across the country or world. 
-Scientology would be punishable by death.  As would being a furry.  As would being Pee Dee.
-You wouldn't have to work if you didn't want to.  Awesome.

[TVC15]

Triumph is basically the sort of person that would be forcibly sterilized (if he were a woman).  Rich people should not be punished for having money.

[tiesto]

You tax the shit out of corporations, they'll pack up and relocate elsewhere (to like Bermuda or something), taking the jobs with them.

[Mandark]

Shouldn't there be equal funding to prove/disprove reincarnation once and for all?

WHERE ARE THE TRANSITIONAL SOULS!?

[Human Snorenado]

Triumph is basically the sort of person that would be forcibly sterilized (if he were a woman).  Rich people should not be punished for having money.

Sure they should.  Mostly, though, families that have been rich for generations without actually doing anything for it should be made to suffer.

[CajoleJuice]

If you ever choose to run for political office Triumph, I might actually register to vote.

[Human Snorenado]

You tax the shit out of corporations, they'll pack up and relocate elsewhere (to like Bermuda or something), taking the jobs with them.

Not if they want to do business in Triumph's America they won't.  They can either stay and do business proper like, leave like little bitches and not do business, or try and be sneaky.  If we catch them being sneaky, we get to seize all their assets and put all the higher ups to death in public.  It's gonna be a groovy future, let me tell you.

[Phoenix Dark]

Shouldn't there be equal funding to prove/disprove reincarnation once and for all?

WHERE ARE THE TRANSITIONAL SOULS!?

That's a good idea actually.

[Flannel Boy]

If you ever choose to run for political office Triumph, I might actually purchase a gun

[Flannel Boy]

Shouldn't there be equal funding to prove/disprove reincarnation once and for all?

WHERE ARE THE TRANSITIONAL SOULS!?

That's a good idea actually.

Fine let's also spend money proving that spaghetti monsters don't exist. You people are worse than actual politicians.

[Phoenix Dark]

Shouldn't there be equal funding to prove/disprove reincarnation once and for all?

WHERE ARE THE TRANSITIONAL SOULS!?

That's a good idea actually.

Fine let's also spend money proving that spaghetti monsters don't exist. You people are worse than actual politicians.

Here's a better idea: why don't we get some spaghetti, put it in a secluded area while adding chemicals, and see if it turns into a spaghetti monster

Canada is done once I become president

[Mupepe]

I think you guys know which one I chose