Kevin Smith's Next Comedy: "Zack and Miri Make a Porno" Staring Rosario Dawson

[Cheebs]

Kevin Smith annouced his next film (after Red State, his anti-conservative slasher movie) that will be filmed next year (red state filming this fall):

Zack and Miri Make a Porno

"Zack and Miri" is about two friends who have managed to trudge into their 30s with a satisfying lack of accomplishment. But a 15-year high school reunion and dire rent problems spark the novel moneymaking idea of pulling together an amateur porn enterprise.

It will star Rosario Dawson and will be his first film with nudity since Mallrats he says.

[Phoenix Dark]

Nudity...Rosario? OMG. I loved her in Kids

[Himu]

Rosario <3

[Mupepe]

sounds crappy like most of his work.


oh yeah, i forgot the obligatory "<3 Rosario"

[Cheebs]

Nudity...Rosario? OMG. I loved her in Kids

she has done nudity before you know, this isn't new for her.

[Saint Cornelius]

sounds crappy like most of his work.

fuck OFF

[Himu]

sounds crappy like most of his work.

mupepe sucks. die in a fire, queef.

[Tauntaun]

screw the haters!  I wub me some Mupupu!    unf

[Mupepe]

sounds crappy like most of his work.

mupepe sucks. die in a fire, queef.

your taste in movies is an argument that I don't even have to use.  It speaks for itself.

and god, I do love me some Tauntaun

[Tauntaun]

------> * ** *

[brawndolicious]

sounds like it's going to suck.

[Himu]

sounds crappy like most of his work.

mupepe sucks. die in a fire, queef.

your taste in movies is an argument that I don't even have to use.  It speaks for itself.

Yeah well..no more snuggles for you!

[Cheebs]

sounds like it's going to suck.

except the only time a smith movie sucked was when he tried to do a sappy rom-com, which this is not.

[Phoenix Dark]

Cheebs why aren't you in class

[Cheebs]

Cheebs why aren't you in class

who says I am not?

[Phoenix Dark]

 

[TVC15]

sounds like it's going to suck.

except the only time a smith movie sucked was when he tried to do a sappy rom-com, which this is not.

Chasing Amy and Dogma both sucked, too.

And Jay and Silent Bob, too.  Jeez, I almost mentally blocked that one.

[Phoenix Dark]

Dude Chasing Amy is good!

[TVC15]

Dude Chasing Amy is good!

It's the closest of the movies listed to actually being good.  It has one of the worst endings in movie history, though.

[Mupepe]

sounds like it's going to suck.

except the only time a smith movie sucked was when he tried to do a sappy rom-com, which this is not.

wrong.  dogma was horse crap

and yeah, jay and silent bob annoy the fuck out of me.

[Cheebs]

I forgot about jay and silent bob, it was not up to his other stuff


1. Chasing Amy: 10/10
2. Clerks II: 9/10
3. Clerks: 9/10
4. Mallrats: 8.5/10 (fuck you mallrats is good)
5. Dogma: 8.5/10
6. Jay & Silent Bob Strike Back: 7/10
7. Jersey Girl: 6/10 (not as horrible as it is made out to be)

[TVC15]

Chasing Amy in no way deserves a 10/10.  Like I said, it has a Hindenburg disaster of an ending.

[Mupepe]

I forgot about jay and silent bob, it was not up to his other stuff


1. Chasing Amy: 10/10
2. Clerks II: 9/10
3. Clerks: 9/10
4. Mallrats: 8.5/10 (fuck you mallrats is good)
5. Dogma: 8.5/10
6. Jay & Silent Bob Strike Back: 7/10
7. Jersey Girl: 6/10 (not as horrible as it is made out to be)

total wtf's at the bolded

how is clerks II about clerks??  and i would never give any kevin smith movie a 10/10

[Cheebs]

I forgot about jay and silent bob, it was not up to his other stuff


1. Chasing Amy: 10/10
2. Clerks II: 9/10
3. Clerks: 9/10
4. Mallrats: 8.5/10 (fuck you mallrats is good)
5. Dogma: 8.5/10
6. Jay & Silent Bob Strike Back: 7/10
7. Jersey Girl: 6/10 (not as horrible as it is made out to be)

total wtf's at the bolded

how is clerks II about clerks??  and i would never give any kevin smith movie a 10/10

willco, shake, and many others agree clerks II is a superior film.

[TVC15]

I forgot about jay and silent bob, it was not up to his other stuff


1. Chasing Amy: 10/10
2. Clerks II: 9/10
3. Clerks: 9/10
4. Mallrats: 8.5/10 (fuck you mallrats is good)
5. Dogma: 8.5/10
6. Jay & Silent Bob Strike Back: 7/10
7. Jersey Girl: 6/10 (not as horrible as it is made out to be)

total wtf's at the bolded

how is clerks II about clerks??  and i would never give any kevin smith movie a 10/10

willco, shake, and many others agree clerks II is a superior film.

[Cheebs]

I forgot about jay and silent bob, it was not up to his other stuff


1. Chasing Amy: 10/10
2. Clerks II: 9/10
3. Clerks: 9/10
4. Mallrats: 8.5/10 (fuck you mallrats is good)
5. Dogma: 8.5/10
6. Jay & Silent Bob Strike Back: 7/10
7. Jersey Girl: 6/10 (not as horrible as it is made out to be)

total wtf's at the bolded

how is clerks II about clerks??  and i would never give any kevin smith movie a 10/10

willco, shake, and many others agree clerks II is a superior film.

clerks II is better shot and has a more "mature" plot.

[TVC15]

What does plot have to do with anything?  Clerks barely even had a plot.  Clerks is downright existential and actually nails the retail experience, whereas Clerks 2 is just a pretty good comedy.

[Cheebs]

What does plot have to do with anything?  Clerks barely even had a plot.  Clerks is downright existential and actually nails the retail experience, whereas Clerks 2 is just a pretty good comedy.

Clerks I is harder to watch just as a movie, clerks II is more enjoyable as a simple movie. It may not help that I never had retail experience.

[Van Cruncheon]

wtf is this inflated score shit? you have a full scale; use it! also you are bad at movies.

corrected for reality:

1. Chasing Amy: 6/10
2. Clerks II: 7.5/10
3. Clerks: 8/10
4. Mallrats: 7.5/10
5. Dogma: 1.5/10
6. Jay & Silent Bob Strike Back: 2/10
7. Jersey Girl: 1/10

[Van Cruncheon]

also, using shake to shore up your taste in movies is like using corky from life goes on to shore up your taste in olympic athletes.

[Phoenix Dark]

wtf is this inflated score shit? you have a full scale; use it! also you are bad at movies.

corrected for reality:

1. Chasing Amy: 6/10
2. Clerks II: 7.5/10
3. Clerks: 8/10
4. Mallrats: 7.5/10
5. Dogma: 1.5/10
6. Jay & Silent Bob Strike Back: 2/10
7. Jersey Girl: 1/10

It must be quite an abortion for you to hate it that much

[TVC15]

wtf is this inflated score shit? you have a full scale; use it! also you are bad at movies.

corrected for reality:

1. Chasing Amy: 6/10
2. Clerks II: 7.5/10
3. Clerks: 8/10
4. Mallrats: 7.5/10
5. Dogma: 1.5/10
6. Jay & Silent Bob Strike Back: 2/10
7. Jersey Girl: 1/10

It must be quite an abortion for you to hate it that much

It in the same family of bad as Chasing Amy.  It thinks it is much more clever than it actually is, and this effectively pantses the movie.  It is also Jay and Silent Bob heavy which is an automatic 6 point deduction.

[Phoenix Dark]

I thought Jay and Silent Bob were funny in Chasing Amy. 

[TVC15]

I thought Jay and Silent Bob were funny in Chasing Amy. 

Jay and Silent Bob weren't in Chasing Amy.  I think you mean Jay and Deus Ex Machina.

[Solo]

Someone please stop this hack from making movies.

[Cheebs]

wtf is this inflated score shit? you have a full scale; use it! also you are bad at movies.

I use a more "school" kind of rating. 10/9=A, 8=B, 7=C, 6=D..etc

I don't care if it is too high I am not attempting to be a omg awesome reviewer with respected views.

[FatalT]

If I see some Rosario crevice in this movie, I'll give all my money to Kevin Smith (after fapping furiously in the theater's front row seats).

[Van Cruncheon]

wtf is this inflated score shit? you have a full scale; use it! also you are bad at movies.

I use a more "school" kind of rating. 10/9=A, 8=B, 7=C, 6=D..etc

I don't care if it is too high I am not attempting to be a omg awesome reviewer with respected views.

well, that's good, because using the upper end of the score system makes you the dave halverson of movie reviewers. seriously, though, just use A-F if you wanna parallel the school system, because giving crap movies a 6 -- equivalent to 3/5 stars -- makes you a chump!

[Cheebs]

wtf is this inflated score shit? you have a full scale; use it! also you are bad at movies.

I use a more "school" kind of rating. 10/9=A, 8=B, 7=C, 6=D..etc

I don't care if it is too high I am not attempting to be a omg awesome reviewer with respected views.

well, that's good, because using the upper end of the score system makes you the dave halverson of movie reviewer. seriously, though, just use A-F if you wanna parallel the school system, because giving crap movies a 6 -- equivalent to 3/5 stars -- makes you a chump!

Jersey Girl is a D then sir.

[Flannel Boy]

wtf is this inflated score shit? you have a full scale; use it! also you are bad at movies.

I use a more "school" kind of rating. 10/9=A, 8=B, 7=C, 6=D..etc

I don't care if it is too high I am not attempting to be a omg awesome reviewer with respected views.

well, that's good, because using the upper end of the score system makes you the dave halverson of movie reviewer. seriously, though, just use A-F if you wanna parallel the school system, because giving crap movies a 6 -- equivalent to 3/5 stars -- makes you a chump!

Jersey Girl is a D then sir.

I hear the US has rampant grade inflation. And I see that the grade inflation is not limited to the universities.

[MrAngryFace]

CLERKS II WAS DUMB AMEN

[FlameOfCallandor]

Dogma: 9
Mall Rats: 8
Clerks2: 7.5
Clerks: 7
Jay and Silent Bob: 6
Chasing Amy: 5 The ending does suck. He suggests a giant orgy??? WTF I thought he waqs joking at first.

[Tauntaun]

kevin smith, lol

[MrAngryFace]

Clerks is better than Clerks II.

[Van Cruncheon]

how did ANYBODY enjoy dogma?

[MrAngryFace]

People who think they know about religions

[Cyanista]

sounds crappy like most of his work.

QFT

The only Smith movies worth watching were Clerks and Mallrats. 

(ps I haven't seen Clerks 2 yet)

[Van Cruncheon]

clerks 2 is roughly on par with mallrats. it totally lacks the existential ennui of the first that gave that movie its bite, and it has a lot more over-the-top gags. still, it's fun and has a little heart to it.

[FlameOfCallandor]

how did ANYBODY enjoy dogma?

It's widely considered his best work.

Maybe I'll get David Lynch to re-edit it so you can find meaning that isnt there and feel good about yourself.

[Phoenix Dark]

how did ANYBODY enjoy dogma?

It's widely considered his best work.

Maybe I'll get David Lynch to re-edit it so you can find meaning that isnt there and feel good about yourself.

[Van Cruncheon]

why, his WIDELY CONSIDERED best work has a 68% at rottentomatoes, whereas CLERKS has an 86%

dogma is total shit, dude. it's only considered good by mouth-breathing kevin smith clithangers or folks who think "god is a woman" is a cunningly hilarious dig at their catholic roots; everyone else found it to be an embarassingly shallow and deeply unfunny demonstration of cinematic amateurishness by a director already considered a one-trick pony.

[Saint Cornelius]

I liked Dogma.

[TVC15]

how did ANYBODY enjoy dogma?

It's widely considered his best work.

Clerks and Chasing Amy are definitely considered to be his best movies.

[Cheebs]

how did ANYBODY enjoy dogma?

It's widely considered his best work.

no? Critics say Chasing Amy is his best (according to smith he was told in secret he was one single vote away from being nominated for an academy award for best writer in '97 for Chasing Amy).

Fans tend to say Clerks (but I say II is better)

[TVC15]

He also got one of those obscenely long standing ovations at Cannes for Chasing Amy, which was kind of a big deal because most Cannes critic types hated hated hated Mallrats.

[Cheebs]

He also got one of those obscenely long standing ovations at Cannes for Chasing Amy, which was kind of a big deal because most Cannes critic types hated hated hated Mallrats.

yeah. Like I said the film was 1 single vote away from netting him an academy nomination. I'd say Dogma wasn't that close for critics.

[Van Cruncheon]

how is 2 better? while 1 had worse acting, it did a magnificent job of capturing the existential ennui (lol there i go again) of the early twenty-something suburban retail monkey life -- where no-one plans for the future and each day is an instance unto itself, wholly separate yet never defined by any purpose beyond stupid hijinks and gossip. clerks 2 starts to touch on it, but it also too often devolves into mallrats 2: mooby's edition, all the while ironically lacking the strong sense of cinematic purpose that made mallrats such a hilarious riff on 80s misfit comedy. clerks 2 was fun, but it was also fairly confused.

[Cyanista]

Dogma is in my top (bottom, ha) ten worst movies EVER. 

Kevin Smith has a serious writing problem.  His characters all speak in the same voice.  This has never been more apparent and irritating than it was in dogma.

Unless, of course, you happen to think a prophet, angels, stoners, muses, demons, and human scumbags from New Jersey should all sound like they grew up together.

[Cheebs]

Dogma is in my top (bottom, ha) ten worst movies EVER. 

It makes no sense when people list "competent" movies as their worst ever. The worst movies ever are stuff like Manos Hands of Fate, Plan 9 From Outerspace and so on.

[Van Cruncheon]

yup. manos and plan 9 are FUN in their own delightfully terrible way. they're great social movies. dogma is bad in a way that demoralizes and depresses you, like a michael bay movie or the average SNL skit-turned-movie.