Random talk thread: It just keeps happening

[brawndolicious]

My intro psyc text lists some job titles as described in the U.S. department of labor Dictionary of occupational titles.

Animal impersonator
human projectile
banana ripening-room supervisor
impregnator
impregnator helper
dope sprayer
finger waver
rug scratcher
egg smeller
bottom buffer
cookei breaker
brain picker
bosom presser
mother repairer

 

Maybe if Drew gets tired of doing dishes he can move up to being a bottom buffer.

that's a pretty normal-sounding job to me, at least I've read about artificial ripening multiple times in food processing facilities.  They use ethylene which is a plant hormone to regulate when a plant ripens so that supply isn't as tightly constrained to certain seasons.

oh and I don't know where to post this but here's an awesome deal on MS Office 2010 Premium Plus for $10 bucks:
http://dealsea.com/view-deal/45012

Any gmail email address should work.

[Groogrux]

oh and I don't know where to post this but here's an awesome deal on MS Office 2010 Premium Plus for $10 bucks:
http://dealsea.com/view-deal/45012

Any gmail email address should work.

Did not work for me... 

[brawndolicious]

yeah I just tried it last night and it sent the confirmation email but the link it sent was broken so I contacted customer support, supposed to get a response within 24 hours.  I hope they didn't take it down because of abuse.

[MyNameIsMethodis]

this forum sucks now im quitting bye

[Himu]

My girlfriend is driving me insane. I'm in Houston for a few days and this is the longest we've been away from each other since we got together.

She keeps telling me how horny she is every 5 seconds in text messages.

"I want to play with ur thing!! I miss it!"

"I want to play with ur boys."

*don't respond because it's getting annoying*

"Do you like it when I say I want to play with your thing?"

"Sure, but it can be overbearing. lol"

Last night we had phone sex and she asks me if I want to do it again tonight.

"We'll see", I say.

"I don't understand."

 

[lennedsay]

"You don't understand English or you don't understand that you're in my bubble from 1000 miles away?"

[Himu]

Note to self: do not date nymphos.

[lennedsay]

Even if the guy is also a nympho, it never seems to even out right. Maybe she just thinks it's cute or something.

[Himu]

Is what cute?

[lennedsay]

Is what cute?

  uhhh I mean.....

Sending texts of her being all nympho-y. Maybe she thinks that guys want to be spammed with that, when in fact, there's a time and a place, especially when you stop dating high school guys and frat boys. Sometimes the sexiest conversations are those when you're not talking about sex at all, and next thing you know, the conversation turns up a couple of notches.

So anyway, can I play with your thing?

[Himu]

rofl

[Olivia Wilde Homo]

Pics or it didn't happen

[Himu]

Pics or it didn't happen

Fine.

[Raban]

[Madrun Badrun]

Tell her she is ugly and she will stop sending annoying text.  Problem solved.

Jeez I don't get how you guys can so socially inept.

[Himu]

I've already taken care of it.

[Mupepe]

Himu is more of a girl than his girlfriend is. 

[Himu]

Fuck naw.

*covers panties*

[Mupepe]

rawr

and on the real real, I love when women do that, Himu.  I'd be more pissed that she says "ur thing" like a fucking 12 year old.  call it a dick or cock or something.  make it sound hot.  she sucks at dirty talking.

[Himu]

She doesn't like dirty talking too much, mostly because it makes her feel like she's being slutty (a big no no apparently!) and also because her last boyfriend abused her and always sent ridiculous dirty messages so she felt compulsed to respond with dirty talking. I'm slowing cracking through her shell.

[Mupepe]

have you told her talking like a ten year old isn't a turn on?  next thing you know, you're wiping cum off her chin and she's asking you to tuck her in.

[Himu]

She doesn't talk like a 10 year old. She says cock and dick, just not there. She's no puritan, believe me, but she draws a line. I think it's mostly to present herself as "lady-like", though. She grew up in a heavily religious hispanic household, and I took her virginity, so in regards to be sexually liberal, she's quite new at it.

[etiolate]

Ask her if she's gonna patty-cake her hoo hoo later on tonight

[Mupepe]

Ask her if she's gonna patty-cake her hoo hoo later on tonight

[Himu]

Ask her if she's gonna patty-cake her hoo hoo later on tonight

She doesn't like sticking her fingers in her cooch, btw. She says she only likes it if I do it, or if I stick my dick in there. She says that she doesn't like putting anything in there unless it's me because of what her ex did. I don't get it and I've tried to help her get past her fear.

She masturbates by rubbing her sheets. Which is totally hot, btw.

[Mupepe]

I don't know if I'd be okay with airing my SO's emotional trauma on a forum.  Sounds like she needs counseling.  Seriously.

[Himu]

I know, it's just that I've been handling all this by myself for the past few months. She goes to a therapist and I've been pressuring for her to keep going.

I talked to my friend Alejandro about it and he's like,"dump her". So I've mostly been taking care of her myself with no advice. Though it is silly to ask strangers (the exception being you) for advice, I'm just airing out my concerns.

[Phoenix Dark]

pics of the gf now plz

I bet she's not even white, she's overweight and white. Prove me wrong Himustein

[Mupepe]

it kinda sucks because I imagine she's probably not into play rape which is one of the most fun things ever.

[Himu]

She's hispanic and skinny and no I'm not posting a pic for fap material.

[Mupepe]

she has a fb doesn't she?  i can find her on your friends?  going to look now.

[Himu]

it kinda sucks because I imagine she's probably not into play rape which is one of the most fun things ever.

 

[Himu]

she has a fb doesn't she?  i can find her on your friends?  going to look now.

She doesn't have an fb. She deleted it.

[Mupepe]

What's that face for?  Favorite thing the wife and I do is every few months I wait outside her work and shadow her to her car.  I put a gun to her head and force her in the car and blindfold her and fuck her.  It helps that she works in a bad neighborhood.

[Himu]

Do you talk with a nicca voice?

[Mupepe]

no.  my wife would never be turned on thinking a black dude was nailing her.

[Himu]

Racist.

[Mupepe]

Her.  Not me.  I've got a black friend (you).

[Himu]

Ask her what she thinks of these pics.

[Mupepe]

she'll laugh and say afro pubes

[Himu]

He...hey! How'd she know?!  I like my afro pubes.

[Mupepe]

have you ever braided them???

[Fresh Prince]

Yep it dosn't make sense considering what you said about her ex-boyfriend. Then again it's none of our business. Then again it's on the internet.

[Brehvolution]

My wife has been surprising me with sexy texting recently. She's been against it for the longest time, but she's been coming around for some reason. I think she enjoys it now. Got my first boob pic from her the other day. It's about time. I've been sending her cock pics for years.

[Himu]

Himu you actually believe that you took her virginity? 

Yep. Ultra religious girl is told to wait till marriage as a kid and teen, as virgins get older they start to put sex on a pedestal and wait for the right person. You'd be surprise that it happens a lot in the south.

[Mupepe]

My wife has been surprising me with sexy texting recently. She's been against it for the longest time, but she's been coming around for some reason. I think she enjoys it now. Got my first boob pic from her the other day. It's about time. I've been sending her cock pics for years.

Sending random cock pics is awesome.

[Himu]

What was her reaction to the cock pics?

[Mupepe]

What was her reaction to the cock pics?

who?  my wife?

she always tells me something like "beautiful" or "mmmm"

[Brehvolution]

What was her reaction to the cock pics?

She wishes she could save them but our kids use the phones so much for games that they have to be deleted shortly after receiving them.

[Himu]

Himu you actually believe that you took her virginity? 

Yep. Ultra religious girl is told to wait till marriage as a kid and teen, as virgins get older they start to put sex on a pedestal and wait for the right person. You'd be surprise that it happens a lot in the south.

yeah she wasn't a virgin.

Just because in the middle east people love anal doesn't mean people everywhere else want it. So you are left with two options: lose your anal virginity or lose your vaginal virginity, and no western girl wants her first experience with the former. However, as I said, as virgins grow older they continue to hold it out because they want it to be meaningful. Why do women in Saudi not have vaginal until marriage? Because chastity is important to them.

[Himu]

What was her reaction to the cock pics?

She wishes she could save them but our kids use the phones so much for games that they have to be deleted shortly after receiving them.

Haha no way to make them hidden or protected? Phones need this feature.

[Mupepe]

i think it's because they'll get caned or some shit if they don't save it

I knew a few girls in high school that ass fucked to save their vaginal virginity.  not saying anything about your woman though.  I don't know her.

[Himu]

nah man, I'm just saying that there is a possibility she's lying to you cause she's embarrassed about her past sexual exploits and she wouldn't be the first.

This isn't the case.

[Mupepe]

Did she bleed?

[Himu]

Yep.

[Mupepe]

did you lick it up?

[Himu]

Yuck, gross. I am finding more and more that your sexual habits are purely baffling, Ed.

[Mupepe]

says the guy who thinks french kissing is gross!

[Himu]

French kissing is okay, I just don't like someone's tongue in my mouth. It's not my style. I prefer going for the lips.

[Mupepe]

mmmm  i love tongue.  you don't care for bj's either, right??