Book of Falwell (unfinished addition to the Bible that will be added posthumously) SUMMARY
Chapter One: Black people and White people should be separate, but equal.
Chapter Two: If the equal part doesn't happen, that's okay, they are separate, that's good enough
Chapter Three: Gay people are evil to the core. Jesus hates them, and they plan on converting children to homosexuality through friendly purple television monsters
Chapter Four: Oh yeah, if gay people ever get married, abortions occur, or females wanted to be treated as more than a man's bitch, this will cause a major terrorist attack, and Jesus hates these people too.
Chapter Five: Jews are no longer God's Chosen People (as it was decreed by God himself in the Bible). Jews are now demons, and are going straight to hell. The Anti-Christ will be a Jew. Fear them.
Chapter Six: People should grant scholarships to colleges directed by Falwell in the name of God. If the recipient of these scholarships decide to think for themselves, or disagree with Falwell about something in the Bible (remember, including this book) they should be kicked out of college.
Chapter Seven: All money collected in the name of God and His Church will be given to the Republican Party
Chapter Eight: Gluttony is no longer a sin.
Chapter Nine: Homosexuality will bring about great diseases. If you don't like it, tough, it's your fault.
Chapter Ten: Global warming is a lie. Believe in this lie, and you will be mislead. Oh yeah, the part in Genesis where it says that humans should be stewards and should take care of the earth, ignore that. That's not important.
Chapter Eleven: Falwell is actually part of the Holy Trinity... more like the Fantastic Four, except more holier.
