To start the new year right, with the requisite angst and whining, it was very clarifying a year or so ago when I realized that the real reason I've never had a RELATIONSHIP had very little to do with looks, personality, insufficient confidence or aggression, being socially or interpersonally inept (which I sometimes am, but I can actually be pretty socially perceptive and effective, in my peculiar way, when I care to be and bother putting effort into it), or anything of the sort, but is almost entirely about extreme emotional laziness. Right now I have a nice long email in my inbox from a close friend I haven't seen in a year and really want to see again (not necessarily a "RELATIONSHIP" interest, but just representative of how I treat all my emotionally charged personal relationships, lowercase or uppercase), and I'm vacillating on whether to bother replying or not. It just seems like a lot of mental energy to expend when I could just spend more time feeling sorry for myself or writing stiltedly arch forum posts instead. If I do reply it'll probably be like a month later.