So basically everyone around my age, and probably a little older and younger, grew up repeatedly watching Goonies. Rollicking adventure. Fun. Cave. Pirates. Kids. It was a good time. And who doesn't love Astoria? Why waste time describing a movie we have all seen a billion times?
Anyway, like many people around my age, I saw Goonies approximately like 4 times a week probably for the better part of a decade or so. But even as a kid, with totally unrefined critical capacities, I knew it was a fundamentally shitty movie. Since I didn't have the ability to put pieces together and figure out the big picture, I guess the Little Things were what clued me in concerning its lack of quality. Today, I only remember one of those Little Things since I do not subject myself to watching crap anymore, unless it features Malcolm McDowell and/or anal fisting.
Basically, there is some shot in the movie right after the goonies have gone through some particularly wet portion of the tunnels, but they are completely dry. There was no possible way they could have dried themselves off. This like, ruins the whole movie, because it calls the wetness into attention, and then you notice that none of the kids, and especially none of the Fratellis, get as filthy as they should have. By the end of the movie, everyone's clothes would have been shitty mud brown, torn to shreds, and bloody, but nooooooo, they all look mostly presentable at the end of the movie. It's completely fucking ridiculous, and it totally destroys the illusion. The Goonies is the most overrated 80s movie next to Ferris Shitty Bueller.
Goonies 2 >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> Goonies
