Random talk thread: It just keeps happening

[Madrun Badrun]

O ya I know.  I think she has told me on multiple occasions that she would love me no matter what my preference is.  Also ever once in a while she asks if I have a girlfriend, I reply "no" and she follows up with "a boy friend?" 

Also my cousin brought his first girlfriend so it was awkward. 

[Dickie Dee]

Also ever once in a while she asks if I have a girlfriend, I reply "no" and she follows up with "a boy friend?"

 

 :'(

[Madrun Badrun]

no one feels my social embarrassment

[CajoleJuice]

My roommate's girlfriend asked if I hooked up with a girl one night and when I made an (apparently) weird face, she said, "A GUY???"

[Phoenix Dark]

My roommate's girlfriend asked if I hooked up with a girl one night and when I made an (apparently) weird face, she said, "A GUY???"

[Himu]

Cajole have you ever had cock and balls in your mouth? You'd be surprised how addictive it is.

[CajoleJuice]

i wouldn't be surprised, considering i post on the bore

[Olivia Wilde Homo]

When I was 17, my mom said, "<Girl who I went to school with who worked with my mom> said you were gay.  Is this true??"

[Phoenix Dark]

 

I wish there was a way to minimize the nsfw thread, that way if people open the forum they don't automatically see that thread lol.

[etiolate]

NM: FOUND SAUSAGE

[Madrun Badrun]

When I was 17, my mom said, "<Girl who I went to school with who worked with my mom> said you were gay.  Is this true??"

How did your mom pronounce the angle brackets?

[Groogrux]

My dad asked me if I was gay when I was 18 because I was having a really long dry spell. It was the tough love I needed to go get some mentally unstable hillbilly tang.

That's the best kind!  Find em, fuck em, leave em, change your number, move, get a P.O. box, dye your hair, burn your clothes, and never answer the door again.

[Atramental]

There's this hick girl in one of my classes that wants me rod in her but she looks kinda... disease ridden. And her face has the texture of an oatmeal cookie. Also, she has a large tattoo of a locust (the bug) on one leg and a large tattoo of a black widow on her other leg.

I think I'm gonna pass this one up. Just to be safe.

[Atramental]

There's this hick girl in one of my classes that wants me rod in her but she looks kinda... disease ridden. And her face has the texture of an oatmeal cookie. Also, she has a large tattoo of a locust (the bug) on one leg and a large tattoo of a black widow on her other leg.

I think I'm gonna pass this one up. Just to be safe.

You've got 5 1/2 months to win your bet, and so far you're on pace for zero vaginas in the year 2012. I'm not saying you should get desperate, but at a certain point you have to start thinking about how badly you want to win.

Guess I gotta eat spinach before I can have dessert.

[Olivia Wilde Homo]

When I was 17, my mom said, "<Girl who I went to school with who worked with my mom> said you were gay.  Is this true??"

How did your mom pronounce the angle brackets?

She said it very quickly.

There's this hick girl in one of my classes that wants me rod in her but she looks kinda... disease ridden. And her face has the texture of an oatmeal cookie. Also, she has a large tattoo of a locust (the bug) on one leg and a large tattoo of a black widow on her other leg.

I think I'm gonna pass this one up. Just to be safe.

You've got 5 1/2 months to win your bet, and so far you're on pace for zero vaginas in the year 2012. I'm not saying you should get desperate, but at a certain point you have to start thinking about how badly you want to win.

Guess I gotta eat spinach before I can have dessert.

See if you can go to her place and go to her bathroom.  If you're desperate, try to see if you find any Valtrex in the bathroom.  I'd hate for you to get the herp for life because you wanted to get laid to win a bet.

[Atramental]

Yeah, if there's one STD this girl might have it's the herp.

I really should try my luck with the portly Christian girl that I went to high school with. But I don't know if she'll start crying after we've done the deed because she made Jesus sad or some shit like that.

God, I fucking hate The South.

[Diunx]

Taking a huge post taco bell shit at work right now, feels good man.

[Positive Touch]

am i a god because taco bell doesnt make me shit or are yall just really fucking weak

[brawndolicious]

I remember in my junior or senior year of high school, my religious fundamentalist older  brother asked me:

Brother: "So...are you intentionally a virgin?"
Me: "........"
Brother: "No, you're not GAY are you?"
Me: "Ali, I'm not gay."
Brother: "Then why do you care so much about gay rights?"

Awkward anger is the worst anger.

[Olivia Wilde Homo]

I never had to shit right after eating from Taco Bell.  McDonald's does without fail.

[BlueTsunami]

There's this wings place that sells boneless chicken strips. The place makes my ass explode but I keep eating there. 'Dat forbidden fruit.

[Positive Touch]

only time i have problems is when i get indian or thai and have em make it balls-out hot

[Phoenix Dark]

Only food that legit makes me cut turds is my mom's roast beef. I can't stand that stuff 

[Madrun Badrun]

Really? I thought your mom's roast beef was quite easy to stomach.

[pickle]

There's this hick girl in one of my classes that wants me rod in her but she looks kinda... disease ridden. And her face has the texture of an oatmeal cookie. Also, she has a large tattoo of a locust (the bug) on one leg and a large tattoo of a black widow on her other leg.

I think I'm gonna pass this one up. Just to be safe.

You've got 5 1/2 months to win your bet, and so far you're on pace for zero vaginas in the year 2012. I'm not saying you should get desperate, but at a certain point you have to start thinking about how badly you want to win.

Guess I gotta eat spinach before I can have dessert.

Spinach is pretty good with feta cheese on pizza. Take from that what you will.

[Atramental]

I'm actually okay with eating spinach. Haha.
I was just using "eating spinach" as a common analogy for doing something that's not so pleasing. I guess I should've said lima beans because I hate those things.

Anyways, I'm confident that I'll get laid before the end of this year. Locust girl and chubby Christian girl are not my only options because my brother is willing to take me down to his college which is a big party school and it has a ton of girls there.

My only concern while I'm there is that I don't want to come across as an "old creepy guy looking for some young college poon." because I look a lot older than I actually am.

[brawndolicious]

I'm actually okay with eating spinach. Haha.
I was just using "eating spinach" as a common analogy for doing something that's not so pleasing. I guess I should've said lima beans because I hate those things.

Anyways, I'm confident that I'll get laid before the end of this year. Locust girl and chubby Christian girl are not my only options because my brother is willing to take me down to his college which is a big party school and it has a ton of girls there.

My only concern while I'm there is that I don't want to come across as an "old creepy guy looking for some young college poon." because I look a lot older than I actually am.

You're not going to get laid within a few days of meeting new people.

[Bacchus7]

You might.

[brawndolicious]

You might.

Well it's not likely unless his brother specifically arranges for a friend to bang him. Honestly, locust girl sounds great assuming she's healthy and everything. Does she have like cold sores or something?

[Atramental]

I'll figure something out.

I mean, this isn't rocket science.

You might.

Well it's not likely unless his brother specifically arranges for a friend to bang him. Honestly, locust girl sounds great assuming she's healthy and everything. Does she have like cold sores or something?

Yes.

Lots of cold sores. 

[Bacchus7]

ENTER THE MAW

[Joe Molotov]

No kissing.

[lennedsay]

Man... I sit down to throw my baby on a titty and forget to grab the TV remote. Next thing I know, the baby's passed out but I'm a half hour into some shitty Lindsay Lohan movie and can't look away. Fuck...

[Mupepe]

I got to titty and then had to reread the rest of your post like 10 times.  What movie was it?  I like Mean Girls

[lennedsay]

It's called Just My Luck. I was hoping for Mean Girls quality, but just my luck () it's more like Freaky Friday.

[Mupepe]

 

According to IMDB that's 2 years after Mean Girls.  Was she already in crackhead territory or was she still ridiculously hot?  Because if she was still hot, at least you have that.

[Groogrux]

It's called Just My Luck. I was hoping for Mean Girls quality, but just my luck () it's more like Freaky Friday.

Is that the one where she pretends to be pregnant?  Cause if so, it was fucking terrible.  I couldn't sit through the whole thing.

[lennedsay]

No preggers (so far), but she did drop her contact in a litter box and put it back in her eye. SPOILER ALERT: She got pink eye and blamed it on "bad luck."

Edit: and she is still old-Lohan hot, maybe a tad thinner. Pre-crackhead era definitely.

[Mupepe]

I'd let her give me pink eye

[lennedsay]

just a quick fart on the face!

[Mupepe]

Or on my pillow!

[Groogrux]

I don't know why I've made such a big deal about it, but I finally changed my relationship status on Facebook today to "Widowed."  I've not really cared what my friends or family would think, I've mostly worried about hers. Seeing as how we don't communicate with them anymore, I can't see that it really matters anymore.

I have to say that I don't like the term "Widowed" because I'm not a female.  I don't like the term "Widower" either though, because it sounds like I had something to do with my wife's death. 

[Himu]

Wait is she really dead?!

[Mupepe]

wtf, himu?

I never understood the term widower.  You would think that would be when I died.  wtf

[Positive Touch]

Wait is she really dead?!

really dude?

[Bebpo]

I am so bad at depositing checks since I have a small cushion in my checking account so I don't need the money immediately.  I opened my wallet and found 5 checks in there lol.  I should take a short break from work today and deposit them.

I never deposit checks because banks are only open while I'm at work and I don't like atm depositing.  I like the old fashioned way of going in and giving the checks to a person.

[Huff]

bebpo thats pretty dumb

[Madrun Badrun]

I'm the same way.  Bank tellers are one of two groups of people I prefer using over their machine counter parts. The other being prostitutes.   

[chronovore]

I don't know why I've made such a big deal about it, but I finally changed my relationship status on Facebook today to "Widowed."  I've not really cared what my friends or family would think, I've mostly worried about hers. Seeing as how we don't communicate with them anymore, I can't see that it really matters anymore.

I have to say that I don't like the term "Widowed" because I'm not a female.  I don't like the term "Widower" either though, because it sounds like I had something to do with my wife's death. 

Good for you, and I'm relieved to hear you're not dealing with her family anymore. They sounded like bad news.

[Bebpo]

bebpo thats pretty dumb

Yeah I've gotten flack on this before.  I should go more often.  Oh well, deposited my checks and had a chat with the teller about how the local mini-golf place used to be the coolest place in the world to go a decade ago.

[Bebpo]

Also I learned the interest rate formula today, which was cool.  I learned it years ago but I totally forgot it and had to look it up when I needed it today.

I = P x R x T

I = Interest
P = Principal
R = Rate
T = Time

Good day so far

[CajoleJuice]

this page already sucks

[Bebpo]

But I just taught you the formula of how to calculate interest on loans 

[CajoleJuice]

i can't be a dick to you, bebpo, damn it haha

[Phoenix Dark]

 

[Joe Molotov]

Just remember I Pee Our Tea.

[Madrun Badrun]

Also I learned the interest rate formula today, which was cool.  I learned it years ago but I totally forgot it and had to look it up when I needed it today.

I = P x R x T

I = Interest
P = Principal
R = Rate
T = Time

Good day so far

I hate to bust your rock emoticon but this is the simple interest rate.  It's the one simple people use.  Real men put an exponential in their formulas. 

[Bacchus7]

Yeah, I was confused about that too.

[chronovore]

Also I learned the interest rate formula today, which was cool.  I learned it years ago but I totally forgot it and had to look it up when I needed it today.

I = P x R x T

I = Interest
P = Principal
R = Rate
T = Time

Good day so far

I hate to bust your rock emoticon but this is the simple interest rate.  It's the one simple people use.  Real men put an exponential in their formulas.

Real men kiss girls from time to time.
 

spoiler (click to show/hide)

Sometimes they kiss boys.

[close]

[Madrun Badrun]

I didn't say it was a sufficient condition of real manhood.