god I think I just heard my roommate jerking off

[demi]

Then Himuro appeared and acted like a distinguished mentally-challenged fellow

And talked about RPGs

Cause he's stupid

[drohne]

'jesus himuro can't you see i'm shitting superaids out of my dicknipples' said brand new

'oh yeah!' said kool aid man

'i'm going to the park' said himuro

[TVC15]

Down in the park,  Himumu was a little less careful than usual, and he fell prey to one of the machmen's roving rape machines.  Every membrane was perforated before he could even make it into viewing distance of Zom Zoms.

[drohne]

attracted by the unmistakable compound odor of feces and semen tauntaun galloped across the atlantic on his fuckhippo leaving a trail of raped fish and marine mammals and zooplankton from the eastern seaboard to the riviera coast

[TVC15]

Upon arriving on the scene, Tauntaun ordered his mighty fuckhippo to lick Himuro's asshole.  Tauntaun, however, was too much in love with his hippo to remember that hippos are one of the most dangerous animals on earth.  In the process of rimming Himuro, the hungry hungry hippo bit Himu in half, from just below the stomach down.  Tauntaun vocally gasped as the hippo lifted his head, and a stream of bloody intestines and assorted viscera lead from its mouth to the remainder of Himuro's body.  The hippo roared with great might, drowning out the sounds of Himu praying to his false god Allah.

[drohne]

the smoke of himumu's (pbuh) smoking entrails rose even to allah's seat in heaven and allah found its scent most pleasing and himumu (pbuh) was promptly canonized as a prophet and martyr of the islamic faith and that boys and girls is why we still celebrate this day october 15 with ritual stonings and suicide bombings and child rapes and suchlike meet devotions to the almighty

and then the camera pans back from the madrassah and the twist is that it's in THE UNITED STATES OF THE FUTURE under the presidency of BARACK BIN OSAMA and it's built RIGHT ON TOP OF MOUNT RUSHMORE

[TVC15]

Barack bin Osama kisses his atheist wife, and she exits the  madrassah to go to the prison where the non-secret muslim, non-atheist female children are being held, trapped in a 15-foot deep pit.  She starts spraying a potent mix of gasoline and ether on the children, who at the time are discussing a current urban myth about saying "Himumu X" into a mirror 5 times, which supposedly summons a horny horny hippo to come and rape you to death.  This sounds acceptable in comparison to what Ms. Osama will be cooking, if she can get the match that she is now fumbling with lit.  One of the girls taking part in the discussion says, "I think I can help" as she pulls out a mirror-like shard of a broken DVD, one of the billions upon billions of DVDs used while manufacturing the disastrous 360 MGS port that ended up bankrupting Microsoft due to the cost of spending trillions of dollars to press the discs. 

[Flannel Boy]

Meanwhile, inside Abraham Lincoln's eye, there lies a secret sex dungeon, where pasty white women with large flabby asses are kept chained. There Obama picks up a horse whip and starts turning the womens' asses black and blue as he happily thinks about his long hard day of killing Christians and transforming South Dakota's Hutterite communities into Stalinist gulags.

[TVC15]

"Finally, Mother Islam has the prize it  has always been after," Barack  bin Osama says.  "The fly-over states are now yours, my master."  He bows before a giant, Soviet realism-influenced picture of Karl Marx wearing a magic turban.

[drozmight]

Meanwhile back in the prison... upon seeing the shard, Ms. Osama's face turns pale.  She stumbles for a moment and finally manages to recover the nearly whole disc she's kept near her heart all these years.  She confirms her worst fear.  The child's shard makes the disc whole again.  This child is her own.  Ms. Osama thinks back on the passionate night when this girl was conceived and screams out, "Not without my daughter!"  Sally Field suddenly appears...

[Flannel Boy]

Back in the sex dungeon. . . .

Helplessly bent over, Obama watches tauntaun enter the room with his hungry, horny hippo.

"It's over Obama" tauntaun says, "America is going to find out who the real BarIRAQ Mohamed Obama Hussein Osama is."

"The liberal media will never let that happen," Obama counters.

"You're right," Tauntaun concedes, " I guess I have no choice. Hippo, go get 'em!"

The hippo--hypnotized partly by "hope and change" and partly by the sight of Obama's firm, black buttocks--does not move an inch.

"I said go get 'em," Tauntaun yells, kicking the helpless hippo.

Reacting to the kick, the hippo runs forward. . . .

[drohne]

(this one was lame nevermind)

[Bildi]

Obama Sidious Palin Benedict XVII raised his head in staunch defiance to this new threat.  But unexpectedly, the hippo slipped on some of Malek's left-over ejaculate.  Sailing through the air with grace befitting a hippo, the massive beast came to an abrupt stop as Obama's head lodged firmly inside his sizeable rectum.

Taking his more-than-adequate member in hand, Tauntaun sighed deeply. "If you want a job done right, you have to do it yourself".

[Powerslave]

oh my god this thread is pure poetry

[Tauntaun]

UrbanDictionary

BrandNew: A lesson learned in divulging family secrets on the net.

[Flannel Boy]

Tauntaun--gently stroking his long, thick, glistening Viking cock--stepped behind the president and, after a slight moment of hesitation to take in the erotic scene, violently thrust his giant member inside the president's oval orifice.

[Tauntaun]

Tauntaun--gently stroking his long, thick, glistening Viking cock--stepped behind the president and, after a slight moment of hesitation to take in the erotic scene, violently thrust his giant member inside the president's oval orifice.

It's like black rage, except I'm white. 

[Bildi]

Obama's eyes bulged uncontrolably as Tauntaun reached the point of orgasm quickly and deliberately, thinking to himself "this feels like black rage, except I'm white"

"HOW DO YOU LIKE THAT MR PRESIDENT?!"

[Don Flamenco]

After cumming together for several minutes, Tauntaun handed Obama a napkin.  Obama awkwardly stumbled back and wiped his butt with napkin, then said "Thanks for the hospitality"

[Joe Molotov]

And then Brandnew woke up, and his sister told him to go back to bed because it was all just a bad dream. THE END.

[BamYouHaveAids]

brandnew, relieved, changed his urine soaked sheets. no longer marred by bad dreams he slept peacefuly in their bed for many years, until his sister popped out his deficient sister-daughter; this combination intrigued and excitied him.

[Flannel Boy]

Brandnew's child shared 75% of his genetic material; his grandchild, 87.5%; and his three-eyed, distinguished mentally-challenged great grandchild, 93.75%.

[Crushed]

BrandNew's 3rd wife/great-granddaughter/great niece/niece/daughter called to him from the other room.

"Sumfin' wrong wiff Billy," she said, adjusting the patch over her third eye.

"Oh God, does he have the distinguished mentally-challenged fellow too?" BrandNew replied from his easy chair, stained with the fluids of family orgies.

"No. He wear Mama's dress and say he girl!"

"..."


BrandNew put down his newspaper and stared ahead. A strange stirring in his loins confused him.

[demi]

on topic, i just jerked off like 15 minutes ago

[Madrun Badrun]

on topic, i just jerked off like 15 minutes ago

Five for me.  I win.

[Flannel Boy]

on topic, i just jerked off like 15 minutes ago

Five for me.  I win.

To this story?

[Madrun Badrun]

on topic, i just jerked off like 15 minutes ago

Five for me.  I win.

To this story?

No. 

[fistfulofmetal]

on topic, i just jerked off like 15 minutes ago

Five for me.  I win.

I'm currently jerking off. Video playing off just over there ------------------>

[Flannel Boy]

As Demi lay on the floor face down in cat-litter dreaming away about Brandnew's multi-generational incest, his cat had finally found the stick of cheddar cheese lodged in between his pale, acne-scarred buttocks.