Ain't It Cool News Jerks Off to Pirates 3

[Bloodwake]

It's all over the front page. After hearing the excellent score (much better than the first two films IMO and has a new memorable theme as well) and seeing the excellent trailer, I'm ready to view the film. Sadly I won't get to until Monday, but at least I will get to chuckle at AICN and how they are basically masturbating to it.

For the record, I'm expecting a fun movie, but nothing to kick my ass. The first two films were fun movies, and I only watched the first film after people blew it out of proportion for me. The second film had a great ending, with the return of Barbossa and the more than epic death of Jack.

http://www.aintitcool.com for you lazy fucks.

[Ichirou]

I liked the second film a lot more than the first, but then, I was never caught up in all the hype for the first film and only saw it later on DVD divorced from all the Depp-mania.  I found a pretty decent adventure flick with an awesome character performance by Depp.  The second film has that PLUS some really funny action sequences and some amazing CG work on the Davey Jones character.

[Solo]

I dunno. Everything Ive read about 3 makes it sound bad. We'll see though. What vexes me though is that its 1/2 hour LONGER than the already 1/2 hour TOO LONG Dead Man's Chest.

[Bloodwake]

I dunno. Everything Ive read about 3 makes it sound bad. We'll see though. What vexes me though is that its 1/2 hour LONGER than the already 1/2 hour TOO LONG Dead Man's Chest.

Everyone on AICN from what I read says THE LENGTH DOESNT MATTER OMG FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP

[Ichirou]

I didn't notice the time pass while I was watching Pirates 2.  It was just that awesome.

[Tauntaun]

My wife is flippin out to see this movie, I'm sorta meh on it as I thought PoTC 2 had some really meh parts and I seem to remember lookin at my watch a couple times.  That being said I do think this one has the potential to be better than 2 and I hope it is.

[MrAngryFace]

The best reason to see Pirates 3 is that it isn't Spider-Man 3.

[Tauntaun]

The best reason to see Pirates 3 is that it isn't Spider-Man 3.

there were several times that I wanted to end myself while watching that piece of trash

[MrAngryFace]

BUH BUH BUH ;p

[Solo]

I didn't notice the time pass while I was watching Pirates 2.  It was just that awesome.

I didnt either. The first time, in theatres with a hyped audience. Revisiting it on DVD, it felt looooooong.

[Cheebs]

Bloodwake. This thing is getting worse reviews than DMC did.

wtf are you talking about? The critics like it less than DMC from what I see.

[MrAngryFace]

All pirates movies are 30 minutes too long.

[Bloodwake]

Bloodwake. This thing is getting worse reviews than DMC did.

wtf are you talking about? The critics like it less than DMC from what I see.

AICN likes it.

At least Harry and Massawyrm did. Quint did too.

[Solo]

Its getting trashed pretty good. Wont matter, like S-M3, people will still go and see it like mad.

[Cheebs]

Bloodwake. This thing is getting worse reviews than DMC did.

wtf are you talking about? The critics like it less than DMC from what I see.

AICN likes it.

At least Harry and Massawyrm did. Quint did too.

AICN likes anything hyped. But the movie is getting trashed far worse than DMC did, or even Spider-Man 3 by critics. I have a feeling Shrek 3 will make more than it. lol 

[Himu]

Am I the only person who doesn't really give a shit about this movie?

I mean, the first Pirates is a good movie but not OMFG OMFG like all the honkies in North America made it out to be. I want a better Pirate movie than that. Make a Monkey Island movie goddamit.

[Tauntaun]

Am I the only person who doesn't really give a shit about this movie?

I mean, the first Pirates is a good movie but not OMFG OMFG like all the honkies in North America made it out to be. I want a better Pirate movie than that. Make a Monkey Island: The History of Africa movie goddamit.

  himumu's a self deprecating black man!

[Bloodwake]

Like I said, I'm sure it will be entertaining, but flawed, just like the first two.

[Phoenix Dark]

I have doubts about the movie but I'm still going. WHOOHOOO

[bud]

did you like potc2?

if you did then you'll like potc3 too. if you didn't then you're going to hate it.

[Cheebs]

I have doubts about the movie but I'm still going. WHOOHOOO

respond to my thread about the meetup

http://www.evilbore.com/forum/index.php?topic=8988.0

[The Fake Shemp]

Didn't DuPont, one of the AICN regulars trash this movie?

[Cheebs]

Didn't DuPont, one of the AICN regulars trash this movie?

I read at least 2 reviews on AICN trashing the movie

[The Fake Shemp]

Yeah, Bloodwake is nuts.  And if you trust Harry's reviews - you're in trouble.  He also raved early on for every Star Wars prequel to boot.  Moriarty, who sat in on the editing of At World's End (hardly an objective third-party), compares it to The Matrix trilogy!  I hated two-thirds of that trilogy!

I like Dead Man's Chest the same amount I liked Spider-Man 3, so I will probably go see At World's End, but this looks like it could be the worst.

[Cheebs]

There is only one internet critic I trust: http://www.reelviews.net/movies.html, he is one of the few (only?) internet only critics included in RT's cream of the crop for films. Roger Ebert has called him the best internet film critic there is.

And guess what? He calls AWE the worst of the 3.

During the course of nearly two hours of exposition and setup, there's little in the way of charm or action. There are memorable moments, to be sure, but the overwhelming sense is that the film is desperately spinning its wheels trying to shock and awe with unexpected plot developments.

The defining quality of Curse of the Black Pearl and Dead Man's Chest was a sense of breezy fun. This movie lacks the same feel.

At World's End doesn't blend the humor and the derring-do as well as its predecessors. For the most part, the jokes are lazier and Cap'n Jack has lost some of his zing.

At World's End doesn't blend the humor and the derring-do as well as its predecessors. For the most part, the jokes are lazier and Cap'n Jack has lost some of his zing.

[The Fake Shemp]

I think the series has been in decline from the get-go, since its gone from the universally liked, solid blockbuster that was Curse of the Black Pearl to the very mixed and okay outing of Dead Man's Chest.

[cloudwalking]

i'm going to the midnight showing tonight with my neighbour. woo! i hope it's good.

[Mr. Gundam]

I'm seeing it on either Saturday or Sunday.

I rewatched Dead Man's Chest last night on Blu Ray to make sure I know what's going on, we originally saw it at the Drive-In and I missed a lot of it due to the noisy teenagers that were parked next to us.

[Cheebs]

i'm going to the midnight showing tonight with my neighbour. woo! i hope it's good.

why midnight? it opens at 8 PM

[whiteACID]

POTC is purely mind candy. It's not supposed to be anything else, hence the summer release. People expect too much out of summer movies and that's why they get bad ratings from people who like "Lost in Translation", just chill out and enjoy a fun movie.

[Cheebs]

POTC is purely mind candy. It's not supposed to be anything else, hence the summer release. People expect too much out of summer movies and that's why they get bad ratings from people who like "Lost in Translation", just chill out and enjoy a fun movie.

There apparently isnt much action till the last 45 min. The first half is very story heavy.

[whiteACID]

Johnny Depp's character is action all in itself.

[Phoenix Dark]

You're action in of yourself

spoiler (click to show/hide)

Will you marry me? Just for the day

[close]

[Mr. Gundam]

Johnny Depp's character is action all in itself.

Apparently, he's not even in

spoiler (click to show/hide)

the first hour of the movie.

[close]

[Cheebs]

Johnny Depp's character is action all in itself.

Johnny Depp does not appear on screen tll around an hour into the film

[Phoenix Dark]

 

[whiteACID]

bummer total

[Himu]

POTC is purely mind candy. It's not supposed to be anything else, hence the summer release. People expect too much out of summer movies and that's why they get bad ratings from people who like "Lost in Translation", just chill out and enjoy a fun movie.

Huh? I just want a better pirate movie than Pirates.

[The Fake Shemp]

So this is going to be another bloated mess of a movie that (again) forgets why people enjoyed the first one?

ALL SIGNS POINT TO YES

[Cheebs]

So this is going to be another bloated mess of a movie that (again) forgets why people enjoyed the first one?

With over 30 extra minutes of running time than the second!

[G The Resurrected]

When i attempt to go to work tomorrow i'll sneak in and watch it, i hope its good the second one sucked but it was like ESB suckage, so that means it was good.

[Cheebs]

i hope its good the second one sucked but it was like ESB suckage, so that means it was good.

What..?

[G The Resurrected]

i hate cliffhangers cheebles, PotC:DMC was exactly like ESB. its got a big reveal, then a huge cliffhanger. Spread with some good action and adventure. it sucks waiting for the third installment.

[Mupepe]

the first half of the second movie is terrible.  the second half is brilliant.  i expect the same from this one. 

but god, i love the second half of the dead man's chest.  makes me fucking horny.  then when barbosa (sp?) comes out at the end I was like 'YEAH MOTHERFUCKER'

[Cheebs]

Back from pirates. It is not at all better than the second. The first was a brilliant action adventure film, one of the best of the decade. The third is the same as the second. Overly long, overly complicated and weak stories mixed in with moments of brilliance of Depp and some fine action. Sadly a franchise that had the potential to rival other action adventure fantasy romps like Indiana Jones fell to the slightly above average level:


1. Pirates 1: 9/10

3rd (Tie). Pirates 2 & Pirates 3: 7/10

[Phoenix Dark]

Back from pirates. It is not at all better than the second. The first was a brilliant action adventure film, one of the best of the decade. The third is the same as the second. Overly long, overly complicated and weak stories mixed in with moments of brilliance of Depp and some fine action. Sadly a franchise that had the potential to rival other action adventure fantasy romps like Indiana Jones fell to the slightly above average level:


1. Pirates 1: 9/10

3rd (Tie). Pirates 2 & Pirates 3: 7/10

Well if it's like POTC2, that means it's better than POTC1. Can't wait

btw Akia bailed out on me. See the thread on Mupepe's site

[FatalT]

The third movie blew anyways.

[Bloodwake]

I'm sorry, I don't religiously read AICN, and there's a reason for that.

Anyways, what I'm hearing so far falls in line with what I have been expecting.

[Solo]

Cheebs, that reviewer is James Berardinelli, and he is only the internet reviewer I trust. Didnt know Ebert was also a supporter too though. Cool.

[Cheebs]

Cheebs, that reviewer is James Berardinelli, and he is only the internet reviewer I trust. Didnt know Ebert was also a supporter too though. Cool.

Yeah. Ebert has said this on his site:

"Few pro critics work harder than James Berardinelli, who posts some 250 literate, intelligent reviews a year, even though he has a day job. In September I met Berardinelli at the Toronto Film Festival and found that he drives an hour each way to Philadelphia four nights a week to see the movies. When he finds time to write, I dunno -- but he's good. A newspaper looking for a film critic couldn't do much better than hiring him."

[Solo]

Yeah, he is fantastic. Ive been reading him for about 5 years now, and Ive always liked him. He only seems to throw out perfect scores 4-5 times a year, and I usually agree with him.

[The Fake Shemp]

Well if it's like POTC2, that means it's better than POTC1.

No.

[Cheebs]

Solo will like one thing of the movie I know. They have a homage to The Good The Bad And The Ugly. 6 Characters standing in a desert like setting staring eachother down with the camera focued on their eyes up close using Morricone style music.

It's cute.

[Solo]

Actually, loving TBTBATU/Leone/Morricone so much, that would most likely annoy me more than anything. But we'll see.

Not seeing it until its been open a week, so dont expect me to weigh in on it until like the last day of May or the first day of June.

[Cheebs]

Actually, loving TBTBATU/Leone/Morricone so much, that would most likely annoy me more than anything. But we'll see.

its kinda jokey and it's music is more of a jokey verision of the Morricone music, maybe you won't like it after all lol. I found it cute.

[Solo]

Im just assuming it will annoy me, since the homages in Kill Bill to films I know and love annoyed me more than it excited me. But we shall see. If its obviously a joke, and not just a rip off, then I'll probably like it.