Imagine being Joe Biden, 78 running for President.
You think you can win this thing by campaigning but there's a pandemic going on. You're just dragged from camera to camera asked to appear on ZOOM(?) what even is ZOOM.
Your opponent rules the Twitter verse and goes 'viral' with some bullshit every day. Why can't you, you are worried that if you don't campaign you're going to lose this thing.
"Are these black folks really turning against us?" you ask a campaign nerd with a worry. "No sir, absolutely not, the data shows otherwise"
You reply: "Data? The same data that you used for Hillary fats, you lying dogfaced pony soldier?"
The campaign worker *sighs* "Nancy Pelosi knows this guy, a pretty smart kid that she met in a Vegas casino. You should talk to her if you want to do this another way but we ain't doing that"
You decide to meet up with Nancy: "How do you know this guy?" you ask her. "Oh, we just had a nice... meeting... yeah a meeting... *she blushes* he's a bit of a gambler but you'll like him. Funny little man he keeps changing his name for some reason."
"I would say he's a lot like James Bond, surprising in many different ways"
You meet up with this kid and he isn't intimated by meeting a former Vice President at all.
He sips from his mug and interrupts "Look old timer, I like you but out there you may as well be Dunning Kruger"
"Who?" you ask him.
"That's precisely your problem" he replies with a wink.
"But I thought the Russians were the problem", a silence falls in the room and then laughter.
"Ha, the Russians are clowns, the Dutch, the Dutch are your problems in 2020 my man. Those condescending arrogant ass hats. Look at this for a minute"
He plays a video of Rutger Bregman being interviewed by Tucker Carlson or rather the other way around, you've never seen anything like this.
"HOW IS THIS POSSIBLE? I've never seen Tucker like this... what witchery is this Jack?"
He leans forward and starts to whisper "Look, I know you've seen things with Hunter... but we're going beyond that. And out there my friend you are finished. The Dutch, Russians, 4chan, NeoGAF everyone wants a piece of 'ol Joe"
You know you shouldn't but the curiosity gets the better of you "But how? If everyone is against me, how can I possibly win?"
"Well it ain't exactly legal but do you know Hooters? I mean, there are tons of them spread out throughout Trumplandia and they all have workers and all those workers have voting rights and mailboxes.. enough to flip say Arizona or Michigan"
"That sounds interesting Jack and I like it a whole lot more than all these computers and liars but how are we going to pay for all that?" after all you have enough financial worries as it is.
"That's the best part Joe... the Dutch are going to pay for it
"