Pro Wrasslin' Thread: I don't know what I just saw

[nachobro]

he's fat

[bork]

he's fat

[bork]

R.I.P. Harley Race.

[nachobro]

Damn that sucks, RIP. Lung cancer

[bork]

PLOT TWIST!

The segment which closed SmackDown this past Tuesday has already been mocked for a variety of reasons. Ridiculously produced, badly acted, and the latest example of WWE promising something - Roman Reigns announcing his SummerSlam opponent - and not delivering. But at least the scene of a production rig falling on the Big Dog gave us a mystery! Right!?!?!?


Well, WWE launched an “investigation” into the incident, and if we take it at face value, the case is closed.

“In the final moments of this week’s SmackDown LIVE, Roman Reigns was intending to make a SummerSlam challenge from the backstage area, but The Big Dog just barely evaded sheer catastrophe when tons of steel beams came plummeting toward him.

A preliminary investigation has found the incident Tuesday night involving Roman Reigns was caused by a forklift backstage carrying lighting grids that were not properly secured.

Update to story - 10:40 a.m. ET

It has now been determined that the incident in question was specifically caused by a forklift driver error.”

"Interesting" way to write off a stupid segment...?

[Human Snorenado]

If only there was some guy in WWE that knew how to drive a forklift, we could narrow it down...

[TVC15]

https://twitter.com/jabronieramone/status/1157178780500148224

[nachobro]

Triplemania starts at 6 pacific on https://www.twitch.tv/luchalibreaaa if anyone wants to see lucha

* Astrolux, Dragon Bane, and Arkangel Divino vs. Aramis, Toxin, and Arez (Pre-Show)
* La Parka vs. Pagano vs. Puma King vs. Aero Star vs. Drago vs. Averno vs. Chessman vs. Super Fly vs. Electroshock vs. Monster Clown vs. Daga vs. TBA (Copa TripleMania)
* Blue Demon Jr. vs. Rey Wagner (Mask vs. Hair Match)
* Niño Hamburguesa and Big Mami (c) vs. Sammy Guevara and Scarlett Bordeaux vs. Villano III Jr. and Lady Maravilla vs. Australian Suicide and Vanilla (Four-Way for the AAA World Mixed Tag Team Championship)
* El Hijo del Vikingo, Myzteziz Jr., and Golden Magic vs. Mocho Cota Jr., Carta Brava Jr., and Tito Santana vs. Pimpinela Escarlata, Mamba, and Máximo
* Keyra (c) vs. Lady Shani vs. Taya vs. Tessa Blanchard vs. Faby Apache vs. Chik Tormenta vs. La Hiedra (TLC Match for the AAA Reina de Reinas Championship)
* Laredo Kid, Pentagón Jr., and Fénix vs. Kenny Omega and The Young Bucks

* Psycho Clown, Cody Rhodes, and Cain Velasquez vs. Texano Jr., Taurus, and a mystery opponent

[nachobro]

Nino Hamburguesa & Big Mami 

Scarlet's patoot

[Tripon]

https://www.wwe.com/shows/raw/article/samoa-joe-fined-pittsburgh-august-5?sf217020233=1

Samoa Joe has been fined an undisclosed amount by WWE due to his behavior earlier today at Pittsburgh International Airport.

When asked by a WWE producer if he was responsible for the forklift incident that nearly injured Roman Reigns this past Tuesday night on SmackDown LIVE, Joe responded aggressively and knocked the phone out of the producer’s hand.

 

[bork]

[nachobro]

 

[nachobro]

New Raw opening? And it's interrupted by Samoa Joe losing his shit on Cole about this Roman thing wtf

[nachobro]

Mike pinned Maria at the gynecologist (that was backstage at Raw for some reason) for the 24/7 title and lost it to R-Truth in the waiting room

[Tripon]

Vince McMahon with the old school racism. The fuck is a pepper belly.

[nachobro]

The Nugenix commercials have been replaced with some kind of weird religious cult

[dkdk]

Goldberg....vs Dolph Ziggler


what the fuck

[Human Snorenado]

My IIconics got done dirty



It's ok Peyton, you'll always be champ of my heart

[Trent Dole]

Woulda liked the Kabuki Warriors to get the titles since they like, actually know how to wrestle, but neither of them are blonde so I knew they wouldn't.

[nachobro]

Goldberg....vs Dolph Ziggler


what the fuck

Dave was right :'( Maybe we'll get lucky and Goldberg will fuck up and injure them both so they go away for a while. On the plus side this means Roman vs DBryan which should be pretty good.

Rey vs Andrade was a fantastic match. A must watch imo.

[bork]

My IIconics got done dirty



It's ok Peyton, you'll always be champ of my heart

The women's tag scene has been an embarrassment- the Iiconics were barely even used after getting the titles.   

[bork]

On the plus side this means Roman vs DBryan which should be pretty good.

With that dumb-ass build-up- "Roman was hit...by a forklift driver."  "NO WAIT IT WAS A SET-UP!  WHO WAS DRIVING IT?!?!"  "HERE'S INTERVIEWS ON WWE.COM AND SHIT WE'LL THEN SET UP THE MATCH ON THE GO-HOME SHOW SO THERE'S ZERO BUILD-UP JUST LIKE GOLDBERG/ZIGGLER YEAH!!!!"

[nachobro]

https://twitter.com/WWE/status/1158615008311312384

Maybe we'll get Dbryan/Rowen vs The Samoan Joes

[Tripon]

https://twitter.com/bte_club/status/1158772161353519104

Agganis Arena is a 7,200-seat multi-purpose arena in Boston, Massachusetts, United States, on the campus of Boston University, built on the location of the former Commonwealth Armory.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Agganis_Arena

The Liacouras Center[3] is a 10,200-seat multi-purpose venue which opened in 1997 and was originally named "The Apollo of Temple". The arena was renamed in 2000 for Temple University President, Peter J. Liacouras.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Liacouras_Center


Picking college towns is probably the smartest pick right now.

[bork]

I'm so confused about so many WWE things right now


What the fuck is this forklift angle with Roman? The associated tweets to push it along are so random and weird. The way it was shot/edited was so bad and weird and stupid I wasn't even sure what it was I was watching.

LMAO if this seriously leads to a sudden MOA JOE face-turn and team with Roman. 

Why is Goldberg having a match with Dog Ziggler?

 
But is this really going to get people to go to or order the PPV/network to see Oldberg (again), especially with less than a week of hype?  I bet that match is 1-2 minutes long, max.

They had the IIconics win the tag titles at WRESTLEMANIA, and in the 4 months they've had the titles, they've had 3 defenses before dropping the titles in a random four way match?

Makes no sense.  Maybe Vince got bored of the belts or something.

Speaking of useless tag shit, what is up with the Viking Raiders?  Every week they just do a squash. 

Do they even pretend there's a roster split anymore? Looking at the results it looks like it was almost entirely Smackdown talent(New Day, Kabookey Warriors, IIconics, Mandy/Sonya, Rey, Andrade, Joe, Roman, Dog Ziggler, Charlotte).

Word is now that the brand split will be back in full force once Smackdown moves to Fox.

[Trent Dole]

Every Boston show I've been to the crowd has been pretty rabid. They will probably lose their shit the entire time for an AEW event.

[Sideshow Raheem]

Does this mean we're not getting the Iiconics doing the illness of the week bit anymore?

[nachobro]

We getting the Samoan Joes

[bork]

We getting the Samoan Joes

Are we?  SD ended with "IT WAS ROWAN" and Daniel Bryan just looking at him.


Five fucking hours of TV time this week and they still couldn't get the match set up before SD ended.

[Human Snorenado]

Can't someone just give him some action figures and a toy ring and tell him it's Smackdown so the rest of us don't have to suffer through his senility?

[bork]

More on SD:

Bryan Alvarez noted yesterday that Vince McMahon once again tore up the script for SmackDown late in the day and rewrote the show.

Along those same lines, Ryan Satin says he heard Eric Bischoff still hasn’t had much influence on creative since starting work.

According to the Observer, the idea is now that Daniel Bryan is a heel that even the other heels dislike. That’s part of the story they’re telling with the Roman Reigns attacks.

There are people in power who are behind Andrade, says Dave Meltzer on Wrestling Observer Radio, and they may be starting up trying to do something with him now.

A mask vs. hair match against Rey Mysterio, by the way, likely won’t happen, apparently because they don’t want Andrade cutting his hair and Mysterio can’t lose his mask.

[bork]

[Trent Dole]

WWE is such a fucking mess.

[bork]

So they STILL have no idea what the hell they're doing with this Roman angle? 

The ending reveal by Buddy Murphy that Rowan was the person behind (one? both?) attacks on Reigns “may not be 100% set in stone as other ideas have been pitched.”

Bryan’s “career-altering announcement” appears to have been dropped completely, as no one mentioned it backstage last night. WWE could always decide to work it back into this or a different storyline, however.

A casualty of the overall changes appears to be the match between Roman & DB which was planned for SummerSlam. That will now “likely be dropped in order to let the current storyline play out.”

[Sideshow Raheem]

Hulk Hogan did the Stone Cold podcast. Hogan claimed he almost died receiving stem cells in Mexico. It's pretty interesting, although hardly comprehensive. And it certainly doesn't touch on Hogan's sex tape or slurs.

https://www.podcastone.com/episode/Immortal-Hulk-Hogan

[nachobro]

That would be a bummer cause Roman already beat that dude til he cried on Smackdown

[bork]

Vince must have remembered that Buddy is on the roster.

[nachobro]

What the fuck is going on with smackdown

After finding out Joey Samoey wasn't at fault for the accidents, Roman got word Buddy was responsible. This lead to a segment where Roman kicked everyone out of the locker room except Buddy and then yelled at Buddy who said he didn't do shit and if he knew who it was he wouldn't tell Roman. Roman then threw him around the locker room for a few mins and Buddy said it was Rowan.

This was all broadcast on the Titantron and Smackdown ended with a shot of Bryan and Rowan (who just finished a match with New Day) from behind watching it the screen. No real resolution or dialogue or anything.

[bork]

What the fuck is going on with smackdown

After finding out Joey Samoey wasn't at fault for the accidents, Roman got word Buddy was responsible. This lead to a segment where Roman kicked everyone out of the locker room except Buddy and then yelled at Buddy who said he didn't do shit and if he knew who it was he wouldn't tell Roman. Roman then threw him around the locker room for a few mins and Buddy said it was Rowan.

This was all broadcast on the Titantron and Smackdown ended with a shot of Bryan and Rowan (who just finished a match with New Day) from behind watching it the screen. No real resolution or dialogue or anything.

Instead we got the above video as the aftermath. NO TIME IN TWO HOURS FOR THIS SHIT!!!!



In fact I think there were several videos/"news reports"/tweets/whatever from WWE all about this angle over the past week.  None of it made to TV. 

[bork]

In an interview, Trish says Sunday is her last match ever.

Then she apparently said "wrestling is a 'never say never' business."

[bork]

U SCURRED NOW, VINCE?!

[Human Snorenado]

I would just like to take this opportunity to remind everyone that as recently as within the past year and a half people have offered up the opinion that Vince McMahon is NOT in fact a senile old lunatic, just sayin

[nachobro]

Vince must just have a hard on for Rowan. It's kinda funny when Cole/Graves/Philips have called him "a big redwood" or "Big Red" about 500 times now. That must be what Vince thought of on the spot and now insists he be called that at every opportunity.

[bork]

Why the fuck is he wearing a crooked Warner Brothers hat for this

IT'S UNSCRIPTED

ANYTHING CAN HAPPEN

LIKE HATS

U DIDN'T SEE THAT COMING

[Human Snorenado]

Takeover card for this Saturday is stacked brehs

Gargano vs Cole, 2/3 falls for the NXT championship (1 fall is an "old school wrestling match," one is a street fight, Regal gets to pick the last one if it goes to 3 falls)
Velveteen Dream vs Pete Dunne vs Roderick Strong for the NA championship
Shayna Baszler vs Mia Yim for the NXT women's championship
Street Prophets vs Undisputed Era's O'reilly Autoparts and Laurence Fishburne Jr for the NXT tag team championship
Candice Larae vs EVIL IO SHIRAI

The Candice vs Io and triple threat matches will probably be some of the best matches of the year; the match Matt Riddle had vs Roddy last takeover was low key one of the best matches of the year.

Also- if the 3rd fall of the championship match isn't a Duchess of Queensbury Rules match wtf are we even doing, Regal???

[nachobro]

Dunne/Walter at Takeover NY might be my moty, or at least the one i've rewatched the most

[Human Snorenado]

Stro seriously in here casting aspersions on the ability of JOEY RYAN'S former mixed tag partner???

[nachobro]

No Andrade

[Human Snorenado]

It was always going to have KO vs Shane, that's been building for a while

The other two wtf matches (Charlotte vs Trish and Goldberg vs Ziggles) are almost certainly a byproduct of someone saying "hey this show doesn't seem special enough let's get some legends on it or whatever" and remembering that Trish lives in Toronto, Charlotte had no program going at the moment, and that Goldberg has a sad after everyone in the world (justifiably) shitting on his Saudi match with Taker. Also that they can feed him Ziggler because nothing Ziggler does matters, he exists to lose and put people over and take bumps, all of which are essential characteristics for Goldberg opponents to have, especially in this blighted year of our lord, 2019.

[Human Snorenado]

No Andrade

I "watch" RAW and SD on the hulu replays the next day while I'm working on my 2nd monitor- my job is slow as fuck and boring so having it on while I'm working is fine, and I get hulu for free with my spotify subscription, so wheeee. Mostly it's just background noise. Anyway, they show the entire SD show on the replay, but Raw is always edited down to 90 minutes and they always, always take the best match out of it because who would want to watch that? So, I didn't see the Andrade vs Rey match from this week. Fun times.

[nachobro]

it's very strange that there isn't a tag match at all, titles or not. i assume they'll just throw a random one on the two hour preshow

[Human Snorenado]

I think the Women's tag title match that happened on RAW this week was originally supposed to be on Summerslam too and got pushed up, so chalk up another one.

Really, I'm fine with not every title being on every ppv- someone realized that if they're doing dual branded ppvs they can't feasibly do that and fit in other wrestlers/feuds unless they run a bunch of triple threats, ladder matches, whatevers. But the titles excluded from this show (IC, all the tag titles) have been shit on hardcore this year. So it stands out.

[Trent Dole]

They've probably actually have had plans for him it's just that whatever the plans for the shows are has been changing repeatedly the day of so nobody knows what's actually going to happen.

[Human Snorenado]

[Human Snorenado]

Per the Wrestling Observer Newsletter, there have been many changes made to the SummerSlam card over the past week, with much of it playing out on Raw and SmackDown.

That includes Paul Heyman apparently making the decision to do the women’s tag team title change on Raw, and a Sami Zayn vs. Aleister Black moving up.

There could be further changes coming to the SummerSlam card and, in fact, the Observer notes those changes are “likely.”

[bork]

Haven't finished it yet (need to watch the last two matches) and that write-up is not making me want to.   

Is Summerslam going to be another five hour mess extravaganza?

[Human Snorenado]

I love Gargano, but he really, really loves just throwing the kitchen sink into his matches- everything has to escalate and be bigger than before. I still think the best match in this run was the one on one vs Andrade from before last year's Royal Rumble I think, it was just a regular ass match. Sadly Cole and Gargano, as much as I love them, are true exemplars of the ROH indie wanker spotfest mentality that just takes shit too far to where it becomes dumb.

Tag match was good, Io vs Candice was great (don't listen to Stro) and the triple threat was pretty good. I loved Shayna vs Mia but if you don't like Shayna you're not gonna like it, so whatever. The first half or so of the main event was good but it ended up being unforgivably stupid in the pursuit of like 9 Meltzers or whatever it is Cole and Johnny are doing.

[bork]

Summerslam pre-show stuff.  The Edge spot should have been on the PPV.

We see AJ Styles, Luke Gallows and Karl Anderson approach Finn Balor backstage and start hassling him. They say this is The OC's world, and AJ is going to finish off Ricochet for good tonight. AJ says he's been getting good luck wishes all week, but Finn is the one who might need good luck tonight. Finn says he's not going to play Bray Wyatt's mind games. AJ says it would be a shame if Wyatt did to Balor what he did to Mick Foley and Kurt Angle. AJ says Balor should give them the word if he needs any help during his match.

Oney Lorcan vs. Drew Gulak (c): Gulak's Cruiserweight Title is on the line in this one. Gulak connects with a leaping knee to Oney's face right off the opening bell. Gulak wrestles Oney down to the mat, and the two men trade holds now until they get up to their feet and have a stare down. Oney fires up with a series of chops to the chest, but Gulak is able to take him down again and regain control of the pace. Lorcan comes back with a running blockbuster for a two count, and Gulak rolls out to ringside for a breather. Lorcan follows him out and nails the Champion with some stiff chops to the chest. Back in the ring, Gulak grabs Lorcan and applies his modified dragon sleeper, but Lorcan reaches the ropes to break the hold. They brawl back and forth in the ring now, and Lorcan grabs Gulak by the beard or face and starts slapping him. Lorcan hits a series of running elbow strikes, and the Champion is down. Gulak pulls on the ring apron, and when the ref goes to fix it, Gulak hits a shot to the throat of Lorcan. This leads to Gulak hitting the Cyclone Crash for the three count.

Winner & still Cruiserweight Champion: Drew Gulak

Apollo Crews vs. Buddy Murphy: We're told this is Buddy Murphy's first match as an official member of the SmackDown Live roster. The opening bell sounds and Murphy immediately starts off with a running knee to the face of Crews for a two count. Murphy follows up by stomping on Crews in the corner. Crews fights up and they run the ropes, and they collide in mid-air and both men are down. Crews is up first and hits an enziguri on Murphy, then he follows up with more strikes. More kicks from Crews, then he misses a shot and Murphy fires back with a kick of his own. Murphy looks for a flying cross body off the turnbuckle, but Crews catches him and hits a Samoan drop. Crews follows up with a standing moonsault for a two count. Murphy and Crews fight in the corner, and Murphy gets the upper hand with some kicks. Murphy follows up with a running powerbomb for a two count. They fight out to ringside, and Murphy throws Crews into the steel steps. Murphy gets in the ring and comes flying back out with a suicide Swanton Bomb on Crews on the ringside floor. Murphy throws Crews in the ring, but before Murphy himself can get back in, Rowan comes out of nowhere and attacks Murphy. Rowan beats down Murphy at ringside and the ref calls for the bell.

Winner via DQ: Buddy Murphy

Rowan continues to beat down Murphy, and he powerbombs Murphy into the ring post. Rowan yells at Murphy to keep his name out of his mouth. The screen cuts to backstage and we see Daniel Bryan watching on a monitor.

Elias comes out to the ring for a song and starts trashing Toronto. WWE Hall of Famer Edge comes out to interrupt. Edge gets in the ring and hits the spear on Elias. Edge heads to the back and poses on the stage for his hometown fans.

Alexa Bliss & Nikki Cross (c) vs. The Iconics: The Women's Tag Titles are on the line in this one. Nikki starts off strong against Billie, and then Nikki tags in for the double team. Billie turns things around, then tags in Peyton for the double team. Peyton works on keeping Nikki grounded now, and throws her down by the hair. Peyton and Billie trade frequent tags now to continue the offense on Nikki. Nikki finally fights back, and Nikki and Peyton both take each other down by the hair at the same time. Alexa and Billie tag in, and Alexa cleans house. Alexa wastes some time taunting Peyton, which leads to Billie booting her in the face. Nikki breaks up the pin attempt. Peyton tags in, but Alexa fights off the double team, and Nikki takes out Billie. PEyton misses a kick, but she connects with a backbreaker for a two count. Peyton wastes some time throwing a temper tantrum, and Alexa drops her. Alexa follows up with the Twisted Bliss for the three count.

Winners & still Women's Tag Team Champions: Nikki Cross & Alexa Bliss

[bork]

Good lord, Trish's big fake knockers are the size of her head.

I didn't know Edge was allowed to do anything physical at all

Was hard to tell from the camera angle, but am guessing he ran at Elias and then Elias did all the work.

[bork]

Trish is only 43, yet looks like she's in the her 50s because of all the plastic/botox shit she's done to her face.