Random talk thread: It just keeps happening

[Mupepe]

Snooty ass poors turning down quality nutrition because Obama is buying them steak and lobsters with welfare.

[Kara]

They did used to serve lobster to incarcerated individuals once upon a time.

[Phoenix Dark]

I spent some time at the library today helping a friend with a college project. There weren't many folks there since it's spring semester, and overall it was super quiet until this dude walked in snapping his fingers while wearing headphones; we could all hear the unce unce unce of his musical taste. He sat down a few chairs from my friend and I. After a couple minutes he started talking on the phone as if he was anywhere but a fucking library. It didn't take long for me to realize this nicca was doing a phone interview for a job at a grocery store.
 

So I'm listening and can't help but notice how unprofessional he sounded. He sounded like Carlton from Fresh Prince but I kept hearing him say "yea" and "nah" and "cool."  After a few minutes of this he said "ah ok, thanks. I'll definitely be looking forward to speaking to you again too dude. Aite, bye."
 

I can understand people struggling to make a decent resume. But I can't understand how a grown adult or even an 18-20yo wouldn't know how to properly converse during an interview. You don't have to say "yes sir/yes ma'am" but jeez, if you're lazy enough to talk to a potential employer like you'd talk to your homie then you're a dumbass.

[Kara]

Code switching, it's so laconic friends.

[Phoenix Dark]

the feeling of disappointment when you submit a post, see Karakand is reading the thread, and suddenly realize you made a grammar error.


edited out that you're for your but it was too late

[Madrun Badrun]

Found out costa rica has no military.  Think I might invade.

[CatsCatsCats]

The other day I sent out an email using the word proceeding when I clearly meant to use the word preceding. The shame is still very real, email ended up getting passed to the Vice President of the SBU

[Kara]

the feeling of disappointment when you submit a post, see Karakand is reading the thread, and suddenly realize you made a grammar error.


edited out that you're for your but it was too late

I only make fun of that stuff on the internet to cut jerks down to size. Unless you're sending me a work email or text message I don't judge.

I rarely get embroiled in Twitter spats because when I do things rapidly get out of control and I end up with the lead singer of The Mountain Goats @ing me about the derivation of made up Tolkien words (this actually happened), but one time this douche was coming at an e-gal pal and I just calmly pointed out that he meant simile and not metaphor. Oh the ether, knickerbocker was back in the third grade.

[nudemacusers]

the internet seems to be really mad that the olsen twins aren't coming back to a shit-tier netflix remake of an already shit-tier show. who could possibly give a fuck

[Huff]

fuck u they were my childhood. they owe me. not make bank off of some shitty fashion garbage

[brawndolicious]

The other day I sent out an email using the word proceeding when I clearly meant to use the word preceding. The shame is still very real, email ended up getting passed to the Vice President of the SBU

Just blame autocorrect, even if you didn't really type it on your phone.

[bork]

On the train.  There's a couple sitting in front of me.  The guy has his arm wrapped around his girlfriend.  A teenager got on with her mom and sat next to me.  The guy can't stop staring at her and keeps trying to turn around to sneak glances.  Gotta stress that she's quite obviously underage, too.
 

[Kara]

After watching lots of "save my restaurant" shows lately I need to tell all y'all not loners to please stop lying to your loved ones. So many scrubs do shit they have no business doing because everyone they listen to is too afraid of hurting their precious feelings to tell them that they suck.

Privatize profits, socializing Ls--smgdh.

[Madrun Badrun]

On the train.  There's a couple sitting in front of me.  The guy has his arm wrapped around his girlfriend.  A teenager got on with her mom and sat next to me.  The guy can't stop staring at her and keeps trying to turn around to sneak glances.  Gotta stress that she's quite obviously underage, too.
 

But was she hot?

[nudemacusers]

takes son to traveling dinosaur exhibit/attractions (no actual fossils lul)

nearing his limit of children time for the day, macuser stands in a swampy child/parent line one last time for a dinoslide

a 7-8 year old child approaches

"hey check this out", motions to his pants

macuser looks down

nothing happens for several seconds

"silent but deadly fart!"

a rancid sulfuric odor hits the air like a damp towel



he had fun tho

[bork]

On the train.  There's a couple sitting in front of me.  The guy has his arm wrapped around his girlfriend.  A teenager got on with her mom and sat next to me.  The guy can't stop staring at her and keeps trying to turn around to sneak glances.  Gotta stress that she's quite obviously underage, too.
 

But was she hot?

[Madrun Badrun]

You're the one that noticed and then posted about an underage girl and I'm the creepy one, pffff.

[bork]

You're the one that noticed and then posted about an underage girl and I'm the creepy one, pffff.

[Madrun Badrun]

I'll tell you what I told the other ones; Chris Hansen won't save you.

[bork]

I'll tell you what I told the other ones; Chris Hansen won't save you.

Bring it on.

[nudemacusers]

how kind of me to post a picture of my 4 year old son right before a slew of chris hansen memes

[Rahxephon91]

I'm really drunk right now bore and I think I may be in love. I wish this girl would'nt have drunk kiss me.

Damn women. Always confusing me and shit.

[bud]

this is going to sound racist as fuck, but why do some black people (i only say black people because i've never seen/heard a non-black person say it) say "aks" instead of "ask?"

i've seen this is tons of youtube videos

i'm watching this interview with asa akira:



and whenever one of the hosts says that they wanted to ask her about something, they'll "i wanted to aks you..."

[Rufus]

this is going to sound racist as fuck, but why do some black people (i only say black people because i've never seen/heard a non-black person say it) say "aks" instead of "ask?"

It's a common 'error' that can (and has in other cases) become common usage*. Funny thing is, "aks" or "ax" is closer to the original pronunciation before the 'wrong' and now 'right' variant "ask" became dominant. Which is why 'wrong' pronunciation and language use by extension is a gigantic crock of shit. Today's 'right' was yesterday's 'wrong' and vice versa. Which doesn't keep me from hypocritically being a pedant about certain things, even though I know that it's all normal. Just keep in mind that they don't do it because they're idiots.
So why does it happen? Well, it's not necessarily the same reason, but it's easier to say certain words a certain way because your speech apparatus is configured for your accent's patterns through years of use. Your tongue anticipates where it needs to be for the next sound and moves into position before you're even uttering it. Some British dialects' speakers for instance will render "this year" as "thish year" because the way they pronounce "year" demands their tongue to shift into a position that clashes with "s" sounds as it does so. If I can find a clip of Jason Plato (a British race car driver) I'll put it here, because he does it very reliably.

Tongue twisters rely on this to work. Same issues crop up when pronouncing foreign words, or a different dialect of English. You will screw it up until you're used to the different patterns, because your speech apparatus moves subconsciously. If you ever meet a German who doesn't sound like they have an accent, ask them to say "squirrel" or "with which we". They might fuck it up no matter how good their pronunciation is otherwise.

*For a bit of jargon and many more examples:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Metathesis_(linguistics)#English

[Broseidon]

It's almost impossible for me to say "Southern Electric" in a normal sentence without slurring heavily for what i presume is the same reason (when I speak normally with people I also say "thish year")

It can be tricky because I need to say the name of that company probably dozens of times a day.

[Phoenix Dark]

this is going to sound racist as fuck, but why do some black people (i only say black people because i've never seen/heard a non-black person say it) say "aks" instead of "ask?"

i've seen this is tons of youtube videos

i'm watching this interview with asa akira:



and whenever one of the hosts says that they wanted to ask her about something, they'll "i wanted to aks you..."

Probably an urban accent coming through. Sway has that Bay/Cali accent.

[Rahxephon91]

The best game to play at work is figuring out if the approaching neckbeard is going to ask you about the latest amibos.

9/10 times they are.

Surprisingly for like the first time ever kids actually bought some amibos this week at Target. I was shocked.

But yesterday was also the day of the Lana Del Ray concert across the street basically. Hipster city.

[I'm a Puppy!]

this is going to sound racist as fuck, but why do some black people (i only say black people because i've never seen/heard a non-black person say it) say "aks" instead of "ask?"

i've seen this is tons of youtube videos

i'm watching this interview with asa akira:



and whenever one of the hosts says that they wanted to ask her about something, they'll "i wanted to aks you..."

People do that in the "morridor" (Utah/Idaho/Montana/Arizona)

[Kara]

Just ate a can of chicken soup that I bought from the dollar store out of the can.

There is nothing you can do to me that I have not already done to myself.

[king of the internet]

Just ate a can of chicken soup that I bought from the dollar store out of the can.

There is nothing you can do to me that I have not already done to myself.

"Chicken" soup...I guess beaks and talons still count

[Joe Molotov]

There is nothing you can do to me that I have not already done to myself.

Have you licked your elbow?

[Phoenix Dark]

Just ate a can of chicken soup that I bought from the dollar store out of the can.

There is nothing you can do to me that I have not already done to myself.

wait until you try dollar store steak.

[Kara]

I refuse to believe that exists, my local dollar store has had a sign advertising that as their weekly special since October last year.

[Phoenix Dark]

I've seen it with mine own eyes. It's packaged in a colorful paper bag. A great moment of moral compromise.

[Rufus]

Weep
http://imgur.com/a/xsPtf

 

[Madrun Badrun]

1$ steak sounds like a good way to solve the homeless problem. 

[Phoenix Dark]

1$ steak sounds like a good way to solve the homeless problem.

#dualities

...
*calls cops*

[Barry Egan]

So a couple of years ago a few adults that had gone to a private school in my neighborhood came out to the public about having been sexually abused by one of the teachers.  As a result the police started a probe in to the school, trying to ascertain information about sexual abuse going on as far back as 1950.  They discovered that 22 faculty members were involve in sexually abusing students at the school.  Twenty-two!. I just can't.

[Brehvolution]

Perochial private?

[El Babua]

The Deals stores around here sell frozen NY strips for like $4 for 2 steaks.

Had a bodybuilding friend buying those when he was competing. They were :scusthov

[Olivia Wilde Homo]

If you want good beef for cheap, see if your local grocery store or butcher will sell you dark steaks.  Dark steaks are still good but because they're not bright red, nobody will buy them.  As a result, they'd rather sell them for a deep discount than just throw them in the trash.  My college freezer was always full of $2.99/lb beef tenderloins, ribeyes, and NY strips.  You may need to be on good terms with the people behind the counter but it doesn't hurt to ask.

[Mupepe]

Managers Specials is where its at. I stop by my local grocery store 3-4 times a week and I get t bones, rib eyes, pork steaks, NY strip, ground beef, whatever for super cheap. Half pound ribeyes for 3 bucks? Yes please. My freezer is packed for the apocalypse.

[Kara]

"Why were you talking to [redacted] daddy?"
Oh, she wants me to give grandma's eulogy at her funeral."
"What's a eulogy?"
"It's when you say nice things about someone."
"Why are you saying nice things about grandma? She's dead."

real talk from America's future

[Kara]

Reading the Orange County Business Journal (in public!) because I'm a walking ethnic stereotype and it has an add for an MBA program featuring an alumna who's now... a store manager. For Nordstrom. Rack.

[Barry Egan]

I've been admitted to Columbia University's psychology certification program brehs 

[Phoenix Dark]

First Microsoft, now Columbia University has approved our Head Is Head thesis


Now we just need Karakand to get the people who believe in the development and protection of a Jewish nation on board.

[Kara]

I am actually considering making an aliyah.

Trying to decide if I should study Hebrew or start the citizenship inquiry first though.

Should probably start brushing up on my Arabic too. I hear kibbutzim use a lot of Palestinian labor these days.

[Phoenix Dark]

I am actually considering making an aliyah.

Sorry, I don't listen to r&b.

[bork]

Train/Bus observations from 6/8:

-A rather tall, lanky individual with a dirty fro and shaggy beard got off the train and started walking towards the exit.  Skateboard in one hand, lit cigarette in the other.  Dressed like a crappy created character in a Tony Hawk game or something, complete with headband.  Couldn't tell if he was really a "skater" or homeless.  Maybe both.  Sort of reminded me of a 40 year old Jimmy Hendrix if he were alive in grunge-era 1991.  After going down the stairs, he proceeds to get on his board and zig-zag between people walking into/out of the station.  He is then forced to immediately stop at the gate and almost goes flying off the board.  Just...

-A late 20s or early 30-something woman gets on the bus from the street.  She then proceeds to ask the driver how to ride the bus, holding up the driver as he sat there patiently answering her bewildering questions.  The entire bus collectively facepalmed.  Between her and the driver goes so slow that he got stuck at one of the longest lights ever -twice- I was a good 20 minutes late getting home.  This bus ride normally takes me like 10 minutes or less.

[Rahxephon91]

Am I a bad person if I don't want to meet my best friends Girl Friend?

A little history. A guy who is basically my brother is now in the air force and there's talk of shore leave. He'll have a month and spend most of it with this girl wherever she lives( I don't know). Ok cool that makes sense. For a week and a half he'll be back in Chicago and I was hoping to get in time like  the old days. With her there it would be like a third wheel thing. Awkward, but still normal I guess.

But the actual problem is he's sold this women as being completely terrible. One of those "I'll kill myself if you leave me chicks". Not even a kind of, that's whats she's said. The dude has had to support her financially and be under her thumb. She's very controlling and this is what he's told me. i've never meet her, but this plus the fact that she's 31 to his 23 dosen't sound super amazing. She's just one of those control freaks and my friend is admittedly kind of a push over and a sucker for needing to be in a relationship. That's just his deal and there's really nothing more to be said.

Either way I'm not very excited or interesting in meeting this chick and it kind of brings down the entire anticipation of seeing my friend again. So I kind of don't and I feel pretty disappointed. 

[chronovore]

Am I a bad person if I don't want to meet my best friends Girl Friend?

A little history. A guy who is basically my brother is now in the air force and there's talk of shore leave. He'll have a month and spend most of it with this girl wherever she lives( I don't know). Ok cool that makes sense. For a week and a half he'll be back in Chicago and I was hoping to get in time like  the old days. With her there it would be like a third wheel thing. Awkward, but still normal I guess.

But the actual problem is he's sold this women as being completely terrible. One of those "I'll kill myself if you leave me chicks". Not even a kind of, that's whats she's said. The dude has had to support her financially and be under her thumb. She's very controlling and this is what he's told me. i've never meet her, but this plus the fact that she's 31 to his 23 dosen't sound super amazing. She's just one of those control freaks and my friend is admittedly kind of a push over and a sucker for needing to be in a relationship. That's just his deal and there's really nothing more to be said.

Either way I'm not very excited or interesting in meeting this chick and it kind of brings down the entire anticipation of seeing my friend again. So I kind of don't and I feel pretty disappointed.

Your friend is in for a lifetime of pain if he doesn't get away from her; it's no wonder you don't want to meet her.

She's free to kill herself if he leaves her; that's her choice. He should get the fuck outta Dodge City.

[brawndolicious]

He's young enough to eventually realize the relationship has no potential and that he should do better. I'm pretty evil so I would want to meet them and ask "so what made you two want to stay together?" just to watch the shitshow unfold.

[king of the internet]

I was with one of those. She made that threat on numerous occasions. It did contribute towards my very unfortunate decision to remain in a horribly toxic relationship way longer than I should have, but ultimately I had to end that shit no matter what she threatened to do. Sometimes you just gotta save yourself, even if that means letting someone else drown. Plus by staying in a relationship with someone who has an unhealthy dependency on you, you're only enabling them. If they're capable of getting better, they never will as long as you continue to carry them on your back.

[Beezy]

Just rode my bicycle for about 1.5 hrs on a path that I've never been to before and nearly bust my ass at least 5 times. Time to stop trying to be a real nicca and start wearing my helmet.

[Madrun Badrun]

But all the other kids will make fun of you dude.

[Kara]

They make some stylish helmets now. Look at city riding ones. Or you can look like a mushroom kingdom denizen and get the Giro I use.

[king of the internet]

I never wear a helmet. If something does happen, all I ask is that you pull the plug. 

[studyguy]

Girlfriend bought a Shakeweight for like $4 yesterday. 
She showed it to me when I got home and it's like not heavy at all, even if you do the dumb ass motion for the suggested 6 minutes it doesn't feel like you've done shit. What the fuck lol.

[Madrun Badrun]

Bet all the cool kids say cool things about king of the internet.

[Beezy]

They make some stylish helmets now. Look at city riding ones. Or you can look like a mushroom kingdom denizen and get the Giro I use.

I got one when I bought my bike. I just haven't actually worn it while riding yet.