I never meant to give you mushrooms girl
I never meant to bring you to my world
Now you sitting in the corner crying
And now it's my fault my fault
I went to John's rave with Ron and Dave
And met a new wave blonde babe with half of her head shaved
A nurse aid who came to get laid and tied up
with first aid tape and raped on the first date
Susan -- an ex-manic depressive who just moved from Houston
who love booze and alternative music (Whattup?)
Told me she was starvin, I said it wasn't a problem (Nah!)
I got a coupon for this pizza with everything on it
We can double the mushrooms and minus the sausage
[G] I'm allergic to fungus
Come on Sue, that's nonsense
Who's at the door?? Pizza man!
Who ordered pizza? Wasn't it yours? Nuh uh
[G] If you got it with double mushrooms on it then I don't want it
Shutup Susan I'll pick em off it
Oh hell, I might as well try it, I'll be alright
Susan you just swallowed the wrong slice!!
Chorus: 1st repeat Em says "I'm sorry!" at the end
2nd repeat same as original Chorus
"Yo Sue!"
[G] Get away from me, I don't know you
Oh shoot, she's tripping..
[G] I need to go puke!! (Bleahh!)
I wasn't tryin to turn this into somethin major
I just wanted to make you appreciate flavor
Susan, stop cryin, I don't hate ya
I'm sorry your father used to chase you and spank you with hangers
So what they locked you in the attic in your dad's house?
That ain't no reason to start wiggin and spaz out
She said,
[G] Help me I think I'm havin a seisure!
I said, "You're breaking out in hives, let go of the pizza!"
"Would you put it down you're startin to scare me"
She said,
[G] I'm twenty-six years old and I'm not married
I don't even have any kids and I can't cook
(Hello!) I'm over here Sue, (hi) you're talkin to the plant, look!
We need to get to a hospital 'fore it's too late
Cause I never seen no-one eat as many shrooms as you ate
Chorus: 1st repeat Em says "Whoops!" after first line
and "It was an accident!" at the end
2nd repeat same as original Chorus
Susan (wait!) Where you goin? You better be careful
[G] Leave me alone dad, I'm sick of gettin my hair pulled
I'm not your dad, quit tryin to swallow your tongue
Want some gum? Put down the scissors, 'fore you do somethin dumb
I'll be right back just chill baby please?
I gotta go find Dave he majored in allergies
"John, where's Dave at before I bash you?"
[J] He's in the bathroom; I think he's takin a crap dude!
"Dave! Pull up your pants, we need an ambulance
There's a girl upstairs talkin to plants
choppin her hair off, and there's only two days left
of Spring Break, how long do these things take to wear off?"
[D] Well it depends on how many pieces she ate
Just one, with double mushrooms by mistake
Now she's upstairs cryin out her eyeballs, breaking out in hives"
[D] She's gonna die dude
"I know and it's my fault!"
[D] My god!!!
Chorus: 1st repeat Em says "I'm sorry!" after second line
and "What do I do?" at the end
2nd repeat same as original Chorus
My God, I'm so sorry!
I'm so sorry! Susan please wake up!
Please! Please wake up!! What are you doing?!
You're not dead!! You're NOT dead!
I know you're not dead!
