141/101.
So I went to class today, despite being very tired. I figured there are three class sessions left, and this is really the last day of actual class, between review and exams and stuff.
I'm not sure exactly how much I groused about it here, but upon getting out of the hospital, one of the most daunting things facing me was that I had a significantly lengthy research paper due in approximately a week. I was operating in panic mode due to being under a lot of stress and anxiety due to being behind in work and at school and then the medical problems had me sweating bullets, so the paper got done in an incredibly half-assed manner. 15 pages written in the course of three sessions, the first dedicated to finding research, the second dedicated to mangling said research into a cohesive paper with a personally selected stance, and the third, about three to four hours before class, hammering out a terrible, terrible conclusion. Upon writing the last sentence, I was so filled with shame that I could not even read the paper for (really) the first time. It was so half-assed that I felt I'd probably be so ashamed if I read it that I would toss it out and not hand in anything.
Of note is that earlier in the semester, we had another paper. I put a good bit of effort into it. Got a 95.
But my half-assed paper got a fucking 99, and his final comment was that if my conclusion were rewritten with a bit less subjective language, it could just about be published.
The worst part of all this is that I was talking with classmates before class, mentioning that my paper was terrible and how I hoped he wouldn't have them graded in time to hand them back to us before the end of the quarter. I probably looked like the biggest goddamned nerdlinger ever when I got the highest score in the class.
And then, after class, one of the other students asked me if I'd help him on the take home essay exam questions. I am getting solicited to help students cheat.
So yeah, in the end, it was a big enough ego boost to make going to class worthwhile. Dissociative identity disorder ended up derailing class, though. I didn't get as much schizophrenia as advertised.