Can we get back to talking about how Call Me By Your Name is a masterpiece.
Hmm, set in 83? How much piss guzzling and shit eating is there? Because I can really tell you what being gay was like in the early 80s.
Well the younger of the two
spoiler (click to show/hide)
fucks and jizzes into a juicy peach
Well that's bullshit. Let me feed you some truth.
In the early 80s, my time in NYC came to an end after an incident during my tenure as a YMCA wrestling coach led to a warrant being issued for me. I fled to the West Coast, and I did what I always did: I started from the bottom. San Diego.
One day, while browsing around the library in downtown San Diego, I had to take a piss. As I entered the john a big, beautiful all-American football hero type, about 25, came out of one of the booths. I stood at the urinal looking at him out of the corner of my eye as he washed his hands. He didn't once look at me. He was "straight" and married and in any case I was sure I wouldn't have a chance with him.
As soon as he left I darted into the booth he'd vacated, hoping there might be a lingering smell of his shit and even a seat still warm from his sturdy young ass. I found not only the smell but the shit itself. He'd forgotten to flush. And what a treasure he had left behind. Three or four beautiful specimens floated in the bowl. It apparently had been a fairly dry, constipated shit, for all were fat, stiff, and ruggedly textured. The real prize was a great feast of turd—a nine-inch gastrointestinal triumph as thick as a man's wrist.
I knelt before the bowl, inhaling the rich brown fragrance and wondering if I should obey the impulse building up inside me. I'd always been a heavy rimmer and had lapped up more than one little lump of shit, but that had been just an inevitable part of eating ass and not an end in itself. Of course I'd had jerk-off fantasies of devouring great loads of it (what rimmer hasn't), but I had never done it. Now, here I was confronted with the most beautiful five-pound turd I'd ever clapped my eyes on, a sausage fit to star in any fantasy and one I knew to have been hatched from the asshole of the world's handsomest young stud.
Why not? I plucked it from the bowl, holding it with both hands to keep it from breaking. I lifted it to my nose. It smelled like rich, ripe limburger (horrid, but thrilling), yet had the consistency of cheddar. What is cheese anyway but milk turning to shit without benefit of a digestive tract?
I gave it a lick and found that it tasted better than it smelled. I've found since then that shit nearly always does.
I hesitated no longer. I shoved the fucking thing as far into my mouth as I could get it and sucked on it like a big brown cock, beating my meat like a madman. I wanted to completely engulf it and bit off a large chunk, flooding my mouth with the intense, bittersweet flavor. To my delight I found that while the water in the bowl had chilled the outside of the turd, it was still warm inside. As I chewed I discovered that it was filled with hard little bits of something which I soon identified as undigested peanuts. He hadn't chewed them carefully and they'd passed through his body virtually unchanged. I ate it greedily, sending lump after peanutty lump sliding scratchily down my throat. My only regret was that the donor of this feast wasn't there to wash it down with his piss.
I soon reached a terrific climax. I caught my cum in the cupped palm of my hand and drank it down. Believe me, there is no more delightful combination of flavors than the hot sweetness of cum with the rich bitterness of shit.
After I had finished all that nasty, wonderful mess and had recovered myself I was sorry that I hadn't made it last longer. But then I realized that I still had a lot of fun in store for me. There was still a clutch of virile turds left in the bowl. I tenderly fished them out, rolled them into my handkerchief, and stashed them in my briefcase. In the week to come I found all kinds of ways to eat the shit without bolting it right down. Once eaten its gone forever unless you want to filch it third hand out of your own asshole. Not an unreasonable recourse in moments of desperation or simple boredom.
I stored the turds in the refrigerator when I was not using them but within a week they were all gone. The last one I held in my mouth without chewing, letting it slowly dissolve. I had liquid shit trickling down my throat for nearly four hours. I must have had at least six orgasms.
I often think of that lovely young guy dropping solid gold out of his sweet, pink asshole every day, never knowing what joy it could, and at least once did, bring to a grateful shit-eater.
So keep in mind, every time you use a public toilet and forget to flush, there's going to be a degenerate, like me or Tasty Meat or maybe even a younger, still confused Cindi, waiting to kneel down in front of that bowl with a big ol' grin on their face.
