Don't shame our culture, we have the best detection rate for colorectal cancer in the world thanks to the way our toilets are built. Looking at your poo saves millions of lives!
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Fascinating.Why don't you do this in private?
or, she actually didn't keep it secret which I have said about 5 times now. But I'm going with #1
I can't jerk off at work, I don't have a military job.
I'd kill for a military job.