Shitty Game Weekend Rental #2: The Darkness (X360)

[The Fake Shemp]

I hate you!

[FatalT]

The Darkness' ending really is bad, though. Demi wasn't trolling that.

[The Fake Shemp]

I don't think so.  It's open ended, but it's based a comic book.  He takes care of business and we wrap up the story.

[demi]

7.0 game

You know what's the hardest thing about this game? Not the enemies, not any bosses, especially on "hard" as my achievement shows

But the multiplayer lag. You know how difficult it is traversing your way through lag to capture the flag? Do you?

Starbreeze is a shameful developer, do not support this.

[The Fake Shemp]

 

Multiplayer is bad, but if you bought or rented The Darkness for multiplayer you're probably as smart as demi. 

[demi]

I still have a day yet on my rental, what am I supposed to do!

[The Fake Shemp]

I'm going to start after all the achievements - I am not a master achiever such as yourself.

[demi]

My review

----

PRESENTATION: 7

Much like Riddick, it's a great SP experience, the story scenes stand out, but everything else is flat.

SOUND: 8

Sound is really nice, the rock music during action scenes is nice, and the serene music in the subways is good, yadda. Typical tripe. Explosions are loud, bullets are fierce, yadda. Mike Patton's voice is great, probably the only good voice in the entire game - and maybe the even the entire game period - everyone else is fake, or comes off forced.

VISUALS: 7

Very nice looking game, lots of bloom, OVERUSE of motion blur, makes things disorienting especially during gunfights. Character models look like hi-res Riddick, and move like marionnetes.

GAMEPLAY: 7

The Darkness powers are mostly useless, EXCEPT Creeping Dark. The guns are useless, aside from Pistols. Go from point A to point B, shoot bad guys, rinse and repeat. Subway hub system is meh, environments are a wasteland, though it is nighttime out so I'll let it slide. Side-Quests are distinguished mentally-challenged and useless. Lots of little niggling things break this down. Multiplayer is tacked on and BROKEN, if you aren't gonna try, don't do it at all. Oh, and dialing in to unlock stuff? Dumb. Lots of things just don't make sense in this game, at all, and often leaves you scratching your head. Why am I in call of duty hell?

LASTING APPEAL: 5

Rent it, beat it in a day, take it back. Collectables are lame, as they are in other games. Try online, get lagged out, don't touch it again.

ACHIEVEMENTS: 8

Single Player achievements are nice, easy to get, you can get a decent amount if you dedicate some time to it. Multiplayer ones are alright, but some are a slap to the face -- example: 5pts for capturing a flag, 5pts for capturing 20 flags. Does that make sense?

FINAL SCORE: 7

Comic nerds will get annoyed by the fact that they made a shame of this IP, with things told wrong, characters in the wrong situations and places. Definitely a good rental, at best. If you paid $60 for this you are a dummy. For being such a GREAT developer, Starbreeze really dropped the ball on this one. Maybe the remake of Riddick they're doing will put them back up on top.

[Yeti]

All these Darkness threads make me want to replay Chronicles of Riddick.

[y2kev]

Yeah, demi wins. Haven't beaten it, but so far I like the storytelling a lot, I think the graphics are nice, I think the sound is cool. I think the gunplay is pretty shitty and so far I spend more time futzing around summoning the little things and messing with demon arm that I'd rather just shoot them with my guns.

Eh. 7 is pretty close to what I'd give it. Maybe it picks up.

[demi]

Just use Creeping Dark from afar and take out all the enemies that way. Demon Arm is useless and only puts you in danger.

Play to the end, the end is really great, but you don't get to DO anything, it's all automated. People make up the excuse that -spoiler so i wont post it- but i think they're just REALLY reaching.

[demi]

Sucks to be Willco.

Advent Rising > The Darkness

[The Fake Shemp]

Not really, I don't rely on others to tell me what I enjoy! 

[Smooth Groove]

I'm going to give The Darkness a try since Riddick was one of my favs from last gen.  I need some info before I get the game since I've been unable to keep up with gaming news for the last 6 weeks.   Is there going to be a PC version?  Which console version is better? 

[demi]

not right now, though i'm sure one will appear, much like Riddick did

and get 360, because ps3 is for lames

[y2kev]

Ugh, I'm in hell right now. WTF. This is awful. Repetitive nothingness with boring enemies that I shoot now because they are there and I'm a badass.

The sidequests are embarrassingly stupid and the lack of any sort of hud is frustrating, not immersive. What's my level of darkness power? How much darkness am I absorbing? Why does 8 year old Jackie Estacado look like Al Pacino on a 5 year old's body?

I was expecting a crazy game filled with action set pieces, but so far the powers just aren't really working.

[demi]

You check Darkness Level by hitting select, then hitting right. Darkness Level is pretty useless, I beat the game on Hard at the middle point, and I wasnt even eating hearts unless I needed a quick regen of power.

The Call of Duty "hell" parts make zero sense. The Darkness says "this is my dream of you" and I'm like "why?" I don't recall Jackie having a WW2 fetish.

You should hit max Level by eating at least ~280 hearts, that's when I got it anyway. 300 hearts nets you another achievement.

[y2kev]

WWI demi.  But yeah the Hell level is some of the most ill designed and out of place crap in a game I have played. 

I don't get why the Darkness powers keep helping Jackie. they're like, noooo stop it. sttooooppp i control you. i can get you to do what i want...oh you're trying to kill me? eh okay i'll just keep bullshitting for a while.

[demi]

Yeah it's really weird, you have no problems doing stuff, but when you finally reach Jenny, The Darkness just THEN decides to stop you and you can't do anything about it?

Lots of things just didn't fit, I wouldn't know where to begin.