Author Topic: oh fuck you zipper (Read 1187 times)

Shuri · « **on:** May 07, 2007, 10:53:35 PM »

Earlier this week, I had a painful pant-related accident. I was getting dressed and the fucking door rang, i grabbed my pants, put them on without underwears, zipped up AND HOLY SHIT WHAT THE FUCK HOLY GOD MY PENIS got fucking caught in the fly! Or rather a small fucking half a cm lenght of skin on top. I ran to the door in INTENSE PAIN, grabbed my fucking 3do controllers i ordered from ebay.

Thanks to some careful unzipping, it ripped out and opened up a small 1cm stretch straight on on it. fucking painful and i thought i was going to die. I cleaned, disinfected, and spent the rest of the week taking massive care of my junk, cleaning it up because i didnt want some whacky infection to popup there, since heat+humidity = DANGER especially if you want a lot and so on.

This morning, I do my daily expection and WHAT THE FUCK. It healed, the skin grew back BUT HOLY FUCK the skin that healed back is PINKER in tone. so i got this fucking brighter spot on the top of my dick! ARHGHGH WTF

Damn you body, how could you fuck up like that THERE. chicks are gonna be like WTF and i'm gonna have lots of explaining to do -- it certainly does look odd.

..And all of this for a godamn pair of third party 3DO controllers.

What have we learned today? WATCH OUT WHEN YOU ZIP UP.

Bloodwake · « **Reply #1 on:** May 07, 2007, 11:21:14 PM »

yeah, zippers plus penis equals PAIN FUCKING PAIN OWCH.

etiolate · « **Reply #2 on:** May 07, 2007, 11:25:29 PM »

That use to always happen to me as a little boy when I wore those full body pajamas =/

Madrun Badrun · « **Reply #3 on:** May 07, 2007, 11:33:36 PM »

Yep happened to me. i was going commando and got about half and inch on the underside caught and yes I have a scare,

I was a kid and to embarrassed to tell anyone so unzipping was a bitch. looking back i should have went to the hospital.

Christopher · « **Reply #4 on:** May 07, 2007, 11:37:29 PM »

ouch dude! Though you freeballed so I'm guessing that's the bigger lesson here too.

demi · « **Reply #5 on:** May 07, 2007, 11:38:32 PM »

PM me a pic of ur weiner.

Scurvy Stan · « **Reply #6 on:** May 08, 2007, 02:35:45 AM »

and then you poured hot coffee all over your balls.

xnikki118x · « **Reply #7 on:** May 08, 2007, 02:52:05 AM »

There was an episode of ER a long time ago where a little boy got his junk stuck in his zipper. Not too long after that, it happened to my little brother. I laughed and laughed and laughed about it.

Scurvy Stan · « **Reply #8 on:** May 08, 2007, 02:59:40 AM »

Quote from: xnikki118x on May 08, 2007, 02:52:05 AM

There was an episode of ER a long time ago where a little boy got his junk stuck in his zipper. Not too long after that, it happened to my little brother. I laughed and laughed and laughed about it.

That's just evil. I hope your nipples get caught in a door sometime.

Catz · « **Reply #9 on:** May 08, 2007, 03:03:37 AM »

Quote from: Father_Mike on May 07, 2007, 11:33:36 PM

Yep happened to me. i was going commando and got about half and inch on the underside caught and yes I have a scare,

I was a kid and to embarrassed to tell anyone so unzipping was a bitch. looking back i should have went to the hospital.

I bet you wear undies now.

TVC15 · « **Reply #10 on:** May 08, 2007, 03:04:43 AM »

Nothing makes my dick harder than the thought of other dudes' junk getting torn asunder by jagged, interlocking metal teeth <3

Scurvy Stan · « **Reply #11 on:** May 08, 2007, 03:52:49 AM »

Quote from: TVC 15 on May 08, 2007, 03:04:43 AM

Nothing makes my dick harder than the thought of other dudes' junk getting torn asunder by jagged, interlocking metal teeth <3

Everyones got their fetish nowadays.

Madrun Badrun · « **Reply #12 on:** May 08, 2007, 12:22:26 PM »

Quote from: Catz on May 08, 2007, 03:03:37 AM

Quote from: Father_Mike on May 07, 2007, 11:33:36 PM
Yep happened to me. i was going commando and got about half and inch on the underside caught and yes I have a scare,

I was a kid and to embarrassed to tell anyone so unzipping was a bitch. looking back i should have went to the hospital.

I bet you wear undies now.

Indeed I do.

Yeti · « **Reply #13 on:** May 08, 2007, 12:50:14 PM »

underwear serves an important function

Error Macro · « **Reply #14 on:** May 08, 2007, 12:52:48 PM »

The weather is getting hot. I would hope that people are wearing their underwears.

Tauntaun · « **Reply #15 on:** May 08, 2007, 12:58:39 PM »

Quote from: Error Macro on May 08, 2007, 12:52:48 PM

The weather is getting hot. I would hope that people are wearing their underwears.

and putting that baby powder on the balls, they get sweaty/stinky

Error Macro · « **Reply #16 on:** May 08, 2007, 01:03:45 PM »

Quote from: Tauntaun on May 08, 2007, 12:58:39 PM

and putting that baby powder on the balls, they get sweaty/stinky

:sonic

Himu · « **Reply #17 on:** May 08, 2007, 03:46:39 PM »

You have to be stupid to get your dick caught in your zipper imo. I always hear this happening to white dudes, but it's not once happened to any negro I know. Plus, you freaks who complain about soap getting caught in your dick are just as bad.

Fucking freaky white boy's.

Tauntaun · « **Reply #18 on:** May 08, 2007, 04:21:17 PM »

Quote from: Himuro on May 08, 2007, 03:46:39 PM

You have to be stupid to get your dick caught in your zipper imo. I always hear this happening to white dudes, but it's not once happened to any negro I know. Plus, you freaks who complain about soap getting caught in your dick are just as bad.

Fucking freaky white boy's.

only the kinkiest negro

Ichirou · « **Reply #19 on:** May 09, 2007, 02:10:44 AM »

No animated gifs of that scene from There's Something About Mary? I'm disappointed.

News:

Author Topic: oh fuck you zipper (Read 1187 times)