Edit: Bebpo, you're not fucking crazy. But if you are, you just need to find someone as crazy as you to spend your days (and nights :teehee) with.
There's a possibility that you can't gauge how interesting someone is during 15 minutes of ice-breaker conversation at cocktail hour, so stick around for a bit and ask fun, non-generic, and opinion-oriented questions. Everyone loves to feel like someone is interested in what they have to say - that's why we have Facebook. :P Plus, some of those "uninteresting" girls might surprise you. : )
I think if drinking works for you, then get a little buzzed so you can be conscious of how and what you're doing differently in that situation.
Maybe you simply need to talk about yourself more rather than relying on the other person to carry the conversation? You seem interesting.
Well if that's the case make sure the other person is drinking as well....
The problem with deciding that you want to be in a relationship, and making that your goal, is that it's something that's inherently completely outside your control, and because of this you just end up frustrating yourself and maybe driving yourself half insane. So I've found that it's better not to try and to focus on other goals instead, things that are within your power.
But there are different types of bars. Don't you live in New York? There must be some faux-boho-hipster bar\pub\cafe thing where you would feel comfortable in.
To further simplify lennesdsay's post: Learn not to give a fuck anymore.
Focus on work, school, hanging out with your friends, etc. etc. If you can't meet a girl doing these things, then you're trying to hard. If you have to go elsewhere to find a girl, it won't work out (no similar interests, friends, goals, etc). Do what you love and, hopefully, in doing so, you'll find someone who has the same interests as you.
You know, I've never thought of non-generic, opinion-orientated questions at first meet. I feel like if I say "so what do you think of kevin smith films?" I'll get a..."huh, whose that?"; or "are you glad we are bombing the moon?" they'll be like wtfff. I mean I do ask these questions with people I later get to know and feel comfortable saying anything with; but when first meeting people I more like "oh, so where do you work? What did you major in etcc...."
The problem with deciding that you want to be in a relationship, and making that your goal, is that it's something that's inherently completely outside your control, and because of this you just end up frustrating yourself and maybe driving yourself half insane. So I've found that it's better not to try and to focus on other goals instead, things that are within your power.
When you stop looking for a relationship and stop caring, almost to the point where you almost believe you're better off alone forever, you'll find somebody.
Focus on work, school, hanging out with your friends, etc. etc. If you can't meet a girl doing these things, then you're trying to hard. If you have to go elsewhere to find a girl, it won't work out (no similar interests, friends, goals, etc). Do what you love and, hopefully, in doing so, you'll find someone who has the same interests as you.
propagandhim is like the only person itt with valid advice that doesnt suck
Focus on work, school, hanging out with your friends, etc. etc. If you can't meet a girl doing these things, then you're trying to hard. If you have to go elsewhere to find a girl, it won't work out (no similar interests, friends, goals, etc). Do what you love and, hopefully, in doing so, you'll find someone who has the same interests as you.
I don't agree with this, especially for the internet set where most hobbies and free time is spent inside of their house/apartment/mother's basement. Stop caring really will mean never finding anyone.
I'd ditch the manchild/GAF-esque behavior. Doing that alone may refocus a lot of his priorities.
All my hobbies I focus on (writing, photography, exploring, video-making, baking, movie watching, game playing, etc...) are solo hobbies that I do on my own because I am on my own 95% of the time.
"Superman can't even save me from my own insecurities"
I'm c&p this from the pics thread before jarosh comes in here before there and yells at me some more :-\But really who is jarosh? Some effeminate guy who had to marry his sister from half a world away on the internet because he couldn't find anybody at home?
QuoteAll my hobbies I focus on (writing, photography, exploring, video-making, baking, movie watching, game playing, etc...) are solo hobbies that I do on my own because I am on my own 95% of the time.
Not necessarily for the purpose of meeting women, but couldn't you change this? Get involved with a bigger video/movie project with other people, etc. It could at least help relieve your anomie a bit.
Do you have a friend that would come with you to a pick-up-and-play rec sport? I did ultimate frisbee once and it was pretty fun. Now I'm starting a soccer team - I'd totally invite you if you were near NJ.
edit: Ohhh you're in California.
Maybe you'd have better luck finding someone else's project to get involved with, at least for the time being, rather than initiating the project yourself?
You do know local sports teams are relatively easy to join. The people there might not be 'interesting' but you know it's a start.
Also, you might want to seriously think about moving to a better environment. I dunno much about law schools or how transferring would work, but you'd probably be much better off here in Portland for example, there are a lot more people who are into goofy DIY video shit and whatever else. Hell, I have a group of semi-friends into it I could probably hook you up with, they are all mid-20s mega-hipster manchildren except for a few who are 30s and 40s mega-hipster manchildren, and most of them have equally mega-hipsterized girlfriends so there you go.
I'm not saying moving will be a panacea for your problems -- it certainly wasn't for mine -- but commuter towns just suck for single people with creative hobbies.
You can and should do much better.spoiler (click to show/hide)Underage?[close]
nah, do NOT do the friend thing. always make sure there's clear romantic interest. doing the "let's hang out" thang is a recipe for friend zone shit. ACCEPT REJECTION. rejection is your pal. it weeds out girls who aren't interested early on; and if they decide maybe they WERE interested, you'll have a romantic context. always ASK ASK ASK ASK ASK ASK ASK ASK ASK. most dudes use "friending" women as an excuse to avoid the conflict and discomfort of rejection. don't be that way. getting rejected early on is MUCH better than the pain of developing a one-way set of feelings for them over time.
also, you're gonna hafta change for a gurl. they do; you do. just stay away from co-dependent or schizoid types -- and you can usually tell within two dates -- and you'll be fine.
That's not so bad, you actually made it sound worse than it actually is.You can and should do much better.spoiler (click to show/hide)Underage?[close]spoiler (click to show/hide)She said she was 18 on her profile; I didn't know she was months short of it until I added her on facebook and then it was really weird because I'd gotten a crush on her from getting to know her but I was sooooo not going to act on it with someone < 18[close]
It makes me kinda upset because while maybe I'm not Leonardo diCaprio, I think I'm a good catch and it's not like I chase girls way out of my league like models or whatnot. So it's like I'm here, while all these single girls are complaining about being single and wtfwtfwtf.
nah, do NOT do the friend thing. always make sure there's clear romantic interest. doing the "let's hang out" thang is a recipe for friend zone shit. ACCEPT REJECTION. rejection is your pal. it weeds out girls who aren't interested early on; and if they decide maybe they WERE interested, you'll have a romantic context. always ASK ASK ASK ASK ASK ASK ASK ASK ASK. most dudes use "friending" women as an excuse to avoid the conflict and discomfort of rejection. don't be that way. getting rejected early on is MUCH better than the pain of developing a one-way set of feelings for them over time.
also, you're gonna hafta change for a gurl. they do; you do. just stay away from co-dependent or schizoid types -- and you can usually tell within two dates -- and you'll be fine.
That's not so bad, you actually made it sound worse than it actually is.You can and should do much better.spoiler (click to show/hide)Underage?[close]spoiler (click to show/hide)She said she was 18 on her profile; I didn't know she was months short of it until I added her on facebook and then it was really weird because I'd gotten a crush on her from getting to know her but I was sooooo not going to act on it with someone < 18[close]
nah, do NOT do the friend thing. always make sure there's clear romantic interest. doing the "let's hang out" thang is a recipe for friend zone shit. ACCEPT REJECTION. rejection is your pal. it weeds out girls who aren't interested early on; and if they decide maybe they WERE interested, you'll have a romantic context. always ASK ASK ASK ASK ASK ASK ASK ASK ASK. most dudes use "friending" women as an excuse to avoid the conflict and discomfort of rejection. don't be that way. getting rejected early on is MUCH better than the pain of developing a one-way set of feelings for them over time.
also, you're gonna hafta change for a gurl. they do; you do. just stay away from co-dependent or schizoid types -- and you can usually tell within two dates -- and you'll be fine.
Thanks. Seriously.
At the same time though ever girl I've talked to says the reason why they were willing to talk to me was BECAUSE I wasn't like the other guys on the dating sites who ask them out within the first conversation.
It's like you need to have several conversations before asking a girl on a date, but if you have too many it becomes a friend "hang out". If you have too few the girl thinks you're creepy and she doesn't even know you and why would she want to meet you in person. From what I've gathered girls want to get to know a guy (if they meet them online) first and make sure he's not a psycho and then start thinking about agreeing to a first date.
That also makes it kind of a time waster? Because you have to run through all these hoops with each girl first to prove you aren't a psycho and then you can ask them out and half the time or more they'll reject you anyhow. Or you go and find no chemistry at the first date and you're rejected there.
Meeting people irl is so much simpler. Your first conversation shows A. Neither of you is going to kill each other, and B. You have some chemistry, you get a long. So by the first meet you can get a number or ask her on a date. I just wish I had the opportunities to do this more often so I can get rejected, rejected, rejected without wasting all the time and maybe get that 1 out of 10 date.
nah, do NOT do the friend thing. always make sure there's clear romantic interest. doing the "let's hang out" thang is a recipe for friend zone shit. ACCEPT REJECTION. rejection is your pal. it weeds out girls who aren't interested early on; and if they decide maybe they WERE interested, you'll have a romantic context. always ASK ASK ASK ASK ASK ASK ASK ASK ASK. most dudes use "friending" women as an excuse to avoid the anxiety, conflict and discomfort of rejection. don't be that way. getting rejected early on is MUCH better than the pain of developing a one-way set of feelings for them over time.
i dunno. i'll be honest; dating outside of college sounds really brutal to me. i'd find a regular hangout -- a coffee joint, a bookstore, maybe a non-trashy bar or some sort of group hobby meetup thang that isn't super nerdy -- and approach women there? you want a venue where they might be receptive themselves without being creepy or a total meat market, i guess. it sucks if you don't have friends into partying or matchmaking, no doubt.
Quotenah, do NOT do the friend thing. always make sure there's clear romantic interest. doing the "let's hang out" thang is a recipe for friend zone shit. ACCEPT REJECTION. rejection is your pal. it weeds out girls who aren't interested early on; and if they decide maybe they WERE interested, you'll have a romantic context. always ASK ASK ASK ASK ASK ASK ASK ASK ASK. most dudes use "friending" women as an excuse to avoid the anxiety, conflict and discomfort of rejection. don't be that way. getting rejected early on is MUCH better than the pain of developing a one-way set of feelings for them over time.
I won't claim fear of rejection isn't a big part of it too, but another issue is that I just feel like such a skeez asking girls out out of the blue (or after a bit of conversation I guess? but where to draw the line between the acceptable-preliminaries-to-establish-non-skeezness zone and the dread friend zone?) Plus, I still have a kind of strong ideological objection to the notion that friendship and romance are mutually exclusive, and for that matter to the nature of the romance/dating game in general. This may be partly a rationalization of anxiety etc. but I really don't think that's all there is to it. For that matter, I'm not sure the anxiety etc. aren't legitimate emotional mechanisms for operationalizing legitimate concerns.
Are you in South County, Bebpo? There are more... colorful places in North County where you can find more interesting people. Live in South County, never hang out in South County. That's the rule.
they only become your "best friend" when the limerence wears off and you both decide to change yourselves for life together.
i dunno. i'll be honest; dating outside of college sounds really brutal to me. i'd find a regular hangout -- a coffee joint, a bookstore, maybe a non-trashy bar or some sort of group hobby meetup thang that isn't super nerdy -- and approach women there? you want a venue where they might be receptive themselves without being creepy or a total meat market, i guess. it sucks if you don't have friends into partying or matchmaking, no doubt.
Ya, this is the problem I think I'm going to have now that I'm single again. Not sure how to "put myself out there", most of my friends are spread around the country now, and when I do hang out with friends, it tends to be just my friends, I'm not really meeting anyone new through my friends at this point.
Isn't Long Beach in Orange County? It seemed kind of cool while I was there.
I can cook!
I can help pay bills!
I appreciate cleanliness!
/I think I'm on the wrong side in this game of lifethey only become your "best friend" when the limerence wears off and you both decide to change yourselves for life together.
:\
I want to keep my pet dream that my gf would be someone who I can go anywhere with and do anything with and talk about anything with and would be supportive and inspiring and fun and funny and everything a friend would be + then you cuddle at night and be "more than friends" :-*
i dunno. i'll be honest; dating outside of college sounds really brutal to me. i'd find a regular hangout -- a coffee joint, a bookstore, maybe a non-trashy bar or some sort of group hobby meetup thang that isn't super nerdy -- and approach women there? you want a venue where they might be receptive themselves without being creepy or a total meat market, i guess. it sucks if you don't have friends into partying or matchmaking, no doubt.
Ya, this is the problem I think I'm going to have now that I'm single again. Not sure how to "put myself out there", most of my friends are spread around the country now, and when I do hang out with friends, it tends to be just my friends, I'm not really meeting anyone new through my friends at this point.
i always figured there would be some sort of moneymaking opportunity in a singles coffeehouse/bookstore that catered to single late 20s and 30-somethings with introverted tendencies, but i lack to the cultural savvy and cachet to imagine how it might work or how to successfully market it :(
I can cook!
I can help pay bills!
I appreciate cleanliness!
/I think I'm on the wrong side in this game of lifethey only become your "best friend" when the limerence wears off and you both decide to change yourselves for life together.
:\
I want to keep my pet dream that my gf would be someone who I can go anywhere with and do anything with and talk about anything with and would be supportive and inspiring and fun and funny and everything a friend would be + then you cuddle at night and be "more than friends" :-*
Too many RPGs
No I'm kidding I love Kingdom Hearts :wub
i always figured there would be some sort of moneymaking opportunity in a singles coffeehouse/bookstore that catered to single late 20s and 30-somethings with introverted tendencies, but i lack to the cultural savvy and cachet to imagine how it might work or how to successfully market it Sad
coffeehouse/bookstore/fresh-made chocolates
Bebpo, you're going to law school, right? Are there social gatherings for your cohort or other graduate students? That would be a great place to make friends or meet other people.
You're also more than likely on a college campus, where lots of things are happening. That's one of the best places to meet people.
Bebpo, you're going to law school, right? Are there social gatherings for your cohort or other graduate students? That would be a great place to make friends or meet other people.
Kindaaaa. But it's more like people giving speeches and things. There are some clubs and people do go drinking on fridays, but I've never really gone because I didn't hang with the crowd that went and had no idea what time and where they were taking place.
I should try going next semester.
Also, are there any adult sports leagues near you? My wife and I play on dodgeball and kickball teams with a bunch of our friends. There are also teams with a bunch of strangers, and they always get along. These are not just a bunch of hardcore jocks trying to relive their high school and college days, it's a mixture of them and city dwelling hipsters. After the games all the teams go drinking at a nearby bar. It's a great way to meet people.
Another aside for dating tipsPretty simple should of said you'll go along with them.
So on Friday I was at this party at a friend of a friends house and I didn't know most people but it was a small 10-15 person thing. I was somewhat alcholized and was talking with this cute alchoholized girl and her friend as well as another guy (so 2girls/2guys) and we talked from like 11-12pm until like 2-3am; laughing, joking around, high fiving each other. Then her and her friend said they were going on a del taco run at like 2-3am. I had thought there was some potential between myself and the girl and thought maybe something was going to happen so I was like "are you coming back after?" and they were like "nah, we're heading home to get some sleep after" and I'm like "oh, bye".
Somewhere along there I'm sure I blew the chance at hooking up with the girl. Where did I mess this up?
Are you talking about LA? I'm in Orange County, aka 60-90 mins south of LA. I have no idea where to go to socialize in this city. Even the dating sites show 90% of the women registered nearby are an hour drive from me. There are very, very, very few women from OC on online sites.
Also, are there any adult sports leagues near you? My wife and I play on dodgeball and kickball teams with a bunch of our friends. There are also teams with a bunch of strangers, and they always get along. These are not just a bunch of hardcore jocks trying to relive their high school and college days, it's a mixture of them and city dwelling hipsters. After the games all the teams go drinking at a nearby bar. It's a great way to meet people.
How do you find out and get involved in these things? I never really tried to actively get involved with things in my community and I really have no idea how you start.
Another aside for dating tips
So on Friday I was at this party at a friend of a friends house and I didn't know most people but it was a small 10-15 person thing. I was somewhat alcholized and was talking with this cute alchoholized girl and her friend as well as another guy (so 2girls/2guys) and we talked from like 11-12pm until like 2-3am; laughing, joking around, high fiving each other. Then her and her friend said they were going on a del taco run at like 2-3am. I had thought there was some potential between myself and the girl and thought maybe something was going to happen so I was like "are you coming back after?" and they were like "nah, we're heading home to get some sleep after" and I'm like "oh, bye".
Somewhere along there I'm sure I blew the chance at hooking up with the girl. Where did I mess this up?
- Noone is ever going to be interested in endlessly exploring the depths of your personality, because your girlfriend is not your mommy.
Are you talking about LA? I'm in Orange County, aka 60-90 mins south of LA. I have no idea where to go to socialize in this city. Even the dating sites show 90% of the women registered nearby are an hour drive from me. There are very, very, very few women from OC on online sites.
I was talking about the North / South divide within Orange County. (The 22 is the boundary, usually.)
South County is safe, pedestrian, homogeneous, not welcoming to variance and crushingly dull. North County has something other than white people.
I just moved back to South County after half a decade in LA but things can't have changed too much in my absence. If you live south of the 22 stop lookin' for women there.
Google it? Is there an alternative weekly newspaper in your area? The Stranger up in here in Seattle has lots of gatherings for single people. They've been doing this thing called Slog Happy once a month where everyone meets at a different bar for happy hour and they mingle. I've never been, but they appear to be popular.
One of my close single friends has gotten into fire hooping and rope climbing recently, which has opened him up to TONS of single girls. We'll be hooping at the lake near my house and loads of girls coming running up him. He's also heading down that hippie Burning Man path, but I don't know if that's something you're interested in.
Google it? Is there an alternative weekly newspaper in your area? The Stranger up in here in Seattle has lots of gatherings for single people. They've been doing this thing called Slog Happy once a month where everyone meets at a different bar for happy hour and they mingle. I've never been, but they appear to be popular.
One of my close single friends has gotten into fire hooping and rope climbing recently, which has opened him up to TONS of single girls. We'll be hooping at the lake near my house and loads of girls coming running up him. He's also heading down that hippie Burning Man path, but I don't know if that's something you're interested in.
Hmmmm, I've never really read local newspapers since I had the internet; but I'll take a look.
And yeah I keep hearing about the burning man thing. The girl I was talking to was going to go do that next time. Seems like fun, but crazy, but maybe good crazy? Idk; I'd be down to go with someone but I wouldn't just go by myself.
/google's fire hooping
:drudge Grumpy Old Man Alert :drudge
You become an adult when you swallow the following bitter pills, and all that they imply:
- You are going to die. I'm ok with mortality; it's sucks but it's a great motivator to do things NOW and enjoy things while they last
- You are fundamentally alone inside of yourself. "No one's going to hold your hand on the day you die", yeah I get this; it sucks; I don't like to think about it
- Noone is ever going to be interested in endlessly exploring the depths of your personality, because your girlfriend is not your mommy. I don't like this; In fact, maybe I do need a therapist to have someone for this; but then I think I'd just fall in love with my therapist. I want people to understand me and I want to understand them.
The problem with deciding that you want to be in a relationship, and making that your goal, is that it's something that's inherently completely outside your control, and because of this you just end up frustrating yourself and maybe driving yourself half insane. So I've found that it's better not to try and to focus on other goals instead, things that are within your power.
When you stop looking for a relationship and stop caring, almost to the point where you almost believe you're better off alone forever, you'll find somebody.
Focus on work, school, hanging out with your friends, etc. etc. If you can't meet a girl doing these things, then you're trying to hard. If you have to go elsewhere to find a girl, it won't work out (no similar interests, friends, goals, etc). Do what you love and, hopefully, in doing so, you'll find someone who has the same interests as you.
Maybe turn it down a notch. If you want to socialise with people your own age in a fairly non-stressful environment there must be some youth jewish groups or even liberal youth church groups you can attend and then bail out of.
I do live south of the 22, but what's there to do north of the 22? Or are you just saying I should check out clubs/bars north of the 22?
I live in Camarillo, bebpo.. :-*
This is the "Introvert Thread of Relevant Girl Advice" to rule them all
I can’t relate to you. I never could. You would never understand me and I could never understand you. It doesn’t matter. Imagine, leaving. Everyone is always leaving. Imagine being immune to it. Imagine still hurting, another hurt doesn’t matter. We we’re never close, anyways. We couldn’t relate.
you're such a unique snowflake, bebpo
umm i appreciate your trying to learn from your mistakes and change but i think you seriously inferred the wrong lesson from your last cradle-robbing foray. this new girl is only 4 weeks old?!?
Stop chatting with girls on the internet. It's not a slam on you, but it's probably not helping you to develop realistic ways of interacting with them and getting out of the friend zone.
you're such a unique snowflake, bebpo
But I'm not your type and that makes me sad :'(
I shaved my chest last week; do I get any plus points with you for that? :-*
you're such a unique snowflake, bebpo
But I'm not your type and that makes me sad :'(
I shaved my chest last week; do I get any plus points with you for that? :-*
Totally, chest hair is so icky on twigs
We're always experiencing, joy or sadness. So there is no jackpot in the whole enterprise. Your'e ether going to have the courage, because after a certain amount of time the accumulation of defeats in this realm are going to be significant so I think the people that, in spite of the defeat, in spite of the impossability of esablishing reasonable contex with the other, the people that are fortunate enough to continue doing this are indeed fortunate.
I've never felt bad about casual sex, FWIW.
It sounds like you end up in lots of situations with regular girls, like that party you went to on Friday night. All is not lost, man! Calm down, don't worry so much about getting a girlfriend and have a good time. If you see someone who seems cool, ask her for her number or if she wants to get a drink sometime. If she says yes, good job! If she's no, at least you tried and you can move on. Your world doesn't end and giant robot still rule.
These words are from Leonard Cohen. I forgot about them till' now (its in regards to his success with women)...QuoteWe're always experiencing, joy or sadness. So there is no jackpot in the whole enterprise. Your'e ether going to have the courage, because after a certain amount of time the accumulation of defeats in this realm are going to be significant so I think the people that, in spite of the defeat, in spite of the impossability of esablishing reasonable contex with the other, the people that are fortunate enough to continue doing this are indeed fortunate.
I've never felt bad about casual sex, FWIW.
I think it would be dangerous for me.
If I'm in full emotion mode it would fuck me up since she'll be gone.
If I'm in robot mode I'd be fine but seriously the next day I'll be in the exact same position as today, so all it would get me is some good feeling satisfaction for a few hours? Idk, I don't think I could do it.
I've never felt bad about casual sex, FWIW.
I think it would be dangerous for me.
If I'm in full emotion mode it would fuck me up since she'll be gone.
If I'm in robot mode I'd be fine but seriously the next day I'll be in the exact same position as today, so all it would get me is some good feeling satisfaction for a few hours? Idk, I don't think I could do it.
I was always led to believe that this is what we lived for.
You sound a lot like me in college, Bebpo, ie. your outlook on girls, etc. Just seriously calm down, don't stress over everything and stop falling into the friend zone. Things will work out. Hell, I've been married for three years (we starting dating in 2003). It can work out in the end.
Bebpo you should use this time fretting over girls to do something more productive like helping romhackers translate games for me to play
I've never felt bad about casual sex, FWIW.
I think it would be dangerous for me.
If I'm in full emotion mode it would fuck me up since she'll be gone.
If I'm in robot mode I'd be fine but seriously the next day I'll be in the exact same position as today, so all it would get me is some good feeling satisfaction for a few hours? Idk, I don't think I could do it.
I was always led to believe that this is what we lived for.
Not everyone can take a night of no-strings-attached sex for it what it is. Some people can't separate the pleasure from feelings of infatuation and what they perceive to be love.
I think it would be dangerous for me.
If I'm in full emotion mode it would fuck me up since she'll be gone.
If I'm in robot mode I'd be fine but seriously the next day I'll be in the exact same position as today, so all it would get me is some good feeling satisfaction for a few hours? Idk, I don't think I could do it.
Bebpo you should use this time fretting over girls to do something more productive like helping romhackers translate games for me to play
Wait for my xseedish company in 2015; we'll get all your games translated and then you can bootleg them as thanks.
Yeah, this is the best way to do it. But these parties happen very rarely in my circle of friends. Maybe 2-3 times a year and that's all. I had a party at my place the other night and there were like 20-30 people with full bands and djs and all and ALL MALE except 3 or so females who were gfs. The groups I roll with tend to be all male all the time :x
false dichotomy is right. It shouldn't be all or nothing. An adult can accept that there are shades of gray.
Anyhow I feeeel uncomfortable talking about this because me and 4 week girl had this same exact talk since she was all about the casual sex with lots of people and I.was.not. She said the whole speech about how even though it's only 1 night there can still be feelings like Before Sunrise and maybe it's true but without having experienced that I can't really say on the matter; I just prefer the ideal of a deep great love behind the act of sleeping with someone.
QuoteAnyhow I feeeel uncomfortable talking about this because me and 4 week girl had this same exact talk since she was all about the casual sex with lots of people and I.was.not. She said the whole speech about how even though it's only 1 night there can still be feelings like Before Sunrise and maybe it's true but without having experienced that I can't really say on the matter; I just prefer the ideal of a deep great love behind the act of sleeping with someone.
what she said is exactly right, at least for me.
ideals are for fascists. Absolve yourself of them and join the world of men.
well, while i wouldn't say ideals are THAT bad, they ARE a bit cumbersome and often rather useless when setting one's expectation for human relationships
Do you talk like this with girls?
I don't want your pity demi
I want your love :)
Do you talk like this with girls?
Be more specific, I've used like a dozen different personalities of speaking with my posts in this thread. In fact I'm sure if I re-read it a good amount would contradict other posts by me.
I already said I was crazy so I don't know what you are expectinggg
Do you talk like this with girls?
Be more specific, I've used like a dozen different personalities of speaking with my posts in this thread. In fact I'm sure if I re-read it a good amount would contradict other posts by me.
I already said I was crazy so I don't know what you are expectinggg
In this confessional sort of manner that you have been keeping up.
The best part of this thread though was getting Prole's writing of how to set up a date and not a "hang out" as it's tough for me to distinguish between the two.
Like if you said, "hey do you want to go take photos of sea turtles at the beach?" is that a date or a hang out? I'm guessing "hey do you want to spraypaint graffiti and run from the cops" would be a hangout?
The best part of this thread though was getting Prole's writing of how to set up a date and not a "hang out" as it's tough for me to distinguish between the two.
Like if you said, "hey do you want to go take photos of sea turtles at the beach?" is that a date or a hang out? I'm guessing "hey do you want to spraypaint graffiti and run from the cops" would be a hangout?
I think we should stick with "Hey do you want to get a cup of coffee sometime?" or "Hey do you want to go see a movie sometime?" for now.
I gave up my world is a vampire shirt when he made that EDITED BY BILLY CORGAN car commercial. I think G.L.O.W. was actually the last straw for me.
I'll still play mayonaise on guitar sometimes though. Nothing can take away Siamese Dream from being an amazing album to play or hear.
Bebpo, go to a random girl at your law school and say,"Hey, your fly is open." and walk off without saying a word.:lol
(3:32:04 am)me:hmm, well I have seen all the Buffy episodes
(3:32:28 am)me:as for gender theory, I think about it and sometimes read about it but I'm not in a good position to talk about it
(3:32:43 am)me:which isn't just because I'm a man, btw
(3:35:34 am)me:how does blond hair distract from your complexion?
(3:35:42 am)me:i would think it would actually be the opposite
(3:37:24 am)me:i.e. having dark hair, by widening the overall range of color one sees looking at your face, would render smaller differences in color, e.g. between red spots left by acne and normal skin tone, less prominent
(3:41:53 am)me:i guess i've made an unsupported assumption that your natural hair color is dark thoug
(3:41:54 am)me:h
(3:42:00 am)me:it could be light brown etc.
(3:42:23 am)me:maybe you should dye it bright red
(3:42:50 am)me:under the theory i just outlined, that would certainly serve to overshadow any red spots from acne
(3:43:17 am)me:but is that a useful corollary of the theory, or a reductio ad absurdum of the theory
(3:43:20 am)me:hmm
(9:00:44 pm)she:hello.
(9:02:15 pm)me:hi
(9:02:37 pm)she:i find your profile very interesting
(9:02:41 pm)she:i am in the midst of reading it
(9:02:50 pm)she:started college at 13?
(9:02:51 pm)me:that's cool to hear
(9:03:36 pm)me:right now I'm only here to procrastinate a bit on getting my stuff packed to move, so I may not have much time to talk
(9:03:55 pm)me:thanks, though
(9:04:06 pm)me:I'll read your profile in a bit
(9:04:09 pm)she:i am falling asleep
(9:04:11 pm)she:so its fine
(9:04:14 pm)she:where you moving?
(9:04:19 pm)she:(ok let's talk later0
Yawn.
IM is a valuable use of time and talent Roll Eyes
I'm guessing "hey do you want to spraypaint graffiti and run from the cops" would be a hangout?
Jesus, I leave on page 1 and we've progressed 4 more pages?
I seriously think you need to go to a scenester-ish bar. Something chill. No ridiculously loud dance music. (Not that it's bad, but you probably won't find what you're looking for at a typical bar/club.)
What about shows (as in, like, bands playing... "concerts" but smaller)? Back in my single days, I met hella people (girls/guys, friends/morethanfriends, etc) going to shows back in my younger, wilder days... Great times, decent music. Actually, it was shitty music with a random good band thrown in, but it comes with the territory (St Louis :-\ ). More importantly, it was crazy social times I was not prepared for but rather enjoyed. And you always run into the same people all the time.
I dunno, never been to the West Coast. Don't know what in the hell there is to do there. Just don't go in with the intentions of finding a girl and proceeding with becoming friends with them. If you see a girl you're attracted to, fucking play on it.
i told this nukka i'd be his wingman!
I've got a good friend who is the world's greatest wing woman.
i told this nukka i'd be his wingman!
Jesus, I leave on page 1 and we've progressed 4 more pages?
I seriously think you need to go to a scenester-ish bar. Something chill. No ridiculously loud dance music. (Not that it's bad, but you probably won't find what you're looking for at a typical bar/club.)
What about shows (as in, like, bands playing... "concerts" but smaller)? Back in my single days, I met hella people (girls/guys, friends/morethanfriends, etc) going to shows back in my younger, wilder days... Great times, decent music. Actually, it was shitty music with a random good band thrown in, but it comes with the territory (St Louis :-\ ). More importantly, it was crazy social times I was not prepared for but rather enjoyed. And you always run into the same people all the time.
I dunno, never been to the West Coast. Don't know what in the hell there is to do there. Just don't go in with the intentions of finding a girl and proceeding with becoming friends with them. If you see a girl you're attracted to, fucking play on it.
Especially at a bar
Here's a nice starter
"Nice toy. Hope you don't mind if I TAKE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Especially at a bar
It'd probably be a good conversation starter!
/assuming anyone actually came up to me to start a conversation.
I think, you should just go for the relationship with the flute player... seems a lot of people are too afraid to make a move on a girl because, if it doesn't work out, then their friendship or other things are ruined. Why not, what do you have to lose? If it doesn't work out, it doesn't, and unless you do something real stupid, you won't really embarrass yourself or lose much pride at all.
::) i was hoping y'all'd resist the temptation to go there, but i of course knew my hope was totally unjustified
anyway, that's good advice that i should probably try to figure out sort of relationship i want to or can or can't have before i try to incorporate her into any existing projects. if i ask her out and she says no, i hope we'll still be able to be music friends since i'm not really the type to be eaten up inside by reminders of what i can't have, as long as it's actually clear that i can't have it. but probably best to get that sorted out up front, all the same.
on the other hand, there are a couple of serious problems with that. first, i can't have a relationship until my apartment is furnished, and that won't happen for a few months for financial and medical reasons. i understand why dragging this stuff out isn't necessarily good but i wish there was a way i could stall for time. second, since we're already planning on spending hanging out together for other reasons, how would i go about um "asking her out" asking her out? do i wink lewdly at her while we're making plans? :-\
Can you play it off like you just moved therefore have no shit,
Oh, you have other stuff? Wtf, do you have your cds and dvds and games and shit all over the floor or something?
So, did we ever find out what a robo-bracelet is?
personality tests :-\
Wait, what sort of robot is this? are you interested in real robotics?
Wait, what sort of robot is this? are you interested in real robotics?
Cardboard + Yarn + other thingssStick to humans.
I'd be down to build a real robot though. Need some books on engineering first.
I've been kinda addicted to personality testing lately, this is my chart from mypersonaldna.com
image snipped
Cardboard + Yarn + other thingss
Malek!The park sucks; I'm going to the forest.
edit: He's gone already again. :'(
<a href=http://anonymouse.org/cgi-bin/anon-www.cgi/http://www.evilbore.com/forum/"http://www.personaldna.com/report.php?k=qooDDWxCoZNnHgN-OI-DCDAA-da12">
My personalDNA Report</a>
lol didn't feel like cropping the chart. not sure how being lazy makes me a 'born leader', but my chart rocks. makes me feel strong.
Masculinity 98
Femininity 4
Malek!The park sucks; I'm going to the forest.
edit: He's gone already again. :'(
By the way, I don't recall getting any helpful advice in my numerous threads, only ICP videos!
You're the anti-Bebpo; I can safely assume you don't wear "robo-bracelets."
son of a..
http://www.personaldna.com/report.php?k=TIEkQBEoYeeMeTY-EE-CDAAC-c0d4
Can I see a picture of this robo-bracelet? I am most intrigued.
Can I see a picture of this robo-bracelet? I am most intrigued.
http://www.babeland.com/sexinfo/howto/use-a-cock-ring
I try to keep at least three girls as interests when I'm looking to date. Keeps me from worrying too much about one.
I fixed myself a lot faster than expected. :-[
Also I've been getting some good poetry done thanks to all this, so I will pimp it:
http://bebpo2.livejournal.com/
Yay. Now time to talk about some vidgames in the gaming side yo!
^_^
Just wait.I never said he was going to do anything about it though.