THE BORE

General => The Superdeep Borehole => Topic started by: Ichirou on January 05, 2008, 12:38:12 AM

Title: Monsters and Madmen: A Miles Trahan Joint, presented by BK Beast Films
Post by: Ichirou on January 05, 2008, 12:38:12 AM
Shake wrote an action film!

Its title is "MONSTERS AND MADMEN."  Its protagonist is gritty hitman JACK TRENTON, "a clean-cut,square-jawed Caucasian male in a worn-in trench coat."  His first target is a corrupt fatty named Jasper (how clever of Shake to give himself a cameo in his very own film!).  He sneaks into a hotel and proceeds to blow Jasper away (the first of a number of graphically described BOOM! HEAD SHOTS, which make me fear that our young Miles is heading into Virginia Tech territory), only to find his own ex-girlfriend sleeping in Jasper's bed OMG WTF!!! No time for love, Mr. Trenton! Suddenly a sniper attacks Jack!!!!!

FLASH FORWARD THREE YEARS...

Now Jack Trenton is an alcoholic.  Sort of like Jean-Claude Van Damme when we flash-forward in TimeCop.  He is called back into action when something very, very bad happens to his girlfriend...the adventure begins!

I don't want to spoil the rest of this thrilling picture, folks.  The cliched, brainless dialogue, the copious amounts of violence, the gritty pseudo-noir via Sin City feel...it all screams "ANGRY TEENAGER THINKS ACTION IS KEWL."

http://www.simplyscripts.com/scripts/MONSTERSANDMADMEN.pdf

Seriously, folks...Miles Trahan has outdone himself this time.  This is PURE ADRENALINE ACTION SATISFACTION.  Open any page at random and we have:

Jack Trenton beating the shit out of some dude.

Jack Trenton blowing some dude's head away.

Jack Trenton being emo because his ex-girlfriend died.

Jack Trenton looking for THE MYSTERIOUS MOBSTER NAMED GOOOOLDDDDD

Jack Trenton blowing another dude's head away.

Jack Trenton fighting some other dudes.

Jack Trenton blowing Mysterious Evil Jew Goldstein away.

And fellas, you will not BELIEVE the third act plot twist...

...where it turns out that the guy who has been following Jack Trenton around from the beginning of the movie is like Jack Trenton's conscience or some shit, and JACK TRENTON SUICIDES WITH GUN TO THE HEAD!!!!

TRULY EPIC
Title: Re: Monsters and Madmen: A Miles Trahan Joint, presented by BK Beast Films
Post by: Robo on January 05, 2008, 01:23:39 AM
this belongs in the "dumb things you wrote as a teenager" thread.
Title: Re: Monsters and Madmen: A Miles Trahan Joint, presented by BK Beast Films
Post by: TVC15 on January 05, 2008, 01:31:03 AM
I read like 3 pages and it was just too much action for me.  It was like there was warm maple syrup coursing through my veins, like I was either Miles Trahan himself, or some kind of human McGriddle.
Title: Re: Monsters and Madmen: A Miles Trahan Joint, presented by BK Beast Films
Post by: Joe Molotov on January 05, 2008, 01:31:24 AM
He wrote a movie about the CEO of Sony?
Title: Re: Monsters and Madmen: A Miles Trahan Joint, presented by BK Beast Films
Post by: Van Cruncheon on January 05, 2008, 01:58:02 AM
oh god, this is unreadable
Title: Re: Monsters and Madmen: A Miles Trahan Joint, presented by BK Beast Films
Post by: TVC15 on January 05, 2008, 02:41:03 AM
It really does feel like What I Would Film If I Were 16:  The Movie
Title: Re: Monsters and Madmen: A Miles Trahan Joint, presented by BK Beast Films
Post by: Ichirou on January 05, 2008, 02:48:10 AM
It's kind of creepy how EVERY TIME he writes about someone getting shot in the head, he mentions the "bits of skull and brain matter" splattered everywhere.  And people get shot in the head A LOT in this script (I couldn't make myself read all of it.  I read like the first five pages and then the last two and about four people get shot in the head in that span of time).
Title: Re: Monsters and Madmen: A Miles Trahan Joint, presented by BK Beast Films
Post by: Himu on January 05, 2008, 02:51:28 AM
maybe he can get this made? I mean, that one kid was sucessful with Eragon, so there's definitely a market for crappy teenager stories.
Title: Re: Monsters and Madmen: A Miles Trahan Joint, presented by BK Beast Films
Post by: Phoenix Dark on January 05, 2008, 02:53:49 AM
Until Willco reveals his own script I hereby crown Shake the Master SAGster
Title: Re: Monsters and Madmen: A Miles Trahan Joint, presented by BK Beast Films
Post by: Ichirou on January 05, 2008, 02:54:21 AM
Have you tried reading it?  This is a violent teenage power fantasy, pulled from half-remembered bits of Tarantino and Steven Seagal movies.  Maybe Miles can show the script to his folks and they'll be so proud of their boy that they'll publish it like the Eragon kid's parents did.  Or maybe they'll put him in counseling so they can figure out where his fetish for people getting shot in the head comes from.

BTW, the official BK Beast rating for There Will Be Blood: 9.5/10.
Title: Re: Monsters and Madmen: A Miles Trahan Joint, presented by BK Beast Films
Post by: Himu on January 05, 2008, 02:57:33 AM
Is There Will Be Blood good or is it all just hype
Title: Re: Monsters and Madmen: A Miles Trahan Joint, presented by BK Beast Films
Post by: Ichirou on January 05, 2008, 02:58:41 AM
Well, Miles Trahan, author of the action-packed script MONSTERS AND MADMEN, gives it a 9.5.  And isn't that all you really need to know?
Title: Re: Monsters and Madmen: A Miles Trahan Joint, presented by BK Beast Films
Post by: Robo on January 05, 2008, 02:59:53 AM
Fortunately for everyone, it isn't.
Title: Re: Monsters and Madmen: A Miles Trahan Joint, presented by BK Beast Films
Post by: TVC15 on January 05, 2008, 03:00:50 AM
Is There Will Be Blood good or is it all just hype

You could check it out, soon.  I hears that we should be seeing a DVD rip relatively soon.
Title: Re: Monsters and Madmen: A Miles Trahan Joint, presented by BK Beast Films
Post by: Ichirou on January 05, 2008, 03:02:59 AM
Hahahaha, I just went to a random page on the Monsters and Madmen PDF and JEWISH MOBSTER GOLDSTEIN just beat the shit outta some mug because he was "out getting a piece of tail instead of paying attention to the heist" or something.  Oh man, he's ripping off The Untouchables but substituting the bat with the butt of a pistol.  And of course, shittons of blood in the scene, including "skull and brain matter" left on the table where the mug gets his beating.

Wow, Shake.  Just...WOW.

And then the next scene is Jack Trenton visiting a strip joint to see an old flame.  Of course.
Title: Re: Monsters and Madmen: A Miles Trahan Joint, presented by BK Beast Films
Post by: Van Cruncheon on January 05, 2008, 03:03:49 AM
i read about a third of it before the running tally of cliches in my brain threw an integer out of range exception

still, he's what, seventeen? at least he gets the format and the basic grammar right. ten years from now, with some life experience, he might be able to write the next jet li/dmx collaboration.
Title: Re: Monsters and Madmen: A Miles Trahan Joint, presented by BK Beast Films
Post by: Ichirou on January 05, 2008, 03:07:21 AM
It really is one of the most unoriginal things to ever be shat into existence.  Every line of dialogue, every beat, every scene feels like it's been cribbed from straight-to-DVD action movies.
Title: Re: Monsters and Madmen: A Miles Trahan Joint, presented by BK Beast Films
Post by: Van Cruncheon on January 05, 2008, 03:09:18 AM
like i said, if he's 17, he ain't gonna be writing anything even approximating mediocre. my dislike for the pompous salesmanship of his juvenile opinions aside, it ain't bad FOR THE AVERAGE 17 YEAR OLD TEENPRAT. do we really expect a dumb, sheltered teen to knock out the next goodfellas?

on the other hand, he probably shoulda just kept the script to himself.
Title: Re: Monsters and Madmen: A Miles Trahan Joint, presented by BK Beast Films
Post by: Ichirou on January 05, 2008, 03:10:07 AM
http://www.simplyscripts.net/cgi-bin/Blah/Blah.pl?b-action/m-1196204389/  Shake is already annoying the people on the board he posted the script in. :lol
Title: Re: Monsters and Madmen: A Miles Trahan Joint, presented by BK Beast Films
Post by: Himu on January 05, 2008, 03:11:06 AM
where did you find this
Title: Re: Monsters and Madmen: A Miles Trahan Joint, presented by BK Beast Films
Post by: TVC15 on January 05, 2008, 03:11:35 AM
So what are the chances that upon going into film school, the vast majority of the students are Shake-like idiots that just want to make carbon copies of the garbage of recent years?
Title: Re: Monsters and Madmen: A Miles Trahan Joint, presented by BK Beast Films
Post by: Himu on January 05, 2008, 03:12:10 AM
TVC: look at FoC. That's all the proof you need.
Title: Re: Monsters and Madmen: A Miles Trahan Joint, presented by BK Beast Films
Post by: Ichirou on January 05, 2008, 03:12:48 AM
where did you find this

Someone gave me the link.
Title: Re: Monsters and Madmen: A Miles Trahan Joint, presented by BK Beast Films
Post by: Van Cruncheon on January 05, 2008, 03:13:15 AM
So what are the chances that upon going into film school, the vast majority of the students are Shake-like idiots that just want to make carbon copies of the garbage of recent years?

100%
Title: Re: Monsters and Madmen: A Miles Trahan Joint, presented by BK Beast Films
Post by: Van Cruncheon on January 05, 2008, 03:14:54 AM
also, cgi-bin? Perl CGI? is that site BEGGING to get hacked? hey simplyscripts: 1997 called and it wanted its HTTP gateway script technology back.
Title: Re: Monsters and Madmen: A Miles Trahan Joint, presented by BK Beast Films
Post by: demi on January 05, 2008, 03:15:08 AM
like i said, if he's 17, he ain't gonna be writing anything even approximating mediocre. my dislike for the pompous salesmanship of his juvenile opinions aside, it ain't bad FOR THE AVERAGE 17 YEAR OLD TEENPRAT. do we really expect a dumb, sheltered teen to knock out the next goodfellas?

on the other hand, he probably shoulda just kept the script to himself.

i expect him to make the next ERAGON
Title: Re: Monsters and Madmen: A Miles Trahan Joint, presented by BK Beast Films
Post by: Ichirou on January 05, 2008, 03:15:23 AM
Who's more likely to make it in Hollywood - Shake, Willco, or FoC?
Title: Re: Monsters and Madmen: A Miles Trahan Joint, presented by BK Beast Films
Post by: Himu on January 05, 2008, 03:15:41 AM
i haven't seen cgi-bin in yeaaars
Title: Re: Monsters and Madmen: A Miles Trahan Joint, presented by BK Beast Films
Post by: Van Cruncheon on January 05, 2008, 03:17:36 AM
willco. willco knows what level he's at and doesn't pretend to be above it. shake thinks he's special, and foc is just too fuckin' illiterate. willco is capable of writing snappy dialogue, even if it is in the context of a sexy exchange between optimus prime and aquaman.
Title: Re: Monsters and Madmen: A Miles Trahan Joint, presented by BK Beast Films
Post by: Phoenix Dark on January 05, 2008, 03:18:17 AM
A bright, new-like Cadillac...

I've never witnessed such descriptive prose. Clearly Shake is a Rowling among boys :bow
Title: Re: Monsters and Madmen: A Miles Trahan Joint, presented by BK Beast Films
Post by: Ichirou on January 05, 2008, 03:19:19 AM
PD, wait till you get to the scenes where people get their heads blown off.  You can tell those are the parts that made Shake horny.

EDIT: FoC reminds me of a young Michael Bay, tho.  If you read Michael Bay's infrequent posts on his website, you can tell he's sort of borderline distinguished mentally-challenged too.  Shake is Next-Gen Tarantino, except Tarantino ripped off semi-obscure shit and Shake seems to have ripped off the most generic action movies he could find.
Title: Re: Monsters and Madmen: A Miles Trahan Joint, presented by BK Beast Films
Post by: TVC15 on January 05, 2008, 03:21:46 AM
Who's more likely to make it in Hollywood - Shake, Willco, or FoC?

I predict my new wave of german expressionistic-inspired pornography will be bigger than ANYTHING they do.
Title: Re: Monsters and Madmen: A Miles Trahan Joint, presented by BK Beast Films
Post by: Himu on January 05, 2008, 03:22:01 AM
So does anyone eat a burger in this movie?
Title: Re: Monsters and Madmen: A Miles Trahan Joint, presented by BK Beast Films
Post by: Ichirou on January 05, 2008, 03:22:49 AM
I can't make myself read the whole thing to find out. :(
Title: Re: Monsters and Madmen: A Miles Trahan Joint, presented by BK Beast Films
Post by: Himu on January 05, 2008, 03:23:21 AM
can you not ctrl +f -> "burger"?
Title: Re: Monsters and Madmen: A Miles Trahan Joint, presented by BK Beast Films
Post by: Ichirou on January 05, 2008, 03:25:03 AM
can you not ctrl +f -> "burger"?

Yeah, but what if he types "whopper" instead? :o
Title: Re: Monsters and Madmen: A Miles Trahan Joint, presented by BK Beast Films
Post by: Himu on January 05, 2008, 03:26:21 AM
mcgriddle
Title: Re: Monsters and Madmen: A Miles Trahan Joint, presented by BK Beast Films
Post by: Phoenix Dark on January 05, 2008, 03:27:57 AM
Gold? Who the hell is Gold?

Oh, I think we all know  :shh
Title: Re: Monsters and Madmen: A Miles Trahan Joint, presented by BK Beast Films
Post by: Ichirou on January 05, 2008, 03:29:34 AM
Am I the only one who thought "hmm, mysterious evil Jew out to get noble hero Jack Trenton...it MUST BE WILLCO!!!!"  Shake is taking his persecution complex into the cinema.  He is a true auteur.
Title: Re: Monsters and Madmen: A Miles Trahan Joint, presented by BK Beast Films
Post by: Phoenix Dark on January 05, 2008, 03:32:51 AM
Why am I not surprised at your simple nature, Ichi? The metaphor is one of the many tools in the writer's Bat Belt, but certainly not the most complex. Clearly the main antagonist is modeled after Ron Paul
Title: Re: Monsters and Madmen: A Miles Trahan Joint, presented by BK Beast Films
Post by: Himu on January 05, 2008, 03:33:37 AM
Gold? Who the hell is Gold?

Oh, I think we all know  :shh

WHAT IS A MAN?!!!?
Title: Re: Monsters and Madmen: A Miles Trahan Joint, presented by BK Beast Films
Post by: Van Cruncheon on January 05, 2008, 03:34:24 AM
we all know from shakespeare 101 that the jews consider flesh a sort of currency, measured in pounds. shake knows he is a windfall for willco's people!
Title: Re: Monsters and Madmen: A Miles Trahan Joint, presented by BK Beast Films
Post by: Ichirou on January 05, 2008, 03:35:57 AM
Why am I not surprised at your simple nature, Ichi? The metaphor is one of the many tools in the writer's Bat Belt, but certainly not the most complex. Clearly the main antagonist is modeled after Ron Paul

I don't think Shake even knows who Ron Paul is.
Title: Re: Monsters and Madmen: A Miles Trahan Joint, presented by BK Beast Films
Post by: Van Cruncheon on January 05, 2008, 03:37:01 AM
he certainly knows who ron mcdonald and ron howard are!
Title: Re: Monsters and Madmen: A Miles Trahan Joint, presented by BK Beast Films
Post by: Phoenix Dark on January 05, 2008, 03:38:21 AM
It reads like a 24 episode so far

DAMN IT

Title: Re: Monsters and Madmen: A Miles Trahan Joint, presented by BK Beast Films
Post by: brawndolicious on January 05, 2008, 03:38:33 AM
Jesus shake, you need to calm down and respect movies for what they can teach you.  just put down the shotgun.
Title: Re: Monsters and Madmen: A Miles Trahan Joint, presented by BK Beast Films
Post by: Ichirou on January 05, 2008, 03:39:32 AM
It reads like a 24 episode so far

DAMN IT



I can't believe you're actually slogging through it, PD.
Title: Re: Monsters and Madmen: A Miles Trahan Joint, presented by BK Beast Films
Post by: Vizzys on January 05, 2008, 03:39:33 AM
I read like 3 pages and it was just too much action for me.  It was like there was warm maple syrup coursing through my veins, like I was either Miles Trahan himself, or some kind of human McGriddle.

this post made me lol more than normal posts do
Title: Re: Monsters and Madmen: A Miles Trahan Joint, presented by BK Beast Films
Post by: Joe Molotov on January 05, 2008, 03:44:40 AM
Am I the only one who thought "hmm, mysterious evil Jew out to get noble hero Jack Trenton...it MUST BE WILLCO!!!!"  Shake is taking his persecution complex into the cinema.  He is a true auteur.

No, you're not doing it right!

ICHIROU
I read the script. It's foul odor still hung heavy on my mind like the morning fog over the city. Was it just me? Was I the only one who made the connection?

He scratches his stubbly beard, and looks out over the balcony across the gothic cityscape spread before him. A police siren sounds in the distance.

ICHIROU (CONT'D)
A mysterious Jew is out to get noble hero Jack Trenton. It can't be possible. But yet...
BEAT
...it must be. All the pieces fall into place. It must be Wilco. Shake is taking his persecution complex into the cinema. Fucking prick, he's in over his head and he knows it. Way over his head. It wouldn't surprise me to find him with his brain splattered all over the wall of his dingy, roach-trap of an apartment by tomorrow morning. I respect him though.

Takes a long drag of his cigarette before letting the smoke slowly slip out his lips. He lets out a long sigh.

ICHIROU (CONT'D)
He is a true fucking auteur. Just like Gloria was.
Title: Re: Monsters and Madmen: A Miles Trahan Joint, presented by BK Beast Films
Post by: Phoenix Dark on January 05, 2008, 03:45:23 AM
"We were friends - sometimes more than that, sometimes less. But we were always close"

"I take it you two were involved, then?"


I'm not a big expert although I do have my qualifications; I always say the best strategy is always to think of your audience. What better way to ensure their satisfaction than ensure every detail is described as much as possible? They payed to watch a movie, not think :bow
Title: Re: Monsters and Madmen: A Miles Trahan Joint, presented by BK Beast Films
Post by: Ichirou on January 05, 2008, 03:45:48 AM
omg Joe that was beautiful :rofl
Title: Re: Monsters and Madmen: A Miles Trahan Joint, presented by BK Beast Films
Post by: TVC15 on January 05, 2008, 04:15:27 AM
"We were friends - sometimes more than that, sometimes less. But we were always close"

"I take it you two were involved, then?"


I'm not a big expert although I do have my qualifications; I always say the best strategy is always to think of your audience. What better way to ensure their satisfaction than ensure every detail is described as much as possible? They payed to watch a movie, not think :bow

This simultaneously explains why you think 2001 and Blade Runner are average and why you'll always have trouble appreciating art.
Title: Re: Monsters and Madmen: A Miles Trahan Joint, presented by BK Beast Films
Post by: MrAngryFace on January 05, 2008, 04:18:28 AM
"payed" -- Phoenix Dark
Title: Re: Monsters and Madmen: A Miles Trahan Joint, presented by BK Beast Films
Post by: CajoleJuice on January 05, 2008, 04:21:35 AM
:lol
Title: Re: Monsters and Madmen: A Miles Trahan Joint, presented by BK Beast Films
Post by: Phoenix Dark on January 05, 2008, 04:25:10 AM
"We were friends - sometimes more than that, sometimes less. But we were always close"

"I take it you two were involved, then?"


I'm not a big expert although I do have my qualifications; I always say the best strategy is always to think of your audience. What better way to ensure their satisfaction than ensure every detail is described as much as possible? They payed to watch a movie, not think :bow

This simultaneously explains why you think 2001 and Blade Runner are average and why you'll always have trouble appreciating art.

Aw come on, why are you failing to see the FUNNY.

Title: Re: Monsters and Madmen: A Miles Trahan Joint, presented by BK Beast Films
Post by: Fresh Prince on January 05, 2008, 04:39:24 AM
A bright, new-like Cadillac...

I've never witnessed such descriptive prose. Clearly Shake is a Rowling among boys :bow
The irony in this failed.  Rowling is at the best of times an above average author. 
Title: Re: Monsters and Madmen: A Miles Trahan Joint, presented by BK Beast Films
Post by: Phoenix Dark on January 05, 2008, 04:42:44 AM
OMG
Title: Re: Monsters and Madmen: A Miles Trahan Joint, presented by BK Beast Films
Post by: Ichirou on January 05, 2008, 05:48:22 AM
How would you guys cast "Monsters and Madmen"?
Title: Re: Monsters and Madmen: A Miles Trahan Joint, presented by BK Beast Films
Post by: TVC15 on January 05, 2008, 06:02:32 AM
So did Shake name this masterpiece before or after the Criterion boxset titled Monsters and Madmen came out (in January 2007)?
Title: Re: Monsters and Madmen: A Miles Trahan Joint, presented by BK Beast Films
Post by: Ichirou on January 05, 2008, 06:08:55 AM
Considering the draft is dated December, 2007, I'm guessing after.  The fact that the movie opens with a pretentious Freud quote is :lol ...did he really get the title from the Criterion box set?  That's just sad, if so.
Title: Re: Monsters and Madmen: A Miles Trahan Joint, presented by BK Beast Films
Post by: TVC15 on January 05, 2008, 07:15:00 AM
Considering the draft is dated December, 2007, I'm guessing after.  The fact that the movie opens with a pretentious Freud quote is :lol ...did he really get the title from the Criterion box set?  That's just sad, if so.

You know, I doubted the title thing at first, too. . .until I noticed that the Criterion set released in January.  We know that Miles follows DVD releases.  There's no way that he titled this screenplay without at least subliminal knowledge.
Title: Re: Monsters and Madmen: A Miles Trahan Joint, presented by BK Beast Films
Post by: Ichirou on January 05, 2008, 01:30:24 PM
Monsters and Madmen is a really, really dumb name for a hitman movie that doesn't actually have any monsters or madmen in it.
Title: Re: Monsters and Madmen: A Miles Trahan Joint, presented by BK Beast Films
Post by: Phoenix Dark on January 05, 2008, 02:52:56 PM
I would have suggested..

Blood Gold
Brains on a Wall
Fiat Hitmen Part I
Title: Re: Monsters and Madmen: A Miles Trahan Joint, presented by BK Beast Films
Post by: Madrun Badrun on January 05, 2008, 03:08:18 PM

I get the forbidden error when I hit the link so Whiteman can you upload the script onto your own server so I can read it?   

Also I think its impressive that some one his age wrote out an entire screenplay, no matter the quality.
Title: Re: Monsters and Madmen: A Miles Trahan Joint, presented by BK Beast Films
Post by: Ichirou on January 05, 2008, 03:10:19 PM
I can see where young Miles was trying to go with the title - Jack Trenton's quest for vengeance turns him into a MONSTER.  But c'mon, audiences are too dumb to take a title like that any way other than literally.

Brains on a Wall is at least accurate as to the screenplay's content.

Arvie, when I was in high school, I wrote a fucking novel, but I didn't post it anywhere or show it to anybody because I was smart enough to know that anything I wrote with the life experience of a teenager was bound to be pretty bad.  This is just 95 pages, and not so much text when you take the formatting into account.  Anybody could do it.
Title: Re: Monsters and Madmen: A Miles Trahan Joint, presented by BK Beast Films
Post by: lordmaji on January 05, 2008, 10:59:51 PM
Damn... Sounds better then The Bourne series.
Title: Re: Monsters and Madmen: A Miles Trahan Joint, presented by BK Beast Films
Post by: Flannel Boy on January 05, 2008, 11:04:31 PM
Damn... Sounds better then The Bourne series.
Maybe he should rename the movie The StillBourne: Miscarriage
Title: Re: Monsters and Madmen: A Miles Trahan Joint, presented by BK Beast Films
Post by: The Fake Shemp on January 06, 2008, 02:06:23 AM
I applaud the young Miles Trahan for making his screenplay public and welcoming the criticism that follows publishing any written work.  My thoughts are similar to Prole's - yeah, it's garbage, but at least it's coherent and has structure, no matter how cliche it is.  I personally wouldn't make any screenplay I wrote public; there's too much to lose.  A few folks have my favorite screenplay, but even I know I'm (at best) a mediocre writer that feels safe within genre films.  I write what I want to see and I think overreaching is the worst thing any writer can do.  I'm being offered a pay gig to write a script based off a treatment and I'm probably going to turn it down because I don't think I'm good enough to really make a decent screenplay out of the idea.  Although, a much more talented writer could.
Title: Re: Monsters and Madmen: A Miles Trahan Joint, presented by BK Beast Films
Post by: TVC15 on January 06, 2008, 02:37:54 AM
My screenplays are basically just 3 hours of people looking at the ceiling, moon-eyed, saying things like

(http://i9.tinypic.com/81su5fk.jpg)
Title: Re: Monsters and Madmen: A Miles Trahan Joint, presented by BK Beast Films
Post by: lordmaji on January 06, 2008, 03:20:09 AM
I applaud the young Miles Trahan for making his screenplay public and welcoming the criticism that follows publishing any written work.  My thoughts are similar to Prole's - yeah, it's garbage, but at least it's coherent and has structure, no matter how cliche it is.  I personally wouldn't make any screenplay I wrote public; there's too much to lose.  A few folks have my favorite screenplay, but even I know I'm (at best) a mediocre writer that feels safe within genre films.  I write what I want to see and I think overreaching is the worst thing any writer can do.  I'm being offered a pay gig to write a script based off a treatment and I'm probably going to turn it down because I don't think I'm good enough to really make a decent screenplay out of the idea.  Although, a much more talented writer could.

We all like to dream. :P
Title: Re: Monsters and Madmen: A Miles Trahan Joint, presented by BK Beast Films
Post by: Ichirou on January 06, 2008, 03:25:46 AM
lordmaji, did you read the screenplay?
Title: Re: Monsters and Madmen: A Miles Trahan Joint, presented by BK Beast Films
Post by: lordmaji on January 06, 2008, 02:21:09 PM
lordmaji, did you read the screenplay?

Nah, too lazy.
Title: Re: Monsters and Madmen: A Miles Trahan Joint, presented by BK Beast Films
Post by: Yeti on January 06, 2008, 06:36:21 PM
Whatever happened to the dark shake?
Title: Re: Monsters and Madmen: A Miles Trahan Joint, presented by BK Beast Films
Post by: TVC15 on January 06, 2008, 09:46:59 PM
Whatever happened to the dark shake?

I heard he got trapped in a car and ate himself to death.
Title: Re: Monsters and Madmen: A Miles Trahan Joint, presented by BK Beast Films
Post by: Phoenix Dark on January 06, 2008, 10:51:06 PM
He's at Mupepe.com with the rest of the gang :bow

We'll be in control of EB in 4 years. TVC/Drinky/MAF will be too OLD for the internet
Title: Re: Monsters and Madmen: A Miles Trahan Joint, presented by BK Beast Films
Post by: Eric P on January 06, 2008, 11:03:43 PM
Who's more likely to make it in Hollywood - Shake, Willco, or FoC?

I predict my new wave of german expressionistic-inspired pornography will be bigger than ANYTHING they do.

the cabinet of dr caligari vs the box of mistress arlaune?

let's see if tertellian was correct.  are female genitalia the doorway to hell?

only the sodomite somnambulist cesare can tell us for certain!
Title: Re: Monsters and Madmen: A Miles Trahan Joint, presented by BK Beast Films
Post by: TVC15 on January 07, 2008, 12:01:28 AM
He's at Mupepe.com with the rest of the gang :bow

We'll be in control of EB in 4 years. TVC/Drinky/MAF will be too OLD for the internet

You say that like it's a bad thing.  I'll be glad when I'm gone from these forums.  Fuck EB, you can have it.  I find it hilarious that you find it some mark of superiority that you're aligned with Shake, though. 
Title: Re: Monsters and Madmen: A Miles Trahan Joint, presented by BK Beast Films
Post by: Eel O'Brian on January 07, 2008, 12:09:40 AM
I'd make this film in Claymation, like the california raisins
Title: Re: Monsters and Madmen: A Miles Trahan Joint, presented by BK Beast Films
Post by: Yeti on January 07, 2008, 01:41:12 AM
I thought mupepe deleted mupepe.com

also, LOL at your Pizza the Hutt reference.
Title: Re: Monsters and Madmen: A Miles Trahan Joint, presented by BK Beast Films
Post by: CajoleJuice on January 07, 2008, 02:10:02 AM
He's at Mupepe.com with the rest of the gang :bow

We'll be in control of EB in 4 years. TVC/Drinky/MAF will be too OLD for the internet

You say that like it's a bad thing.  I'll be glad when I'm gone from these forums.  Fuck EB, you can have it.

Same here. Goes for any forum, really.
Title: Re: Monsters and Madmen: A Miles Trahan Joint, presented by BK Beast Films
Post by: Flannel Boy on January 07, 2008, 09:46:51 AM
He's at Mupepe.com with the rest of the gang :bow

We'll be in control of EB in 4 years. TVC/Drinky/MAF will be too OLD for the internet

You say that like it's a bad thing.  I'll be glad when I'm gone from these forums.  Fuck EB, you can have it.

Same here. Goes for any forum, really.
:(

spoiler (click to show/hide)
:'(
[close]
Title: Re: Monsters and Madmen: A Miles Trahan Joint, presented by BK Beast Films
Post by: lordmaji on January 07, 2008, 09:57:18 AM
I thought mupepe deleted mupepe.com

also, LOL at your Pizza the Hutt reference.

Nope. It crash horribly almost a year ago and it sat there until Muppy gave me the reigns to rebuild. So it's up and running. :) Has been for a few months. probably since August.. I think. :) Muppy is still there though. He pays the bills. :lol
Title: Re: Monsters and Madmen: A Miles Trahan Joint, presented by BK Beast Films
Post by: Tauntaun on January 07, 2008, 10:59:43 AM
My screenplays are basically just 3 hours of people looking at the ceiling, moon-eyed, saying things like

(http://i9.tinypic.com/81su5fk.jpg)

 :lol  Would watch, total.

Edit: Oh and the part about the stalker being all in his head or part of himself is a pretty neat idea that could be expounded upon in a more serious/creepy/gritty film.
Title: Re: Monsters and Madmen: A Miles Trahan Joint, presented by BK Beast Films
Post by: Joe Molotov on January 07, 2008, 12:41:40 PM
Edit: Oh and the part about the stalker being all in his head or part of himself is a pretty neat idea that could be expounded upon in a more serious/creepy/gritty film.

They did that in the movie Thr3e. It was one of the worst movies I've ever seen.
Title: Re: Monsters and Madmen: A Miles Trahan Joint, presented by BK Beast Films
Post by: Tauntaun on January 07, 2008, 12:54:46 PM
Edit: Oh and the part about the stalker being all in his head or part of himself is a pretty neat idea that could be expounded upon in a more serious/creepy/gritty film.

They did that in the movie Thr3e. It was one of the worst movies I've ever seen.

Oh, well was it just bad film making or is the concept you think, stupid?
Title: Re: Monsters and Madmen: A Miles Trahan Joint, presented by BK Beast Films
Post by: FlameOfCallandor on January 07, 2008, 12:55:11 PM
Im never going to post my scripts online.  :lol
Title: Re: Monsters and Madmen: A Miles Trahan Joint, presented by BK Beast Films
Post by: Eric P on January 07, 2008, 12:58:20 PM
Im never going to post my scripts online.  :lol

i think we would like the touching scene of you, ron paul and a bar of gold in "goldfingered."
Title: Re: Monsters and Madmen: A Miles Trahan Joint, presented by BK Beast Films
Post by: FlameOfCallandor on January 07, 2008, 12:59:32 PM
Im never going to post my scripts online.  :lol

i think we would like the touching scene of you, ron paul and a bar of gold in "goldfingered."


 :lol :lol :lol :lol

I talked to an Alaskan politician living in Austin who is finding a story that is based on the Ron Paul candidacy. 
Title: Re: Monsters and Madmen: A Miles Trahan Joint, presented by BK Beast Films
Post by: Eric P on January 07, 2008, 01:00:59 PM

I talked to an Alaskan politician living in Austin who is finding a story that is based on the Ron Paul candidacy. 

that poor man

i can't imagine how much those summers must absolutely suck for him
Title: Re: Monsters and Madmen: A Miles Trahan Joint, presented by BK Beast Films
Post by: Joe Molotov on January 08, 2008, 01:49:43 PM
Edit: Oh and the part about the stalker being all in his head or part of himself is a pretty neat idea that could be expounded upon in a more serious/creepy/gritty film.

They did that in the movie Thr3e. It was one of the worst movies I've ever seen.

Oh, well was it just bad film making or is the concept you think, stupid?

It was pretty awful even before that twist, but now if I saw it in another movie I'd probably be thinking "They already did that in that other crappy movie!"
Title: Re: Monsters and Madmen: A Miles Trahan Joint, presented by BK Beast Films
Post by: Van Cruncheon on January 08, 2008, 02:08:41 PM
TDS :-*

What's your beef with him Ichi?  I don't care to spend a minute reading any of it, but why is it necessary to track down something someone did around here and shit all over it? 

ichi and tds have a long history on the mupepe.com forums where you post regularly. in fact, given that forum's microscopic span of existence and userbase, it's fair to say that the ichi/tds relationship IS that forum's history. go through the archive, and you'll find the details of their brooding, misanthropic romance.

that said, tds is a total fucking knob, as his posting history will prove -- he expected to be treated like some sort of expert in the realm of cinema, when he turned out to be another pop cinema fanboy without any literary credentials to speak of. now, normally, that's fine, but it also behooves you to recognize when people know a great deal more than you and to back off, instead of immediately escalating and shitting up every adjacent thread to boot, which is shake's modus operandi. fuck, i'm no bastion of cinematic knowledge, but you don't see me getting in these pissing matches because i know when i'm out of my depth. shake, on the other hand, is apparently into watersports.

i'm sure this response will engender the predictable "wah wah eb elitists" circlejerk over at moop's forum, but if there's any place in this world where we shouldn't have to mollycoddle the egos of idiots, it's the internet. getting e-respect isn't a matter of knowledge, or a matter of experience; it's a matter of personal policy.
Title: Re: Monsters and Madmen: A Miles Trahan Joint, presented by BK Beast Films
Post by: The Fake Shemp on January 08, 2008, 02:10:44 PM
lol elitists why dont u buy moar stuff u elitist
Title: Re: Monsters and Madmen: A Miles Trahan Joint, presented by BK Beast Films
Post by: lordmaji on January 08, 2008, 02:34:34 PM
TDS :-*

What's your beef with him Ichi?  I don't care to spend a minute reading any of it, but why is it necessary to track down something someone did around here and shit all over it? 

ichi and tds have a long history on the mupepe.com forums where you post regularly. in fact, given that forum's microscopic span of existence and userbase, it's fair to say that the ichi/tds relationship IS that forum's history. go through the archive, and you'll find the details of their brooding, misanthropic romance.

that said, tds is a total fucking knob, as his posting history will prove -- he expected to be treated like some sort of expert in the realm of cinema, when he turned out to be another pop cinema fanboy without any literary credentials to speak of. now, normally, that's fine, but it also behooves you to recognize when people know a great deal more than you and to back off, instead of immediately escalating and shitting up every adjacent thread to boot, which is shake's modus operandi. fuck, i'm no bastion of cinematic knowledge, but you don't see me getting in these pissing matches because i know when i'm out of my depth. shake, on the other hand, is apparently into watersports.

i'm sure this response will engender the predictable "wah wah eb elitists" circlejerk over at moop's forum, but if there's any place in this world where we shouldn't have to mollycoddle the egos of idiots, it's the internet. getting e-respect isn't a matter of knowledge, or a matter of experience; it's a matter of personal policy.

I never paid attention to the old drama on that board before the original version went down.  I also know that TDS is a bit of a lighting rod when it comes to drawing attention to himself and he always seems to get himself into shit.  But I don't understand the reasoning behind tracking down something that someone put work into to needlessly bash it on here. 

Just as I think it's pointless and immature for cheebs/synbios to troll ichi and spam other people, I too think it's dumb to just bring up a random thread with the sole intent of embarrassing another person.  Let bygones be bygones and all that. 

And there are a lot of elitists around here.  Nobody has to run to another board to say that and one would be stupid to deny that.  I'm not sure what that has to do with my question, but maybe I'll wah wah my way over to mups place and ask.  I should get a reply within 7-15 days, depending on that forum's traffic. :lol

:lol fucking elitists.

FA is an elitist. :lol It's all good I do enjoy posting here at GAF Jr. :P You guys crack me up

Prole is good in my book. :) Fuck, I sure could use a double shot of percocet. :lol
Title: Re: Monsters and Madmen: A Miles Trahan Joint, presented by BK Beast Films
Post by: TVC15 on January 08, 2008, 04:22:16 PM
Edit: Oh and the part about the stalker being all in his head or part of himself is a pretty neat idea that could be expounded upon in a more serious/creepy/gritty film.

They did that in the movie Thr3e. It was one of the worst movies I've ever seen.

Oh, well was it just bad film making or is the concept you think, stupid?

It's like the most hackneyed concept ever.  It's like the shitty twist in the extremely shitty script that Charlie Kaufman's brother is writing in adaptation.  A good rule of thumb is that if what you're writing involves someone with multiple personalities, it's probably really shitty.

Im never going to post my scripts online.  :lol

I only show my shit to a few people I trust.  I have a fairly decent critical barometer, and I know when I'm working on something terrible.  Until I want shit published for wider release, I want complete control over the people I show things to; I know which people in my social circle can give good constructive feedback.  That means I don't have to waste time parsing whether Tard Schmo on the internet is actually saying something worthwhile or not.
Title: Re: Monsters and Madmen: A Miles Trahan Joint, presented by BK Beast Films
Post by: Van Cruncheon on January 08, 2008, 04:48:56 PM
And there are a lot of elitists around here.  Nobody has to run to another board to say that and one would be stupid to deny that.  I'm not sure what that has to do with my question, but maybe I'll wah wah my way over to mups place and ask.  I should get a reply within 7-15 days, depending on that forum's traffic. :lol

what separates an elitist from an expert? an elitist doesn't feel the urge to pander to the vagaries of random egos. like i said, if there's one place in this world where we can drop the hammer on the usual wanna-be smarty-man dipshittery that pervades the sum of our existence, it's the internet. on the other hand, when half you fine folks call someone an "elitist," you mean "person who contradicted me and my presumed expertise in an unfriendly way." if you think before you post -- seriously! run through potential counter-arguments in your head, and likewise ask yourself if you're putting an agenda or a trolling strategy before common fucking sense -- you'll find that you are suddenly in the company of very few elitists. how's that work? amazing!

(note that i do not excuse my own lovable self from accusations of "wannabe smarty-man dipshittery" as it were. on the other hand, i can fucking back my points up, and have the intellectual acumen to stand up to average scrutiny. when i do indeed get called to the carpet -- and i do! seen my record at gaf recently? -- the last thing i do is whine and whine and whine and whine and whine and whine and then post at another forum about how mean them damn elitists what showed me up are and whine some more. we call this butthurtedness in the patois of the internet elitist. it's not an attractive condition.)

normally, i'd kinda smh at ichi harassing tds across forums, but a) this topic has sparked some good conversation in this thread; b) tds 911 calls to the wahmbulance still reverberate in these parts; and c) COME ON, THE SCRIPT BRINGS THE LULZ. that's the other purpose of the internet besides berating the cluelessly stupid: THE LULZ!
Title: Re: Monsters and Madmen: A Miles Trahan Joint, presented by BK Beast Films
Post by: bluemax on January 08, 2008, 04:54:23 PM
So what are the chances that upon going into film school, the vast majority of the students are Shake-like idiots that just want to make carbon copies of the garbage of recent years?

None of the film students I met in college (at the #1 film school in the world blah blah blah) seemed to have any interest in making action movies.
Title: Re: Monsters and Madmen: A Miles Trahan Joint, presented by BK Beast Films
Post by: TVC15 on January 08, 2008, 04:57:24 PM
MONSTERS AND MADMEN 2:

Donald Kaufman: The killer, the girl, and the cop all have split-personalities. They're all the same person. Isn't that fucked up?
Title: Re: Monsters and Madmen: A Miles Trahan Joint, presented by BK Beast Films
Post by: lordmaji on January 08, 2008, 05:09:17 PM
damn pwn'd!!!

But damn, I learned that President Nixon had been eaten by white cannibals on an island near Tijuana, for no good reason at all... ... ...
Title: Re: Monsters and Madmen: A Miles Trahan Joint, presented by BK Beast Films
Post by: TVC15 on January 08, 2008, 05:30:12 PM


MONSTERS AND MADMEN 2:

Donald Kaufman: The killer, the girl, and the cop all have split-personalities. They're all the same person. Isn't that fucked up?

Here you go. The killer's a literature professor. He cuts off little chunks from his victims' bodies until they die. He calls himself "the deconstructionist".

I really want to watch Adaptation now, but I can't remember if I own it!  My movie collection has gotten intimidating and large :(
Title: Re: Monsters and Madmen: A Miles Trahan Joint, presented by BK Beast Films
Post by: TVC15 on January 08, 2008, 05:42:48 PM
I do have Being John Malkovich in glorious Sonykiller HD-DVD format.
Title: Re: Monsters and Madmen: A Miles Trahan Joint, presented by BK Beast Films
Post by: TVC15 on January 08, 2008, 05:48:35 PM
I do have Being John Malkovich in glorious Sonykiller HD-DVD format.

This was the first movie our family ever owned on DVD and I have it on my computer here at work.  Yet...I've never watched it.  Never even started to watch it.  I don't know why, as I hear it's pretty awesome and I would expect it to be so.

You should check it out.  It's of a similar level of quality to Adaptation.  I'd have trouble picking between the two.  Like Adaptation, it dances a sweet jig balance between pretentiousness and not taking itself seriously.
Title: Re: Monsters and Madmen: A Miles Trahan Joint, presented by BK Beast Films
Post by: Ichirou on January 08, 2008, 05:50:13 PM
Forgotten Ancient: You want to talk "elitist"? Jesus, just look at Shake.  The guy pretended to be a filmmaker back on GAF and spoke authoritatively about shit he knew absolutely nothing about.  When he was schooled by more knowledgeable forum members, he just became more irritating and annoying (I still remember the thread where people were mocking The Departed, Shake trying to get a rise out of Willco by telling him Sam Raimi will never get an Oscar, lawwwwwl).

I regret nothing!
Title: Re: Monsters and Madmen: A Miles Trahan Joint, presented by BK Beast Films
Post by: Phoenix Dark on January 08, 2008, 07:25:34 PM
Outside of TVC and Ichi there are no "experts" here, only snobs and pretentious jerks who propagate a vast elitist wing conspiracy

 
Title: Re: Monsters and Madmen: A Miles Trahan Joint, presented by BK Beast Films
Post by: Ichirou on January 08, 2008, 09:04:11 PM
Not asking you to regret anything...I just don't see how this thread was warranted.  Ahh well, I guess I've derailed enough.  Carry on.

I dunno, man.  The script is out there for anybody to read.  It's one thing to post pictures of Shake cross-dressing or doing drugs *cough*, quite another to post a thread about something Shake himself put out there for public consumption.
Title: Re: Monsters and Madmen: A Miles Trahan Joint, presented by BK Beast Films
Post by: Van Cruncheon on January 08, 2008, 09:41:04 PM
Outside of TVC and Ichi there are no "experts" here, only snobs and pretentious jerks who propagate a vast elitist wing conspiracy

please remember this when tvc corrects your cinematic distinguished mentally-challenged
Title: Re: Monsters and Madmen: A Miles Trahan Joint, presented by BK Beast Films
Post by: Eric P on January 08, 2008, 09:43:21 PM
Outside of TVC and Ichi there are no "experts" here, only snobs and pretentious jerks who propagate a vast elitist wing conspiracy

 

i'm sorry, i can't hear you over my oscar micheaux film marathon.
Title: Re: Monsters and Madmen: A Miles Trahan Joint, presented by BK Beast Films
Post by: lordmaji on January 09, 2008, 10:47:12 AM
Outside of TVC and Ichi there are no "experts" here, only snobs and pretentious jerks who propagate a vast elitist wing conspiracy

 

Jesus loves you. :)
Title: Re: Monsters and Madmen: A Miles Trahan Joint, presented by BK Beast Films
Post by: Solo on January 09, 2008, 03:51:27 PM
This has turned into quite a thread.
Title: Re: Monsters and Madmen: A Miles Trahan Joint, presented by BK Beast Films
Post by: Ichirou on January 09, 2008, 05:42:33 PM
Yeah, I know.  It's weird to me how people assume I'm just picking on Shake with ulterior motives.  I also made a thread a while back making fun of Andrew Vestal for comparing Final Fantasy VII to Shakespeare (this was back when Vestal was a teenager, so it's just more proof that I'm more amused by teenage dumbassery than anything else)!  I'm an equal opportunity asshole, basically.
Title: Re: Monsters and Madmen: A Miles Trahan Joint, presented by BK Beast Films
Post by: lordmaji on January 09, 2008, 10:02:54 PM
Yeah, I know.  It's weird to me how people assume I'm just picking on Shake with ulterior motives.  I also made a thread a while back making fun of Andrew Vestal for comparing Final Fantasy VII to Shakespeare (this was back when Vestal was a teenager, so it's just more proof that I'm more amused by teenage dumbassery than anything else)!  I'm an equal opportunity asshole, basically.

Sweet. Does your services work w/ affirmative action too? :)
Title: Re: Monsters and Madmen: A Miles Trahan Joint, presented by BK Beast Films
Post by: CajoleJuice on January 09, 2008, 10:08:26 PM
He's at Mupepe.com with the rest of the gang :bow

We'll be in control of EB in 4 years. TVC/Drinky/MAF will be too OLD for the internet

You say that like it's a bad thing.  I'll be glad when I'm gone from these forums.  Fuck EB, you can have it.

Same here. Goes for any forum, really.
:(

spoiler (click to show/hide)
:'(
[close]

You're why I got Pidgin! MSN!
Title: Re: Monsters and Madmen: A Miles Trahan Joint, presented by BK Beast Films
Post by: Ichirou on January 09, 2008, 10:36:28 PM
Yeah, I know.  It's weird to me how people assume I'm just picking on Shake with ulterior motives.  I also made a thread a while back making fun of Andrew Vestal for comparing Final Fantasy VII to Shakespeare (this was back when Vestal was a teenager, so it's just more proof that I'm more amused by teenage dumbassery than anything else)!  I'm an equal opportunity asshole, basically.

Sweet. Does your services work w/ affirmative action too? :)

Yes, but I prefer to make fun of white people.  They're usually dumber and more self-righteous.
Title: Re: Monsters and Madmen: A Miles Trahan Joint, presented by BK Beast Films
Post by: Cheebs on April 12, 2010, 12:19:42 AM
bump  :o
Title: Re: Monsters and Madmen: A Miles Trahan Joint, presented by BK Beast Films
Post by: The Dark Shake 3000 on April 12, 2010, 12:20:11 AM
dump
Title: Re: Monsters and Madmen: A Miles Trahan Joint, presented by BK Beast Films
Post by: Cheebs on April 12, 2010, 12:20:32 AM
dump
I clicked the pdf link and it's dead. Where is the script?  :'(
Title: Re: Monsters and Madmen: A Miles Trahan Joint, presented by BK Beast Films
Post by: The Dark Shake 3000 on April 12, 2010, 12:22:50 AM
It is GONE forever. :bow
Title: Re: Monsters and Madmen: A Miles Trahan Joint, presented by BK Beast Films
Post by: Joe Molotov on April 12, 2010, 01:30:08 AM
I saved a copy.

spoiler (click to show/hide)
No I didn't.
[close]
Title: Re: Monsters and Madmen: A Miles Trahan Joint, presented by BK Beast Films
Post by: Ichirou on April 12, 2010, 01:57:52 AM
I actually did save a copy, but it died along with my old laptop's hard drive. :'(

spoiler (click to show/hide)
I actually never read through the whole thing, just skimmed it. :shh
[close]

P.S. I'm locking this two-year-old thread. :P