Life does not get better. You get better.
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Which brings us back to those restrictions we mentioned earlier, and our biggest gripe for the game thus far: in order to keep you from straying too far from where the developers want you to go, they’ve employed three of the most irritating mechanics ever put in a videogame. The first is “nuclear fallout,” a remnant of the bomb that was set off over Ascension City. It’s a clever explanation, but really it’s nothing more than blue haze reminiscent of the Kryptonite fog in Superman 64—only more annoying because it kills you almost instantly. Basically anytime you swing somewhere too far off the main path, nuclear fallout kicks in and you have precious few seconds to get back to safety. The problem? The size of the main path varies—sometimes you can navigate around entire buildings; sometimes your path is limited down a narrow street. And the restriction isn’t limited to horizontal movement—sometimes going too high or too low will kill you as well, and rappelling to the top of any given building will sometimes reward you in finding ammo or a collectible, or at other times a near-instant death.The second restrictive mechanic is water, and also has a reasonable explanation: your bionic arm is so heavy that your character can’t swim. The result is as cheap as it was six years ago in GTA III—fall in the water and you lose all mobility, drowning within seconds. If you’re lucky enough to be near a grab-able structure you can pull yourself to safety, but you drown so fast that most times you won’t have a chance to re-orient yourself before you’re staring at a game over screen. Which makes us wonder—why does a Bionic Commando have the lung capacity of an under-developed fetus?The final restriction is fire, and although it thankfully appears much less often, getting even remotely close to flames will kill you instantly. We’re talking s’more-roasting distance, and after a couple of quick and inexplicable deaths, we soon acquired a Frankenstein-like aversion to fireAll three of these restrictions combine to result in some frustrating, confusing moments that make you feel more like a fragile child than a super warrior. Combat only left us feeling more inferior—while character movement and aiming is decent enough, Bionic Commando features an absurdly large targeting reticule that makes it feel more like you’re framing enemies for a picture than making pinpoint ballistic attacks.
Will get at $20.
