Official Thread For Dating/Sex Advice for the Socially Inept

[Saint Cornelius]

I dunno, but homegirl better keep it real hood, ya dig? Bust something.

What??? Come on thun, you be illin

[The Fake Shemp]

Take her to McDonald's, so she can order the most expensive thing off the menu!

[Mupepe]

Corny, the whole "internet wanksta" act: what gives?

What the fuck are you talking about? I'm the most real person online.

I'm just telling it like it is - if you're not making yourself interesting to a woman, what does the surroundings matter?

Let me put it another way; if you take a girl out and afterwards, the only thing she tells her girlfriends is "the restaurant was really nice!", what good does it do you?

Some women are more shallow than you seem to be giving them credit for.  The point is though, it can't hurt.  That's all I'm saying.  If I'm really trying to get a girl, why hold punches?  Give her everything you got.

[brawndolicious]

I think my suggestion is good.  Relaxing, you can talk, there's really no way to smoke wrong.

PD, what is the girl like?  If she was a guy, could you talk to her for 2 hours?

[The Fake Shemp]

If she was a guy, he could do more than just talk with her.

[Flannel Boy]

Take her to McDonald's, so she can order the most expensive thing off the menu!

Phyllis: You should order the most expensive thing on the menu. So he knows you’re worth it.
Stanley: If you do that, you’re going to have to put out.
Phyllis: Well yeah, you’ll have to put out.

[Saint Cornelius]

Some women are more shallow than you seem to be giving them credit for.  The point is though, it can't hurt.  That's all I'm saying.  If I'm really trying to get a girl, why hold punches?  Give her everything you got.

This is true, but if a girl is that shallow, does he really want to be with her? ("If she puts out, hells yes!")

I think my suggestion is good.  Relaxing, you can talk, there's really no way to smoke wrong.

Dude I smoke ganja and I've gotten nauseous smoking that shit. I don't think I was supposed to inhale as much as I did.

They have hookah parlours in the Mushroom Kingdom?

[The Fake Shemp]

If she puts out for one of those Chicken Selects sandwhiches - that's money well spent!

[Phoenix Dark]

I think my suggestion is good.  Relaxing, you can talk, there's really no way to smoke wrong.

PD, what is the girl like?  If she was a guy, could you talk to her for 2 hours?

I can talk to most guys for a long time, because guys usually have clear common ground (sports for instance). So I wouldn't make that comparison.

She's...well I don't really know. She talks and laughs in class, and she's pretty hard working. And she did laugh at my jokes. I think we could have a nice conversation since we don't know much about each other.

[The Fake Shemp]

You should talk to her about evilbore and how great it is and then pull out a laptop and browse this thread 2getha.

[The Miles Trahan Burger Experiment]

Yeah, this is destined for failure.

You need to run through a bunch of these hoodrats first, then move on up to the big enchaladas. YA DIG, THUN?

[Phoenix Dark]

I should post her pic

[Flannel Boy]

Girls will laugh at anything. They laugh when I ask them out. They laugh when I pull my pants down. They laugh when I trip and fall...








 :'(

[The Miles Trahan Burger Experiment]

I'M LAUGHING RITE NOW!!!

[Mupepe]

Some women are more shallow than you seem to be giving them credit for.  The point is though, it can't hurt.  That's all I'm saying.  If I'm really trying to get a girl, why hold punches?  Give her everything you got.

This is true, but if a girl is that shallow, does he really want to be with her? ("If she puts out, hells yes!")

Pretty much, I don't think PD is looking for marriage here though, so....

[The Fake Shemp]

Like, I'll tell CrystalGemini about how much I rock and she just laughs and laughs.

And laughs.

And laughs some more.

What a bitch.

[brawndolicious]

Dude I smoke ganja and I've gotten nauseous smoking that shit. I don't think I was supposed to inhale as much as I did.
They have hookah parlours in the Mushroom Kingdom?

Yes, corny, and I'm talking about smoking flavored tobacco.  Drink tea, take a puff, pass it to her.

I can talk to most guys for a long time, because guys usually have clear common ground (sports for instance). So I wouldn't make that comparison.
She's...well I don't really know. She talks and laughs in class, and she's pretty hard working. And she did laugh at my jokes. I think we could have a nice conversation since we don't know much about each other.

um...um...

[The Fake Shemp]

Nobody PM her what I posted.  If I find out you did, I am going to give Diablos your IP address and tell him it's a girl.

[Saint Cornelius]

Yes, corny, and I'm talking about smoking flavored tobacco.  Drink tea, take a puff, pass it to her.

I know what you're talking about and I'm telling you if you don't puff that shit right you will get sick. Which is NOT sexytime for a date.

[The Miles Trahan Burger Experiment]

Nobody PM her what I posted.  If I find out you did, I am going to give Diablos your IP address and tell him it's a girl.

Whoops.

[Saint Cornelius]

You need to run through a bunch of these hoodrats first, then move on up to the big enchaladas. YA DIG, THUN?

KEEP IT TRILL

[The Fake Shemp]

Amen.  I smoked out of a pipe once and accidentally went down the pipe.  No amount of liquor made that a fun experience.

[brawndolicious]

I know what you're talking about and I'm telling you if you don't puff that shit right you will get sick. Which is NOT sexytime for a date.

Okay, you want all the bases covered.  Now he needs to talk to her...

[Flannel Boy]

Nobody PM her what I posted.  If I find out you did, I am going to give Diablos your IP address and tell him it's a girl.

And this will deter me how?

 


With Diablos you don't have to worry when PMS will hit, because it is a non-stop thing with him. Takes the guess work out of the relationship.

[Phoenix Dark]

She's like half black half Iranian or something but she doesn't look black

[The Miles Trahan Burger Experiment]

 

[Flannel Boy]

She's like half black half Iranian or something but she doesn't look black

Like most attractive "black" women.

[Mupepe]

Nobody PM her what I posted.  If I find out you did, I am going to give Diablos your IP address and tell him it's a girl.

[The Fake Shemp]

You are all permabanned, I am going to delete the thread and then the PMs before she gets home!

[Saint Cornelius]

I bet PD doesn't look that black either.

Shit I'm probably blacker than PD

"What would be my penile core, if it wasn't brown?" - Q-Tip, "What?"

[Mupepe]

You are all permabanned, I am going to delete the thread and then the PMs before she gets home!

IT'S GAF ALL OVER AGAIN!

[brawndolicious]

She's like half black half Iranian or something but she doesn't look black

Yeah our girls have facial hair...

[The Miles Trahan Burger Experiment]

Haha CrystalGemini just got 10 pms with the same message. WILLCOWNED.

[Flannel Boy]

She's like half black half Iranian or something but she doesn't look black

Yeah our girls have facial hair...

Yeah, you'll need a machete if you want to go down on her.

[Phoenix Dark]

She's like half black half Iranian or something but she doesn't look black

Yeah our girls have facial hair...

She doesnt't

She has a beautiful face and long hair

[Saint Cornelius]

Yeah our girls have facial hair...

And they make little noises like coins flying out of a question mark box when you hit 'em from the back

[Flannel Boy]

She's like half black half Iranian or something but she doesn't look black

Yeah our girls have facial hair...

She doesnt't

She has a beautiful face and long hair

Yeah, it's called a beard.

[Mupepe]

She's like half black half Iranian or something but she doesn't look black

Yeah our girls have facial hair...

She doesnt't

She has a beautiful face and long hair

...on her face?  Does her beard hang low?  Can she tie it in a knot?  Can she tie it in a bow?  Does it go flip flop?....

[Phoenix Dark]

You guys suck

[brawndolicious]

And they make little noises like coins flying out of a question mark box when you hit 'em from the back

Yeah that's because you're hitting their scabs from shaving their ass hairs...

She doesnt't
She has a beautiful face and long hair

I have not seen one with no back hair.  Not peach fuzz, like fucking nappy, pubic, gorilla hair.




I'm just joking.  Now ask her out.

[Flannel Boy]

Phoenix, skip the resteraunt and take her to a laser hair removal centre.

[Mupepe]

Seriously, post a pic.  I want to fap!

[The Fake Shemp]

Phoenix, skip the resteraunt and take her to a laser hair removal centre.

 

[Flannel Boy]

Seriously, post a pic.  I want to fap!

little blurry

[BobbyRobby]

Phoenix, you are in college.  Forget about dates and restuarants.  Take her to the cafeteria.  Take her to a party and get her drunk.  Don't bother pursuing a relationship until you've had some sexual experience.  You probably need the confidence that will come with it.

Don't feel like you aren't being a gentlemen, or that any girl that is willing to fuck is a slut.  These are the last years in your life where it will be this easy to get pussy.  After college, most girls are just gold-digging whores.   

[The Miles Trahan Burger Experiment]

Phoenix, you are in college.  Forget about dates and restuarants.  Take her to the cafeteria.  Take her to a party and get her drunk.  Don't bother pursuing a relationship until you've had some sexual experience.  You probably need the confidence that will come with it.

Don't feel like you aren't being a gentlemen, or that any girl that is willing to fuck is a slut.  These are the last years in your life where it will be this easy to get pussy.  After college, most girls are just gold-digging whores.   

QFMFT