Gross Confessions and Backdoor Blues

[Van Cruncheon]

venture bros is an adult swim cartoon show that satirizes johnny quest and other classic 60s cartoon adventure series. on one episode, an alien robot comes to earth to judge humankind fit for survival. frequently, said robot would lapse into non-sequitur, and then bellow IGNORE ME as punctuation to his rambling.

:'( is the humor completely explicated out of her little meme, now? WILL YOU EVER BE SATISFIED

[bagofeyes]

neeeerrrrrdsss

[Saint Cornelius]

great. so uh is your constant refrain of "IGNORE ME" supposed to mean that us plebes should shut the fuck up or...?

/doesn't get it, LOL nerds

[Phoenix Dark]

Even I've seen that show

spoiler (click to show/hide)

Once

[close]

[Cyanista]

great. so uh is your constant refrain of "IGNORE ME" supposed to mean that us plebes should shut the fuck up or...?

It's supposed to be funny.  Like I butt my nose in and flaunt my opinion everywhere then demand you carry on as if I'm not even here.

It's a joke.   

[Van Cruncheon]

no, corny. in fact, it suggests that we will continue our merry feuding without her largely alien observations.

let us get back to WHY YOU CRAVE THE POOPERHOLE, i am not satisfied with your answers

[Mupepe]

i like when i'm licking a girls ass and she's grinding on my face.  makes me feel good and dirty at the same time.

[Saint Cornelius]

bah I don't mean to use my thread killing powas for evil

i just wanted to discuss buttsex

like Garnet, my mouth burns, but with chalula sauce and internet

let us get back to WHY YOU CRAVE THE POOPERHOLE, i am not satisfied with your answers

i really don't crave it! i much prefer a good game of hawaiian muscle fucking.

[Van Cruncheon]

yes, mupepe, but your status as the local pervasaurus rex was never in question.

[Phoenix Dark]

i like when i'm licking a girls ass and she's grinding on my face.  makes me feel good and dirty at the same time.

Do you...taste anything while you do this? I just can't imagine being in someone's ass and not smelling/tasting something. Someone might say "well what does that say about YOUR ass" but hey, as Jules Winnfield would say the anus is a filthy animal

[Saint Cornelius]

can Phoenix Dork please be removed from this thread? this isn't like the omg virgins are like what's up thread.

[Mupepe]

i like when i'm licking a girls ass and she's grinding on my face.  makes me feel good and dirty at the same time.

Do you...taste anything while you do this? I just can't imagine being in someone's ass and not smelling/tasting something. Someone might say "well what does that say about YOUR ass" but hey, as Jules Winnfield would say the anus is a filthy animal

let me put it this way, if you've tasted a girls pussy, you've most likely tasted her ass too.  they're so close together and between walking, sweet and general chode area odor and excrement, it tastes pretty much the same.  and if i'm eating her ass, my nose is a good bit away, it's either shoved deep in her pussy or her upper crack.  keep in mind, i wouldn't do this if a girl has been out of the shower more than a few minutes.  so it smells like general sex sweat.

[Mandark]

Details magazine story on the etiquette of anal sex.

Most of the guys quoted in the article seem to care more about getting the chick to do it than the act itself.  I think everyone's so used to the Guy Badgers Chick Until She Puts Out narrative, that if a girl doesn't do something she had to be convinced to do, you haven't really accomplished anything.

Not to say that anal can't be lots of fun for guys and gals, but there's a big social/status aspect to it.  I don't think the "it feels better" logic explains the big role it plays in porn, ferinstance.

[Mandark]

Oh, and

[youtube=425,350]ds6-o4gomRc[/youtube]

[Van Cruncheon]

yeah, that article pretty much confirmed what i figured: that most dudes want to do chicks in the ass because it inflates their sense of masculine dominance, which likewise suggests gross insecurity.

[Cyanista]

yeah, that article pretty much confirmed what i figured: that most dudes want to do chicks in the ass because it inflates their sense of masculine dominance, which likewise suggests gross insecurity.

Bingo.

[Mandark]

Used to be the same phenomenon with oral sex, I think.  But now it's widely accepted, so where's the fun in that?  Maybe anal will eventually become so widespread that frat boys need to find a new way for their girls to pledge sexual fealty.

Gagging maybe?

[Junpei the Tracer!]

Oh, and

[youtube=425,350]ds6-o4gomRc[/youtube]

lol why did he have to die?

[xnikki118x]

yeah, that article pretty much confirmed what i figured: that most dudes want to do chicks in the ass because it inflates their sense of masculine dominance, which likewise suggests gross insecurity.

Bingo!

Seems rather...odd to "not care" whether she's experiencing pain. Seems like pain would turn lots of chicks off, especially if the smelly dude on top didn't give a shit.

Bingo again!

[Yeti]

I would do anal if the girl wanted to, but it definitely wouldn't be my first choice. Or my second. I guess it is about on par with tittyfucking, where it might be a fun novelty but I can't really expect it being all that pleasurable.

[drohne]

Not to say that anal can't be lots of fun for guys and gals, but there's a big social/status aspect to it.  I don't think the "it feels better" logic explains the big role it plays in porn, ferinstance.

martin amis wrote an article about the porn industry several years ago -- you can probably find it online. he asked some producer or director about the primacy of anal sex in porn, and received the memorable response: 'pussy is bullshit.' meaning that a woman's reaction to vaginal penetration on camera is going to be fake -- and probably unconvincing. her reaction to a huge cock in her ass is on some level real.

entertaining article too.

been watching season 1 of the wire, btw. and liking it a lot. might post something about it later

[drohne]

double anal

[Cyanista]

What do porn stars have to do with actual sex?

[Van Cruncheon]

we're talking about what excites dudes; specifically, why anal sex is such a big thing for many of them. porn is a very, very good indicator of that.

[bagofeyes]

What about bukkake?

[drohne]

i was just talking about porn. all i know about this...'actual sex' is what i've been told in various enlightening question and answer topics from the gaf ot forum. those guys are experts

[Madrun Badrun]

What do porn stars have to do with actual sex?

hey some of only have porn to go on!   ...:'(

[Mr. Gundam]

yeah, that article pretty much confirmed what i figured: that most dudes want to do chicks in the ass because it inflates their sense of masculine dominance, which likewise suggests gross insecurity.

The first time I had anal sex, the girl suggested it. The thought never crossed my mind, and I wouldn't do it if they weren't enjoying it.

I'm not into it because it's "exciting" or because it's rooted in my having power over my wife. We both like it, and only do it when we both are in the mood for it, which means it happens three or four times a year.

[Van Cruncheon]

girls can have submission issues, too, just as dudes can have dominance ones. submission gets some chicks off, but again, it usually indicates seriously sublimated personal problems.

so why do you like it? why is it more exciting than vaginal intercourse? "variety" really isn't a justifiable answer for such a silly distinction. at least with oral sex, there's a pretty broad range of technique.

[Mr. Gundam]

so why do you like it? why is it more exciting than vaginal intercourse? "variety" really isn't a justifiable answer for such a silly distinction. at least with oral sex, there's a pretty broad range of technique.

I never said it was "more exciting" than vaginal intercourse, it's just different. It's a completely different sensation, both for me and the girl.

[Van Cruncheon]

i think i got a better theory.

[Mandark]

martin amis wrote an article about the porn industry several years ago -- you can probably find it online. he asked some producer or director about the primacy of anal sex in porn, and received the memorable response: 'pussy is bullshit.' meaning that a woman's reaction to vaginal penetration on camera is going to be fake -- and probably unconvincing. her reaction to a huge cock in her ass is on some level real.

Just read the article.  Fun stuff.

A lot of porn conventions seem to have resulted from really mundane, practical concerns.  The cumshot is proof that the sex isn't faked, blowjobs are the only way to get closeups of a star's face without losing the action, etc.

And since people are pretty reticent about sex, porn gets to set the agenda to a degree.  I mean, if anal weren't the new black, how many people would it even occur to?  Even bonobos don't do anal.  Bonobos!

[bagofeyes]

And since people are pretty reticent about sex, porn gets to set the agenda to a degree.  I mean, if anal weren't the new black, how many people would it even occur to?  Even bonobos don't do anal.  Bonobos!

There are always people looking for a new place to put their dicks

[drohne]

i'm usually pretty poop averse, but if i go exploring a girl's aft corridor, it's because it's dirty and it's different, and because sex like anything else is dulled by routine. maybe sex more than anything else -- sometimes you have to shock yourself. i would imagine that girls like it for similar reasons. maybe that doesn't lend itself to an indignant feminist interpretation. or what am i saying: everything lends itself to an indignant feminist interpretation

[aoi tsuki]

Most of the guys in that article are douchebags, and the article itself does a good job at painting guys that like anal with the same brush.

i've admitted to liking anal because of the taboo initially, but it just feels different. It hasn't replaced vag sex for me, but at the same time i wouldn't want to be in a relationship where it was off the table. i think under the right circumstances, when both of you are relaxed, there's plenty of lube, and you take at her pace, it's really enjoyable.

[bud]

aoi, who's the girl in your avatar?

[aoi tsuki]

Kinky Zee

[Saint Cornelius]

I like how the thinkers of EB have come to the conclusion that if you have anal sex, you're a filthy deviant who is only doing it to degrade their partner.

 

Oh and if you have anal sex you're a poor too, probably

[Van Cruncheon]

nah, drohne articulated a pretty fair if slightly disingenuous reason, although i imagine some of the perverts WILL jump on it as a better rationalization. i just can't fathom *why* in one's pursuit of alternative sensation that one would choose the place poop comes out -- and consistently -- but hey, i'm the prude here!

[Mupepe]

who doesn't like being dirty while they fuck?  the idea that poop comes out of there and that i shouldn't be in there just makes it that much better.

[aoi tsuki]

nah, drohne articulated a pretty fair if slightly disingenuous reason, although i imagine some of the perverts WILL jump on it as a better rationalization. i just can't fathom *why* in one's pursuit of alternative sensation that one would choose the place poop comes out -- and consistently -- but hey, i'm the prude here!

And piss comes out of the vag. Rationalize vaginal sex if you like.

But whatever. Some men would fuck anything. If a woman had a hole that spewed molten NES cartridges, i'd get her in a shower, lube it up, and fuck it, hotness permitting.

[bud]

 

[Saint Cornelius]

People vomit with their mouths! I ain't putting my poke in that!

[Tauntaun]

nah, drohne articulated a pretty fair if slightly disingenuous reason, although i imagine some of the perverts WILL jump on it as a better rationalization. i just can't fathom *why* in one's pursuit of alternative sensation that one would choose the place poop comes out -- and consistently -- but hey, i'm the prude here!

And piss comes out of the vag. Rationalize vaginal sex if you like.

But whatever. Some men would fuck anything. If a woman had a hole that spewed molten NES cartridges, i'd get her in a shower, lube it up, and fuck it, hotness permitting.

I heard you have to blow in them to get them to work sometimes. 

[Van Cruncheon]

piss doesn't come out of the vag, it comes out of the urethra which while adjacent isn't actually the same hole. jesus, people! VIRGINS AMONG US. plus the purpose of the anus is POOPING, PERIOD.

i still think it boils down to that dudes get their macho up when a chick won't give them access to the stinky winky -- they feel they gotta have it in order to make sure nothing is "off the table" as it were, especially if a previous fling let 'em drive the hershey highway. again, i ain't never gonna tell people what the can or can't do in the sack if all parties are consenting, but it's funny how most of you try to paint the act in some sort of quasi-altruistic light or aver the larger question of masculine hang-ups. just sayin' is all! continue to enjoy poking the pooper!

[Saint Cornelius]

i still think it boils down to that dudes get their macho up when a chick won't give them access to the stinky winky -- they feel they gotta have it in order to make sure nothing is "off the table" as it were, especially if a previous fling let 'em drive the hershey highway.

so no matter who tells you differently, you're going to continue assuming that it's a "macho" thing or whatever.

again, i ain't never gonna tell people what the can or can't do in the sack if all parties are consenting, but it's funny how most of you try to paint the act in some sort of quasi-altruistic light or aver the larger question of masculine hang-ups. just sayin' is all! continue to enjoy poking the pooper!

who are you referring to when you say "most of you"?

i still say you only fuck with you on top, but i'm going to also add that you have a sheet with a hole in it between you.

[Van Cruncheon]

you duders did a poor job 'splaining yourselves. hey, you don't need my approval, right?

i say "most of you" because there's a spectrum of intellectual honesty i'm too lazy to bookend, and it's safe to assume that only a certain large percentage of the dooky dunkers here are disingenuous about their need.

also, jesus says sex is for procreation only, and any pleasure i recieve from it is SINFUL.

[Saint Cornelius]

you duders did a poor job 'splaining yourselves. hey, you don't need my approval, right?

no i don't need your approval but how the fuck did we do a poor job of explaining ourselves? if anything, you're the one with the "ew poo comes from there" argument; the fucking kid from "You Me and Everyone We Know" had a more adult way of looking at things than you do!

i say "most of you" because there's a spectrum of intellectual honesty i'm too lazy to bookend, and it's safe to assume that only a certain large percentage of the dooky dunkers here are disingenuous about their need.

oh, great! assumptions!

i don't even know why i bother to have any type of serious, heart-felt responses to anything anyone says because it's just met with eyerolling and derision.

[Van Cruncheon]

it's ANAL SEX. you aren't sharing a real moment; you're discussing why you like to plant in the manure patch, senor. it lends itself to snarky, jokey talk -- sorry! i can't feel any gravitas when it comes to talking about anal sex!

now, if you wanna talk about how uncle bubba touched you in the shameful place, i'll put on my serious face and nod with all the internet pathos i can muster.

[Saint Cornelius]

eh fuck it. let's make love, professor prole. unf unf unf.

[Van Cruncheon]

...



...

fuck, you just HAD to go anal

[Cyanista]

 
Anal sex is fine.  Just not in my anal.

[Saint Cornelius]

And that's cool, but all the cries of "bingo!" made us filthy ass-shaggers feel all bad.

Well, just me. Distantmantra probably gave it to wifey in the choco starfish just to spite all y'all

[Tauntaun]

Anal sex is fine.  Just not in my anal.

   It works with like, everything you post. 

[Cyanista]

Oh, don't get me wrong.  I still think Drinky has the right of it...mostly.  Some guys aren't smart enough to figure out the whole ego dom/submissive thing, so I have to assume they are just on some "Durrr...I saw this in a porno and my sister Geraldine won' let me do it!  MUST BE GOOD STUFF" tip. 

I guess there's probably also the contingent of men with dicks too small to get good sensation in some vagina? 

All I know is it takes all kinds..but if you're the kind that is really into anal, stay away from me.

[Saint Cornelius]

Oh, don't get me wrong.  I still think Drinky has the right of it...mostly.  Some guys aren't smart enough to figure out the whole ego dom/submissive thing, so I have to assume they are just on some "Durrr...I saw this in a porno and my sister Geraldine won' let me do it!  MUST BE GOOD STUFF" tip. 

Everyone and their assumptions.

I guess there's probably also the contingent of men with dicks too small to get good sensation in some vagina? 

Oh of course, small dicked men are into anal! I'm going to write a strongly worded letter to Shane Diesel and tell him that he's fucking it up for the rest of us.

And then there's the whole [CENSORED] thing too.

[Van Cruncheon]

hey, i don't CARE that other folks actually DO anal -- consenting adults, yadda yadda. but if i'm gonna DISCUSS it, i'll lay my cards on the table. i mean, seriously, who expected *me* -- the foremost snot in the larger GAF/EB/OA community -- to just nod and go "nice, nice, i see, excellent, thanks for sharing, <smiley face> <smiley face>"

[Saint Cornelius]

It just seemed like you were laying your cards on the table in that absolute, "Prole's-Way-or-the-Highway" style you favor so.

[Mr. Gundam]

And that's cool, but all the cries of "bingo!" made us filthy ass-shaggers feel all bad.

Well, just me. Distantmantra probably gave it to wifey in the choco starfish just to spite all y'all

Hah! Nope, I was up until 3am finishing Deathly Hallows while she was sleeping soundly.

[Van Cruncheon]

please. i appreciate that you take me THAT seriously -- honestly, i do -- but JESUS i am just another shitheel on an internet filled with them. i have opinions. i see no reason to decorate them with nicety. you have the option of rolling your eyes without hurting my feelings.