Some days I like to imagine that deep in the heart of Nintendo HQ there is a laboratory full of failed experimental paraphernalia. One of these experiments is a a large metal pole which, though the genius of Miyamoto, self-maintains a temperature no less than -20C. Like any frozen metal pole, it exerts a evil power over the weak-willed; many Nintendo engineers have fallen to this malicious entity. But it has been foretold that someday a hero will arise, destined to destroy the pole and free the tongues of these poor souls, forever restoring Nintendo to glory.