Phantom Hourglass is the worst nintendo zelda, your trolling is quite good.
Zelda ONe is obtuse in that dated NES way
OoT is boring and I genuinely can't ever get through it again, also hyrule field is do nothing but walk.
Twilight Princess is unfab and fugly and more of a chore than anything
Wind Waker runs out of steam way too quickly and doesn't flesh out its ideas enough.
I would put Phantom Hourglass above any of those. As a matter of fact I feel like Phantom Hourglass is a complete realisation of the goals they set out to do in Wind Waker. It has more substantial islands with indigenous populations, creative item usage, the ocean itself has numerous activities to do whilst sailing, so it doesn't feel empty and lacking. I loved the cartography stuff. The dungeons themselves weren't tedious slogs like I remember many of the 3d zeldas being. They were briskly paced yet satisfying.
I have not played enough of Link to the Past, Zelda 2, the Oracle games, Minish Cap or Spirit Tracks to have an opinion on them. Otherwise the only zelda games I enjoy returning to are Link's Awakening, Phantom Hourglass, and Majora's Mask.