Author Topic: Willco Reviews Movies from the Future... (Read 1822 times)

The Fake Shemp · « **on:** September 11, 2006, 06:55:58 PM »

... I have attained a time machine through unforseen events, and as so, have used it to see every movie released in the future. Feel free to ask me about them, but here are a few:

The Fountain. Very boring. I fell asleep during it. Pass on this lamefest!

Inland Empire. So long that it makes King Kong seem like a swift, tightly edited adventure.

The Prestige. Is so awesome that they actually cancel the Oscars and Warner Bros. gives Nolan the rights to direct Batman films forever!

Children of Men. It was okay.

Casino Royale. Bond cries too much in this, but he also kicks a lot of ass. I'd recommend this to anyone who has dreamed of joining a secret government service that assasinates evil villains.

Bacon · « **Reply #1 on:** September 11, 2006, 06:57:29 PM »

Fountain looks cool.

THERE'S A CURE AND I WILL FIND IT

The Miles Trahan Burger Experiment · « **Reply #2 on:** September 11, 2006, 06:58:04 PM »

Bu-bu-but The Fountain looked so promising...

The Fake Shemp · « **Reply #3 on:** September 11, 2006, 06:58:50 PM »

Oh, I also saw Superman Dies, the next Superman sequel, and it was very homoerotic.

The Miles Trahan Burger Experiment · « **Reply #4 on:** September 11, 2006, 07:00:59 PM »

The next Superman sequel? So you went 20 years into the future?!

brawndolicious · « **Reply #5 on:** September 11, 2006, 07:02:17 PM »

How did the homoerotica work out in Bond?

The Fake Shemp · « **Reply #6 on:** September 11, 2006, 07:08:38 PM »

It works well in Bond, not so much in Superman. It made me uncomfortable when Singer created this almost incestual relationship between Jason and Lois, and Jason dies as a result.

brawndolicious · « **Reply #7 on:** September 11, 2006, 07:10:42 PM »

Quote from: Willco on September 11, 2006, 07:08:38 PM

It works well in Bond, not so much in Superman. It made me uncomfortable when Singer created this almost incestual relationship between Jason and Lois, and Jason dies as a result.

what did the fanboys do?

The Fake Shemp · « **Reply #8 on:** September 11, 2006, 07:14:22 PM »

Here are the following sequels I thought were unnecessary:

Million Dollar Babies
Goonies III
Ghostbusters: The Next Generation
The Good, The Bad and The Ugly II
Mallrats 2
The Se7enth Sense
Rambo V
The Wicker Man: The Beginning
Snakes on a Plane: The Beginning
The Grudge: The Beginning
The Exorcist: The Beginning
Schindler's List: The Beginning

The Fake Shemp · « **Reply #9 on:** September 11, 2006, 07:14:47 PM »

Quote from: am nintenho on September 11, 2006, 07:10:42 PM

Quote from: Willco on September 11, 2006, 07:08:38 PM
It works well in Bond, not so much in Superman. It made me uncomfortable when Singer created this almost incestual relationship between Jason and Lois, and Jason dies as a result.
what did the fanboys do?

Got turned on.

Vizzys · « **Reply #10 on:** September 11, 2006, 07:17:04 PM »

So how does oceans thirteen do? The punisher 2?

TELL ME TIME TRAVELOR, JOHN TITORR.

brawndolicious · « **Reply #11 on:** September 11, 2006, 07:23:28 PM »

Quote from: Willco on September 11, 2006, 07:14:47 PM

Quote from: am nintenho on September 11, 2006, 07:10:42 PM
Quote from: Willco on September 11, 2006, 07:08:38 PM
It works well in Bond, not so much in Superman. It made me uncomfortable when Singer created this almost incestual relationship between Jason and Lois, and Jason dies as a result.
what did the fanboys do?

Got turned on.

oooh.

The Fake Shemp · « **Reply #12 on:** September 11, 2006, 07:25:00 PM »

The Punisher II is a modest success for a straight to home video title, better than Man Thing.

Ocean's 13 once agan pulls the soccer moms and deluded teenagers out of the woodwork to yet another Hollywood wankfest (omg they love working with each other - isn't that so neat!) and scores a big profit. Ocean's 14 is announced, but never filmed after George Clooney spontaneously combusts.

BlueTsunami · « **Reply #13 on:** September 11, 2006, 07:37:06 PM »

at the Fountain. The movie looked awesome. I'll watch it anyways even with your reviews in mind Willco!

Bacon · « **Reply #14 on:** September 11, 2006, 07:43:36 PM »

I also had a dream. Sam Raimi commits suicide after Spidey 3 bombs. LOL

Cheebs · « **Reply #15 on:** September 11, 2006, 08:05:44 PM »

Tell us about Joss Whedon's Wonder Woman!

Bacon · « **Reply #16 on:** September 11, 2006, 08:11:25 PM »

Fuck Joss and his woman empowerment bullshit.

G The Resurrected · « **Reply #17 on:** September 12, 2006, 05:24:18 AM »

I cant wait to see the Fountain it looks like a good flick to take your girl out too. Deep rooted in the love stuff really shows and it looks cool.

TVC15 · « **Reply #18 on:** September 12, 2006, 05:15:29 PM »

Inland Empire is going to be cut to roughly 2 hours. Lynch's first cuts are always significantly longer than his final films.

The Fake Shemp · « **Reply #19 on:** September 12, 2006, 05:55:44 PM »

Uh, I already saw it, White Man.

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Author Topic: Willco Reviews Movies from the Future... (Read 1822 times)