THE BORE

General => The Superdeep Borehole => Topic started by: Cerveza mas fina on September 06, 2011, 04:33:00 AM

Title: Taking a shit at work.
Post by: Cerveza mas fina on September 06, 2011, 04:33:00 AM
I think I take one every day, lately ive been only using the disabled toilet cause its nice, big and I dont hear other people shit and fart. Its also cleaner.

Taking a nice poo break beats smoking imho...
Title: Re: Taking a shit at work.
Post by: Narag on September 06, 2011, 05:46:12 AM
I schedule mine around work such that I'm getting paid to take a shit. If you do something well don't do it for free.
Title: Re: Taking a shit at work.
Post by: Barry Egan on September 06, 2011, 06:35:17 AM
In before himumu.
Title: Re: Taking a shit at work.
Post by: OptimoPeach on September 06, 2011, 06:38:20 AM
Sometimes I walk in and the stall door is shut but I don't see any feet and I wonder if there is a person on the toilet holding their legs up so no one can identify them by their shoes

My personal favorite is when I'm on the can and someone walks in, does a 180, and is already out the door again before it even shuts
Title: Re: Taking a shit at work.
Post by: The Sceneman on September 06, 2011, 07:15:26 AM
When I worked, I shat once a day. I often timed it to be at the same time as the woman I liked. I loved hearing her butt flaps fart and shit out all the contents of her asshole
Title: Re: Taking a shit at work.
Post by: Vizzys on September 06, 2011, 07:26:32 AM
tmi
Title: Re: Taking a shit at work.
Post by: Cerveza mas fina on September 06, 2011, 07:33:02 AM
I feel like going now... my stomach is stirring...
Title: Re: Taking a shit at work.
Post by: demi on September 06, 2011, 08:01:16 AM
My personal favorite is when I'm on the can and someone walks in, does a 180, and is already out the door again before it even shuts

I do this, because our bathroom is not a spot you want to be in with another person. It's like a closet. Plus I get stage fright when someone else is nearby. I just want my privacy ;_;
Title: Re: Taking a shit at work.
Post by: Cerveza mas fina on September 06, 2011, 08:29:51 AM
Stand in line?
Title: Re: Taking a shit at work.
Post by: MrAngryFace on September 06, 2011, 10:01:56 AM
I really try not to unless I know that no one else is in the bathroom- which is rare since the building is pretty big
Title: Re: Taking a shit at work.
Post by: Cerveza mas fina on September 06, 2011, 10:17:12 AM
I imagine you have this face on the shitter  :maf :maf :maf
Title: Re: Taking a shit at work.
Post by: Joe Molotov on September 06, 2011, 10:24:47 AM
45 men, 2 women.

1 can in men's toilet, 2 cans in women's toilet.

Guess where I go.

Sink?
Title: Re: Taking a shit at work.
Post by: tiesto on September 06, 2011, 10:27:23 AM
This building is a former factory now converted to offices, so there are a ton of huge bathrooms (for when all the line workers were on their breaks) scattered all throughout the building... I like to mix up the bathrooms i take the dump in for variety...
Title: Re: Taking a shit at work.
Post by: Brehvolution on September 06, 2011, 10:34:17 AM
60 men, 2 pots

So when I have to go and walk in and find an empty stall, I'm all (http://i55.tinypic.com/2uo1315.jpg)
Title: Re: Taking a shit at work.
Post by: Phoenix Dark on September 06, 2011, 11:52:46 AM
The worst thing is seeing someone walk out the stall then head out the restroom door without washing their hands. Then having to shake their hand later in the day  :'(
Title: Re: Taking a shit at work.
Post by: fistfulofmetal on September 06, 2011, 12:03:41 PM
never
Title: Re: Taking a shit at work.
Post by: MrAngryFace on September 06, 2011, 12:11:25 PM
I imagine you have this face on the shitter  :maf :maf :maf

Yeah I dont really enjoy taking a dump.
Title: Re: Taking a shit at work.
Post by: Eel O'Brian on September 06, 2011, 12:14:50 PM
45 men, 2 women.

1 can in men's toilet, 2 cans in women's toilet.

Guess where I go.

trashcan by your desk?
Title: Re: Taking a shit at work.
Post by: Diunx on September 06, 2011, 12:31:01 PM
Sometimes I walk in and the stall door is shut but I don't see any feet and I wonder if there is a person on the toilet holding their legs up so no one can identify them by their shoes

My personal favorite is when I'm on the can and someone walks in, does a 180, and is already out the door again before it even shuts

The stall door of my office bathroom goes all the way to the floor and it's closed most of the time so I guess I would have to knock if I ever wanted to take a shit there.
Title: Re: Taking a shit at work.
Post by: Joe Molotov on September 06, 2011, 12:36:31 PM
I have my own private bathroom in my office. :smug

spoiler (click to show/hide)
I have to clean it.  :poop
[close]
Title: Re: Taking a shit at work.
Post by: Diunx on September 06, 2011, 12:43:41 PM
The american dream :bow2
Title: Re: Taking a shit at work.
Post by: Rman on September 06, 2011, 01:14:24 PM
Of course.  I'm there most of my waking hours.
Title: Re: Taking a shit at work.
Post by: Positive Touch on September 06, 2011, 05:46:32 PM
The worst thing is seeing someone walk out the stall then head out the restroom door without washing their hands. Then having to shake their hand later in the day  :'(

FUCK that.  i sooner slap a bottle of hand sanitizer in their hand than reach out and grab it :-X
Title: Re: Taking a shit at work.
Post by: MrAngryFace on September 06, 2011, 05:48:20 PM
I think what weirds me out at work is how people piss on TOP of the urinal...I mean I kinda get lazy floor drippers- but you gotta work at that other one or be freakishly tall
Title: Re: Taking a shit at work.
Post by: Yeti on September 06, 2011, 07:48:00 PM
Maybe they're trying to pee with an erection?
Title: Re: Taking a shit at work.
Post by: BobFromPikeCreek on September 06, 2011, 07:54:12 PM
:bow pooping at work
:piss trying to pee with a boner
Title: Re: Taking a shit at work.
Post by: spindashing on September 06, 2011, 08:12:43 PM
it must be against the law to shit in public.

One time, I remember in school a few months ago I went to the bathroom and it reeked. I heard some dude make straining noises so I didn't know whether I should have started laughing or vomited because the smell was so rank. Or laughed while vomited.
Title: Re: Taking a shit at work.
Post by: Phoenix Dark on September 06, 2011, 10:12:36 PM
Man, shitting at school is horrible.It boils down to "open stall #1, see water all over floor; open stall #2, see note paper and shit in toilet; open stall #3, see urine on seat; open handicap stall, sit down and pray no cripples wheel in"
Title: Re: Taking a shit at work.
Post by: Diunx on September 06, 2011, 10:18:28 PM
I have shitted twice at school this year already, my personal record.
Title: Re: Taking a shit at work.
Post by: muckhole on September 07, 2011, 07:41:00 AM
Sometimes, living where you work is a blessing.
Title: Re: Taking a shit at work.
Post by: Groogrux on September 07, 2011, 08:35:14 AM
Private restrooms where I used to work.  FTW
Title: Re: Taking a shit at work.
Post by: drozmight on September 08, 2011, 08:25:16 AM
Every day soon after my morning coffee.

Should really stop drinking coffee.
Title: Re: Taking a shit at work.
Post by: The Sceneman on September 08, 2011, 10:08:40 AM
I'm postin in this thread while taking a shit at work.

fake
Title: Re: Taking a shit at work.
Post by: Ganhyun on September 08, 2011, 05:42:43 PM
I have before. Its interesting when your in there and someone else comes in and realizes that someone is already shitting, then they kinda sit in their stall and wait for you to finish before starting themselves.
Title: Re: Taking a shit at work.
Post by: Robo on September 08, 2011, 05:54:13 PM
Taking a shit at work should be the first and last thing you do at a job; the exit shit being nowhere near the bowl.
Title: Re: Taking a shit at work.
Post by: lennedsay on September 08, 2011, 07:36:19 PM
Some lady came into the bathroom today while I was in the stall. Most people go to the end stalls to drop dueceskys and reserve the first few stalls for pees. Oh no, not this lady. 1st stall. Then it sounded like a bubbling fish aquarium as she proceeded to piss out of her ass.

I almost squeezed one out to try and compete, but there was no way.
Title: Re: Taking a shit at work.
Post by: Groogrux on September 08, 2011, 07:59:45 PM
Some lady came into the bathroom today while I was in the stall. Most people go to the end stalls to drop dueceskys and reserve the first few stalls for pees. Oh no, not this lady. 1st stall. Then it sounded like a bubbling fish aquarium as she proceeded to piss out of her ass.

I almost squeezed one out to try and compete, but there was no way.

spoiler (click to show/hide)
(http://th07.deviantart.net/fs71/150/i/2010/187/4/7/Don__t_know_if_Want_by_maddyXkankuro93.jpg)
[close]
Title: Re: Taking a shit at work.
Post by: chronovore on September 09, 2011, 09:51:43 PM
We work on the top floor of a 16 story building. There are about 70 men working on my floor, but there is a single men's room, with 1 western-style toilet (with washlet!) and 1 eastern-style squatter.

About two hours after lunch, everyone has the same urge, and it becomes an increasingly uncomfortable dash to get to an open head. I can't use those damned squatters. When the 16F toilet is occupied, I have to use the stairs and go to 15F. If the 15F toilet is occupied, I usually call the elevator and take it to 3F, because it's largely unoccupied by other businesses, and the toilets are empty.

But sometimes it's taken, too.

In those cases, it's back to the stairs, and a dash for the 2F single stall, or the one on the first floor. By this point, it's a race against the clock, and in my head the theme for Mission Impossible is playing really, really loudly.
Title: Re: Taking a shit at work.
Post by: Groogrux on September 09, 2011, 11:02:34 PM
I don't get it.  What's the difference in the toilets?  Americabore for the lose.
Title: Re: Taking a shit at work.
Post by: Joe Molotov on September 09, 2011, 11:13:50 PM
I went to my private restroom today and dropped off a massive load. Read some Evilbore and checked my email on my iPhone while I was in there. Considered fapping, but ultimately decided against it. I wished I had my razor with me, I forgot to shave this morning and I was getting a bit scraggly. I need to keep an extra one up there.
Title: Re: Taking a shit at work.
Post by: chronovore on September 10, 2011, 10:27:00 PM
I don't get it.  What's the difference in the toilets?  Americabore for the lose.

(http://i.imgur.com/GuvdD.jpg)
Squatter: Japanese people generally use these with no problem. They drop trou, squat and poop, somehow keeping balanced with their pants bunched up just below their knees. I don't have the squatting flexibility to perform this act.

(http://i.imgur.com/KoUjK.jpg)
Japanese FUTCHAR TOILET with washlet. Where the squatter is a remnant of a simpler time of shitting over a hole in the ground, these are in contrast a message of butt-washing love from the future, where no-one suffers from scraping feces from their rectum with a shabby strip of paper. That tube is showing how much pressure the nozzle can deliver to obliterate any straggling, offensive and uncooperative bits of used food.

Our men's room has one of each. Guess which I prefer!  :-*
Title: Re: Taking a shit at work.
Post by: T234 on September 10, 2011, 10:32:43 PM
I hovered when I took shits at the porn store.
Title: Re: Taking a shit at work.
Post by: Dickie Dee on September 10, 2011, 11:06:28 PM
I don't get it.  What's the difference in the toilets?  Americabore for the lose.

(http://i.imgur.com/GuvdD.jpg)
Squatter: Japanese people generally use these with no problem. They drop trou, squat and poop, somehow keeping balanced with their pants bunched up just below their knees. I don't have the squatting flexibility to perform this act.

[IMG]http://i.imgur.com/KoUjK.jpg[img]
Japanese FUTCHAR TOILET with washlet. Where the squatter is a remnant of a simpler time of shitting over a hole in the ground, these are in contrast a message of butt-washing love from the future, where no-one suffers from scraping feces from their rectum with a shabby strip of paper. That tube is showing how much pressure the nozzle can deliver to obliterate any straggling, offensive and uncooperative bits of used food.

Our men's room has one of each. Guess which I prefer!  :-*

Squatting is apparently the better way to shat as your poop chute is proper aligned for optimial poopage. Sitting up kinks things up.
Title: Re: Taking a shit at work.
Post by: Eel O'Brian on September 10, 2011, 11:08:14 PM
yeah but if you slip you might end up sitting in your own shit
Title: Re: Taking a shit at work.
Post by: chronovore on September 10, 2011, 11:42:10 PM
I've heard it, and from having seen the occasional animal pooping, it does seem that's what nature intends. However, I can't manage the pose since I haven't been doing it since birth.
Title: Re: Taking a shit at work.
Post by: Phoenix Dark on September 11, 2011, 12:07:26 AM
I'd probably sit on the pipe
Title: Re: Taking a shit at work.
Post by: Joe Molotov on September 11, 2011, 02:21:19 AM
I've heard it, and from having seen the occasional animal pooping, it does seem that's what nature intends. However, I can't manage the pose since I haven't been doing it since birth.

We've spent the past few thousand years saying "fuck you" to nature, I don't see any reason to stop now.
Title: Re: Taking a shit at work.
Post by: Robo on September 12, 2011, 12:35:31 PM
I've heard it, and from having seen the occasional animal pooping, it does seem that's what nature intends. However, I can't manage the pose since I haven't been doing it since birth.

We've spent the past few thousand years saying "fuck you" to nature, I don't see any reason to stop now.

 :bow  Words to live by.
Title: Re: Taking a shit at work.
Post by: demi on September 12, 2011, 01:37:16 PM
I went to my private restroom today and dropped off a massive load. Read some Evilbore and checked my email on my iPhone while I was in there. Considered fapping, but ultimately decided against it. I wished I had my razor with me, I forgot to shave this morning and I was getting a bit scraggly. I need to keep an extra one up there.

This is really, really, hot. My boy is becoming a man.

Grow a beard out and post a pic, Joe. I want to see you at your woofiness.
Title: Re: Taking a shit at work.
Post by: Dickie Dee on September 13, 2011, 03:46:56 PM
One of the things I love about our new building is that the men's shitters have fully enclosed doors like you're going into a closet.

I continually fantacize about the things I could accomplish while in there.
Title: Re: Taking a shit at work.
Post by: Dickie Dee on September 13, 2011, 04:06:04 PM
It really seems like one of those "good in theory" things. Maybe it cleans your ass better but I'd bet it just ends up in a wet ass.
Title: Re: Taking a shit at work.
Post by: Dickie Dee on September 13, 2011, 04:36:11 PM
I DON'T EVEN KNOW, THAT'S THE PROBLEM

IT'S TOPSY-TURVING ONE OF MY FEW LIFE CONSTANTS
Title: Re: Taking a shit at work.
Post by: Diunx on September 13, 2011, 04:41:51 PM
Can some euro gaf give us boritos from the americas instructions on how to use one of these fabled bidets?
Title: Re: Taking a shit at work.
Post by: chronovore on September 14, 2011, 10:55:17 AM
The Japanese ones, you use the bidet, then you wipe. But as it's been pointed out, if you are playing in mud, and you just wipe it on a towel, you've got a filthy towel and filthy hands afterwards. If you run your muddy hands through water, and then use a towel, you've probably got cleaner hands and towel.
Title: Re: Taking a shit at work.
Post by: Mupepe on September 14, 2011, 11:19:37 AM
Some lady came into the bathroom today while I was in the stall. Most people go to the end stalls to drop dueceskys and reserve the first few stalls for pees. Oh no, not this lady. 1st stall. Then it sounded like a bubbling fish aquarium as she proceeded to piss out of her ass.

I almost squeezed one out to try and compete, but there was no way.
for some reason this post makes me love you more

i just took a good 'un at work.  I try to pull two-a-days because on average they're about 15 minutes (5 minutes of actual pooping and wiping and 10 minutes of NSFW phone browsing) so that's 30 minutes of paid break time!!!!  Yeahhhhhhhh

I wanna up my fiber and eventually do four-a-days for an even hour
Title: Re: Taking a shit at work.
Post by: Mupepe on September 14, 2011, 04:54:14 PM
Mine hasn't gotten here yet and I only have an hour left.  I'm getting worried I won't get an extra 15 minutes today.
Title: Re: Taking a shit at work.
Post by: lennedsay on September 14, 2011, 08:14:04 PM
Afternoon poo, checkin in

:rofl

Also, :heart Mups
Title: Re: Taking a shit at work.
Post by: Barry Egan on September 14, 2011, 09:52:45 PM
It really seems like one of those "good in theory" things. Maybe it cleans your ass better but I'd bet it just ends up in a wet ass.

Think about it like this.  If a bird took a shit on your arm, would you scrape it off with some paper, or would you rinse it off in the sink?  Bidets are very effective and takes way less time.
Title: Re: Taking a shit at work.
Post by: lennedsay on September 14, 2011, 11:27:36 PM
Toilet paper cleans off as much as it rubs in.  :yuck
Title: Re: Taking a shit at work.
Post by: Diunx on September 14, 2011, 11:49:57 PM
I don't care about having a dirty asshole, since I'm not a dirty gay I just use it to shit.
Title: Re: Taking a shit at work.
Post by: Positive Touch on September 15, 2011, 05:44:18 PM
FUCK YOU MARIE CALLENDER LEAVE MY STOMACH ALONE RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
Title: Re: Taking a shit at work.
Post by: Groogrux on September 16, 2011, 08:42:59 AM
FUCK YOU MARIE CALLENDER LEAVE MY STOMACH ALONE RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

MARIE CALLENDER IS A SAINT!  YOU HEAR ME?  A SAINT!
Title: Re: Taking a shit at work.
Post by: The Sceneman on September 16, 2011, 09:11:26 AM
When I worked, I shat once a day. I often timed it to be at the same time as the woman I liked. I loved hearing her butt flaps fart and shit out all the contents of her asshole

quoted for next page.

disclaimer: this only actually happened once by accident. I went to the bathroom as the same time as the girl(woman) I liked. I heard her airbrush the toilet bowl with her lunch :-X
Title: Re: Taking a shit at work.
Post by: Himu on September 16, 2011, 09:22:51 AM
I LOVE TAKING A SHIT
Title: Re: Taking a shit at work.
Post by: Joe Molotov on September 16, 2011, 09:56:47 AM
When I worked, I shat once a day. I often timed it to be at the same time as the woman I liked. I loved hearing her butt flaps fart and shit out all the contents of her asshole

quoted for next page.

disclaimer: this only actually happened once by accident. I went to the bathroom as the same time as the girl(woman) I liked. I heard her airbrush the toilet bowl with her lunch :-X

Did you have one of those liberal, hipster unisex bathrooms, or could you hear her blowing ass through the wall?
Title: Re: Taking a shit at work.
Post by: The Sceneman on September 16, 2011, 10:02:41 AM
my office was based in an old house, with re-fitted bathrooms. Unisex units, and sound traveled pretty easily through them.
Title: Re: Taking a shit at work.
Post by: Mupepe on September 16, 2011, 10:20:19 AM
 :-X

I can't even joke about that being hot.  I like to think of women struggling to push out little bite size snickers sized turds and it smelling like flowers and when she wipes it's always one of those poops where nothing is left behind.
Title: Re: Taking a shit at work.
Post by: BlueTsunami on September 16, 2011, 12:00:36 PM
I'll just fucking wipe my ass with the softest piece of paper ever made and then wash my hands. Unless the toilet blows hot air up into my gaping asshole after I've been sprayed with water I don't wanna get adventurous with it.
Title: Re: Taking a shit at work.
Post by: The Sceneman on September 16, 2011, 12:06:19 PM
I'll just fucking wipe my ass with the softest piece of paper ever made and then wash my hands. Unless the toilet blows hot air up into my gaping asshole after I've been sprayed with water I don't wanna get adventurous with it.

like
Title: Re: Taking a shit at work.
Post by: Diunx on September 16, 2011, 01:59:47 PM
My hotel room didn't have a bidet, its a shame since I took some pretty epic shits.
Title: Re: Taking a shit at work.
Post by: Brehvolution on September 16, 2011, 02:08:28 PM
THe toilet paper here at work is low grade sandpaper.
Title: Re: Taking a shit at work.
Post by: Mupepe on September 16, 2011, 02:09:24 PM
THe toilet paper here at work is low grade sandpaper.
Ours feels like the paper that comes in coloring books.  I hate it.  But oh well.
Title: Re: Taking a shit at work.
Post by: Mupepe on September 16, 2011, 02:34:38 PM
Ahhhh.  I just took my afternoon one pretty early.  The grilled chicken and fajita I brought for lunch must have put a rush on my stomach.
Title: Re: Taking a shit at work.
Post by: chronovore on September 17, 2011, 08:07:33 PM
:-X

I can't even joke about that being hot.  I like to think of women struggling to push out little bite size snickers sized turds and it smelling like flowers and when she wipes it's always one of those poops where nothing is left behind.

But this is accurate, isn't it? This is the way it works, right? :worried
Title: Re: Taking a shit at work.
Post by: Ganhyun on September 19, 2011, 08:49:27 PM
:-X

I can't even joke about that being hot.  I like to think of women struggling to push out little bite size snickers sized turds and it smelling like flowers and when she wipes it's always one of those poops where nothing is left behind.

But this is accurate, isn't it? This is the way it works, right? :worried

I doubt it. If the evidence at my workplace is anything to go by, the womens room is worse off than the mens room. I've had to "guard the door" to the mens room for a friend of mine when she was pregnant and couldnt make the drive home to shit/piss. Not to mention the plumber has to fix the womens room every other week.
Title: Re: Taking a shit at work.
Post by: chronovore on September 20, 2011, 09:09:59 AM
Actually, I believe it. In the memes and links thread, the winner of the World's Longest Peristaltic Movement was a woman... I think.

Plus, you gotta know they're going to the restroom in groups for some reason. Rolling out in force, I think.
Title: Re: Taking a shit at work.
Post by: Cerveza mas fina on September 20, 2011, 09:11:15 AM
My woman doesn't poo.

spoiler (click to show/hide)
When I can hear it
[close]