Official Thread For Dating/Sex Advice for the Socially Inept

[whiteACID]

Do you want my number yet?

If I can't hold onto a 22yr old anime fan what chance do I have with you?


The Mail Box Ect girl gave me her number today, I'll hold onto it just incase 

I'm sorry, but I'm taken.

[The Fake Shemp]

What a tease.  I hate you.

[Bacon]

Don't you drive a hummer?

2005 Cadillac CST, but everyone around here has nice cars.  I told her I worked at CompUSA fixing PCs since it was the last real job I had. 

It is not like she has been avoiding me, we had lunch a few days ago but she goes to school full time and helps running a lab so she is a busy girl.  I was hoping it was more of a sorry I haven't been around kind of msg but I think she is going to give me the golden boot.

Do you want my number yet?

Haven't you met your boyfriend quota for the week yet?

[G The Resurrected]

Blackacid seriously all you do all day long is want the cock?

[whiteACID]

Blackacid seriously all you do all day long is want the cock?

That takes up part of my day, the rest involves some esoteric bits about cavemen, a purple bulldozer and injections of cortisone, so feel free to draw your own conclusions.

[morphix]

I'm sorry, but I'm taken.

that hurts the most...

[Saint Cornelius]

Morphix is the male equivalent of Veruca Salt.

[Mupepe]

Morphix is the male equivalent of Veruca Salt.

Man, if Morphix was still fat, I could have said "Yeah, but with bigger tits."

Fuck you for losing weight!  I'm proud of you though.   

[Saint Cornelius]

Wow, a rich kid can spend all his time getting in shape, yeah that's a real accomplishment

Get back to me when you work nine hour days and still find time to lose weight

[The Miles Trahan Burger Experiment]

Wow, a rich kid can spend all his time getting in shape, yeah that's a real accomplishment

Get back to me when you work nine hour days and still find time to lose weight

OH, SNAP!

[Mupepe]

Wow, a rich kid can spend all his time getting in shape, yeah that's a real accomplishment

Get back to me when you work nine hour days and still find time to lose weight

I lost 40 pounds in 4 months while working an average of 70 hours a week.   

[morphix]

Veruca Salt....



 


Saint Cornelius I was thinking of writing a weight loss book chronicling my story.


It would be full of bad grammar, misspelled words and the jist of it would be don't eat so much fatty!


Would you read it, I'll send you a signed copy.

[Saint Cornelius]

That's good for you!

Morphix was a fat ass working the register at CompUSA, he didn't lose weight until he got hisself some money to burn. Fuck, I would be back to the beanpole physique I had in high school if I could watch porn and walk the treadmill all day

---

Of course Morphix is too fucking dumb to know who I'm referring to. Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, dipshit?

[whiteACID]

 :'(

[morphix]

That's good for you!

Morphix was a fat ass working the register at CompUSA, he didn't lose weight until he got hisself some money to burn. Fuck, I would be back to the beanpole physique I had in high school if I could watch porn and walk the treadmill all day

---

Of course Morphix is too fucking dumb to know who I'm referring to. Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, dipshit?

come on what fat kid doesn't know all about Charlie and the Chocolate Factory?  Willy Wonka is a hero to our kind.

[Saint Cornelius]

Redwood gets the medal!

Chest to pin it on sold seperately.

---

Oh, Morphix, was posting that shite band your way of being clever? Waychel would've LOL'd

[morphix]

my humor is somewhat low brow.

[The Fake Shemp]

There's a lot of gay subtext present.  I think this can only be solved with a man orgy.

[Mupepe]

There's a lot of gay subtext present.  I think this can only be solved with a man orgy.

IT'S A GROUP GROPE!

[Saint Cornelius]

my humor is somewhat low brow.

no, you're a fucking distinguished mentally-challenged fellow. too bad money can't buy a brain upgrade

[The Miles Trahan Burger Experiment]

Saint Cornelius
Don't fucking look at me, dipshits!

Posts: 675



Make it happen.

[Saint Cornelius]

How the fuck do you get 3000 posts at Evilbore? Damn, thun

[The Fake Shemp]

Being able to post at work.

[Phoenix Dark]

Do you want my number yet?

If I can't hold onto a 22yr old anime fan what chance do I have with you?


The Mail Box Ect girl gave me her number today, I'll hold onto it just incase 

I'm sorry, but I'm taken.

[The Miles Trahan Burger Experiment]

How the fuck do you get 3000 posts at Evilbore? Damn, thun

I joined like three months before you, and I post all throughout the day.

THUN

[Saint Cornelius]

Evilbore was around for three months before I rejoined, dun?

[The Fake Shemp]

We launched the last day of July.  I think after the first day, when people weren't curious, we had like, 9 active users. 

[The Miles Trahan Burger Experiment]

We launched the last day of July.  I think after the first day, when people weren't curious, we had like, 9 active users. 

evilbore
yeah, we kinda suck.

[The Fake Shemp]

NOT ANYMORE.  WE GOT BITCHES.

[Mupepe]

NOT ANYMORE.  WE GOT BITCHES.

and hoes?

in different area codes?

I hope you're not calling Melissa a bitch or hoe. 

[Cheebs]

PD promise me if you ever go out with a girl you'd never EVER on a first date take her to a cheap chain like Olive Garden. Your last topic made me afraid for your potential progress!

[Phoenix Dark]

PD promise me if you ever go out with a girl you'd never EVER on a first date take her to a cheap chain like Olive Garden. Your last topic made me afraid for your potential progress!

WTF?

The Olive Garden is a classy joint

[The Miles Trahan Burger Experiment]

WTF?

The Olive Garden is a classy joint

AND YOU'RE TELLING ME YOU DON'T GET LAID?



























































 

[Phoenix Dark]

 

[Mupepe]

PD promise me if you ever go out with a girl you'd never EVER on a first date take her to a cheap chain like Olive Garden. Your last topic made me afraid for your potential progress!

WTF?

The Olive Garden is a classy joint

You'll do better taking her somewhere that has personality instead of a mediocre chain restaurant.

[Saint Cornelius]

I really like their Zuppa Toscana. But no one has ever gotten laid going to Olive Garden, it's true

[The Fake Shemp]

At Olive Garden, they say it's like family, because nobody ever gets laid with family.  Except weirdos.

[brawndolicious]

You still live close to home, right?  Is there anywhere good you know of?

At Olive Garden, they say it's like family, because nobody ever gets laid with family.  Except weirdos.

That's true.

[The Miles Trahan Burger Experiment]

At Olive Garden, they say it's like family, because nobody ever gets laid with family.  Except weirdos.

 

[Phoenix Dark]

You still live close to home, right?  Is there anywhere good you know of?

Buffalo Wild Wings...but that's more of a guy joint. If she was gay we'd go there.

Hmmm.

[Cheebs]

You still live close to home, right?  Is there anywhere good you know of?

Buffalo Wild Wings...but that's more of a guy joint. If she was gay we'd go there.

Hmmm.

WHAT? That is another cheap chain! Stop naming cheap chain restaurants!

[Saint Cornelius]

In all honesty, PD, if you have a good personality it doesn't matter where the fuck you take her. A lot of the people on this board are overcompensating by taking their, uh, supposed women to fancie smanshie restaurants. If you have enough game you can take a bitch to MickeyDs and get skull in the parking lot afterwards!

Note: you do not have enough game to pull that off.

[The Miles Trahan Burger Experiment]

WHAT ABOUT TACO BELL HAWHAWHAW ILL GET SO MUCH POOONY TONITE

[Phoenix Dark]

Fuck you guys, Olive Garden is a VERY classy place. And it costs a lot of money.

I could also go to this one nice Chinese restaurant.

[The Fake Shemp]

There are no nice Chinese restaurants.  Fact.

[The Miles Trahan Burger Experiment]

There are no nice Chinese restaurants.  Fact.

LIES!

[Phoenix Dark]

There are no nice Chinese restaurants.  Fact.

Fine. Does "the yellow man's stinky eatery" work better for you?

[brawndolicious]

Buffalo Wild Wings...but that's more of a guy joint. If she was gay we'd go there.
Hmmm.

No.  I meant take her somewhere fun.  You could take her to a hookah bar and drink tea, don't worry you won't throw up.

[Saint Cornelius]

Fine. Does "the yellow man's stinky eatery" work better for you?

Oh snaps

[Saint Cornelius]

No.  I meant take her somewhere fun.  You could take her to a hookah bar and drink tea, don't worry you won't throw up.

This is PD we're talking about, he gets nauseated by breathing too deeply.

[The Miles Trahan Burger Experiment]

 

[Mupepe]

PD, take her somewhere WITH PERSONALITY.  Olive Garden does not have personality.  Take her to a locally owned Italian restaurant that's less expensive.  You'll get a better reaction.

[Saint Cornelius]

PD, take her somewhere WITH PERSONALITY.  Olive Garden does not have personality.  Take her to a locally owned Italian restaurant that's less expensive.  You'll get a better reaction.

Let's just say - and I know this is a stretch, but hear me out - let's say that PD is a shitty date, total. Doesn't talk, avoids eye contact, then gets too handsy at the end of the date. Do you think it really matters if he takes her to the 'Garden, or some intimate Italian joint?

On the other hand, if PD is a total charmer and homegirl is just wrapped up in him, do you think she'll care where he takes her?

[Flannel Boy]

PD, take her somewhere WITH PERSONALITY. 

Does he really want to take a girl to a restaurant that has more personality than he does?

[Mupepe]

PD, take her somewhere WITH PERSONALITY.  Olive Garden does not have personality.  Take her to a locally owned Italian restaurant that's less expensive.  You'll get a better reaction.

Let's just say - and I know this is a stretch, but hear me out - let's say that PD is a shitty date, total. Doesn't talk, avoids eye contact, then gets too handsy at the end of the date. Do you think it really matters if he takes her to the 'Garden, or some intimate Italian joint?

On the other hand, if PD is a total charmer and homegirl is just wrapped up in him, do you think she'll care where he takes her?

No on both counts.  But it can't hurt, can it?  What if he's just mediocre and needs all the points he can get? 

[The Miles Trahan Burger Experiment]

Corny, the whole "internet wanksta" act: what gives?

[Saint Cornelius]

Corny, the whole "internet wanksta" act: what gives?

What the fuck are you talking about? I'm the most real person online.

I'm just telling it like it is - if you're not making yourself interesting to a woman, what does the surroundings matter?

Let me put it another way; if you take a girl out and afterwards, the only thing she tells her girlfriends is "the restaurant was really nice!", what good does it do you?

[Saint Cornelius]

Does he really want to take a girl to a restaurant that has more personality than he does?

See? Malek gets it. He's just more succinct than I am.

[The Miles Trahan Burger Experiment]

I dunno, but homegirl better keep it real hood, ya dig? Bust something.

[Phoenix Dark]

Hmmm...true, true

I'll ask her where she wants to eat and avoid this entire problem.