Author Topic: Eastern Promises or Viggo Fights w/ Full Front Nudity in Bath House Knife Fight (Read 2766 times)

The Fake Shemp · « **on:** January 09, 2008, 06:19:55 PM »

It takes balls, literally, to launch a full-out knife fight in a bath house with your junk swinging all around. Surely, the Chechen hitmen were in so in awe of Viggo's junk that they could not fight back. The power of Viggo's junk compels you!

demi · « **Reply #1 on:** January 09, 2008, 06:20:49 PM »

ender's game the movie

bud · « **Reply #2 on:** January 09, 2008, 06:22:20 PM »

i've been wanting to see this movie for quite some time now. how big is he?

The Fake Shemp · « **Reply #3 on:** January 09, 2008, 06:22:47 PM »

Kind of hard to see his junk with a knife fight going on - I would say average?

TVC15 · « **Reply #4 on:** January 09, 2008, 06:23:38 PM »

How awesome will this be in HD, Willco? ONLY ON HD-DVD! Approximately how big will his Lil' Corny be on my 50" set?

The Fake Shemp · « **Reply #5 on:** January 09, 2008, 06:25:39 PM »

Maybe you will be able to see his junk clearer in HIGH DEFINITION!

Viggo Mortensen's junk: the look and feel of high definition!

TVC15 · « **Reply #6 on:** January 09, 2008, 06:26:32 PM »

Quote from: Willco on January 09, 2008, 06:25:39 PM

Maybe you will be able to see his junk clearer in HIGH DEFINITION!

Viggo Mortensen's junk: the look and feel of high definition!

And since it is the superior HD-DVD format, I can take SCREENSHOTS. Fuck Blu-Ray!

demi · « **Reply #7 on:** January 09, 2008, 06:28:02 PM »

is The Full Monty in HD yet? hubba hubba

The Fake Shemp · « **Reply #8 on:** January 09, 2008, 06:33:18 PM »

Blu-Ray more like Blu-Gay, am I right?

spoiler (click to show/hide)

Serious note: Solid movie that honestly would've been amazing if it was another 60 to 90 minutes. At a 90 minute running time, it just starts to feel like a Godfather-esque mafia epic with much more heart and morality, but it is kind of rushed to the end to complete the character arc for Naomi Watts' character (who kind of disappeared in the third act). Had it continued to follow Viggo's character, the movie could've been epic and awesome, but it just kind of races to the end. Outside of the awe-inspiring bath house knife fight with full out Viggo junk, it's a rather okay entry into the Cronenberg filmography and not memorable or experimental enough tot really own.

[close]

Himu · « **Reply #9 on:** January 09, 2008, 06:36:43 PM »

Viggo

Eric P · « **Reply #10 on:** January 09, 2008, 07:59:23 PM »

Quote from: Genghis Cohen on January 09, 2008, 06:25:25 PM

This scene was second last year to Marisa Tomei getting fucked doggystyle by Philip Seymour Hoffmann in Before the Devil Knows You're Dead for eyebrow raising moments.

5 or 6 people walked out of the theater when the movie opened like that.

then a lot of people who stayed until the end were just seemingly in shock.

absolutely relentless film

Joe Molotov · « **Reply #11 on:** January 09, 2008, 08:06:23 PM »

That scene made me gay for Viggo.

TVC15 · « **Reply #12 on:** January 09, 2008, 08:10:54 PM »

Quote from: Eric P on January 09, 2008, 07:59:23 PM

Quote from: Genghis Cohen on January 09, 2008, 06:25:25 PM
This scene was second last year to Marisa Tomei getting fucked doggystyle by Philip Seymour Hoffmann in Before the Devil Knows You're Dead for eyebrow raising moments.

5 or 6 people walked out of the theater when the movie opened like that.

then a lot of people who stayed until the end were just seemingly in shock.

absolutely relentless film

I must see this movie

The Fake Shemp · « **Reply #13 on:** January 09, 2008, 08:13:14 PM »

Let's see it together, TVC. Running commentary on Windows Live.

Joe Molotov · « **Reply #14 on:** January 09, 2008, 08:38:56 PM »

That was a pretty awesome way to open the movie, but if that had been Viggo's balls slapping her ass instead of PSH, it would have been Movie the Year.

Eric P · « **Reply #15 on:** January 09, 2008, 08:42:17 PM »

Quote from: Genghis Cohen on January 09, 2008, 08:35:21 PM

It is literally the very first thing in the movie you see, coming before any credits or (I can't be sure on this) splashscreen. I saw it with my inlaws.

that had to be a great bonding experience

TVC15 · « **Reply #16 on:** January 09, 2008, 08:54:42 PM »

How does the actual movie compare to his classics? Good enough to stand up beside Serpico, Network, and Dog Day Afternoon?

Eric P · « **Reply #17 on:** January 09, 2008, 09:01:03 PM »

i've only seen it in the theater one time, i think it would take multiple viewings to get a better sense of it.

it was very gritty and "real" if a bit fantastic (as in fantasy) but the movie played by the rules that were set up, and the performances were great.

it's a simple story told really, really well.

if you like serpico and dog day afternoon, then there's no reason that you will watch this and shake your head.

it's more ronin than reindeer games if i were to compare it to frankenheimer's later works.

Bloodwake · « **Reply #18 on:** January 09, 2008, 09:44:12 PM »

The bigger question is, should I purchase this on HD DVD?

The Fake Shemp · « **Reply #19 on:** January 09, 2008, 09:45:23 PM »

WAIT 4 BLU RAY

Eric P · « **Reply #20 on:** January 09, 2008, 09:45:40 PM »

no.

it's worth watching, but probably not worth owning

lordmaji · « **Reply #21 on:** January 09, 2008, 10:08:23 PM »

Damn... Wilco, you sure you're not in the closet? or are you switch hitting? I can't keep up w/ the forum queer confessions anymore. You guys seem to be popping out of closets left and right these days.

Phoenix Dark · « **Reply #22 on:** January 09, 2008, 10:20:12 PM »

how big was it? i want to rent the movie but need another excuse

lordmaji · « **Reply #23 on:** January 09, 2008, 10:22:02 PM »

Quote from: Phoenix Dark on January 09, 2008, 10:20:12 PM

how big was it? i want to rent the movie but need another excuse

As big as me. If you remember.

The Fake Shemp · « **Reply #24 on:** January 09, 2008, 10:28:50 PM »

Quote from: Phoenix Dark on January 09, 2008, 10:20:12 PM

how big was it? i want to rent the movie but need another excuse

I dunno, it seemed a bit average.

lordmaji · « **Reply #25 on:** January 09, 2008, 10:31:41 PM »

Quote from: Willco on January 09, 2008, 10:28:50 PM

Quote from: Phoenix Dark on January 09, 2008, 10:20:12 PM
how big was it? i want to rent the movie but need another excuse

I dunno, it seemed a bit average.

awww, you shot me in the heart.

Phoenix Dark · « **Reply #26 on:** January 09, 2008, 10:31:56 PM »

Oh well, I'll just borrow it from Gay Boy

Mr. Gundam · « **Reply #27 on:** January 09, 2008, 10:45:30 PM »

Quote from: Willco on January 09, 2008, 09:45:23 PM

WAIT 4 BLU RAY

It's coming out in the UK later this year on Blu-ray, and might be region free.

DJ_Tet · « **Reply #28 on:** February 11, 2008, 11:33:38 AM »

Quote from: Genghis Cohen on January 09, 2008, 06:25:25 PM

This scene was second last year to Marisa Tomei getting fucked doggystyle by Philip Seymour Hoffmann in Before the Devil Knows You're Dead for eyebrow raising moments.

I know what I'm downloading when I get home.

Mupepe · « **Reply #29 on:** February 11, 2008, 11:46:40 AM »

Quote from: Eric P on January 09, 2008, 09:01:03 PM

it's more ronin than reindeer games if i were to compare it to frankenheimer's later works.

Thank God for that. Reindeer Games is one of the worst movies I've ever seen

Eric P · « **Reply #30 on:** February 11, 2008, 11:57:38 AM »

this thread is so old i had to scroll to see what i was talking about

Takuan · « **Reply #31 on:** February 11, 2008, 01:40:13 PM »

Before the Devil Knows You're Dead is worth watching just to see Marisa Tomei's immaculate figure naked.

It defies the laws of nature.

She is a fucking goddess.

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Author Topic: Eastern Promises or Viggo Fights w/ Full Front Nudity in Bath House Knife Fight (Read 2766 times)