it should not be a crime to piss on old people

[Van Cruncheon]

i was shopping with the fam and we decided to stop by everyone's favorite processed-meat-in-barbecue-sauce-plus-liquor restaurant, applebee's, largely because it's the only place my daughter can squeal without having hipster twenty-somethings sneer in manufactured outrage at us breeders.

they put us in a booth next to a pair of old couples and the old man closest to us was going ON and ON and ON and ON about shit he had no clue about. first, it was servers (the computer servers, not the waitstaff) -- he said that "there's money in servers" and that he was gonna "invest in a server company if he could find a good one." what the fuck does that mean?

then he said he was "gonna get himself an ipod." when the lady across from him asked why, he said "it has everything: music, movies, and internet. it comes with like 500 songs and 50 movies already on it, so [he] can get caught up on movies." yeah, yeah, dumb old people. i'll let it fly. i'm the one listening in while my wife eats and my daughter tries to drop crayons into my beer, so i probably deserve it.

then the kicker: he got in argument with the other couple about "chicken-fried steak" versus "chicken-fried chicken". he INSISTED -- loudly, everyone could hear him -- that chicken-fried chicken was just another name for chicken-fried steak, but "fried on a flat grill, not deep fried". he got so mad at the other couple when they said the old person equivalent of "what the fuck" that he asked the waitress, and SHE said chicken-fried chicken was, as clearly indicated by the name, chicken that was chicken-fried. he flipped the fuck out and started screaming about how Applebee's sucks (duh), how it wasn't a real restaurant, and how when he was stationed in texas they cooked real chicken-fried chicken which was beef steak. his wife finally said "you were never stationed in texas, quit humiliating me" and he got quiet and sulked. she probably got her eye blacked when they got home.

i really wanted to bounce his old fat head off the table and then piss straight into his dumb fat mouth. he is g in 50 years' time.

also, in before lemurs

[demi]

he is g in 50 years' time.

[youtube=425,350]NhoXMk4faRo[/youtube]

[BlueTsunami]

Bz has a new story to tell!

[Beezy]

his wife finally said "you were never stationed in texas, quit humiliating me" and he got quiet and sulked. she probably got her eye blacked when they got home.

[TVC15]

You know he ends up eating that dog

[Mandark]

When I was a kid, I was under the impression that everyone got smarter as they got old, and even if you were a bag of funny-smelling wrinkles, you'd at least have some wisdom to pass on by the time you hit 60.

It was years before I realized that some old people are just stupid young people who kept on living.


PS Is a chicken-fried steak the same as a country-fried steak, though?

[Flannel Boy]

As you age you accumulate knowledge and you accumulate BS. You forget most of the knowledge, and keep most of the BS.

[BlueTsunami]

I just hope around 60 Dimensia sets in before I realize how old I am

[TVC15]

I thought chicken-fried chicken involved liquefying one chicken and then using the fluid to fry a chicken.

[Van Cruncheon]

i want to be an angry old man rocking on my front porch with a shotgun and a jug of of moonshine. when himuro shows up to try to give me a copy of the watchtower, i'll disintegrate his kneecaps.

[BlueTsunami]

I thought chicken-fried chicken involved liquefying one chicken and then using the fluid to fry a chicken.

That sounds correct. Like how broth is used in soups.

i want to be an angry old man rocking on my front porch with a shotgun and a jug of of moonshine. when himuro shows up to try to give me a copy of the watchtower, i'll disintegrate his kneecaps.

Himumu might want to come up and talk about the love that is Jehova, with the current wacky scenario hes in.

[Madrun Badrun]

 
Drinky in real life do you talk like you write? 

[Van Cruncheon]

ask tvc and maf. by and large, i do, unless i'm in a bad mood or in a small talk situation.

[Human Snorenado]

I think that we should use the elderly to fight our wars.  I mean, they're just laying around and doing nothing, sucking up all the good prescription drugs.

[Mandark]

I've heard that in real life, Drinky talks like am nintenho.

True story.

[Van Cruncheon]

is am nintenho capable of actual speech? i thought he was an eliza script with tourette's.

[Madrun Badrun]

I think that we should use the elderly to fight our wars.  I mean, they're just laying around and doing nothing, sucking up all the good prescription drugs.

aren't you only a few years off from that?  Mr 30-something.   

[Human Snorenado]

I think that we should use the elderly to fight our wars.  I mean, they're just laying around and doing nothing, sucking up all the good prescription drugs.

aren't you only a few years off from that?  Mr 30-something.   

After people are 50, they're relatively useless.  Or maybe 60.  Whenever you can't take care of your own shit anyways.  And I'm 29 anyways.

[The Miles Trahan Burger Experiment]

I can't wait till Drinky's confined to a scooter, I'll be the first in line to piss on him.

[Van Cruncheon]

dude, you'll be airlifted to a fat farm before i get my motorchair.

[The Miles Trahan Burger Experiment]

dude, you'll be airlifted to a fat farm before i get my motorchair.

 

[xnikki118x]

Crazy dumb old people. I bet the Applebee's staff had a good laugh about those idiots after they left.