Annual Things Overheard During Christmas thread

[Phoenix Dark]

"Are you watching Dr. Who tonight?"

"You don't understand the financial crisis. You should watch Wall Street II, it'll give you some insight into why our system is screwed up"

"Dip your chitlins in the garlic sauce, it's good for your heart"

"She's two years old, why can't she eat bacon?"

"The NBA is rigged. You can tell the Lakers are going to win when they show Jack Nicholson wearing dark sunglasses or clear glasses"

"The grassy knoll is a smokescreen. JFK got blown away by the man hiding in the manhole."

"You heard of the Coconut Grove? All them republicans go there then get elected. They have gay sex there, you best believe Bush is a taco"

[pilonv1]

coconut grove. Bohemian grove is funny enough.

[Boogie]

Largest extended-family Christmas is tomorrow.

I shall keep y'all updated.

Thought I don't expect anything more exciting than a few comments from the grandparents equating any acts of terrorism with anyone living from Morroco to Bangladesh.

[Himu]

my grandma gave my dad the george bush book for christmas.

Dad: *looks at book* I thought you liked me.

[Phoenix Dark]

my grandma gave my dad the george bush book for christmas.

Dad: *looks at book* I thought you liked me.

[Himu]

that was the highlight for me. all the rest is family stuff.

[Groogrux]

"That Fushigi ain't magic at all.  It's a piece of shit.  I told her not to get it but she just wouldn't listen.  They ought to call it 'Fushigi: The Magic Tile Cracker' cause the damn thing sounds like it's going to break the floor every time the kids drop it.  I should have got them a fucking football."

[Human Snorenado]

"THUH oven?  You sure about that?"

"Huh?"

"THEE oven, please."

"I promise to only say THEE oven... unless I'm drunk, in which case I'll say THUH oven just to annoy you."

[GilloD]

"ㅗ온홍ㅎㅇ뉴ㅡ드ㅡ드느ㅜ으놋ㄱㄱㄷ숀ㅍㄴㅁㅍ유ㅏㅣㅓㄹ에!!!"

[etiolate]

"zebra penis"