
I guess this story starts like. . .two weeks ago. I forget the details because my Hetfield-esque alcoholism only allows me to recall things that have happened in the past several hours. Long story short, it was somewhat late on a Friday night, I stopped in at my local Gamestop to purchase something that I probably haven't played since or possibly haven't even unwrapped, and in the mad rush to avoid pitches for preorders and magazines and preowned games, I gave away the one precious thing that our god Jesus only gives you once: my gamertag.
Now, it's not like I gave it to some random Gamestop employee. I'm a regular at this store and I frequently waste money there. Professor Prole frequently curses in front of young children (and their parents) in that very store. I usually end up there a few times a week. The employee I gave it to was probably the nicest one at the store. He was decidedly un-Willco and seemed to roughly share gaming tastes with me. At the time, it didn't seem like a big deal to give him my Gamertag. . .I mean, after all, I have like 60 GAF people on my list that are basically anonymous to me.
I turned on my 360 for the first time since that episode last night. It was a distant memory if I could even willfully recall it. Then I saw the invite. And the Gamertag attached to it. . .
:'( TifaRulesX
(Note that the X there is actually a year. I have replaced it to protect the innocent).
I sat back and thought of the repurcussions of my mistake. His gamer score was much much higher than mine. Higher than demi's, even. Him knowing my score, comparing it to his, and him knowing how much more shit I purchase than him, would this open me up for ribbing at the store? Have I in effect forcibly exiled myself from my local Gameplop? Can I face this sales associate now that he knows that my epenis barely qualifies as a clitoris? Will he even let me buy anything else? Oh fuck, what if he tries to message me? FUCK FUCK FUCK
So basically I didn't sleep last night. Just cold sweat and fear, for hours.
