Author Topic: Cross-Cultural Relationship Discussion: Male vs Female (Read 2342 times)

etiolate · « **on:** June 08, 2007, 02:07:54 AM »

For those that are the ethnic evilboreans or whatever. Those with closer cultural heritage than myself. Do you find there to be a difference in the acceptance of males in the family dating outside their culture versus females in the family dating outside their culture? Can a male bring home a white woman and it be more accepted than the female bringing home an outsider male?

Phoenix Dark · « **Reply #1 on:** June 08, 2007, 03:06:45 AM »

Quote from: etiolate on June 08, 2007, 02:07:54 AM

For those that are the ethnic evilboreans or whatever. Those with closer cultural heritage than myself. Do you find there to be a difference in the acceptance of males in the family dating outside their culture versus females in the family dating outside their culture? Can a male bring home a white woman and it be more accepted than the female bringing home an outsider male?

Definitely. Culturally these are seen as different things. A female introducing her family to her boyfriend of a different ethnicity is typically met with more concern (and even hostility) than the opposite situation. Females are expected to act a certain way in our male dominated society, and when they deviate from that in this way for instance, it has a negative connotation. Dating always opens the door of the sibling being "taken away" from the family by a stranger, and when that stranger is of a different ethnicty tension can erupt.

In my situation, I doubt my parents would be upset or concerned about me dating outside of the race; it's my grandparents and aunts who I'd worry about. They've expressed their concern over this on many occassions. Sometimes it's slight, almost subliminal. Other times it's more overt as they express their concern over the "black men going after sorry white women" phenomena/stereotype/whatever you want to call it. As I've said before, I'm not extremely attracted to white women, but I would love to see the looks on my family's faces if I brought one to Thanksgiving dinner.

brawndolicious · « **Reply #2 on:** June 08, 2007, 03:14:59 AM »

this is actually the minority of racists.

if you can't convince them she probably wouldn't show you to them. racism is a fear thing. there is no rational reason to preserve your purity or be worried about losing your children.

Phoenix Dark · « **Reply #3 on:** June 08, 2007, 03:35:15 AM »

Quote from: am nintenho on June 08, 2007, 03:14:59 AM

racism is a fear thing. there is no rational reason to preserve your purity or be worried about losing your children.

Sadly there are lots of older people out there who don't feel that way. There's still that subtle level of prejudice, one that may not be extreme racism but is still closed minded bigotry.

etiolate · « **Reply #4 on:** June 08, 2007, 03:51:12 AM »

Thanks for the response PD. More people chime in.

Himu · « **Reply #5 on:** June 08, 2007, 04:00:42 AM »

Yes.

Black females w/ asian males isn't frowned, for example, but there tends to be tension since it is a rare sight.

In the black community older folks feel it is best to do date within the race, but more younger black men gravitate towards dating other races now, and the only ones who give them guff are the black women. When a black woman dates one outside the race everyone frowns upon it, either male or otherwise.

Phoenix Dark · « **Reply #6 on:** June 08, 2007, 04:04:00 AM »

Quote from: Himuro on June 08, 2007, 04:00:42 AM

Yes.

Black females w/ asian males isn't frowned, for example, but there tends to be tension since it is a rare sight.

In the black community older folks feel it is best to do date within the race, but more younger black men gravitate towards dating other races now, and the only ones who give them guff are the black women. When a black woman dates one outside the race everyone frowns upon it, either male or otherwise.

Culture can play a major role as well though. When you date outside of your race in many cases you wind up dating outside the "culture". Many times that can have religious connotations, like catholic hispanics for instance.

Himu · « **Reply #7 on:** June 08, 2007, 04:06:00 AM »

Quote from: am nintenho on June 08, 2007, 03:14:59 AM

this is actually the minority of racists.

if you can't convince them she probably wouldn't show you to them. racism is a fear thing. there is no rational reason to preserve your purity or be worried about losing your children.

Things are not so black and white, actually.

This has nothing to do with racism except in certain situations.

Phoenix Dark · « **Reply #8 on:** June 08, 2007, 04:09:14 AM »

Quote from: Himuro on June 08, 2007, 04:06:00 AM

Quote from: am nintenho on June 08, 2007, 03:14:59 AM
this is actually the minority of racists.

if you can't convince them she probably wouldn't show you to them. racism is a fear thing. there is no rational reason to preserve your purity or be worried about losing your children.

Things are not so black and white, actually.

This has nothing to do with racism except in certain situations.

That's why I didn't call it racism...

On one hand it's kind of understandable, although that doesn't make it right.

Himu · « **Reply #9 on:** June 08, 2007, 04:27:09 AM »

[quote author=Michelle the Fibber link=topic=9369.msg228051#msg228051 date=1181289840
Culture can play a major role as well though. When you date outside of your race in many cases you wind up dating outside the "culture". Many times that can have religious connotations, like catholic hispanics for instance.
[/quote]

It depends. With some races this is a big issue because of their culture, with others it's not.

For instance, compare a Hindu's beliefs to a black family's and you will see a difference in the Indian family's attitude, but their beliefs are mostly a minority and almost irrelevant in the western world, because they don't jive the average American mentality at all, much like how it would be irrelevant if we applied our opinion of the subject in India. In most cases in America it's got little to do with religion or culture and more to do with appearence. Why do rarely see Black females w/ Asian men? Because they play into the stereotype that they're small.

etiolate · « **Reply #10 on:** June 08, 2007, 07:04:03 AM »

What exactly is the restriction for women dating outside their culture? The loss of sibling?

CrystalGemini · « **Reply #11 on:** June 08, 2007, 07:35:15 AM »

It would be worse if the male of a Chinese family dated outside their race. Why? Because the male, especially the eldest, is the heir to the "family legacy". If the "family legacy" were "tainted" - it would be considered a travesty. Homemade Milk, for example, would be disowned. Whereas if I married outside my culture, my parents would show discontent but in the end I would "belong to another family" (change my last name...etc.) anyway so it doesn't matter.

Homemade Milk, however, is the first son of the first son (my father). He is considered the primary heir in our family. Now if my parents knew he was hitting on Lemurs and all the little white girls at school....

etiolate · « **Reply #12 on:** June 08, 2007, 07:45:08 AM »

And what happens when he proposes to a blood elf?

Cyanista · « **Reply #13 on:** June 08, 2007, 12:35:55 PM »

Hilarious. Who knew the chinese were so distinguished mentally-challenged about things like bloodlines? Oh, wait. I did.

PS guy who said this isn't racism. Lawl.

Himu · « **Reply #14 on:** June 08, 2007, 01:02:58 PM »

It's not always racism.

You're white. You have the benefit of every race wanting to be on you so you don't even know what it's like at all.

Mupepe · « **Reply #15 on:** June 08, 2007, 01:05:55 PM »

i'm not racist for the sake of preserving bloodlines... i'm racist because they use slang, dress funny, rob banks and eat chitlins

Himu · « **Reply #16 on:** June 08, 2007, 01:07:44 PM »

Your sister is black.

Mupepe · « **Reply #17 on:** June 08, 2007, 01:08:25 PM »

Quote from: Himuro on June 08, 2007, 01:07:44 PM

Your sister is black.

she's only half, so she doesn't rob banks or eat chitlins. i can handle that

Himu · « **Reply #18 on:** June 08, 2007, 01:12:51 PM »

But not all black folks in America even have 100% African blood. In fact, most don't.

RACIST

CrystalGemini · « **Reply #19 on:** June 08, 2007, 01:35:07 PM »

Quote from: Himuro on June 08, 2007, 01:02:58 PM

You're white. You have the benefit of every race wanting to be on you so you don't even know what it's like at all.

Chinese people hate white people.

For the most part, they think they're a dumb and dirty race (among other things).

Mupepe · « **Reply #20 on:** June 08, 2007, 01:38:23 PM »

Quote from: Himuro on June 08, 2007, 01:12:51 PM

But not all black folks in America even have 100% African blood. In fact, most don't.

RACIST

i've never denied being racist. i am very racist.

Phoenix Dark · « **Reply #21 on:** June 08, 2007, 01:40:11 PM »

Quote from: Himuro on June 08, 2007, 01:02:58 PM

It's not always racism.

You're white. You have the benefit of every race wanting to be on you so you don't even know what it's like at all.

Exactly. My grandparents have a level of distrust for white people that I simply will never understand, because I've never been through what they have. Today they have certain opinions rooted in those experiences, and I'm not willing to throw them under the bridge just yet. Perhaps I'd have some psychological issues with whites if the only job I was allowed to do was people's laundry in a big bucket of water, outside the back door of the place - through all the seasons.

Cyanista · « **Reply #22 on:** June 08, 2007, 01:40:40 PM »

Ohnoes! Seeing as the only chinese guy to meet my height requirement is Yao Ming, they can think what they want of my intelligence and my bathing habits. Whatever gets them to sleep at night.

Phoenix Dark · « **Reply #23 on:** June 08, 2007, 01:59:55 PM »

I thought asians in general loved white people, and wanted to be them

CrystalGemini · « **Reply #24 on:** June 08, 2007, 02:31:26 PM »

Quote from: Michelle the Fibber on June 08, 2007, 01:59:55 PM

I thought asians in general loved white people, and wanted to be them

That's Japanese people. And even then, you do not see many cross-cultural marriages. Love for a culture does not mean love for its people.

brawndolicious · « **Reply #25 on:** June 08, 2007, 02:33:20 PM »

wtf is "ethnic"?

FlameOfCallandor · « **Reply #26 on:** June 08, 2007, 03:01:13 PM »

No, GAF has taught me that only white people can be racist. If any other race acts the same way is part of their culture.

Fresh Prince · « **Reply #27 on:** June 09, 2007, 12:15:01 AM »

Quote from: Michelle the Fibber on June 08, 2007, 01:59:55 PM

I thought asians in general loved white people, and wanted to be them

That's Indians. Well tbh they want to be English not generally 'white'.
Also religion is probably as important as ethnicity to some older Indians.

Indians generally hate Africans (general black stereotype), then Arabs (mostly due to be treated like slaves in Dubai).

Phoenix Dark · « **Reply #28 on:** June 09, 2007, 02:47:40 AM »

Quote from: Fresh Prince on June 09, 2007, 12:15:01 AM

Quote from: Michelle the Fibber on June 08, 2007, 01:59:55 PM
I thought asians in general loved white people, and wanted to be them
That's Indians. Well tbh they want to be English not generally 'white'.
Also religion is probably as important as ethnicity to some older Indians.

Indians generally hate Africans (general black stereotype), then Arabs (mostly due to be treated like slaves in Dubai).

It's a shame too. Indian women are so beautiful when they don't have beards

etiolate · « **Reply #29 on:** June 09, 2007, 03:24:40 AM »

I just want to sex them all but they tie their wimins up from me.

Fresh Prince · « **Reply #30 on:** June 09, 2007, 04:16:55 AM »

Quote from: Michelle the Fibber on June 09, 2007, 02:47:40 AM

It's a shame too. Indian women are so beautiful when they don't have beards

They don't have beards they have moustaches. Get your facts straight PD!

tiesto · « **Reply #31 on:** June 09, 2007, 10:41:02 AM »

Quote from: CrystalGemini on June 08, 2007, 02:31:26 PM

Quote from: Michelle the Fibber on June 08, 2007, 01:59:55 PM
I thought asians in general loved white people, and wanted to be them
That's Japanese people. And even then, you do not see many cross-cultural marriages. Love for a culture does not mean love for its people.

I see plenty of White guy/Asian girl (Chinese and Korean mostly since they're the biggest Asian populations around here) couples... It's probably the most common interracial marriage. Though you never see Asian guys with White girls, I think I saw this once in my life while in Greenwich, and that was probably the least strange thing one can see in the village =P

Asian and Indian dudes, and Black girls get fucked over the most in relationship issues.

Cyanista · « **Reply #32 on:** June 09, 2007, 11:15:28 AM »

Right. I live in the middle of NOWHERE and I see plenty of asian chicks with white guys. You just don't see the relationships happening much the other way.

MrAngryFace · « **Reply #33 on:** June 09, 2007, 11:20:33 AM »

A hot woman is a hot woman.

Fresh Prince · « **Reply #34 on:** June 09, 2007, 04:52:28 PM »

Indian guys don't really get screwed over as long as they want an Indian women

tiesto · « **Reply #35 on:** June 10, 2007, 02:21:46 AM »

Quote from: Fresh Prince on June 09, 2007, 04:52:28 PM

Indian guys don't really get screwed over as long as they want an Indian women

I heard white girls aren't into Indian guys much either. But I've seen white dudes go out with Indian girls quite a bit, so you've got competition on that front.

Phoenix Dark · « **Reply #36 on:** June 10, 2007, 03:03:31 AM »

I've never seen an Indian dating outside of the race. I've met a few Indian chicks who seemed like they weren't into the tradition/religion, but were too afraid to go against it.

cloudwalking · « **Reply #37 on:** June 10, 2007, 03:30:01 AM »

i know that if i showed up at home with a boyfriend who wasn't white, my parents would be surprised, and i know they would be a bit uncomfortable with it for a while. but they would get over it. they're not racist, they just kind of expect me to just date white guys.

Phoenix Dark · « **Reply #38 on:** June 10, 2007, 03:39:24 AM »

Yeah, they'd be like "hm he can't be more of a failure than our daughters, Ms. Preggers and Ms. Retail"

spoiler (click to show/hide)

i luvv you jk

[close]

etiolate · « **Reply #39 on:** June 10, 2007, 04:01:20 AM »

Quote from: tiesto on June 10, 2007, 02:21:46 AM

Quote from: Fresh Prince on June 09, 2007, 04:52:28 PM
Indian guys don't really get screwed over as long as they want an Indian women

I heard white girls aren't into Indian guys much either. But I've seen white dudes go out with Indian girls quite a bit, so you've got competition on that front.

Us white dudes love the imports.

CrystalGemini · « **Reply #40 on:** June 10, 2007, 05:11:51 AM »

FOBs are gross.

etiolate · « **Reply #41 on:** June 10, 2007, 05:21:23 AM »

grossly underrated you mean

Himu · « **Reply #42 on:** June 10, 2007, 05:26:34 AM »

wtf is fob

CrystalGemini · « **Reply #43 on:** June 10, 2007, 05:35:40 AM »

Fresh Off the Boat.

Ichirou · « **Reply #44 on:** June 10, 2007, 06:21:57 AM »

Quote from: CrystalGemini on June 10, 2007, 05:11:51 AM

FOBs are gross.

Why do all stateside-born Chinese Americans hate FOBs? Yesterday I was talking to Tsubaki and he pointed me to a YouTube video featuring a friend of his trying out for some inventor game show. After I watched it, he's like "He has such a strong accent, it's so obvious he's a FOB" and I'm like "Huh? He sounds no different from any other chinese american I've met" and he's like "IF YOU SAY HE SOUNDS LIKE ME I WILL SLAP YOU." He got really pissed off at even the thought that he might sound like a FOB. Such strong hatred and prejudice.

Fresh Prince · « **Reply #45 on:** June 10, 2007, 07:12:09 AM »

Quote from: Michelle the Fibber on June 10, 2007, 03:03:31 AM

I've never seen an Indian dating outside of the race. I've met a few Indian chicks who seemed like they weren't into the tradition/religion, but were too afraid to go against it.

What he said.

Quote from: Ichirou on June 10, 2007, 06:21:57 AM

Why do all stateside-born Chinese Americans hate FOBs? Yesterday I was talking to Tsubaki and he pointed me to a YouTube video featuring a friend of his trying out for some inventor game show. After I watched it, he's like "He has such a strong accent, it's so obvious he's a FOB" and I'm like "Huh? He sounds no different from any other chinese american I've met" and he's like "IF YOU SAY HE SOUNDS LIKE ME I WILL SLAP YOU." He got really pissed off at even the thought that he might sound like a FOB. Such strong hatred and prejudice.

They're are a lot of self hating types.

Myself included. Basically most of the Indian students here are basically 'rich brats', the few that I met really don't know what they are doing when it comes to subject material and are really obnoxious ie loud, arrogant/ignorant when in public etc.

TBH they are the most hated students at university (atleast IT/Comp Sci/Engineering).

Prost · « **Reply #46 on:** June 10, 2007, 12:02:00 PM »

Quote from: CrystalGemini on June 08, 2007, 01:35:07 PM

Quote from: Himuro on June 08, 2007, 01:02:58 PM
You're white. You have the benefit of every race wanting to be on you so you don't even know what it's like at all.
Chinese people hate white people. For the most part, they think they're a dumb and dirty race (among other things).

We love Chinese though. Great businessmen! Chinese will be the super power of the world soon so you'll be hated by everyone soon too.

why dont you list those other wonderful things?

Himu · « **Reply #47 on:** June 10, 2007, 01:30:46 PM »

I want to talk to Tsubaki.

Ichirou · « **Reply #48 on:** June 10, 2007, 06:17:02 PM »

He's my buddy. He stayed over at my place in January.

Synbios459 · « **Reply #49 on:** September 11, 2007, 01:06:56 AM »

What do you guys think of Native-American guys/girls?

Ichirou · « **Reply #50 on:** September 11, 2007, 02:08:17 AM »

Quote from: Synbios459 on September 11, 2007, 01:06:56 AM

What do you guys think of Native-American guys/girls?

What do you think of Native-American guys/girls?

Robo · « **Reply #51 on:** September 11, 2007, 02:14:17 AM »

Cajole, make a gif of Kramer driving past Jerry and his girlfriend in his car holding his new barbershop Indian, tapping his mouth like an attacking Apache.

Synbios459 · « **Reply #52 on:** September 11, 2007, 03:15:07 AM »

Quote from: Ichirou on September 11, 2007, 02:08:17 AM

Quote from: Synbios459 on September 11, 2007, 01:06:56 AM
What do you guys think of Native-American guys/girls?

What do you think of Native-American guys/girls?

Therrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrre GREAT!!!

xnikki118x · « **Reply #53 on:** September 11, 2007, 03:24:04 AM »

Quote from: Phoenix Dark on June 08, 2007, 03:06:45 AM

Definitely. Culturally these are seen as different things. A female introducing her family to her boyfriend of a different ethnicity is typically met with more concern (and even hostility) than the opposite situation. Females are expected to act a certain way in our male dominated society, and when they deviate from that in this way for instance, it has a negative connotation. Dating always opens the door of the sibling being "taken away" from the family by a stranger, and when that stranger is of a different ethnicty tension can erupt.

I agree. On a more shallow level than what you said, every parent, especially every dad, wants the best for their little girl. Boyfriends of daughters are under much more scrutiny than girlfriends of sons. If the daughter's boyfriend is a different race/ethnicity/religion/whatever, it makes it even worse.

Synbios459 · « **Reply #54 on:** September 11, 2007, 10:25:29 PM »

Quote from: CrystalGemini on June 08, 2007, 07:35:15 AM

It would be worse if the male of a Chinese family dated outside their race. Why? Because the male, especially the eldest, is the heir to the "family legacy". If the "family legacy" were "tainted" - it would be considered a travesty. Homemade Milk, for example, would be disowned. Whereas if I married outside my culture, my parents would show discontent but in the end I would "belong to another family" (change my last name...etc.) anyway so it doesn't matter.

Homemade Milk, however, is the first son of the first son (my father). He is considered the primary heir in our family. Now if my parents knew he was hitting on Lemurs and all the little white girls at school....

Well, since he's an Asian guy you won't have to worry about that.

Ichirou · « **Reply #55 on:** September 11, 2007, 11:32:18 PM »

Why are you people replying to two-month-old messages? And why was this thread bumped?

News:

Author Topic: Cross-Cultural Relationship Discussion: Male vs Female (Read 2342 times)