Evilbore's Presidential Election Thread --Its the Final COUNTDOWN Ba da ba baaaa

[Human Snorenado]

How the flipflying fuck can he be leading in such a goddamn poll?

Fuck that

Lies, damned lies, and statistics.

Q:  Who would do best job handling the economy?

[Bocsius]

Obama's going to start running an ad on the economy that runs 2 minutes long.

http://news.yahoo.com/s/politico/20080917/pl_politico/13529;_ylt=AhLFGOu5Qq9gZyWlthB8HUGs0NUE

Text of the ad:

"In the past few weeks, Wall Street’s been rocked as banks closed and markets tumbled. But for many of you – the people I’ve met in town halls, backyards and diners across America – our troubled economy isn’t news. 600,000 Americans have lost their jobs since January. Paychecks are flat and home values are falling. It’s hard to pay for gas and groceries and if you put it on a credit card they’ve probably raised your rates. You’re paying more than ever for health insurance that covers less and less.

“This isn’t just a string of bad luck. The truth is that while you’ve been living up to your responsibilities Washington has not. That’s why we need change. Real change. This is no ordinary time and it shouldn’t be an ordinary election. But much of this campaign has been consumed by petty attacks and distractions that have nothing to do with you or how we get America back on track.

“Here’s what I believe we need to do. Reform our tax system to give a $1,000 tax break to the middle class instead of showering more on oil companies and corporations that outsource our jobs. End the ‘anything goes’ culture on Wall Street with real regulation that protects your investments and pensions. Fast track a plan for energy ‘made-in-America’ that will free us from our dependence on mid-east oil in 10 years and put millions of Americans to work. Crack down on lobbyists – once and for all — so their back-room deal-making no longer drowns out the voices of the middle class and undermines our common interests as Americans.

“And yes, bring a responsible end to this war in Iraq so we stop spending billions each month rebuilding their country when we should be rebuilding ours. Doing these things won’t be easy. But we’re Americans. We’ve met tough challenges before. And we can again. I’m Barack Obama. I hope you’ll read my economic plan. I approved this message because bitter, partisan fights and outworn ideas of the left and the right won’t solve the problems we face today. But a new spirit of unity and shared responsibility will."

[Human Snorenado]

While that's well and good, Americans aren't going to sit there and listen to him for two minutes.  He needs to learn how to condense what he wants to get across in 10 words or less.  Obviously things are going well for him this week but the worm turns often leading up to election day and sooner or later Obama will be on the wrong side of the 8 ball again.  He needs to learn how to speak quickly and plainly.

[TakingBackSunday]

"Who's this heeeya blackie.  Shut him da fug up, I'ma trying to watch mah fooball!"

[Bocsius]

I think with the uncertainty, people might actually be a bit more attentive. Banks going belly up is pretty scary stuff. A long ad might not play with the public under usual circumstances, but these aren't usual circumstances.

I don't know, you're echoing criticism I heard for the first time over the weekend, about Obama not speaking in terms of quickly digested sound bytes. I've never thought of it that way, really. When I've heard Obama speak, despite being a registered Republican, I've heard a message that registers. When I've heard McCain speak, I've heard stuff that I find hard to believe. I've never really thought about it in terms of sound bytes, though.

[Brehvolution]

While that's well and good, Americans aren't going to sit there and listen to him for two minutes.  He needs to learn how to condense what he wants to get across in 10 words or less.  Obviously things are going well for him this week but the worm turns often leading up to election day and sooner or later Obama will be on the wrong side of the 8 ball again.  He needs to learn how to speak quickly and plainly.

Then people need to learn to slow down.

[Van Cruncheon]

i suggest:

<picture of buildings crumbling> WHOA THERE GOES YER 401K AND CREDIT AND CHANCE FOR HOME OWNERSHIP, AMERICA
<cut to shot of old grandmother weeping as thugs in suits wearing gop paraphernelia hurl her into the street> TOMORROW THEY COME FOR YOU. THE FOLKS YOU ELECTED IN 2000 AND 2004 MADE THIS HAPPEN.
<cut to a close-up of mccain smoking a cigar made of g-notes, sporting devil horns and cackling> "MAN I'M GLAD I CUT THAT DEAL WITH SATAN!"
<pull back to show his feet resting on a good ol' boy middle american white worker>
<broken white guy in a small voice> "i wish *i* hadn't..."
paid for by the obama '08 campaign.

man, i should form my own 527

[Human Snorenado]

While that's well and good, Americans aren't going to sit there and listen to him for two minutes.  He needs to learn how to condense what he wants to get across in 10 words or less.  Obviously things are going well for him this week but the worm turns often leading up to election day and sooner or later Obama will be on the wrong side of the 8 ball again.  He needs to learn how to speak quickly and plainly.

Then people need to learn to slow down.

No, people need to learn to THINK.  Since that's not about to happen, Professor Obama needs to learn how to speak Idiot.  Which is totally doable.

[Human Snorenado]

i suggest:

<picture of buildings crumbling> WHOA THERE GOES YER 401K AND CREDIT AND CHANCE FOR HOME OWNERSHIP, AMERICA
<cut to shot of old grandmother weeping as thugs in suits wearing gop paraphernelia hurl her into the street> TOMORROW THEY COME FOR YOU. THE FOLKS YOU ELECTED IN 2000 AND 2004 MADE THIS HAPPEN.
<cut to a close-up of mccain smoking a cigar made of g-notes, sporting devil horns and cackling>
<pull back to show his feet resting on a good ol' boy middle american white worker> "MAN I'M GLAD I CUT THAT DEAL WITH SATAN!"
<broken white guy in a small voice> "i wish *i* hadn't..."
paid for by the obama '08 campaign.

man, i should form my own 527

Prole

A Democratic dirty tricks 527 headed by Prole, Frag and myself would probably effectively destroy the Republican party.  LET'S DO THIS.

[Eric P]

you should just have a campaign series called "you got played"

show what the gop said
then what they did

end it with "you got played"

[The Fake Shemp]

THE GOP TOLD YOU THEY WOULD DECREASE OUR DEPENDENCY ON FORIEGN OIL. [cue Bush clip]

BUT TELL THAT TO YOUR GAS TANK.

YOU GOT PWNED!

Vote for Obama - he's 1337.

[Eric P]

so there's a link to a photobucket account of supposed screen shots from palin's super secret yahoo email address

[hyp]

are there any nudes?

[Eric P]

no

that would be hilariously awesome though

VP Sex Tape

her career would sky rocket

she could be the next paris hilton!

[hyp]

i'd go republican if that'd happen.  just for the circle jerks. 

[Kestastrophe]

so there's a link to a photobucket account of supposed screen shots from palin's super secret yahoo email address

I saved them all, not really sure if there was anything important in them.

[duckman2000]

It's extra hot because you know that if you happen to plant the dough, the bun will come out fresh mongo.

[The Fake Shemp]

McCain/Palin sex tape!

[TakingBackSunday]

Kestastrophe 

[Kestastrophe]

McCain/Palin sex tape!

I would fap to it

[I'm a Puppy!]

While that's well and good, Americans aren't going to sit there and listen to him for two minutes.  He needs to learn how to condense what he wants to get across in 10 words or less.  Obviously things are going well for him this week but the worm turns often leading up to election day and sooner or later Obama will be on the wrong side of the 8 ball again.  He needs to learn how to speak quickly and plainly.

10 words?

Hmmm "John Mccain voted to remove regulations on insurance companies. OMGLOOKWHATHAPPENED!"

[TakingBackSunday]

I know, polls lol, but still

Gallup: Obama +2

[MrAngryFace]

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2008/09/17/obama-takes-on-economy-pa_n_127021.html -- long commercial!

[hyp]

damnit, that video isn't loading for me.  :'(

[The Fake Shemp]

Awesome advertisement.

McCain will respond with an ad that is like:

"I don't need long winded speeches and two minutes to get my point across like my opponent - know this: Sarah Palin and I are mavericks and will fix this economy.  And we won't tax you, like the Democrats will, to do it!  America fuck yeah!"

[Tauntaun]

i suggest:

<picture of buildings crumbling> WHOA THERE GOES YER 401K AND CREDIT AND CHANCE FOR HOME OWNERSHIP, AMERICA
<cut to shot of old grandmother weeping as thugs in suits wearing gop paraphernelia hurl her into the street> TOMORROW THEY COME FOR YOU. THE FOLKS YOU ELECTED IN 2000 AND 2004 MADE THIS HAPPEN.
<cut to a close-up of mccain smoking a cigar made of g-notes, sporting devil horns and cackling> "MAN I'M GLAD I CUT THAT DEAL WITH SATAN!"
<pull back to show his feet resting on a good ol' boy middle american white worker>
<broken white guy in a small voice> "i wish *i* hadn't..."
paid for by the obama '08 campaign.

man, i should form my own 527

Needs more gaytop gay. 

[Mandark]

While that's well and good, Americans aren't going to sit there and listen to him for two minutes.  He needs to learn how to condense what he wants to get across in 10 words or less.  Obviously things are going well for him this week but the worm turns often leading up to election day and sooner or later Obama will be on the wrong side of the 8 ball again.  He needs to learn how to speak quickly and plainly.

"John McCain and the Republicans* let the banks write their own rules.  Look what happened."  Newspaper headlines about bank collapses, a couple of those scary downward trending stock market charts.

"John McCain and the Republicans** let credit card lobbyists write bankruptcy rules.  Look what happened."  Forclosure signs, white suburbanites despondently looking at their bills.

"John McCain, George Bush, and the Republicans*** said this war would be easy.  Look what it has cost us."  Wounded veterans, giant OVER 4,000 DEAD text, headlines about Joe Stiglitz's $2 trillion calculation.

"John McCain and his cronies stood in the way of new American energy sources.  Look where we are now."  Gas price signs, surly white people unhappily filling their tanks, Bush making out with that Saudi prince.

spoiler (click to show/hide)

*And Bill Clinton 

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spoiler (click to show/hide)

**And Joe Biden   

[close]

spoiler (click to show/hide)

***And more than half of the Democrats, including Obama's two biggest primary challengers and the two Senators who were on his VP shortlist 

[close]

[siamesedreamer]

John McCain and Clinton and Biden and Reid and PeLOLsi and the Taliban and the Shiites and the Yemenese and the...what the fuck are we talking about?

Obama = halo on his head

BOW TO HIM FUCKERS

[Van Cruncheon]

bipartisanship: NEVER GOOD.

[Phoenix Dark]

John McCain and Clinton and Biden and Reid and PeLOLsi and the Taliban and the Shiites and the Yemenese and the...what the fuck are we talking about?

Obama = halo on his head

BOW TO HIM FUCKERS

smh

[Van Cruncheon]

John McCain and Clinton and Biden and Reid and PeLOLsi and the Taliban and the Shiites and the Yemenese and the...what the fuck are we talking about?

Obama = halo on his head

BOW TO HIM FUCKERS

what are you on about

god, i vastly prefer the librul palin-induced identity politics meltdowns over these bizarre republican non-sequitur ones

[Van Cruncheon]

although i gotta admit, the fact that the republicans ushered in socialism far earlier than i'd ever hoped the democrats might is probably leading to some suicidal thinking in wingnut country

republicans

[Mandark]

sd making a serious bid for FoC's Dunning-Krueger crown.

Clinton was able to convince anyone inside of ten seconds flat that he really did care about that person and wanted to make his life better. Palin, a genius at the kind of narcissistic personal resentment that seems to be the Republican version of empathy, can get people from an astonishing range of American life to see themselves in her, so that they share her hatreds and want to smite her enemies. I suspect that the two most important questions facing us as we head into this next election, two questions that will not receive the attention they deserve because the mainstream media can't figure out a polite way to word them, are: how many white voters who aren't inclined to drive the country any further into the shit will finally be unable to bring themselves to vote for a black president, and how many people will identify with the ugliness in Sarah Palin to such a degree that they'll figure that whatever else happens to the country in the next four years, it'll be worth it so long as voting for her pisses off the right people.

Figured Prole at least would get a kick out of that quote.

[siamesedreamer]

Socialism = RepublicaDem-takeoverism...

FUCK - I give up. The DEMs might win this round.

I'm limply laying on the water waiting for Obama to rescue me...

SAVE ME BIG TALL BLACK MAN!!!

[Mr. Gundam]

SAVE ME BIG TALL BLACK MAN!!!

If this were GAF, that might be your new tag. 

[Phoenix Dark]

whats up with this bi-polar racism SD smh

[Olivia Wilde Homo]

Backlash is starting to kick in around my parts (Iowa).  Even my Republican friends admit that McCain's constant lying are annoying them.  Few people are talking about Palin.  Although Iowa probably never was going to McCain anyway.

I guess a silver lining to the financial disasters this week is that the economy is now a no-go zone for the GOP.  Its too easy for the Democrats to attack the Republicans on that issue.  I doubt DRILL BABY DRILL will suffice as a response for the cracker middle class, who are worried that their retirement funds might be ruined.

[Eric P]

Socialism = RepublicaDem-takeoverism...

FUCK - I give up. The DEMs might win this round.

I'm limply laying on the water waiting for Obama to rescue me...

SAVE ME BIG TALL BLACK MAN!!!

you've already been saved by a tall black man.  his name was jesus, the son of god.  maybe you've heard of him

[siamesedreamer]

BAH...I've been baited by Mandark.

Don't give a shit who votes. You win you win. You lose you lose.

Except ACORN.

[Olivia Wilde Homo]

Socialism = RepublicaDem-takeoverism...

FUCK - I give up. The DEMs might win this round.

I'm limply laying on the water waiting for Obama to rescue me...

SAVE ME BIG TALL BLACK MAN!!!

you've already been saved by a tall black man.  his name was jesus, the son of god.  maybe you've heard of him

Jesus is white.

[Mandark]

siamesedreamer may seem incoherent but his fundamentals are sound.

[Phoenix Dark]

"Executive abilities? She doesn't have any," said former Wasilla City Council member Nick Carney, who selected and groomed Palin for her first political race in 1992 and served with her after her election to the City Council.

Four years later, the ambitious Palin won the Wasilla mayor's office -- after scorching the "tax and spend mentality" of her incumbent opponent. But Carney, Palin's estranged former mentor, and others in city hall were astounded when they found out about a lavish expenditure of Palin's own after her 1996 election. According to Carney, the newly elected mayor spent more than $50,000 in city funds to redecorate her office, without the council's authorization.

Carney confronted Mayor Palin at a City Council hearing, and was shocked by her response.

"I braced her about it," he said. "I told her it was against the law to make such a large expenditure without the council taking a vote. She said, 'I'm the mayor, I can do whatever I want until the courts tell me I can't.'"

"I'll never forget it -- it's one of the few times in my life I've been speechless," Carney added. "It would have been easier for her to finesse it. She had the votes on the council by then, she controlled it. But she just pushed forward. That's Sarah. She just has no respect for rules and regulations."

http://www.salon.com/news/feature/20...7/palin_mayor/

she's like a female Kwame Kilpatrick, but instead of killing strippers she prefers killing moose

[Human Snorenado]

If she killed a stripper, the right would just love her more.  "She's tackling immorality head on!"

[Flannel Boy]

I'm limply laying on the water waiting for Obama to rescue me...

SAVE ME BIG TALL BLACK MAN!!!

I doubt that you're limp.

[siamesedreamer]

Backlash is starting to kick in around my parts (Iowa).  Even my Republican friends admit that McCain's constant lying are annoying them.  Few people are talking about Palin.  Although Iowa probably never was going to McCain anyway.

Jesus = white = Soviets = white= USA =vote for Obama?

Ayn Rand warned us against this shit...

[Van Cruncheon]

http://freakonomics.blogs.nytimes.com/2008/09/16/competing-tax-plans-two-perspectives/#more-3083

democrats reduce taxes for the majority of americans; republicans continue to foster socialist welfare plans for the upper-class

maybe i should switch parties!

(be sure to remind all yer republican pals WHO WILL BE PUTTING THEIR SUPPOSEDLY HARD-EARNED DOLLARS IN THEIR POCKETS, AND WHO IS PROVIDING WELFARE FOR THE ELITISTS)

[Human Snorenado]

It seems after today and yesterday the economy is going to be all that matters.  I predict the first candidate who goes off message on this goes down.

Well, McCain wasn't necessarily "off message", but he certainly didn't seem to be getting the memo that shit just got REAL. 

Also, it's funny that the first debate in Oxford, Mississippi was originally scheduled to be about domestic affairs but the Obama camp wanted it changed to foreign policy because they thought the location would bring race into it unnecessarily.  So the first debate will take the spotlight off of the economy when it would benefit Obama NOT to.  He better beat McCain like a drum or he could lose some momentum, although I guess it could be helpful now to have the LAST debate be the domestic policy one. 

Although who really knows what will happen in the next month and a half?  Hopefully more failures and bail outs!

[Phoenix Dark]

It seems after today and yesterday the economy is going to be all that matters.  I predict the first candidate who goes off message on this goes down.

Well, McCain wasn't necessarily "off message", but he certainly didn't seem to be getting the memo that shit just got REAL. 

Also, it's funny that the first debate in Oxford, Mississippi was originally scheduled to be about domestic affairs but the Obama camp wanted it changed to foreign policy because they thought the location would bring race into it unnecessarily.  So the first debate will take the spotlight off of the economy when it would benefit Obama NOT to.  He better beat McCain like a drum or he could lose some momentum, although I guess it could be helpful now to have the LAST debate be the domestic policy one. 

Although who really knows what will happen in the next month and a half?  Hopefully more failures and bail outs!

I'm sure he'll be harping on the economy despite it being a FP debate; imo he'll keep reminding people of how much we spend in Iraq each month vs the billions in oil surpluses they have.

[Van Cruncheon]

-500 + 150 - 450 = -800 for the dow this week. if that ain't real realz, i dunno what is, and i REALLY don't want mccain in the wh if all he can do is suggest "committees".

[Van Cruncheon]

Although who really knows what will happen in the next month and a half?  Hopefully more failures and bail outs!

mmmm, communism

[Human Snorenado]

-500 + 150 - 450 = -800 for the dow this week. if that ain't real realz, i dunno what is, and i REALLY don't want mccain in the wh if all he can do is suggest "committees".

These six words should scare the bejesus out of any American with a brain:  Secretary of the Treasury Phil Gramm.

mmmm, communism

communism!

[Human Snorenado]

Former National Review publisher endorses Obama.  SNAP!

Barack Obama is not my ideal candidate for president. (In fact, I made the maximum donation to John McCain during the primaries, when there was still hope he might come to his senses.) But I now see that Obama is almost the ideal candidate for this moment in American history. I disagree with him on many issues. But those don’t matter as much as what Obama offers, which is a deeply conservative view of the world. Nobody can read Obama’s books (which, it is worth noting, he wrote himself) or listen to him speak without realizing that this is a thoughtful, pragmatic, and prudent man. It gives me comfort just to think that after eight years of George W. Bush we will have a president who has actually read the Federalist Papers.

Most important, Obama will be a realist. I doubt he will taunt Russia, as McCain has, at the very moment when our national interest requires it as an ally. The crucial distinction in my mind is that, unlike John McCain, I am convinced he will not impulsively take us into another war unless American national interests are directly threatened.

[hyp]

IT BEGINS

[Van Cruncheon]

http://www.theonion.com/content/node/86415/1?slideshow=0

2nd and 3rd images are the best

[Human Snorenado]

So, now it looks like Palin had a direct role in charging women for their own rape kits after sexual assaults.

Now why would she want to do that?  Hmmm, let's see!

The new bill would also make law enforcement agencies that are investigating a sexual assault responsible for the costs of testing victims for sexually transmitted diseases and emergency contraception.

PRAISE THE LORD!

[WrikaWrek]

I'm seeing all these videos on MSNBC and shit, and people focus so much on Palin.

It's amazing, Palin ain't running for president, it's funny that she is now suddenly the face of the campaign 

[TakingBackSunday]

My friend says Obama's policies aren't that far off from Bush/McCain on foreign intervention and civil liberties.

I think he's just trying to use big words, what should I tell him

[tiesto]

Backlash is starting to kick in around my parts (Iowa).  Even my Republican friends admit that McCain's constant lying are annoying them.  Few people are talking about Palin.  Although Iowa probably never was going to McCain anyway.

I guess a silver lining to the financial disasters this week is that the economy is now a no-go zone for the GOP.  Its too easy for the Democrats to attack the Republicans on that issue.  I doubt DRILL BABY DRILL will suffice as a response for the cracker middle class, who are worried that their retirement funds might be ruined.

DRILL BABY DRILL!

NSFW:

spoiler (click to show/hide)

http://threadpit.com/store/product.php?productid=256&cat=0&page=1

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[Mandark]

Oh Lordy.  Two sentences that are dead giveaways someone doesn't have a clue:

"We should appoint a bipartisan commission to study the issue."

"I would appoint a policy czar."

It sounds very serious and thoughtful but it's really just passing the buck to someone else.  "We should find someone smart and have them figure it out."  If you're campaigning to run the country then it's an abdication of your duty to make decisions.

Besides it's not like these problems have a universally fair and painless solution just waiting for a bunch of old men to discover.  There are conflicting priorities and interests at work and it's the job of our political leaders to balance them, not to call on a mythical council of elders.  King Solomon ain't walking through that door.

http://firstread.msnbc.msn.com/archive/2008/09/16/1407200.aspx

“This morning, instead of offering up concrete plans to solve these issues, Sen. McCain offered up the oldest Washington stunt in the book – you pass the buck to a commission to study the problem,” [Obama] said to laughter from the crowd of about 2,200 people packed into a gym. “But here’s the thing – this isn’t 9/11. We know how we got into this mess. What we need now is leadership that gets us out.”

Looks like Obama's taking his talking points from me now.  Y'all better recognize.

[Van Cruncheon]

MAN who is DARK

it all fits

omg