wtf, someone tried to break in to the house last night....

[dcharlie]

... from our roof top , that's on top of our 3 story high front house
... in the snow

lol wtf ?!

So basically, i woke up this morning and went onto the roof to check out the snow. When i opened the door , before i stepped out i noticed some footprints in the snow. No one goes onto the roof, ever. Unless its to hang out clothes (which wasn't going to happen in the snow!)

Anyways, i took a photo thinking "lol, what the..." - i had a peek at the wall leading towards the front of the house and thought there were footprintish marks in the snow, but again thought nothing of it.

i go to work, back home the father in law goes and has a look and discovers someone had obviously had a go at getting the door open and that they'd managed to completely detach one of the locks.

It looks like whoever it is has been up there before trying to get in. The amazing thing is the climb they'd have to make to get up there. They've clearly been scaling the pipes and then somehow getting up the final piece using... um... i dunno.... Spiderman hands?

So it was either Altair , Enzo, Faith or one of those pesky Fuck Gravity/Free runner guys. 

Needless to say we are repairing the door, changing locks, adding lazer security etc.

I was initially a little freaked, now i'm just bemused by the whole thing: Who the feck attempts burglary which involves a decent climb in poor conditions?

[The Fake Shemp]

Arvie

[Madrun Badrun]

I wasn't trying to rob you, I just like climbing pipes and ripping off doors with my bare hands. 

[Mr. Gundam]

Whoa. That's nuts.

[Ichirou]

I would be way more freaked out if I were you. O_o

[Mr. Gundam]

Have any of your neighbors noticed similar foot prints on their roofs? Have you let the police know?

You should get a bunch of dudes together and try to see if you guys can get up there.

[Purple Filth]

i would say a specific someone here but this is actually serious business so i will leave it.

thats crazy and you guys need to be careful.

[Rman]

Weird and creepy.

[Cormacaroni]

clearly nintendosbooger, trying to nick some of your Wii haul

[Ichirou]

[drew]

leave a note saying something

"dear dicks, cut the bullshit, you know what im talking about"

then put a home security sticker on the door

[Raban]

clearly nintendosbooger, trying to nick some of your Wii haul

Flawless.

[Flannel Boy]

clearly nintendosbooger, trying to nick some of your Wii haul

[Mr. Gundam]

Have any of your neighbors noticed similar foot prints on their roofs? Have you let the police know?

not noticed anything, our roof is a bit taller than most too.

lol, we let the police know - useless as ever : "oh we already patrol that area - what else can we do?"

Time to head over to Kabukicho and hire some protection.

[muckhole]

Clearly this was the act of aliens. They're taking you home, dcharlie!

[Cormacaroni]

As a precautionary measure, why don't you try coating the entire roof with some incredibly slippery substance...oh.

[Raban]

Clearly this was the act of aliens. They're taking you home, dcharlie!

tbh this was the first thing I thought of, but I wasn't gonna say anything

OP reminds me of that scene in Signs

[tehjaybo]

Do you need me to suggest some home defensive items?  I can do this. 

spoiler (click to show/hide)

The parts for my shotgun are coming in soon.  Maybe I just need to ship that over...

[close]

[Mr. Gundam]

Do you need me to suggest some home defensive items?  I can do this. 

spoiler (click to show/hide)

The parts for my shotgun are coming in soon.  Maybe I just need to ship that over...

[close]

Guns are pretty much* illegal in Japan.

*You can get them for hunting.

[Raban]

Do you need me to suggest some home defensive items?  I can do this. 

spoiler (click to show/hide)

The parts for my shotgun are coming in soon.  Maybe I just need to ship that over...

[close]

Guns are pretty much* illegal in Japan.

*You can get them for hunting.

Tell the gunshop owner you're hunting the most dangerous game.

[Cormacaroni]

Do you need me to suggest some home defensive items?  I can do this. 

spoiler (click to show/hide)

The parts for my shotgun are coming in soon.  Maybe I just need to ship that over...

[close]

Guns are pretty much* illegal in Japan.

*You can get them for hunting.

you can? holy shit. What if I said I wanted to hunt pedophiles?

[Mr. Gundam]

Do you need me to suggest some home defensive items?  I can do this. 

spoiler (click to show/hide)

The parts for my shotgun are coming in soon.  Maybe I just need to ship that over...

[close]

Guns are pretty much* illegal in Japan.

*You can get them for hunting.

you can? holy shit. What if I said I wanted to hunt pedophiles?

They talked about it a little in the film Babel.

The only type of firearm which a Japanese citizen may even contemplate acquiring is a shotgun.[5] Sportsmen are permitted to possess shotguns for hunting and for skeet and trap (p.27)shooting, but only after submitting to a lengthy licensing procedure.[6] Without a license, a person may not even hold a gun in his or her hands.

The licensing procedure is rigorous. A prospective gun owner must first attend classes and pass a written test.[7] Shooting range classes and a shooting test follow; 95 per cent pass.[8] After the safety exam, the applicant takes a simple 'mental test' at a local hospital, to ensure that the applicant is not suffering from a readily detectable mental illness. The applicant then produces for the police a medical certificate attesting that he or she is mentally healthy and not addicted to drugs.[9]

The police investigate the applicant's background and relatives, ensuring that both are crime free. Membership in 'aggressive' political or activist groups disqualifies an applicant.[10] The police have unlimited discretion to deny licenses to any person for whom 'there is reasonable cause to suspect may be dangerous to other persons' lives or properties or to the public peace'.[11]

Gun owners are required to store their weapons in a locker, and give the police a map of the apartment showing the location of the locker. Ammunition must be kept in a separate locked safe. The licenses also allow the holder to buy a few thousand rounds of ammunition, with each transaction being registered.[12]

Civilians may also apply for licenses to possess air rifles--low-power guns that are powered by carbon dioxide rather than by gunpowder.

Civilians can never own handguns. Small calibre rifles were once legal, but in 1971, the Government forbade all transfers of rifles. Current rifle license holders may continue to own them, but their heirs must turn them into the police when the license-holder dies.[13] Total remaining rifle licenses are 27,000.[14] Even shotguns and air rifles, the two legal types of firearm, are becoming rarer and rarer, as few people find it worthwhile to pass through a burdensome gun licensing process. The number of licensed shotguns and air rifles declined from 652,000 in 1981 to 493,373 in 1989.[15]

Although there is no mandatory minimum penalty for unlicensed firearm possession, 81 per cent of sentences for illegal firearm or sword possession are imprisonment for a year or more, perhaps because most gun crimes are perpetrated by professional criminals.[16] The maximum penalty is ten years in prison and a one million yen fine.

[Bebpo]

Maybe it was a snow monkey wearing people shoes?

[Cormacaroni]

'mental test'

it was a nice dream

[Raban]

Perfect, they even know the best gun to use against a human being at close range.

It's like the Japanese government is BEGGING you to fortify your home security with a brand new shotgun.

[The Fake Shemp]

I wish we had those kinds of regulations for firearms in America. One shotgun for mentally stable, qualified citizens is fair!

[tehjaybo]

I wish we had those kinds of regulations for firearms in America. One shotgun for mentally stable, qualified citizens is fair!

Horseshit.

And those standardized tests are so stupid that even us psychopaths can pass them. 

"If you walked past a little girl while carrying your gun would you..."
A.) Shoot her.
B.) Put down your loaded gun and rape her.
C.) Offer her a ride in your van, and offer candy.
D.) Keep walking.

I mean the obvious answer is B, but I suppose if we're testing for my mental sanity I can pick D. 



Shotguns are decent home defense.  Are there limitations to the size of the gun there in Japan?  You could get some good AMERICAN shotgun and do some modifications to it to make a nice home defense system.  I mean, I could still take my shotgun hunting once I get my stuff done to it, but I don't think there's any point in hunting with a pistol-grip shorty shotgun.  And it's not like you'll be carrying it, you'll just have it in your house, so you don't have to go through any kind of concealment testing, and you wouldn't have to worry about the crazy Japanese gun hating police getting on your case, because why would they be in your house anyway.

Guns are just plain good ideas.

[Cormacaroni]

And in winter 2010, as a direct result of this thread, DCharlie was arrested in suburban Tokyo for the shotgun murder of Santa Claus.

[Phoenix Dark]

Scary stuff. A burglar willing to climb onto a 3 story roof is probably crazy as fuck. Time to get all Home Alone on his ass and turn the snow into pure ice, so he slips off next time he comes

[bork]

Glad nothing happened, DC!  Maybe you should put up a note on the roof that says something like "WE KNOW.  WE ARE WATCHING."  or some kind of "trap" and try freaking the guy out, should he come back. 

Freakiest story I ever read about a break-in in Japan was from a JET-related message board, IIRC.  This guy and his girlfriend were either totally smashed or just too absent-minded that night, but they went to sleep and left the door unlocked.  When they woke up in the morning, they found dirty footprints leading to where they kept their cash and right up to the bedside.   

[Ichirou]

Oh fuck me, that's freaky.

[chronovore]

Christ, dee-charles, that'd freak me out substantially with the family there. Whenever I hear weird noises, I roll out all Rambo style, keeping an eye out for which motion-activated lights are already on...

There is only one solution. Hire me to do your security. I will live on the roof of your house like a polish Ghost Dog.

I believe the term instead of "dog" is "Polish Ghost Sausage."

[bork]

Don't you have the house under security service?

It is common in Poland to have a outside company securing your house. Of course there aren't any guards outside just alarms and systems connected to their HQ. Sometimes cats and drogs trigger them and the sec. comp. calls you immediatly asking what it was.

This is Japan we're talking about.  I can't believe how many homes I have been inside where they didn't even bother locking the front door most of the day or even at night.  My in-laws are guilty of this and would leave the door unlocked 24/7, only locking it when they left the house.  I used to wait until they went to sleep at night and would then go lock the door when I was staying with them.  The excuse was always "nobody is going to come into these homes and steal anything, relax."

If I were a thief, I'd be hitting Japanese homes (especially the ones in the country) left and right.

[bork]

yeah, plus i know several people who have worked for security firms like the one Borys talks about and each has said the systems are, largely, useless.

If someone wants in , they'll get in.

Really?  I'd always heard that alarm systems usually work decently enough in scaring people off, just because the noise draws attention to the area.  My parents use a system where they call your house within seconds of the alarm going off and ask for a password.

EDIT: Ah, Borys's description sounds different.  The American alarm systems are for when doors and windows are forcibly opened or broken, not outside stuff.

[Cormacaroni]

yeah, plus i know several people who have worked for security firms like the one Borys talks about and each has said the systems are, largely, useless.

If someone wants in , they'll get in.

They're not designed to stop people getting in really; they're a deterrent. The surveillance footage makes them easier to catch, that's about all you can hope for. We have the Alsok surveillance cameras at our place and they didn't even stop ME from breaking in when we forgot our keys, and we're on the second floor. Still, there is so much low-hanging fruit in Tokyo that basically any attempt at security seems to be enough to keep the thieves looking elsewhere.

[The Fake Shemp]

I thought all you guys knew kung-fu

[Raban]

I thought all you guys knew kung-fu

Karate.

[Cormacaroni]

just change your name to Ching Chong Charlie, DC. With 'good at math' as your custom tag.

[bork]

But you gotta ask The Fake Shemp!

[Tauntaun]

[Brehvolution]

In Japan?

[Tauntaun]

I thought he lived in WA. 

[Mr. Gundam]

I thought he lived in WA. 

DCharlie, Cormac, Chronovore, Ch1ch1lla and Groo are Japan Bore.
MAF, Prole, TVC, Goofygoober and myself are from Washington.

[Tauntaun]

I thought he lived in WA. 

DCharlie, Cormac, Chronovore, Ch1ch1lla and Groo are Japan Bore.
MAF, Prole, TVC, Goofygoober and myself are from Washington.

I think I confused him with you for a second.      

So DCharlie may I suggest the latest form of home protection?

[T234]

I thought he lived in WA. 

DCharlie, Cormac, Chronovore, Ch1ch1lla and Groo are Japan Bore.
MAF, Prole, TVC, Goofygoober and myself are from Washington.

Hitler Stole My Potato is also Washingtonian, I believe.

[T234]

I thought he lived in WA. 

DCharlie, Cormac, Chronovore, Ch1ch1lla and Groo are Japan Bore.
MAF, Prole, TVC, Goofygoober and myself are from Washington.

I think I confused him with you for a second.      

So DCharlie may I suggest the latest form of home protection?

(Image removed from quote.)

 

[Raban]

I thought he lived in WA. 

DCharlie, Cormac, Chronovore, Ch1ch1lla and Groo are Japan Bore.
MAF, Prole, TVC, Goofygoober and myself are from Washington.

I think I confused him with you for a second.      

So DCharlie may I suggest the latest form of home protection?

(Image removed from quote.)

Wow

[Mr. Gundam]

I thought he lived in WA. 

DCharlie, Cormac, Chronovore, Ch1ch1lla and Groo are Japan Bore.
MAF, Prole, TVC, Goofygoober and myself are from Washington.

Hitler Stole My Potato is also Washingtonian, I believe.

Yep, he is.

[tehjaybo]

DC, you should seriously set up some kind of camera feed, just to see what you're dealing with.
You could hook it up to the web so you (and we) can check while you're at work too.

[chronovore]

I thought he lived in WA. 

DCharlie, Cormac, Chronovore, Ch1ch1lla and Groo are Japan Bore.
MAF, Prole, TVC, Goofygoober and myself are from Washington.

Aren't Oscar and Swaggaz also Japanbore?

[Cormacaroni]

why does it not say Ching Chong Charlie yet *taps foot*

[Cormacaroni]

clearly Icon-hood is overrated. bah.

[chronovore]

clearly Icon-hood is overrated. bah.

You are such the "bah" type.

[Cormacaroni]

clearly Icon-hood is overrated. bah.

You are such the "bah" type.

Black sheep o' the family.

[Cormacaroni]

sshhh, don't let boogie hear that

[ch1nchilla]

DC, I'm on break now so if you give me a shotgun and a steady supply of onigiri and beer I will be your door troll for 2 months!

[Cormacaroni]

DC, I'm on break now so if you give me a shotgun and a steady supply of onigiri and beer I will be your door troll for 2 months!

A drunken ch1inchilla wandering around at night on my roof with a shotgun...i'd never fucking sleep!

[Cormacaroni]

seems a bit racist to us maths/karate compotent fellows.

not to late to change the tag to 'good at math, bad at spelling'...

[Cormacaroni]

I don't even know how to use a SOFTWARE spellchecker

[Mr. Gundam]

Or it's the Sfag Emperor trying to kill you in your sleep.