Author Topic: Texts from my mom (Read 10735 times)

TakingBackSunday · « **on:** January 12, 2010, 03:25:25 PM »

Me: The bug is under a dirty pan in the sink. It hasn't moved since last night.
Mom: KILL IT. You need to get some traps or spray, or both! Did you find out about your mail?
Me: Yeah it came, got my newest netflix dvd. Woot
Mom: Sweet. Smush the bug so he doesn't reproduce and overtake you like a swarm of orcs.
Me: wtf mom orcs? Is Dad watching Lord of the Rings again? And besides, the bug is fucking huge, it's going to make a mess, I need to find other means.
Mom: Grow a pair.
Mom again: Send me a picture of it, pussy.

:'(

Vizzys · « **Reply #1 on:** January 12, 2010, 03:27:06 PM »

your mom sounds pretty awesome

Phoenix Dark · « **Reply #2 on:** January 12, 2010, 03:28:08 PM »

long texts. likely a fake story

Post pics of mom to prove your story

Flannel Boy · « **Reply #3 on:** January 12, 2010, 03:30:35 PM »

demi · « **Reply #4 on:** January 12, 2010, 03:31:39 PM »

I'd believe it, BN comes across as a pussy

TakingBackSunday · « **Reply #5 on:** January 12, 2010, 03:32:11 PM »

I AM a pussy, I'm the first to admit that.

CajoleJuice · « **Reply #6 on:** January 12, 2010, 03:32:35 PM »

annihilated

bud · « **Reply #7 on:** January 12, 2010, 03:33:45 PM »

your mom sounds feisty.

Phoenix Dark · « **Reply #8 on:** January 12, 2010, 03:34:50 PM »

Quote

Mom: Grow a pair.
Mom again: Send me a picture of it, pussy.

Brehvolution · « **Reply #9 on:** January 12, 2010, 03:36:30 PM »

Flannel Boy · « **Reply #10 on:** January 12, 2010, 03:36:34 PM »

mom: are you still wearing a scarf indoors?
me: Don't make fun.
mom: no wonder you're still a virgin!

BlueTsunami · « **Reply #11 on:** January 12, 2010, 03:37:26 PM »

hahhahahahah

Fresh Prince · « **Reply #12 on:** January 12, 2010, 03:38:14 PM »

smh, brandnew

elektrikluv · « **Reply #13 on:** January 12, 2010, 03:43:43 PM »

The extent of my mum's texts to me are "k" Or "wen u camin". Foreign mothers!

TakingBackSunday · « **Reply #14 on:** January 12, 2010, 03:44:42 PM »

Ever since she got a facebook she's been more internet conscious than any mom I've ever met. I hope she's never seen goatse $:-\$

Phoenix Dark · « **Reply #15 on:** January 12, 2010, 03:45:01 PM »

mom: i got some AC/DC tix from a trucker stop, wanna come?
me: jeez mom, it's not 1988
mom: too bad or I would have had dad wear a condom

TakingBackSunday · « **Reply #16 on:** January 12, 2010, 03:46:33 PM »

elektrikluv · « **Reply #17 on:** January 12, 2010, 03:49:27 PM »

Quote from: Phoenix Dark on January 12, 2010, 03:45:01 PM

mom: i got some AC/DC tix from a trucker stop, wanna come?
me: jeez mom, it's not 1988
mom: too bad or I would have had dad wear a condom

Fresh Prince · « **Reply #18 on:** January 12, 2010, 03:50:39 PM »

Quote from: elektrikluv on January 12, 2010, 03:43:43 PM

The extent of my mum's texts to me are "k" Or "wen u camin". Foreign mothers!

Sounds hot

Human Snorenado · « **Reply #19 on:** January 12, 2010, 03:54:20 PM »

Quote from: Phoenix Dark on January 12, 2010, 03:45:01 PM

mom: i got some AC/DC tix from a trucker stop, wanna come?
me: jeez mom, it's not 1988
mom: too bad or I would have had dad wear a condom

maurice

If you keep up this level of quality annihilation, you're gonna pass Himumu as our favorite black person!

Flannel Boy · « **Reply #20 on:** January 12, 2010, 03:56:36 PM »

me: Mom stop texting me; I have a hot date tonight. Things are starting to get really heavy.
mom: But I thought tonight your sister was coming over?
me: ...

TakingBackSunday · « **Reply #21 on:** January 12, 2010, 03:58:32 PM »

[youtube=560,345]Ji-cT58rgNc[/youtube]

Van Cruncheon · « **Reply #22 on:** January 12, 2010, 04:17:54 PM »

i want to see the texts from your sister, brandnew

The Fake Shemp · « **Reply #23 on:** January 12, 2010, 04:19:14 PM »

This thread

TakingBackSunday · « **Reply #24 on:** January 12, 2010, 04:19:44 PM »

the only ones from my sister since rebootin' my phone:

Sister: holy shit Buster got shot!
me: I know!
Sister: Dead? Did not see that coming.
me: He kinda had it coming. Although I would've liked him to just lose his arm, as a call to AD. Would've been cool.

Ganhyun · « **Reply #25 on:** January 12, 2010, 04:20:40 PM »

@ PD

CajoleJuice · « **Reply #26 on:** January 12, 2010, 04:22:10 PM »

She watches Chuck? Willco is in love.

Himu · « **Reply #27 on:** January 12, 2010, 04:22:58 PM »

BrandNew is this real?

I wish my family were this cool.

My parents think I'm a heathen because I cuss. I said,"what the hell is that?" the other day and my father is like..

THERE'S NO NEED TO CURSE.

Since when is "what the hell" a curse?

Phoenix Dark · « **Reply #28 on:** January 12, 2010, 04:23:48 PM »

Quote from: Professor Prole on January 12, 2010, 04:17:54 PM

i want to see the texts from your sister, brandnew

sister: hey whats ur fav animal collective song?
me: doggystyle
sister: lol i guess you like my strap on afterall
me: tearz of joy sis, tearz of joy

Himu · « **Reply #29 on:** January 12, 2010, 04:24:31 PM »

Quote from: Phoenix Dark on January 12, 2010, 03:45:01 PM

mom: i got some AC/DC tix from a trucker stop, wanna come?
me: jeez mom, it's not 1988
mom: too bad or I would have had dad wear a condom

Marry me.

Himu · « **Reply #30 on:** January 12, 2010, 04:25:03 PM »

I wish I had a sibling. Being the only child sucks.

CajoleJuice · « **Reply #31 on:** January 12, 2010, 04:25:55 PM »

Quote from: Himuro on January 12, 2010, 04:25:03 PM

I wish I had a sibling. Being the only child sucks.

I know

TakingBackSunday · « **Reply #32 on:** January 12, 2010, 04:26:17 PM »

tsk tsk pd, there's no animal collective song titled doggystyle that I know of

Himumumumu, my parents swear a lot. In the morning before leaving for Nashville a few days ago, I was just watching TV with my dad while the car warmed up, nobody was saying anything. Walker Texas Ranger comes on and my dad just quietly says "fuckin' chuck norris." Nothing else was said, or needed to be said.

He loves Dodgeball.

Himu · « **Reply #33 on:** January 12, 2010, 04:26:21 PM »

It's like, what were my parents thinking? They both have siblings. Why would they want me to be an only child?

Flannel Boy · « **Reply #34 on:** January 12, 2010, 04:27:09 PM »

They didn't want to make two mistakes.

I'll stop being a dick now.

Ganhyun · « **Reply #35 on:** January 12, 2010, 04:29:30 PM »

Quote from: Harry Lime on January 12, 2010, 04:27:09 PM

They didn't want to make two mistakes.

I'll stop being a dick now.

SICK BURN

:'( Poor Himu

elektrikluv · « **Reply #36 on:** January 12, 2010, 04:30:43 PM »

Quote from: CajoleJuice on January 12, 2010, 04:25:55 PM

Quote from: Himuro on January 12, 2010, 04:25:03 PM
I wish I had a sibling. Being the only child sucks.

I know

Urgh no, I wish I was an only child! Siblings are really annoying, and I only have one sister.

Flannel Boy · « **Reply #37 on:** January 12, 2010, 04:30:55 PM »

me: chuck and his sister seem close.
sister: yeah.
me: like really close. I mean really, really close.

sister: ...

Flannel Boy · « **Reply #38 on:** January 12, 2010, 04:31:12 PM »

Quote from: elektrikluv on January 12, 2010, 04:30:43 PM

Quote from: CajoleJuice on January 12, 2010, 04:25:55 PM
Quote from: Himuro on January 12, 2010, 04:25:03 PM
I wish I had a sibling. Being the only child sucks.

I know

Urgh no, I wish I was an only child! Siblings are really annoying, and I only have one sister.

pics

TakingBackSunday · « **Reply #39 on:** January 12, 2010, 04:33:18 PM »

Quote from: Harry Lime on January 12, 2010, 04:30:55 PM

me: chuck and his sister seem close.
sister: yeah.
me: like really close. I mean really, really close.
sister: ...

CajoleJuice · « **Reply #40 on:** January 12, 2010, 04:33:36 PM »

Quote from: elektrikluv on January 12, 2010, 04:30:43 PM

Quote from: CajoleJuice on January 12, 2010, 04:25:55 PM
Quote from: Himuro on January 12, 2010, 04:25:03 PM
I wish I had a sibling. Being the only child sucks.

I know

Urgh no, I wish I was an only child! Siblings are really annoying, and I only have one sister.

I really wish my parents had no kids.

/emo

Himu · « **Reply #41 on:** January 12, 2010, 04:34:04 PM »

Quote from: Harry Lime on January 12, 2010, 04:27:09 PM

They didn't want to make two mistakes.

I'll stop being a dick now.

$:-\$

spoiler (click to show/hide)

[close]

Himu · « **Reply #42 on:** January 12, 2010, 04:34:55 PM »

Quote from: elektrikluv on January 12, 2010, 04:30:43 PM

Quote from: CajoleJuice on January 12, 2010, 04:25:55 PM
Quote from: Himuro on January 12, 2010, 04:25:03 PM
I wish I had a sibling. Being the only child sucks.

I know

Urgh no, I wish I was an only child! Siblings are really annoying, and I only have one sister.

I wish my parents didn't exist!

Phoenix Dark · « **Reply #43 on:** January 12, 2010, 04:52:13 PM »

himu: how come I don't have any siblings
dad: because I dropped Mormonism for priesthood after you were born

Himu · « **Reply #44 on:** January 12, 2010, 04:55:57 PM »

Quote from: Phoenix Dark on January 12, 2010, 04:52:13 PM

himu: how come I don't have any siblings
dad: because I dropped Mormonism for priesthood after you were born

That's not even funny.

CajoleJuice · « **Reply #45 on:** January 12, 2010, 04:57:19 PM »

Quote from: Phoenix Dark on January 12, 2010, 04:52:13 PM

himu: how come I don't have any siblings
dad: because I dropped Mormonism for priesthood after you were born

quit while you're ahead

The Fake Shemp · « **Reply #46 on:** January 12, 2010, 04:59:27 PM »

I don't get it

Himu · « **Reply #47 on:** January 12, 2010, 04:59:27 PM »

It doesn't make sense.

Even if Mormons seem to have 99 children, don't priests in America tend to have tons of kids as well? Or is he suggesting Catholocism?

The Fake Shemp · « **Reply #48 on:** January 12, 2010, 04:59:55 PM »

Maurice could take a cue from George Costanza.

Phoenix Dark · « **Reply #49 on:** January 12, 2010, 05:00:53 PM »

smh :'(

TakingBackSunday · « **Reply #50 on:** January 12, 2010, 05:01:19 PM »

well I had sex with your wife

Flannel Boy · « **Reply #51 on:** January 12, 2010, 05:01:28 PM »

Himu · « **Reply #52 on:** January 12, 2010, 05:02:35 PM »

So what's your count this year so far, PD? 2-2?

E-DuB · « **Reply #53 on:** January 12, 2010, 05:03:39 PM »

I'm dying here....

BlueTsunami · « **Reply #54 on:** January 12, 2010, 06:04:45 PM »

Oh, PD :'( .... Nomination for Fresh Prince'ed #3

The Fake Shemp · « **Reply #55 on:** January 12, 2010, 06:06:30 PM »

I think TEXTS FROM MY MOM should be a new weekly discussion with a YouTube video of BrandNew's mom.

CajoleJuice · « **Reply #56 on:** January 12, 2010, 06:15:47 PM »

I give it 3 months before it gets a sitcom deal on network TV.

TakingBackSunday · « **Reply #57 on:** January 12, 2010, 06:18:48 PM »

it'll last shorter than conan

Oblivion · « **Reply #58 on:** January 12, 2010, 06:28:21 PM »

Quote from: Himuro on January 12, 2010, 04:25:03 PM

I wish I had a sibling. Being the only child sucks.

Quote from: CajoleJuice on January 12, 2010, 04:25:55 PM

Quote from: Himuro on January 12, 2010, 04:25:03 PM
I wish I had a sibling. Being the only child sucks.

I know

There's plenty of fish in the sea, guys.

CajoleJuice · « **Reply #59 on:** January 12, 2010, 06:35:48 PM »

News:

Author Topic: Texts from my mom (Read 10735 times)