Wal-Mart Bingo

[Fragamemnon]

Saw this over at my wargamer boards (sort of strange because those folks are often nutter conservatives) and thought it was amusing, and VERY true, especially if you go to a brand new rural one anywhere in the South:



Disgusting, awful place. Thank god target showed up and has made huge general stores much less revolting.

[Eel O'Brian]

the wal-mart across from where i live is surprisingly clean (mostly college students shop there), but i have seen almost every single one of the things listed on that bingo card at the one across town

[muckhole]

It's pretty funny just how many of those apply just fine to the rural north. In fact I'd be hard-pressed to think of any that wouldn't make the cut up here in rural Canada (including the "rebel flag" shirt, oddly), possibly with the exception of "white girl with 3+ multi-racial children".

[Mr. Gundam]

It's not just the South. You can go to any of the Wal-Marts in the towns outside Seattle and find all of these people.

[Olivia Wilde Homo]

The spelling on that Bingo card is atrocious.

They also missed out the "mother screaming at her children" entry.

[Mr. Gundam]

They also left off "obese woman with a thong sticking out the back of her pants."

[etiolate]

bottom row is money

[Great Rumbler]

the wal-mart across from where i live is surprisingly clean (mostly college students shop there), but i have seen almost every single one of the things listed on that bingo card at the one across town

The ones in my area aren't too bad. Not the ideal place to shop, but bearable in small doses.

However, I went to one in Arkansas that made me fear for my life. It was filled to the brim with scary white-trash, hillbilly-types. You know, lots of wife beaters, missing teeth, stained clothing, and so on. Couldn't get out of there fast enough.

[pilonv1]

They're missing pregnant teenager with first child in pram

[BlackMage]

needs a space for someone dragging their colostomy bag around

[dammitmattt]

I have a fantastic local Wal-Mart near the rich white people and I also LOVED the one in my small college town.  However, there are more than enough shitty ones to make up for it.

HOWEVER, nothing has come close to how awful the Wal-Marts in California are.  And I live in Alabama.

[Saint Cornelius]

have any of you fucking people ever left the house?

i mean, lolz wal-mart. but if you live on your own, you're going to wal-mart. yes there are freaks there but omg bubbleboiz, there are freaks everyfuckingwhere.

how you say, "smh"

[AdmiralViscen]

I'll take my Trader Joe's hippies and BestBuy nerds over Walmart smelly mouth breathers.

[Akala]

Wal Mart sucks. We avoid if possible, but it's cheap. Don't think the chain is widespread, but Albertsons is about as cheap as Wal Mart if you shop the specials. The produce also lasts more than a day.

I think the dealbreaker with Wal Mart is the lines. Back when I was in school, we'd go around midnight (or later) and do all of our shopping with next to no one in the store, and minimal lines. Now that we have jobs, going that late really isn't an option (unless we want to kill a weekend night lol). At Wal Mart, you almost have to grab a magazine or something for the lines because people watching there tends to be depressing.

I'd rather spend an extra $15 on groceries than spend an extra 20 minutes in line. My tune may change in a few weeks though.  :'(

[Bloodwake]

This card is missing

-people judging you while you try to buy condoms/beer
-people smoking inside the store
-shirtless man with mullet and tattoos
-unattended mentally distinguished mentally-challenged people aimlessly wondering around the store
-someone that smells like ass from ten-fifteen feet away
-an employee in the store telling you they don't have an item they clearly have an overstock of.

[Eel O'Brian]

wal-mart has some extremely shady business practices, but they are dirt cheap

$1.27 fig newtons

[Eel O'Brian]

also, mutants don't rise early, sunlight burns their skin

tuesday morning grocery shopping

[Arbys Roast Beef Sandwich]

$1.27 fig newtons

Truth be told, their store-brand iced oatmeal cookies are surprisingly delicious.

[Olivia Wilde Homo]

I shop at Walmart these days because most of the shit I buy is name brand anyway.  If I buy a pack of Mach 3 razors, it doesn't matter if I get it at Walmart or Target; it is all being made in the same sweatshop with employees who makes 5 cents an hour.  Only I save a couple of bucks with one store and not the other.  Trendy advertising and slightly less trashy clientele doesn't make up for the hundreds of dollars of annual savings per year.

[E-DuB]

Hell I was in a Wal-Mart just over an hour ago and I saw no less than FOUR of those!

[Beezy]

NYC doesn't have any Walmarts and probably never will.

NYC

[BlackMage]

NYC doesn't have any Walmarts and probably never will.

NYC

yeah but NYC has beezy... -50 points to griffendorf

[border]

I know it's just a joke, but I'd love to play this with friends....obviously it would be pointless/impossible if everyone is using the same card.  Do we have any programmers here that can write a script to generate randomized cards with all the descriptions in different positions on the board? 

It'd be super-easy to make up new descriptions to make the game a little more interesting too....."Teenage mother with boyfriend who has 2 tattoo sleeves" would be my first suggestion. 

[Beezy]

NYC doesn't have any Walmarts and probably never will.

NYC

yeah but NYC has beezy... -50 points to griffendorf

People like me!

[max_cool]

have any of you fucking people ever left the house?

i mean, lolz wal-mart. but if you live on your own, you're going to wal-mart.

Nope. Haven't been to Wal-Mart in five years, I've lived on my own those five years, the neighborhood supermarket, Target, and Kohl's, does just fine.

Have you fucking ever shopped somewhere else?

[E-DuB]

NYC doesn't have any Walmarts and probably never will.

NYC

yeah but NYC has beezy... -50 points to griffendorf

[Mr. Gundam]

have any of you fucking people ever left the house?

i mean, lolz wal-mart. but if you live on your own, you're going to wal-mart. yes there are freaks there but omg bubbleboiz, there are freaks everyfuckingwhere.

how you say, "smh"

I live on my own. Well, with my wife, but still we NEVER go to to Wal-mart. Probably helps that there aren't any in Seattle city limits.

[ToxicAdam]

I must confess that I am an avid Wal-mart shopper for groceries. It's 5 minutes from my house and cheaper than anywhere else (never buy produce there, though!) I usually go around 9pm when it's empty, but the wierdo factor increases 10 fold.


"Obese person (usually under 40 years old) on scooter" is always a constant. In fact, Wal-Mart should just have a fleet of scooters to serve their customer base.

"Woman shopping with 2 year old at midnight" is another favorite. Who the fuck are these parents that have infants up past 10 o'clock?

"Car in parking lot stuffed full of shit." I see a lot of the people living out of their car (or OCD collect-aholics) late at night.

"Grandma camped at photo kiosk doing all her photoshop work on her 500 photos." Fuuuuuck lady, I just want to blow up one photo to an 8x10. I don't have time to wait 2 hours.

[Bloodwake]

Just think about going to Wal-Mart in Kentucky. That's all I'm going to say.

You guys have it easy. There's no "tuesday morning shopping." In fact, I would say most of the frightening people are out at around six or seven in the morning.

Wal-Mart is a human ash tray.

[chronovore]

I'll take my Trader Joe's hippies and BestBuy nerds over Walmart smelly mouth breathers.

I'm your huckleberry. When stateside, I'm the very definition of a Trader Joe's freezer section and wine-aisle lurker. I crop up on the Random Encounter Table with disgusting frequency.

[Brehvolution]

My local walmart just built a super walmart about 1 mile away from itself, just across town line for tax benefits. It's mammoth, but then I figure they have to accommodate 2 300 pounders being able to waddle by each other in an aisle.

Does anyone else see inside a morbidly obese person's cart want to point out to them that they are that way because of that shit in their cart. But I figure they keep themselves plump to say they are disabled and collect checks for staying fat. 

[archie4208]

I hate going to Wal-Mart any time past noon because so many people think it is a social gathering instead of a place to buy your shit.  Stop clogging the aisles you fucking blobs.

[Tauntaun]

NYC doesn't have any Walmarts and probably never will.

NYC

yeah but NYC has beezy... -50 points to griffendorf

People like me!

 

[lordmaji]

I have a fantastic local Wal-Mart near the rich white people and I also LOVED the one in my small college town.  However, there are more than enough shitty ones to make up for it.

HOWEVER, nothing has come close to how awful the Wal-Marts in California are.  And I live in Alabama.

The one here in Gadsden AL fits all of those. I think I've seen that all here.

[tehjaybo]

You know... you may think that wal-mart is a pretty bad place for seeing all this shit...  but I want to see the bingo card for the All-You-Can-Eat buffet on the first of the month.

[Bloodwake]

You know... you may think that wal-mart is a pretty bad place for seeing all this shit...  but I want to see the bingo card for the All-You-Can-Eat buffet on the first of the month.

The difference is that most of us aren't forced to go to an all you can eat buffet because it's the only restaurant in town.

[Bloodwake]

How does that make me racist? Most of the people I'm talking about are white.

[tehjaybo]

I didn't say anything about someone being forced to go anywhere.  No one is forced to go to Wal-Mart.  They go because it is more convenient.  No one physically walks you in there and makes you suffer though the inbred morons.

[tehjaybo]

Poor people should riot against rich fucks that despise them

We'd just hire someone to fight for us. 

[T234]

Just think about working at Wal-Mart in Kentucky. I would say I've shuddered more violently, but I'd be lying..

You guys Bloodwake included have it easy. There's no "Anytime shopping." In fact, I would say there is no shortage of awfulness or despair. The cheeriest people are the dudes of third shift, because they smoke the most weed. The photo lab's equipment continually breaks, like yesterday. You would think Fuji would be better about calling you back after buying tens of thousands of dollars worth of equipment from them but no. In other, brighter news; the chicks on IBM's tech support have the sexiest voices on the phone ever. Toxicadam is completely right about the old ladies thinking the Kiosks have photoshop on them. Take solace in the fact that they pay a really high price for their pictures, like twice as much as what they would be to get them in an hour..

Wal-Mart is a human ash tray only with more vomit.

FIXT

[Saint Cornelius]

Have you fucking ever shopped somewhere else?

Nope, just fucking Wal-Mart!

[Yeti]

I could usually get several bingos at my Orlando Walmart before I've even made it through the parking lot into the store.

[chronovore]

I cannot believe how racist all of you are. Are all Americans that racists? Hating on obese, poor, ugly, unemployed, homeless people just because they do shopping in the same place as you do?

I hope Iran nukes your racist asses from the orbit

It's not racist, it's classist. Now screw off, you dirty poor.
(typed from a gold iPhone from my private tennis court)

[Van Cruncheon]

i have a good rant about wal-mart somewhere-ish

hey corny, could you pull it out of the gaf archive for me

[border]

i have a good rant about wal-mart somewhere-ish

hey corny, could you pull it out of the gaf archive for me

I think I remember it.  Did you use the the phrase "failure train" to describe the procession of toddlers that follows a young mother behind her shopping cart?

[Eel O'Brian]

wal-mart is the only store i can wear my painting clothes into and feel overdressed

[Bloodwake]

wal-mart is the only store i can wear my painting clothes into and feel overdressed

I really want to just wear boxer shorts to Wal-Mart one day.

[Great Rumbler]

wal-mart is the only store i can wear my painting clothes into and feel overdressed

I really want to just wear boxer shorts to Wal-Mart one day.

I'm sure no one would even notice.

[EmCeeGrammar]

the wal-mart across from where i live is surprisingly clean (mostly college students shop there), but i have seen almost every single one of the things listed on that bingo card at the one across town

The ones in my area aren't too bad. Not the ideal place to shop, but bearable in small doses.

However, I went to one in Arkansas that made me fear for my life. It was filled to the brim with scary white-trash, hillbilly-types. You know, lots of wife beaters, missing teeth, stained clothing, and so on. Couldn't get out of there fast enough.

I'm from Arkansas. Which city?  Were you in pulaski county?

[BlueTsunami]

What is it about Target that feels high brow compared to Wal-Mart? I mean, as far as keeping the unwashed away? My local Target usually has normal blue collar people... I guess its the strategic placement of my local Wal-Mart (its more going out towards the boonies).

[EmCeeGrammar]

Isn't Walmart always cheaper than Target?  The proletariat will always gravitate there no matter how far out of the way it is.  Or free food.

  I work at IHOP.  We have a free pancakes day.  Brings the uglies out of the woodwork like mad.  Never see them again until next year.

edit: I personaly use Walmart as a last resort.  If you catch me on an day off from work I'll be the chubby one with mismatched wrinkly clothes and a two day neckbeard.

[DJ_Tet]

It's cheaper but not by more than 1-2% on whole I'd say.  The 'price difference' between Wal Mart and Target is largely asthetic.

[chronovore]

Isn't Walmart always cheaper than Target?  The proletariat will always gravitate there no matter how far out of the way it is.  Or free food.

  I work at IHOP.  We have a free pancakes day.  Brings the uglies out of the woodwork like mad.  Never see them again until next year.

edit: I personaly use Walmart as a last resort.  If you catch me on an day off from work I'll be the chubby one with mismatched wrinkly clothes and a two day neckbeard.

What's the motivation behind that? Hoping they'll buy a six-pack of syrup on the way out?

[BlueTsunami]

This thread reminds me of the last time I was at Wal-Mart. They must have been serving juice to people coming in earlier but the setup was made up of a fold out table and some plastic cups thrown about (the containers of juice were just two jugs of apple juice, still sitting there with a small bit of liquid left). No employees cleaned up the small area near the entrance and it just looked so trashy.

[Great Rumbler]

the wal-mart across from where i live is surprisingly clean (mostly college students shop there), but i have seen almost every single one of the things listed on that bingo card at the one across town

The ones in my area aren't too bad. Not the ideal place to shop, but bearable in small doses.

However, I went to one in Arkansas that made me fear for my life. It was filled to the brim with scary white-trash, hillbilly-types. You know, lots of wife beaters, missing teeth, stained clothing, and so on. Couldn't get out of there fast enough.

I'm from Arkansas. Which city?  Were you in pulaski county?

Mena.

[dammitmattt]

It's cheaper but not by more than 1-2% on whole I'd say.  The 'price difference' between Wal Mart and Target is largely asthetic.

That's not true.  You should add some zeros to your numbers.  I shop almost exclusively at Target and Publix now since my closest Wal-Mart is disgusting, but I definitely notice the impact on my budget.  If you were to take any random sampling of 50 products, I guarantee that Wal-Mart would be 10-15% cheaper.

Now the question is - is it worth that extra 10-15% to shop in a nicer environment?  It wasn't when I was a dirty poor, but now that I'm a dirty middle-classer, I'm perfectly fine paying the premium.

[Akala]

Isn't Walmart always cheaper than Target?  The proletariat will always gravitate there no matter how far out of the way it is.  Or free food.

  I work at IHOP.  We have a free pancakes day.  Brings the uglies out of the woodwork like mad.  Never see them again until next year.

I think free pancake day would be the last day I'd ever work at IHOP. Down here, lines wrap around the building for those. Working that must be like working at a poboy shop during lent, which is to say, living hell.

There is just a different mentality at work with poor people, not to be terribly elitist. There is no point at which standing in line for an hour plus seems reasonable to save $10-15 on pancakes. If you are that stressed for cash, buy some mix for less than $3 and make them at your fucking house for a fraction of the price. In fact, do it all year. No offense MC, but IHOP isn't even that good.

Also, the Targets here are pretty much just as bad as WalMarts.

[Eel O'Brian]

how am i a snob, i shop at wal-mart

it's impossible not to notice the clientele, however

you can avert your eyes, but there's no way to turn off your sense of smell

[DJ_Tet]

It's cheaper but not by more than 1-2% on whole I'd say.  The 'price difference' between Wal Mart and Target is largely asthetic.

That's not true.  You should add some zeros to your numbers.  I shop almost exclusively at Target and Publix now since my closest Wal-Mart is disgusting, but I definitely notice the impact on my budget.  If you were to take any random sampling of 50 products, I guarantee that Wal-Mart would be 10-15% cheaper.

Now the question is - is it worth that extra 10-15% to shop in a nicer environment?  It wasn't when I was a dirty poor, but now that I'm a dirty middle-classer, I'm perfectly fine paying the premium.

Prices have gone up everywhere in the last year, did you take that into account?

My price differential is based on basic items and it was done by a local newscast.  It's laughable to think there is a 10-15% difference between Walmart and Target.  It's just not true.  Do you even realize the margins a 10-15% difference would make?  That's more like the difference between Walmart and Pier One.

[Akala]

You guys are some serious snobs.

I think I'm more anti-stupid. In general, idiot poor are more tolerable than idiot rich.

spoiler (click to show/hide)

They smell worse though!

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