I've decided I need a woman.

[BlackMage]

Where are the best places to get a woman? I currently work and go to school. I hear going out with co-workers is a bad idea, and I have been rejected before at school. Should I go to bars and shit, or scavenge chat rooms? 

[demi]

Go gay. It's soooo easier to hit on dudes and get hit on back.

[Madrun Badrun]

unemployment offices. 

[Flannel Boy]

unemployment offices. 

It is a job resource center.  :'(

[BlackMage]

Go gay. It's soooo easier to hit on dudes and get hit on back.

I get hit on by gay guys a lot, but I'm not comfortable with the idea of taking it in the butt, or sucking dick.

[Beezy]

Go gay. It's soooo easier to hit on dudes and get hit on back.

I get hit on by gay guys a lot, but I'm not comfortable with the idea of taking it in the butt, or sucking dick.

...then why did you join EB?

[BlackMage]

Go gay. It's soooo easier to hit on dudes and get hit on back.

I get hit on by gay guys a lot, but I'm not comfortable with the idea of taking it in the butt, or sucking dick.

...then why did you join EB?

because I like to talk about it.

[CajoleJuice]

I've only gotten hit on by one gay guy. 

[Madrun Badrun]

I've only gotten hit on by one gay guy. 

[Phoenix Dark]

You're a good looking man. If I was a woman I'd be slobbering on your knob right now.

You live in California
There are many women there
You should be able to find one
Use your looks to your advantage

[CajoleJuice]

And it wasn't even in real-life!

[Saint Cornelius]

I hear going out with co-workers is a bad idea

You're fucking a right about that one. Anywhere else is pretty much fair game.

[BlackMage]

You're a good looking man. If I was a woman I'd be slobbering on your knob right now.

You live in California
There are many women there
You should be able to find one
Use your looks to your advantage

women don't care about looks. At least that's what I've heard.

[Flannel Boy]

women don't care about looks. At least that's what I've heard.

Oh, they care. Not as much as men, but they still care.

[CajoleJuice]

You're a good looking man. If I was a woman I'd be slobbering on your knob right now.

You live in California
There are many women there
You should be able to find one
Use your looks to your advantage

women don't care about looks. At least that's what I've heard.

Then you've fallen victim to their propaganda.

[Madrun Badrun]

women don't care about looks. At least that's what I've heard.

Oh, they care. Not as much as men, but they still care.

a lot. 

[G The Resurrected]

Bm where in cali do you live. I can be your wingman. Go in the bar you show me what girls you looking at then I go over and hit on them and then you can come save them from my disgusting ass. You compared to me would be like a toad and a prince thing ya know.

[Flannel Boy]

Bm where in cali do you live. I can be your wingman. Go in the bar you show me what girls you looking at then I go over and hit on them and then you can come save them from my disgusting ass. You compared to me would be like a toad and a prince thing ya know.

I don't know, they might swear off mankind after that.

[Cyanista]

  No, they care about money.  AMIRITE?

[Flannel Boy]

No, they care about money.  AMIRITE?

* Malek: King of Kings whistles

[BlackMage]

No, they care about money.  AMIRITE?

I hear they like confidence and a sense of humor. I have neither of these skills  :'(

[Flannel Boy]

No, they care about money.  AMIRITE?

I hear they like confidence and a sense of humor. I have neither of these skills  :'(

They also like men with full eyebrows... but what can you do?

[BlackMage]

No, they care about money.  AMIRITE?

I hear they like confidence and a sense of humor. I have neither of these skills  :'(

They also like men with full eyebrows... but when can you do?

son of a bitch

[Van Cruncheon]

i have money, confidence, a (bad) wit AND a ring -- women don't hit on me! (not that i'm asking them to; just pointing out that male stereotypes of "what women want" usually reflect male insecurities more than women's desires.)

also, i'm a loudmouthed self-important asshole with an emerging beer gut and a total lack of romantic sentiment.

[demi]

also, i'm a loudmouthed self-important asshole with an emerging beer gut and a total lack of romantic sentiment.

You're a bloomer I see. I'll be getting back to you in the future.

[BlackMage]

also, i'm a loudmouthed self-important asshole with an emerging beer gut and a total lack of romantic sentiment.

someday, I want to achieve this

[Cyanista]

also, i'm a loudmouthed self-important asshole with an emerging beer gut and a total lack of romantic sentiment.

I have all this minus the beergut. 

[BlackMage]

also, i'm a loudmouthed self-important asshole with an emerging beer gut and a total lack of romantic sentiment.

I have all this minus the beergut. 

you aren't romantic?  :'(

[Mupepe]

there's nothing romantic about cum on the tummy.

i wish women would hit on me.  but they don't.  so i hit on them. 

[Oblivion]

Go gay. It's soooo easier to hit on dudes and get hit on back.

Joke or not, this shit is so true, it's kinda scary. I've been hit on by probably 8 guys within the past four years. Why don't girls do this shit?!  

[Flannel Boy]

Why don't girls do this shit?! 

They don't have to since men hit on them all the time... at least the ones you want to hit on you.

[etiolate]

Try school or hangouts.  I hate bar hags, so I avoid bars generally.  Not that I am any expert at all. I'm just saying what I'd do.

And girls don't hit on you because they expect men to do all that work.  LAZY HOS

[Mupepe]

just go visit a high school and pick up some chicks.

[Van Cruncheon]

correction: i HAVE been hit on by forty-something single moms with weight issues. :'(

[bluemax]

Women tell me coffee shops are a good hip place to meet women.

I don't drink coffee though so I never tested this out.

[Bloodwake]

Bad news sir....

As it ALWAYS is in my case, the women don't notice you until you actually start dating one.

At least that's how its always been for me.

[Saint Cornelius]

I am so at the opposite edge of this issue right now.

[Mupepe]

Bad news sir....

As it ALWAYS is in my case, the women don't notice you until you actually start dating one.

At least that's how its always been for me.

bitches want, what bitches can't have.

[BlackMage]

I am so at the opposite edge of this issue right now.

how come you don't want a woman?!

[Saint Cornelius]

how come you don't want a woman?!

there is a lot of effort that must be put forth to keep someone happy. and that's not even talking about anyone else.

[Boogie]

Bad news sir....

As it ALWAYS is in my case, the women don't notice you until you actually start dating one.

At least that's how its always been for me.

I've said this before, but I've been in a relationship for five months now, and other women STILL don't notice me.  I reject this myth.

[BlackMage]

how come you don't want a woman?!

there is a lot of effort that must be put forth to keep someone happy. and that's not even talking about anyone else.

I feel the same way, but on the other hand, I am so lonely..  :'(

[Saint Cornelius]

I feel the same way, but on the other hand, I am so lonely..  :'(

why? what do you want? someone to cuddle with?

i'm not being factitious; what is it that you're looking for that you don't have?

[Saint Cornelius]

but I've been in a relationship for five months now

jesus fucking christ boogie, DID YOU HIT?

[Boogie]

but I've been in a relationship for five months now

jesus fucking christ boogie, DID YOU HIT?

[BlackMage]

I feel the same way, but on the other hand, I am so lonely..  :'(

why? what do you want? someone to cuddle with?

i'm not being factitious; what is it that you're looking for that you don't have?

someone to share my life with!

[Saint Cornelius]

someone to share my life with!

do you have friends?

this is a gender neutral question.

[BlackMage]

someone to share my life with!

do you have friends?

this is a gender neutral question.

yes but I can't share everything with them!

[Saint Cornelius]

so you want someone to fuck.

[BlackMage]

so you want someone to fuck.

and hug and kiss and spoon!

[Saint Cornelius]

you ass.

[Saint Cornelius]

and hug and kiss and spoon!

okay.

what's stopping you from meeting that person?

[BlackMage]

and hug and kiss and spoon!

okay.

what's stopping you from meeting that person?

probably my insecurities 

[Mupepe]

love is overrated.  seriously.

[Boogie]

you ass.

aw, don't be like that  

[Mupepe]

"Biochemically no different than eating large quantities of chocolate."

[Saint Cornelius]

probably my insecurities 

dude, you told sporks off. you're unstoppable.

aw, don't be like that 

i just want to know if you've encountered the bliss that is wet vagina and if so, what you thought of it.