Avatar: Willco still hates it

[TakingBackSunday]

"dame"

[ManaByte]

Soundtrack is pretty "meh" so far.

[Rman]

I don't pay to see movies anymore

you gave me shit for pirating slumdog millionaire

what you do is virtually the dame effect wise

hypocrisy is awesome

Did you even read his reply?

Off Topic: I don't know why anyone would be hyped for Sherlock Holmes to be honest.  I can understand why nerds on the internet are going insane for Avatar--3d tech, Cameron, etc., but Sherlock Holmes? 

[ManaByte]

Because it's Sherlock Holmes? And finally a version showing elements of Holmes that no other adaptation has ever shown?

[Diunx]

Just six days cannot fucking wait.

[Rman]

Because it's Sherlock Holmes? And finally a version showing elements of Holmes that no other adaptation has ever shown?

I'm not saying it's not going to be a good movie.  I just don't see the wide range appeal. 

[The Fake Shemp]

It's pop-cinema, trailer promises action, it has Robert Downey Jr., etc.

It'll do well. The studio is very confident. Not that means it's a sure-fire winner, but with its marketing budget, I think it'll do nicely. Especially if Avatar turns out to be as overrated as many here have expected.

[Human Snorenado]

Avatar is going to be the Wii of cinema- hyped to the mainstream as "the next big thing", etc etc.  It is going to do gangbusters, wait and see.

[The Fake Shemp]

Oh, I know that's how it's being marketed, but if it fails to live it up to the hype, I plan to see the same drop-off that accompanied Peter Jackson's King Kong when folks were heralding that as "the next big thing".

I'm not sold on Avatar.

[Solo]

King Kong is 3 hours of masturbation, without climax.

[Human Snorenado]

Cameron is a WAY better film maker than Peter Jackson, tho.

[CajoleJuice]

King Kong was terrible.

[CajoleJuice]

The two posts above this one are true.

[The Fake Shemp]

 

King Kong was like Chinese water torture. How do you take one of the most iconic monster films of all-time and make it boring?

Answer:

spoiler (click to show/hide)

Hire Peter Jackson.

[close]

Cameron is a WAY better film maker than Peter Jackson, tho.

Ten years ago, I would have agreed with you.

Filmmaking is not lot riding a bike, and I think Cameron actually has to prove himself. Avatar feels a lot like King Kong all over again - hyped December release that was the director's personal pet project for years. Probably will be just as bloated. I don't think I can recall a Cameron film that doesn't drag in spots, and I believe that will only be exacerbated by his downtime.

[Crushed]

http://rogerebert.suntimes.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20091211/REVIEWS/912119998

And Cameron and his artists succeed at the difficult challenge of making Neytiri a green-skinned giantess with golden eyes and a long, supple tail, and yet--I'll be damned. Sexy.

 
 

[drew]

How is stealing from creators the same as legally viewing creators' material as a byproduct of working in the industry? My job depends on viewing this material, yours doesn't.

all i hear is "two people that dont pay for movies anymore"

[Great Rumbler]

Ebert bringing the Real Talk!

Here's the rest of the reviews from the top critics:

A movie whose effects are clearly revolutionary, a spectacle that millions will find adventure in. But it nevertheless feels unsatisfying and somehow lacks the pulse of a truly alive film.

If your exhilaration with the (approximate) first half is undercut by an increasingly deflating pffffftttt sound, Cameron nonetheless has delivered the screen’s most anticipated and persuasive blend of live-action and motion-capture animation to date.

As visual spectacle, Avatar is indelible, but as a movie it all but evaporates as you watch it.

A bit mixed, and make it clear that the movie is far from perfect, but positive for the most part.

[Diunx]

Haters annihilated  by Cameron like always

[The Fake Shemp]

Does the Chicago Sun Times not employ copy editors anymore? I spotted at least two typos in that Ebert review.

EDIT: Holy shit, there are a handful of typos. What the hell?

[The Fake Shemp]

Haters annihilated  by Cameron like always

... so basically the reviews say, "It looks pretty, but that's about it."

Yeah, sounds like everyone was proven wrong.

[The Fake Shemp]

Probably. I will make it an 80-minute spectacle.

[CajoleJuice]

Does the Chicago Sun Times not employ copy editors anymore? I spotted at least two typos in that Ebert review.

EDIT: Holy shit, there are a handful of typos. What the hell?

I might be awesome in True IMAX.

[The Fake Shemp]

Yeah, that has to be the worst written review I've ever read by Ebert. I think Cameron killed him and installed a plant, just to get his damn four stars.

[The Fake Shemp]

Like what does this even mean?

Avatars are not be made of Na'vi flesh, but try explaining that to charging 30-ton rhino with a snout like a bullet head shark...

I might be awesome in True IMAX.

It takes a hell of a lot of nerve for a man to stand up at the Oscarcast and proclaim himself King of the World.

There are also two or three sentences with bizarre structure.

... where is Father_Mike?

[Barry Egan]

hasn't half of Roger Eberts face melted off at this point?  Cut him some slack.

[The Fake Shemp]

I do not recall any of his most recent stuff being this bad. Maybe he was rushed to make print deadline, but - wow! - I expect more from a Pulitzer winner.

[CajoleJuice]

Pandora is bevy largely CGI.

[CajoleJuice]

hasn't half of Roger Eberts face melted off at this point?

[Diunx]

His mind was blown willco, give him sometime to recuperate.

[The Fake Shemp]

Pandora is bevy largely CGI.

Yeah, uh.... yeah. Ebert, what happened? I mean this was the same guy who wrote one of the best film reviews of all-time.

But [Rob] Schneider is correct, and Patrick Goldstein has not yet won a Pulitzer Prize. Therefore, Goldstein is not qualified to complain that Columbia financed "Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo" while passing on the opportunity to participate in "Million Dollar Baby," "Ray," "The Aviator," "Sideways" and "Finding Neverland." As chance would have it, I have won the Pulitzer Prize, and so I am qualified. Speaking in my official capacity as a Pulitzer Prize winner, Mr. Schneider, your movie sucks.

Best use of a Pulitzer ever.

[Barry Egan]

I am bevy largely growing interested in seeing A V A T A R after reading all these luke-warm to positive reviews! 

[Mandark]

Let's pretend I quotemined all the times Willco's brought up Ebert's review to support his arguments, then posted a laughing smiley.

[Barry Egan]

then posted a laughing smiley.

are you thinking of the right poster?

[The Fake Shemp]

Let's pretend I quotemined all the times Willco's brought up Ebert's review to support his arguments, then posted a laughing smiley.

Hey, we normally jive together. I didn't discount anything he said, other than it was horribly written. Even you have to agree with me on that.

[Great Rumbler]

If you didn't like King Kong, you should pretty much just stop watching or talking about movies for the rest of your existence.

King Kong had its moments, and looked great, but it was way too long.

[The Fake Shemp]

King Kong was so long that it became offensive. It's about a giant fucking ape. C'mon, let's get real.

[CajoleJuice]

You people would probably call three hour sex with Adriana Lima way too long.

Didn't she proclaim to be a virgin until she got married? She probably sucks at it.

[Great Rumbler]

The extended edition of King Kong added another 15 minutes. 

[The Fake Shemp]

The extended edition of King Kong added another 15 minutes. 

Peter Jackson is a sadist.

[The Fake Shemp]

Didn't someone make a fan edit of King Kong that was a lot shorter? I remember hearing about that.

[Mandark]

What I want from Evilbore for Christmas:

*  "Himuro fights the existential crisis" as a sticky thread

*  "Green Shinobi praises stuff way out of proportion" as a sticky thread

*  "Jinfash torments Kosma with Photoshop" as a sticky thread

*  Manabyte stripped of the ignore function

[The Fake Shemp]

You want to ignore ManaByte or you want to strip ManaByte of the ability to ignore people?

[Human Snorenado]

You people would probably call three hour sex with Adriana Lima way too long.

If she laid there and cried during the sex, then yeah.

[tiesto]

In 2 weeks it will hover around 75% on RT. Then it will go even lower.

Name me 1 reputable movie critic that would admit to liking a furry movie.

There's bound to be some reputable movie critics in here:
http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/1197696-fantastic_mr_fox/

(just saw this tonight and it was really good)

[Mandark]

you want to strip ManaByte of the ability to ignore people?

This one.

[The Fake Shemp]

you want to strip ManaByte of the ability to ignore people?

This one.

You think he ignores you?

[Human Snorenado]

Can you strip TVC, Patel, duckman, Debaser and Ganyhun of their ignore ability too while you're at it?

pro-tip: make fewer shitty posts.  not even gonna charge you for that info, bro.

[ToxicAdam]

I don't think Avatar will cross the 300 million mark because it's marketing doesn't appeal to women.

[The Fake Shemp]

TVC nailed it:

Those reviews from the past few days stink of "Put my ejaculatory blurb on your movie poster, Mr. Cameron!"

[OptimoPeach]

I don't think Avatar will cross the 300 million mark because it's marketing doesn't appeal to women.

Nothing dries up a vagina like CG aliens

[ToxicAdam]

I don't think Avatar will cross the 300 million mark because it's marketing doesn't appeal to women.

Nothing dries up a vagina like CG aliens

Cameron could have easily made Jude Law or Matthew McCaughney the lead. Would have made the "sell" to your significant other much easier.

[border]

Let's pretend I quotemined all the times Willco's brought up Ebert's review to support his arguments, then posted a laughing smiley.

Hey, we normally jive together. I didn't discount anything he said, other than it was horribly written. Even you have to agree with me on that.

Cameron and his artists succeed at the difficult challenge of making Neytiri a blue-skinned giantess with golden eyes and a long, supple tail, and yet--I'll be damned. Sexy.

 

I don't read many Ebert reviews, but oftentimes when I do he's always making some creepy comment about how female cast members look.  I don't know if that should be allowed once the reviewer gets past a certain age.

[Solo]

How the fuck can anyone call one of the most action-packed films of all time boring?

 a movie that had some of the best directing of this decade?

 

  to the first sentence
  x infinity to the second

[The Fake Shemp]

Solo

[Great Rumbler]

Right now there's 38 reviews in all and 34 of them are categorized as positive. Average rating is 7.8 out of 10.

[CajoleJuice]

Let's pretend I quotemined all the times Willco's brought up Ebert's review to support his arguments, then posted a laughing smiley.

Hey, we normally jive together. I didn't discount anything he said, other than it was horribly written. Even you have to agree with me on that.

Cameron and his artists succeed at the difficult challenge of making Neytiri a blue-skinned giantess with golden eyes and a long, supple tail, and yet--I'll be damned. Sexy.

 

I don't read many Ebert reviews, but oftentimes when I do he's always making some creepy comment about how female cast members look.  I don't know if that should be allowed once the reviewer gets past a certain age.

Reminds me of this twitter post he made:

http://twitter.com/ebertchicago/status/6489513128

A critic who dismisses the role of an actor's physical appearance in a performance will date just about anyone.

[Phoenix Dark]

Seems like our analysis has been confirmed: Avatar is nothing more than a glorified tech demo

[Human Snorenado]

Seems like our analysis has been confirmed: Avatar is nothing more than a glorified tech demo

Yes, a 90% fresh rating sure means it's nothing more than a tech demo. 

Dude, Revenge of the Sith had something like an 85% fresh rating.  REVENGE OF THE SITH.  Just saying.

[Phoenix Dark]

the reviews boil down to "wow this is so pretty, it's definitely something you must see with your own eyes. oh yea the story/acting sucks but hey, look at those cool blue people"

[Great Rumbler]

Seems like our analysis has been confirmed: Avatar is nothing more than a glorified tech demo

Yes, a 90% fresh rating sure means it's nothing more than a tech demo. 

Dude, Revenge of the Sith had something like an 85% fresh rating.  REVENGE OF THE SITH.  Just saying.

It got 80% and an average rating of 7.2 out of 10. Top critics were only 69% positive and gave it an average of 6.7/10.

The six top critics that have weighed in on Avatar give it 100% positive reviews an average rating of 7.6/10

the reviews boil down to "wow this is so pretty, it's definitely something you must see with your own eyes. oh yea the story/acting sucks but hey, look at those cool blue people"

I've seen quite a few reviews mention that most of the performances are really good.