Author Topic: i need to create a new internet law for convenient net nerd argumentation (Read 4028 times)

Van Cruncheon · « **on:** March 28, 2010, 10:43:34 PM »

help, help. poe's law does not suffice for my purposes (http://rationalwiki.com/wiki/Poe's_Law), and i need to codify the following interwub social rule:

call it "Maurice's Law": "a sufficiently engaged and determined troll is ultimately indistinguishable from the crazy person he purports to satirize."

also add "Futami's Corollary": "it is a best practice to regard the committed troll as the intellectual owner of his constructed persona, regardless of his actual previously held beliefs, as his message is made moot by his diminished returns over time."

help me refine this for submission to the internet cabal.

Fresh Prince · « **Reply #1 on:** March 28, 2010, 10:50:22 PM »

"PD's Law": When being a virgin beyond a certain age used to be a source of shame but now is used as a self-satisfied source of supremecity as a subject matter expert when it comes to pornography.

Madrun Badrun · « **Reply #2 on:** March 28, 2010, 10:55:33 PM »

Quote from: Fresh Prince on March 28, 2010, 10:50:22 PM

"PD's Law": When being a virgin beyond a certain age used to be a source of shame but now is used as a self-satisfied source of supremecity as a subject matter expert when it comes to pornography.

Van Cruncheon · « **Reply #3 on:** March 28, 2010, 10:57:39 PM »

okay, that one's a lot better. "internet virgin status indicates extensive pornographic expertise" is almost a truism

Rman · « **Reply #4 on:** March 28, 2010, 11:44:10 PM »

ToxicAdam · « **Reply #5 on:** March 29, 2010, 12:21:08 AM »

Ironic since they are more likely to white knight in a thread.

Apparently fighting the objectification and abuse of women only extends to matters outside the reach of their right hand.

Madrun Badrun · « **Reply #6 on:** March 29, 2010, 12:22:56 AM »

Not true. PD has always held firm that he likes his pornstars to like their jobs.

Cormacaroni · « **Reply #7 on:** March 29, 2010, 12:30:02 AM »

Can't really make that a law, since it hinges on the degree of determination. How about you just say 'There is a fine line between a troll and his target'?

Van Cruncheon · « **Reply #8 on:** March 29, 2010, 12:35:07 AM »

well, i want to emphasize the point that you might as well treat a sufficiently determined troll exactly LIKE you would the personality he has adopted, since it boots nothing to call him out on the act

Fresh Prince · « **Reply #9 on:** March 29, 2010, 01:04:11 AM »

Quote from: Father_Mike on March 29, 2010, 12:22:56 AM

Not true. PD has always held firm that he likes his pornstars to like their jobs.

Already PD's Law is in effect

Phoenix Dark · « **Reply #10 on:** March 29, 2010, 01:06:15 AM »

PD: got a couple chick's numbers at Buffalo Wild Wings, hung out with another lady friend
Prole: posted a thread on Evilbore, performed christian side hug on wife

Himu · « **Reply #11 on:** March 29, 2010, 01:08:22 AM »

Quote from: Phoenix Dark on March 29, 2010, 01:06:15 AM

PD: got a couple chick's numbers at Buffalo Wild Wings, hung out with another lady friend
Prole: posted a thread on Evilbore, performed christian side hug on wife

OH SHIT

Madrun Badrun · « **Reply #12 on:** March 29, 2010, 01:12:14 AM »

Madrun Badrun · « **Reply #13 on:** March 29, 2010, 01:42:13 AM »

Only if we can make our own.

Arvie's Law: No matter how a guy looks, he will ultimately be rejected by every girl if his personality is bad enough.

demi · « **Reply #14 on:** March 29, 2010, 01:42:58 AM »

I had to google Christian Side Hug

brob · « **Reply #15 on:** March 29, 2010, 01:52:17 AM »

Prole can't catch a break after revealing his puritan ways. Annihilated by chronic masturbators :'(

Fresh Prince · « **Reply #16 on:** March 29, 2010, 01:54:03 AM »

[youtube=560,345]P-HmDE0Plj0[/youtube]

Boogie Christian Side something something

Madrun Badrun · « **Reply #17 on:** March 29, 2010, 02:20:59 AM »

No he has not been rejected by EVERY girl. There was one. He then rejected her. What a cruel world.

Barry Egan · « **Reply #18 on:** March 29, 2010, 02:33:59 AM »

getting rejected implies that you're actually asking.

Madrun Badrun · « **Reply #19 on:** March 29, 2010, 02:38:33 AM »

Quote from: My F*cking Grandpa on March 29, 2010, 02:33:59 AM

getting rejected implies that you're actually asking.

I liked three girls in highschool, was rejected by one, creeped out the other one, and by the third I could tell she wasn't into be and so didn't try. I tried...kind of lol

Madrun Badrun · « **Reply #20 on:** March 29, 2010, 02:44:24 AM »

Quote from: The Business on March 29, 2010, 02:34:48 AM

Someone make a law about Green Shinobi.

When everyone, including you yourself know you're getting trolled, anything you say after that can only make it worse.

Fresh Prince · « **Reply #21 on:** March 29, 2010, 03:04:10 AM »

"Green Shinobi's Law": In real life I'm totally awesome. Yes, really I am. Just because you think I'm an idiot on the internet doesn't make it so. In real life. I am awesome. Even though part of the reason you think I'm an idiot is because I share my real life ancedotes online. But really in real life. Awesome am I.

Reb · « **Reply #22 on:** March 29, 2010, 03:12:09 AM »

GS' Law: If you have to explain you haven't been annihilated for the tenth time, you've been annihilated 11 times.

Madrun Badrun · « **Reply #23 on:** March 29, 2010, 03:12:48 AM »

Quote from: Rebiak on March 29, 2010, 03:12:09 AM

GS' Law: If you have to explain you haven't been annihilated for the tenth time, you've been annihilated 11 times.

best one yet

Fresh Prince · « **Reply #24 on:** March 29, 2010, 03:13:56 AM »

Quote from: Rebiak on March 29, 2010, 03:12:09 AM

GS' Law: If you have to explain you haven't been annihilated for the tenth time, you've been annihilated 11 times.

Barry Egan · « **Reply #25 on:** March 29, 2010, 03:38:25 AM »

Quote from: Rebiak on March 29, 2010, 03:12:09 AM

GS' Law: If you have to explain you haven't been annihilated for the tenth time, you've been annihilated 11 times.

CajoleJuice · « **Reply #26 on:** March 29, 2010, 03:39:36 AM »

Quote from: Rebiak on March 29, 2010, 03:12:09 AM

GS' Law: If you have to explain you haven't been annihilated for the nth time, you've been annihilated n+1 times.

/recursive'd

Barry Egan · « **Reply #27 on:** March 29, 2010, 03:42:39 AM »

thinking the same thing Cajole

Van Cruncheon · « **Reply #28 on:** March 29, 2010, 03:44:49 AM »

wow, i am annihilated by pd in my own thread, AND i share that annihilation with green shinobi $:-\$

WORST. NIGHT. EVER.

i'mma go sidehug my wife now, maybe cuddle if i'm lucky

Human Snorenado · « **Reply #29 on:** March 29, 2010, 04:06:03 AM »

GS sublaw section a, part 1: by pointing out my prodigious iq, i am compensating for my lack of social skills/penis size/absence of affection during childhood/[insert other tragedy here]

recursivelyenumerable · « **Reply #30 on:** March 29, 2010, 04:10:06 AM »

Isn't this just an application of the Liskov substitution principle? If a troll correctly implements the ICrazyPerson interface contract and upcasts itself to ICrazyPerson, you ought to be able to process it like any other ICrazyPerson without worrying about what it might supposedly be downcastable to.

Joe Molotov · « **Reply #31 on:** March 29, 2010, 04:18:44 AM »

recursivelyenumerable's Law: There's no form of human interaction that can't be worked out with math.

recursivelyenumerable · « **Reply #32 on:** March 29, 2010, 04:21:10 AM »

I just got this great book on "Mathematical Physiology". It's got chapters on everything from cell signaling and the Krebs cycle to the various systems of the body, the digestive system, nervous system and so on. There's not a chapter on the reproductive system though.

Fresh Prince · « **Reply #33 on:** March 29, 2010, 04:53:52 AM »

Quote from: Green Shinobi on March 29, 2010, 03:49:38 AM

GODDAMN IT.

spoiler (click to show/hide)
Really, I am.
[close]

Anyway, those are some pretty strong words considering you're about as far from an intellectual heavyweight as it gets on this forum.

Quote from: Вiff Кoммiёslaуer on March 29, 2010, 04:06:03 AM

GS sublaw section a, part 1: by pointing out my prodigious iq, i am compensating for my lack of social skills/penis size/absence of affection during childhood/[insert other tragedy here]

Quote from: CajoleJuice on March 29, 2010, 03:39:36 AM

GS' Law: If you have to explain you haven't been annihilated for the nth time, you've been annihilated n+1 times.

Ichirou · « **Reply #34 on:** March 29, 2010, 07:31:46 AM »

This thread is fucking amazing.

Ichirou · « **Reply #35 on:** March 29, 2010, 07:39:06 AM »

Quote from: Wrath2X on March 29, 2010, 07:37:34 AM

Ichirou's Law: Its OK to bitch about being owed money even if you stupidly gave it to someone on the internet.

I did like a half-dozen trades here, Mupepe's the only one who ripped me off. :shrug

Not that I mind you reminding people that Mupepe's a thief. Keep making fun of me for being a naive dumbass as long as you want, bro.

Ichirou · « **Reply #36 on:** March 29, 2010, 07:42:12 AM »

You know he has a tiny penis, though, right? He suffers from Chub Dick Syndrome.

Ichirou · « **Reply #37 on:** March 29, 2010, 07:45:36 AM »

ay Dios mio

demi · « **Reply #38 on:** March 29, 2010, 07:52:56 AM »

Quote from: Ichirou on March 29, 2010, 07:42:12 AM

You know he has a tiny penis, though, right? He suffers from Chub Dick Syndrome.

I like stubby weiners. It's cute.

CurseoftheGods · « **Reply #39 on:** March 29, 2010, 07:54:57 AM »

Quote from: Phoenix Dark on March 29, 2010, 01:06:15 AM

PD: got a couple chick's numbers at Buffalo Wild Wings, hung out with another lady friend
Prole: posted a thread on Evilbore, performed christian side hug on wife

demi · « **Reply #40 on:** March 29, 2010, 08:01:34 AM »

etiolate · « **Reply #41 on:** March 29, 2010, 08:20:59 AM »

I think the actual GS law is:

1. If one is trolled hard enough then the trolled subject may entice the trolls into further behavior, so that at a certain point the trolls expend more energy trolling the person than is expended by the trolled subject, thus effectively trolling themselves.

Some further internet laws that I have learned over the years.

The Whipping Bag Law

1. The community whipping bag holds a subversive form of power to the overt power of the community rulers for without the whipping bag the community turns on itself.

The Missing Bag rule

1. Once the whipping bag leaves, they effectively pull the plug on the community. If the community doesn't find a new focal point then it is destined to fall apart. Further plug pulling by future whipping bags eventually lead to continual community splintering.

Ichirou · « **Reply #42 on:** March 29, 2010, 08:27:06 AM »

You mean whipping boy, not bag.

etiolate · « **Reply #43 on:** March 29, 2010, 08:28:59 AM »

I didn't want to be sexist.

Barry Egan · « **Reply #44 on:** March 29, 2010, 08:39:06 AM »

Quote

The Whipping Bag Law

1. The community whipping bag holds a subversive form of power to the overt power of the community rulers for without the whipping bag the community turns on itself.

The Missing Bag rule

1. Once the whipping bag leaves, they effectively pull the plug on the community. If the community doesn't find a new focal point then it is destined to fall apart. Further plug pulling by future whipping bags eventually lead to continual community splintering.

These are okay, but too generally applicable to group psychology to be distinguished as internet laws imo.

etiolate · « **Reply #45 on:** March 29, 2010, 08:43:09 AM »

True. The internet just might make it a lot more common.

Barry Egan · « **Reply #46 on:** March 29, 2010, 08:50:24 AM »

The dude-bros who pack together at bars and can't even tell you what a smilie is are just as obsessed with the question of who's in and who's out as your average forum community, I reckon.

Wherever there is a pack there is its other.

Barry Egan · « **Reply #47 on:** March 29, 2010, 08:55:35 AM »

Also; Evilbore can sustain itself without any whipping bags posting internally because of the "post here to spew venom at GAFers" thread!

Green Shinobi · « **Reply #48 on:** March 29, 2010, 10:53:09 AM »

The actual GS law is something like "The funnier person wins the argument every time" followed immediately by "GS is the least funny person on Evilbore."

A nice little catchphrase would be "Logic. It's only cool when Mandark does it."

Human Snorenado · « **Reply #49 on:** March 29, 2010, 10:55:53 AM »

Completely forgot about the Etoilet Maxim:

Wherein making fun of Nintendo today is the equivalent of a genocide in the future.

Barry Egan · « **Reply #50 on:** March 29, 2010, 11:16:45 AM »

Quote from: Green Shinobi on March 29, 2010, 10:53:09 AM

The actual GS law is something like "The funnier person wins the argument every time" followed immediately by "GS is the least funny person on Evilbore."

A nice little catchphrase would be "Logic. It's only cool when Mandark does it."

Hopefully you made this post simply to illustrate GS's law, and not because of it. I'm just not sure what the ramifications of a law that produces the annihilation it seeks to address would be. You may have just accidently annihilated yourself to infinity.

Green Shinobi · « **Reply #51 on:** March 29, 2010, 11:32:40 AM »

Quote from: My F*cking Grandpa on March 29, 2010, 11:16:45 AM

Quote from: Green Shinobi on March 29, 2010, 10:53:09 AM
The actual GS law is something like "The funnier person wins the argument every time" followed immediately by "GS is the least funny person on Evilbore."

A nice little catchphrase would be "Logic. It's only cool when Mandark does it."

Hopefully you made this post simply to illustrate GS's law, and not because of it. I'm just not sure what the ramifications of a law that produces the annihilation it seeks to address would be. You may have just accidently annihilated yourself to infinity.

OMG you might be onto something!

Green Shinobi · « **Reply #52 on:** March 29, 2010, 11:42:41 AM »

If there is an actual, definitive GS Law, it's this: If people want badly enough to see someone annihilated, than absolutely anything can serve to represent that annihilation, regardless of whether a debate had a winner and loser, or whether a debate even existed in the first place.

Barry Egan · « **Reply #53 on:** March 29, 2010, 11:47:34 AM »

Phoenix Dark · « **Reply #54 on:** March 29, 2010, 02:18:50 PM »

Quote from: Green Shinobi on March 29, 2010, 11:42:41 AM

If there is an actual, definitive GS Law, it's this: If people want badly enough to see someone annihilated, than absolutely anything can serve to represent that annihilation, regardless of whether a debate had a winner and loser, or whether a debate even existed in the first place.

^
12th annihilation

The Fake Shemp · « **Reply #55 on:** March 29, 2010, 02:36:08 PM »

Barry Egan · « **Reply #56 on:** March 29, 2010, 04:13:56 PM »

GS's post count should be replaced with an annihilation count that goes up everytime he argues against his having been annihilated.

Joe Molotov · « **Reply #57 on:** March 29, 2010, 05:06:06 PM »

Quote from: My F*cking Grandpa on March 29, 2010, 04:13:56 PM

GS's post count should be replaced with an annihilation count that goes up everytime he argues against his having been annihilated.

Ironically, that number would be the same as his post count.

Bloodwake · « **Reply #58 on:** March 29, 2010, 05:26:39 PM »

[youtube=560,345]Sa0EtdtPi8w[/youtube]

recursivelyenumerable · « **Reply #59 on:** March 29, 2010, 05:36:09 PM »

GS standing up for Enlightenment values against romantic obscurantism (hipster edition)

News:

Author Topic: i need to create a new internet law for convenient net nerd argumentation (Read 4028 times)