So I broke down and saw the film.
It's a solid, fun action film that in this era of computer generated hijinks delivers some much needed down and dirty fare. I won't really bother with the plot, as it has to do with hackers that are trying to dabble in virtual terrorism in order to get revenge or prove a point or something. John McClane, who apparently just came out of a Vic Mackey look-a-like contest, is told to escort that kid from the Mac commercials to D.C. after the film establishes that McClane stalks his daughter at 3 AM when she is on dates (so they could shoehorn a personal element into the film).
The dynamic duo begin a collision course with the bad guys, led by Timothy Olyphant, whose surrounding cast of Maggie Q, some dude who apparently thought this was Spider-Man 3 and Euro white trash mercenaries, are much more menacing than his bottom-of-the-barrel Die Hard villain performance.
This leads from action set piece to action set piece, each more spectacular and crazy than the one before until it hits a climax - John McClane fights a jet. It would be no less absurd if he just jumped out of a moving vehicle and roundhouse kicked the jet, Chuck Norris-style, into atoms. That's how over-the-top the sequence is.
But it's all a lot of fun and the film never really drags. Still, this does not at any one point feel like a Die Hard film and that's the problem - it's a fun action flick that they've forced John McClane (and his daughter) into. The film feels more like the lost script to 24: The Motion Picture than the fourth installment of everyone's favorite everyman hero.
Which brings me to the other point - John McClane isn't very "everyman" anymore. He's practically invincible and never really in jeopardy, even when they introduce his daughter as a bargaining chip. At no point in time does he feel like an everyman; he actually feels more like Superman in this than in any Die Hard flick to date. Sure, he gets banged up, but there's no sense of urgency or dread or anything really. Not to mention that someone has apparently got him to quit drinking, smoking and cursing.
Also worth noting is the cinematography, which feels very cold in comparison to the John McTiernan helmed entries, sets it apart in tone from its predecessors. After a nice theatrical viewing, this almost feels like a spinoff or something. This just isn't Die Hard.
Still, you could do a lot worse with your money. And it is fun. But it's no Die Hard.