Author Topic: I am at JURY DUTY. like RIGHT NOW. (Read 13872 times)

tiesto · « **Reply #60 on:** September 04, 2007, 04:31:28 PM »

Quote from: Synthesizer Patel on September 04, 2007, 03:11:56 PM

money is like microsoft points...for life

there's a girl here playing WoW

I woulda hit on her except she's white

Send her my way!!! I

white girls!

(I got a Jury Duty slip last month but totally forgot to send it in... oops

)

Howard Alan Treesong · « **Reply #61 on:** September 04, 2007, 04:55:16 PM »

do I want to post in Casual Encounters or just regular ol Men Seeking Women

I dunno the proper Craigslist etiquette. prolly the latter.

demi · « **Reply #62 on:** September 04, 2007, 04:57:06 PM »

Post in the S&M section just for laughs

Howard Alan Treesong · « **Reply #63 on:** September 04, 2007, 05:09:17 PM »

Posted!

Our nation's judicial system has dragooned me into a day of extremely boring service. I am stuck in an expansive, poorly air-conditioned room, waiting for the random number generator that makes our legal system go 'round to determine my fate. It's no wonder the 12 men they picked were so angry. Fortunately, my tax dollars turn out to pay for free government wifi, turning what would be a living nightmare into more of an unpleasant daydream.

Me: Approaching hour five of net surfing, wondering why he forgot to pack any books, regretting eating lunch in the courthouse cafeteria, increasingly irascible.

You: Reading Craiglist in the middle of the day, sympathetic, writing me an amusing e-mail that will take my mind off this Kafkaesque nightmare. You may also be cute.

Non-serious inquiries only, please.

...if I get any replies I fully expect them to be from EBers.

demi · « **Reply #64 on:** September 04, 2007, 05:12:10 PM »

I just told this one bear forum I post at about it.

Howard Alan Treesong · « **Reply #65 on:** September 04, 2007, 05:14:47 PM »

So it's either EBers...or e-Bears

The Fake Shemp · « **Reply #66 on:** September 04, 2007, 05:29:42 PM »

This could be where you peak in life, Patel!

Howard Alan Treesong · « **Reply #67 on:** September 04, 2007, 05:31:18 PM »

it's time to grab my ankles and prepare for glory

demi · « **Reply #68 on:** September 04, 2007, 05:33:45 PM »

Bears make good lovers.

Tauntaun · « **Reply #69 on:** September 04, 2007, 05:40:57 PM »

Quote from: demi on September 04, 2007, 05:33:45 PM

Bears make rugs.

Fixed.

Howard Alan Treesong · « **Reply #70 on:** September 04, 2007, 05:45:20 PM »

aaaaaaaah the jury selection daipanikku

p.s. no babes yet

Howard Alan Treesong · « **Reply #71 on:** September 04, 2007, 05:48:23 PM »

SELECT'D

fuccck

not to a jury but I have to report to a courtroom :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'(

Fragamemnon · « **Reply #72 on:** September 04, 2007, 05:54:27 PM »

oh no

more vending machine hamburgers for you, assuming the other option is the Court caferteria

Smooth Groove · « **Reply #73 on:** September 04, 2007, 05:55:19 PM »

Quote from: Synthesizer Patel on September 04, 2007, 05:48:23 PM

SELECT'D

fuccck

not to a jury but I have to report to a courtroom :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'(

Today or tomorrow? So you have to drive somewhere else? I hate it when that happens.

Fragamemnon · « **Reply #74 on:** September 04, 2007, 06:12:11 PM »

With free public wifi though, couldn't you play LAIR on your PS3 through your PSP?

"Your honor, with all due respect, I caught this juror playing LAIR. He must lack basic decision making faculties."

hyp · « **Reply #75 on:** September 04, 2007, 06:14:41 PM »

i just got summoned for jury duty. FUCKKKKKK. looks like i'll have to go in october. what's a good, valid excuse to get out of it??? i've got a shit ton of projects for work the next 2 months.

Van Cruncheon · « **Reply #76 on:** September 04, 2007, 06:23:14 PM »

yes, because you have an idealized notion of our justice system. the rest of us understand it to be an exercise in cumbersome and often inappropriate bureaucracy.

you are not chosen to serve on a jury to serve justice. you are there to serve the joint needs of the prosecution and the defense, and they simply want to win, not "serve justice."

demi · « **Reply #77 on:** September 04, 2007, 06:25:03 PM »

Don't forget the money for your precious time.

max_cool · « **Reply #78 on:** September 04, 2007, 07:05:46 PM »

last summer I was selected as an alternate grand juror which means I didn't have to do shit, but if I had to report I would have been there 3 days a week 8-5 (for three months) reading through cases and deciding if the case should go to trial... or something like that. I did have to sit through 8 hours of them "reading"* the states criminal statutes at me for an entire day...

it was action packed as I sat where the court reporter usually sat and there is a panic button. I was half asleep and when I came out of it I noticed my finger was on the button so I spoke up and said I may or may not have pushed the panic button. If I had pushed it dozens of police officers were about to rush into the room firing first and asking questions later.

Alas, I had not pushed the button and promptly fell back asleep until it was over.

*it was actually a tape recording played slightly faster than regular speed so as to speed up the process in general. The law said we would have to not only read the statutes but have them read to us as well, you know for the illiterate and whatnot.

bluemax · « **Reply #79 on:** September 04, 2007, 07:31:24 PM »

Quote from: Synthesizer Patel on September 04, 2007, 04:55:16 PM

do I want to post in Casual Encounters or just regular ol Men Seeking Women

I dunno the proper Craigslist etiquette. prolly the latter.

Strictly Platonic is where I posted. Men seeking Women usually implies you want some sort of LTR, whereas the platonic section is mostly people looking to waste time (and some weirdos who think they'll get real friends).

Casual Encounters is porn bots and creepy men.

Howard Alan Treesong · « **Reply #80 on:** September 04, 2007, 09:37:51 PM »

I see. I posted in MSW, I'll try Strictly Platonic next time. I got one reply from someone complimenting me on my vocabulary.

Howard Alan Treesong · « **Reply #81 on:** September 04, 2007, 09:41:42 PM »

JURY DUTY UPDATE: Our judge is a cock. We were summoned up at like 2 PM and then sat in the hall til 345 PM cause some other case he had ran over. Once we got in he said there wouldn't be time to choose the jury today (he estimated 2-4 hours) and we all had to come back tomorrow morning. He then spent the next 45 minutes rambling down the clock and sent us home at 4:30 PM.

If I'm chosen it's a 3-day trial, which is apparently super short by OC standards (average trial: 5 days). That makes no sense to me, 5 days is forever. Everything in Dallas seems to take like a day, too. I guess Texas has a super efficient criminal justice system. 3 days is longer than I'd like, but reasonable enough I'm not going to fall off the map at work. I don't understand how people do 2 week juries. I'm the only person at work who can do my job! If I'm not there, the wheels fall off.

In conclusion: nothing happened today, and I have to go back tomorrow morning (9 AM) to find out if I'm even on the jury.

P.S. I got a Game Fuel Slurpee on the way home to ENERGIZE MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Smooth Groove · « **Reply #82 on:** September 04, 2007, 09:45:02 PM »

Patel, did they send you to a different location when you were summoned?

Howard Alan Treesong · « **Reply #83 on:** September 04, 2007, 09:45:59 PM »

they sent me to a 10th floor courtroom. same building. it's a FELONY CASE
hopefully murder one

Howard Alan Treesong · « **Reply #84 on:** September 04, 2007, 09:50:23 PM »

FETCHEZ LA CHAISE

Smooth Groove · « **Reply #85 on:** September 04, 2007, 09:51:54 PM »

Maybe it's a high profile case since it is in the OC and you can make some big bucks selling your story.

Howard Alan Treesong · « **Reply #86 on:** September 04, 2007, 09:59:07 PM »

Quote from: Smooth Groove on September 04, 2007, 09:51:54 PM

Maybe it's a high profile case since it is in the OC and you can make some big bucks selling your story.

don't call it that

BlueTsunami · « **Reply #87 on:** September 04, 2007, 10:33:10 PM »

Quote from: Synthesizer Patel on September 04, 2007, 09:59:07 PM

Quote from: Smooth Groove on September 04, 2007, 09:51:54 PM
Maybe it's a high profile case since it is in the OC and you can make some big bucks selling your story.

don't call it that

Ichirou · « **Reply #88 on:** September 04, 2007, 10:57:21 PM »

Quote from: Synthesizer Patel on September 04, 2007, 03:04:42 PM

I should mention I spent the past 5 years in Japan. that should somehow disqualify me.

lol, 'cuz you'll be sympathetic to the defense if the case deals with molestation in public transportation?

spoiler (click to show/hide)

Because, you know, Japanese folks are pervs.

[close]

Howard Alan Treesong · « **Reply #89 on:** September 04, 2007, 11:01:45 PM »

no, because i'm such a japafag I can no longer uphold the ideals of our american justice system and I will keep trying to subvert it to the Japanese stylee

bagofeyes · « **Reply #90 on:** September 04, 2007, 11:02:16 PM »

im a perv too lol

Ichirou · « **Reply #91 on:** September 04, 2007, 11:03:35 PM »

Quote from: Synthesizer Patel on September 04, 2007, 11:01:45 PM

no, because i'm such a japafag I can no longer uphold the ideals of our american justice system and I will keep trying to subvert it to the Japanese stylee

You mean you'll tell the judge "LOLZ, I played GYAKUTEN SAIBAN (IN THE ORIGINAL JAPANEES) and I just want to say that IT IS BETTER if the defense attorney shouts and points his finger and it is BETTER if the prosecutor dresses all in purple like a gay and it is BETTER if you were to grow a luxurious beard, your honor."

Howard Alan Treesong · « **Reply #92 on:** September 04, 2007, 11:04:45 PM »

the judge kept talking about how things weren't like we saw on teevee
I've never seen a courtroom drama
I need Gyakuten Saiban metaphors to understand

Ichirou · « **Reply #93 on:** September 04, 2007, 11:06:15 PM »

I hear that defense attorneys LOVE when prospective jurors say they watch a lot of Law & Order or other type of courtroom dramas because that means they'll have ridiculously high expectations for the prosecution in regards to evidence, making it easier for the defense to get not guilty verdicts due to reasonable doubt.

Van Cruncheon · « **Reply #94 on:** September 05, 2007, 12:57:15 AM »

both prosecution and defense love tv junkies, since it means you're potentially easily manipulated by emotional arguments.

Howard Alan Treesong · « **Reply #95 on:** September 05, 2007, 02:21:50 PM »

back, on 30 minute break
found out the (2) counts. defense attorney has talked to the jury. prosecutor next. hopefully out of here by lunch.
I'm actually thinking it would be better to have been assigned up front; easier to be kicked off than dragged in as a replacement at which point they're just going to want to keep you so they don't have to do the rigmarole again.

PhoenixWright · « **Reply #96 on:** September 05, 2007, 02:55:50 PM »

Quote from: Synthesizer Patel on September 05, 2007, 02:21:50 PM

back, on 30 minute break
found out the (2) counts. defense attorney has talked to the jury. prosecutor next. hopefully out of here by lunch.
I'm actually thinking it would be better to have been assigned up front; easier to be kicked off than dragged in as a replacement at which point they're just going to want to keep you so they don't have to do the rigmarole again.

Don't believe a word the prosecutor says. Prosecutors are evil people, who only want to lock innocent people up and have perfect records!

And don't forget to save your game during the recess.

Howard Alan Treesong · « **Reply #97 on:** September 05, 2007, 03:39:56 PM »

uggggh
jury was not selected by noon
the judge has another case he has to deal with this afternoon
recess til 230 PM
if I have to come back tomorrow for a third day of goddamned selection I am going to fucking scream

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Author Topic: I am at JURY DUTY. like RIGHT NOW. (Read 13872 times)