I was talking to my mom today, and they had to have the police come to the high school because some kid OD'ed on pain pills and passed out at school, and the police were going to come find out if some other kid was dealing his mom's pills. Well, apparently they spent half and hour grilling my mom (who's the high school secretary) for some reason. She told me about it later and she was pretty mad about it, but frankly it was pretty hilarious. Keep in mind that this town has a pop of about 550, and they only have like 3 cops. So anyway, the DEPUTY SHERIFF starts talking to her, and this is what bits of the conversation she related to me:
DS: "Why did you wait until after you'd called the kid's mom before you called an ambulance?"
Mom: "I don't know."
DS: "Well, what if the kid had choked on her own vomit? Do you know how long it takes someone to choke on vomit?"
Mom: "Minutes, I guess."
DS: WRONG! Can you hold your breath for minutes? Can you even hold your breath for one minute? Do it. I'll time you, we'll see if you can hold your breath for a minute."
Mom: "You're right, I probably can't."
DS: "Do it, I'll time it."
Mom: "I'm not doing it, I'll take your word for it."
DS: "SECONDS is the right answer. You can die in seconds!"
Mom: "Okay, I didn't know that."
DS: "You're right, because you're not a nurse."
Mom: "Yeah, okay. I didn't say I was."
DS: "And that's exactly what her lawyers are going to say when they sue your ass off."
Mom: "Um, okay. We thought she just had the flu."
DS: "Do you have kids?"
Mom: "Do I have kids?"
DS: "Why are you repeating the questions I ask you? That's a delaying tactic." (
)
Mom: "Sorry. Yes, I have kids."
DS: "Did they ever pass out because of the flu? How many kids have you ever seen pass out from the flu?!"
Mom: "None, that I know of."
DS: "How many kids have you seen pass out here?"
Mom: "3."
DS: "Wrong, there were four."
Mom: "What?"
DS: "Four kids have passed out here."
Mom: "Okay well, I only saw three."
DS: "Why did you think a kid could pass out from the flu?"
Mom: "Because last time a kid passed out, someone called the ambulance and they said it was just the flu, and to just send them home."
DS: "I see, you covered yourself pretty well there, then didn't you."
DS: "Well, anyway, you're story checks out with the kids for now. You can go."
And on top of that, this guys wears his mirrored sunglasses all the time, even in-doors.
She said he never took them off, stopped in mid-sentence and then put them back on, but I know I practices that move in his mirror every night. Small town cops; never change, you guys.
