Celebrate Kraftwerk with a KRAFTWERK THANKSGIVING:
Man it was hard at the place today we did this Kraftwerk Thänksgiving with the boys Téodor and Ray. Ray ain't so much of a Kraftwerk fan but he gets the idea and since he was all beaned up on knock-knock gas he thought it would be fun (of course it would be fun Ray). Anyhow so the theme of a good Kraftwerk Thänksgiving is that it is a regular supper with turkey and carrots and stuff but the mood is very severe and everyone acts like Kraftwerk. Kraftwerk Thänksgivings always end with someone admitting that though they have eaten, they remain unsatisfied. We dogged it up real proper this year and here is some of how we played it.
ME: Welcome to zis Kraftwerk Thänksgiving it is not important that you sit down but you may find it konvenient
MOLLY: Please be seated at my home
ME: Woman does not give orders [shoots her a severe glance]
TÉODOR: I will sit it is ze korrect form for eating, it is ideally designed
RAY: [kind of getting it] Ja, I sit down!
ME: Fine then be seated as I mentioned it is not important to me
MOLLY: I will check on the potatoes
RAY: [slightly incorrect buzzy robot voice] I...WOULD...LIKE...A...MARTINI...
ME: Perhaps you cannot have...a martini?
RAY: Oh, you playin' with me!
ME: [shoots him severe glance]
RAY: Oh, right. [Clears throat, points to heart] This...hurts...me
ME: [turning quickly to Téodor] Fetch him zis "martini." I do not know what it is. It is some dumb drink a man puts in his face. It makes him sick and he goes to his work the next day with a shit in his body.
TÉODOR: [runs off quickly]
MOLLY: [from kitchen] THE POTATOES ARE DONE, THEY ARE COOKED COMPLETELY
ME: You may bring in the food now and put it at the center of the table
RAY: Man, that's really nice how you got it all so she—
ME: [severe glance]
RAY: Oh hee man sorry uh...the woman she pleases the man
ME: Indeed for centuries it is the order why do I think I can change this thing it would be the ultimate arrogance
TÉODOR: Here is the martini
RAY: Dude, you ain't serve a martini in a zip-top sandwich baggie, dogg. Especially not with the olive in another baggie.
TÉODOR: [squints hard, stares straight forward, as though experiencing a sharp pain]
ME: [sharp glance]
RAY: Oh, sorry guys. Thank You For The Martini dogg
ME: He thanks you.
TÉODOR: He tries
MOLLY: [brings in turkey on carving board, sets it before me]
ME: The knifes please
MOLLY: [produces my carving set from the sideboard] The knifes
ME: As you know I say a speech. This is the holiday of Thanksgiving. It is a day of eating food that is baked, and food that is lightly cooked in a sauté or a hot pot of liquid. If you can bear it then announce why you are thankful on this day. Remember that your opinions may seem boorish or those of an ass to every person who is here.
RAY: I'm thankful for anyone who can get me a straw
ME: There are straws in the cupboard beneath the toaster they are next to the Captain Crunch
MOLLY: It is a large box they were on a sale price
TÉODOR: They are the kind with the flexible neck you can not miss them
ME: Bring the whole box so we may make sculptures after the meal
RAY: Oh dope
Anyhow the Kraftwerk Thänksgiving went pretty much like that. Ray ended up talking us into going over to his place for some Braveheart and Johnnie Walker Blue Label. Even though we had had a pretty good sized turkey dinner the first thing he did was heat up his fry-o-lator and make a bunch of batches of fries. Dude has technique; we grubbled on those for most of the night and I think they helped me from gettin' too clopsy on the Scotch.
