Seriously, though.
If you need cranial accessories, you have options and not all of them are hats.
Choose 2 of the following (no more or you're a douche.)
Headphones
Beanie
Sunglasses
Monocle?
Baseball cap
Necklace
Fedora if you want to take shit from everybody
Hat w/ symbol of a country (sickle and hammer, red star, eagle shield, etc.)
These are mostly things you'll see pretty often. I have three on the list, can you guess which?