Author Topic: Pallando will return in "Never Say Never Again" (Read 1247218 times)

Oblivion · « **Reply #5760 on:** March 30, 2014, 07:12:35 PM »

Well, my first attempt at trying to move on went pretty horribly. Had the second worst date ever so far.

So I meet up with this cougar from OKCupid (she was 38). When we were chatting online she was quick to respond and seemed pretty friendly for the most part, and she seemed eager to meet up right away. So we decided to meet for coffee. Immediately I realized that there might be problems with this one, since she tried to shake my hand, and when I tried to hug her she seemed visibly uncomfortable. Then she didn't want me to pay for her coffee and said we should have separate bills. Sure that in itself probably might not have meant anything negative, but it didn't seem good. The first ten minutes we sat down and she kept having this weird, nervous look on her face. However, after that she started feeling more comfortable and she was smiling and seemingly actually enjoying herself. We chatted for two hours and I asked if she'd be up for something else. She said she was, and so we went to theater, which at first I thought was a good sign. Again, though she decided to pay for herself and when we went inside, she didn't seem to want to hold hands or anything. The movie experience (as well as the movie itself) sucked and was glad when it was over. I walk her to her car and ask her if she wanted to pursue a relationship and she says that she's not looking for a boyfriend right now and wants to remain friends.

UGH.

Okay, so she wasn't exactly the date from hell, and it's not like all my other dates ended in a slam dunk. But most of the time I had SOMETHING to show for it. This wouldn't be so bad if I didn't waste half my day with her.

At least she paid for her own shit, so credit where credit's due, I suppose.

Oblivion · « **Reply #5761 on:** March 30, 2014, 07:13:53 PM »

But there was some shockingly positive news as well. Facebook girl messaged me and asked me out to a party.

fistfulofmetal · « **Reply #5762 on:** March 30, 2014, 07:34:01 PM »

Quote from: am nintenho on March 30, 2014, 06:45:20 PM

Is it online dating? Just say you're new to the format (true) and would like to see if she'd want to go and do something low-key like have coffee and walk and talk.

I have an idea already. There's a thai restaurant I want to go to so I'll probably propose that as an idea. Maybe going to see a movie if I want to be lame.

It's the asking that's the hurdle.

Rufus · « **Reply #5763 on:** March 30, 2014, 07:43:45 PM »

If it goes sideways you can always ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ it off.

chronovore · « **Reply #5764 on:** March 31, 2014, 12:24:34 PM »

Quote from: AWESOM-O on March 28, 2014, 09:56:27 PM

One is never truly "over it." But I won't harp on it again for awhile.

Anyway, move on to the next one, Oblivion.

It's probably been stated here before, but does it help to realize that, when a woman chooses not to engage you directly when rejecting you, it says nothing about you?

If she doesn't even know you, is it reasonable to be hurt by her lack of acceptance or trust? Or is it more realistic to accept that the reaction says more about her, or a woman's tenuous situation in this world?

TakingBackSunday · « **Reply #5765 on:** March 31, 2014, 12:48:41 PM »

I think its natural to take something like that personal, especially if you suffer from symptoms of being HSP. It's just important to remember that unless you were a total skeezoid or put out rape vibes, that its nothing you did. It's especially frustrating when a girl seems totally down to kick it, and they give you their number first without you even asking for it. But hey, sometimes people go through things and have particular personalities. If they don't seem interested, its their loss most of the time.

fistfulofmetal · « **Reply #5766 on:** April 01, 2014, 06:36:30 AM »

I casually suggested a meet up to give a restaurant a try to the OKC girl I've been talking to. It's a Thai places and she essentially said she would have to think about doing that specifically because she's a bit afraid of foreign food but she thinks we should definitely meet up sometime.

I didn't want to push the subject too much because it was clear either she:
-isn't ready to meet quite yet
-doesnt want to period

I side with the former because of course I do. I'll keep it casual and mention it again sometime.

brawndolicious · « **Reply #5767 on:** April 03, 2014, 01:01:15 AM »

Quote from: am nintenho on March 19, 2014, 02:52:41 PM

Normally when you flirt or talk a lot with a girl that's taken, they'll let it slip that they have a boyfriend. I can definitely be shy about communicating my intentions when I start feeling an interest in someone but does anyone know if someone who for instance grew up in Europe and whose primary language is not English would maybe not be sure how to put that out there?

I've known her for like 6 months but only really started to talk with her in the past month or so. Tried scouring Facebook already obviously so I guess the only thing to do is to wait and ask her out and see what happens. I'm suspicious because imo she's very pretty although she does kind of have an intimidating/seemingly cold personality.

Okay update if anyone cares: The thing is that she was actually the TA of a class I was in and a grad student I work with mentioned how serious they may come down on TAs dating students (possible expulsion). He mentioned it with his own story of how he waited until after the term was over to begin dating a former student.

So a couple days ago on you first day of the new term, I went up and asked and her response was "I can't". I asked if there was a rule against it even when you're not in their class and she said that it was because she has a boyfriend and obviously I apologized and explained I was actually trying not to hint my interest because I knew she wouldn't be allowed to so it wasn't her fault for not telling me earlier or anything. Thankfully I talk really fast when I'm afraid of saying the wrong thing or of someone wrongly feeling like they didn't do their duty and I think her main concern was actually that she hurt my ego or something. Even if she actually had no interest that would be fine and I'd move on.

I'd like to say that this turned out differently and that I'm a testament to why you should have the restraint to always do the right thing even if it means being really patient but yeah. I did learn to always let your interest show when you know it's there and not to waste time (2 months wanting to ask her out).

But the upside is that that was actually the first time I'd asked a girl out face-to-face, at the tender age of 25, and it just felt so much more natural and fun rather than super tense and awkward like when you can't see them. It actually makes me want to put myself out there a lot more. The last time I asked was a year ago which was my first and only rejection, since I wouldn't count accidentally asking out a girl with bf as a rejection. Even if that does happen again, the worst case scenario is somebody feels a bit flattered and I get thicker skin.

chronovore · « **Reply #5768 on:** April 03, 2014, 04:24:24 AM »

Put your self out there more. If you're not one of the guys who is mortally afraid of other people or rejection, there is everything to gain, and nothing to lose by being rejected once in a while.

Actually, there was a fun LifeHacker article on this game centered on that:
http://lifehacker.com/5888637/rejection-therapy-the-game-you-win-by-actively-seeking-out-rejection

Rahxephon91 · « **Reply #5769 on:** April 03, 2014, 05:52:05 AM »

So are long hair and facial hair a no go for dudes? I've taken the PD strategy and just liked everyone on the tinder app(I'm sure I'm well past 500 now I'm sure) and haven't gotten a single bite.

Huff · « **Reply #5770 on:** April 03, 2014, 06:32:14 AM »

Choosing your pictures carefully is definitely a tinder requirement. It might have nothing to do with your looks but other stuff in your pictures that is giving a left swipe vibe.

CatsCatsCats · « **Reply #5771 on:** April 03, 2014, 09:58:49 AM »

I had pretty good success with my long hair and facial hair back when I was single. You keepin it clean, facial hair short? If your hair is greasy looking or something that wouldn't go over well. Post the pics you're using

fistfulofmetal · « **Reply #5772 on:** April 03, 2014, 10:09:07 AM »

the first chick that ever showed interest in me (high school) was because of my long hair.

CatsCatsCats · « **Reply #5773 on:** April 03, 2014, 11:57:22 AM »

Tl;dr version: brush your hair, trim your face, and bathe if you don't already

Huff · « **Reply #5774 on:** April 03, 2014, 05:59:11 PM »

some girls may like it, but your going to increase your odds if you cut it.

so cut that shit

Rahxephon91 · « **Reply #5775 on:** April 03, 2014, 07:34:51 PM »

Quote from: Spencer on April 03, 2014, 09:58:49 AM

I had pretty good success with my long hair and facial hair back when I was single. You keepin it clean, facial hair short? If your hair is greasy looking or something that wouldn't go over well. Post the pics you're using

I pretty much wash my hair every other day with shampoo and conditioner. Conditioner on the days without shampoo. It's just part of the normal "get up and take a shower routine". I don't think hygiene is much of an issue. I'm pretty clean. As for having facial hair, it dosen't go to my neck or anything. I don't "line" or whatever bros call it.

As for cutting my hair. I don't really like having short hair. My hair in general is source of constant confidence issues. I don't like it at all, but I at least dislike it less when its long and somewhat curly.

Shadow Mod · « **Reply #5776 on:** April 03, 2014, 08:01:07 PM »

Facial hair short: hot.

Facial hair long like zz top: not.

Shadow Mod · « **Reply #5777 on:** April 03, 2014, 08:32:17 PM »

Wrath is right you want to make them Tinder pics hot and ensure you look approachable.

Robo · « **Reply #5778 on:** April 04, 2014, 10:23:36 AM »

Try breathing from your nose.

Human Snorenado · « **Reply #5779 on:** April 04, 2014, 10:29:24 AM »

Personal appearance is a series of trade-offs, in my opinion. How much are you willing to inconvenience yourself in order to attract and keep a mate, or just get laid if that's what you're looking for? Keep in mind that women do all sorts of that sort of thing to attract YOU.

That said, I have good news from mid-30's land: people start settling for less as they get older. "Oh, he's employed, doesn't live at home and hasn't hit me? Might as well fuck him, despite the beard."

Rufus · « **Reply #5780 on:** April 04, 2014, 11:05:32 AM »

You just feel better overall if you take care of yourself.

Quote from: Creepy Old Guy on April 04, 2014, 10:29:24 AM

That said, I have good news from mid-30's land: people start settling for less as they get older. "Oh, he's employed, doesn't live at home and hasn't hit me? Might as well fuck him, despite the beard."

Phoenix Dark · « **Reply #5781 on:** April 04, 2014, 11:28:29 AM »

If you want attention, earn it. You don't need to be ripped but just being in shape and having shoulders works wonders. You'll grab attention, and realize all of a sudden women are laughing with you or putting their hand on your arm.

If you don't want to go to the gym, do some jogging or something. Start small then get more ambitious with your exercise. You'll notice the difference in reactions immediately, once you lose weight and gain some muscle.

fistfulofmetal · « **Reply #5782 on:** April 04, 2014, 12:52:33 PM »

It's difficult because the things that prevent you from functioning out in social settings also prevent you from doing things like, going to the gym, etc.

For me, my primary mental block is being alone. I can't deal with being in these settings alone. It scares me to the point where I simply don't do it.

So you say "Then have someone go with you!" But you see, this block also applies to asking people. Or finding people. It's the worst cycle.

Phoenix Dark · « **Reply #5783 on:** April 04, 2014, 12:55:05 PM »

Having dealt with similar issues, one thing I did was buy some weights from the Salvation Army and just work out at home.

Mupepe · « **Reply #5784 on:** April 04, 2014, 01:37:53 PM »

Yep. My first weight set I bought from Academy for 200 bucks and it came with 245 lbs. Squat rack, OHP rack, bench and an olympic bar. twas the shit and I didn't have to go to a gym.

Rufus · « **Reply #5785 on:** April 04, 2014, 01:41:35 PM »

Or start (and maybe stop) with bodyweight exercises.

fistfulofmetal · « **Reply #5786 on:** April 04, 2014, 01:49:58 PM »

I was thinking about looking into DDP Yoga.

TakingBackSunday · « **Reply #5787 on:** April 04, 2014, 02:07:21 PM »

I've recently felt really great just by running and playing basketball every other day. I don't really care to bulk up muscle wise -- not really my thing. But I'm getting leaner by doing the cardio. And I'm actually halfway decent at basketball now, so there's that.

Shadow Mod · « **Reply #5788 on:** April 04, 2014, 05:06:33 PM »

Muscles are fucking hot. Being out of shape you can get girls too but the better you look the more you can play the field.

TakingBackSunday · « **Reply #5789 on:** April 04, 2014, 06:34:35 PM »

Muscles are hot, yeah, but weight lifting for some people just isn't enjoyable or fun. Finding a routine that you're into and you enjoy is more important I think.

Shadow Mod · « **Reply #5790 on:** April 04, 2014, 06:38:34 PM »

Quote from: BrandNew on April 04, 2014, 06:34:35 PM

Muscles are hot, yeah, but weight lifting for some people just isn't enjoyable or fun. Finding a routine that you're into and you enjoy is more important I think.

You can get them from other activities.

If I had more money I'd go to one of those rock climbing places. And bowl more.

TakingBackSunday · « **Reply #5791 on:** April 04, 2014, 06:42:22 PM »

Quote from: Needs More Cowbell on April 04, 2014, 06:38:34 PM

Quote from: BrandNew on April 04, 2014, 06:34:35 PM
Muscles are hot, yeah, but weight lifting for some people just isn't enjoyable or fun. Finding a routine that you're into and you enjoy is more important I think.

You can get them from other activities.

If I had more money I'd go to one of those rock climbing places. And bowl more.

oh sure, I wasn't denying that. I've been doing body weight exercises at home and I don't hate it. Still have much much more fun running and playing basketball.

Shadow Mod · « **Reply #5792 on:** April 04, 2014, 06:45:50 PM »

The plus about weight lifting (if you have your own shit) though is you can just be a bum, ask what you want to focus on today, and do it like 3 sets of 5 reps and you're done for the day after no time at all.

Human Snorenado · « **Reply #5793 on:** April 06, 2014, 07:18:45 PM »

20-30 lbs. is

50 lbs. or so is when we have issues, or I do anyway. Then again I'm a fat fuck, but I'm told I'm funny, adorable, blah blah blah all these other things that women like, so I've got that going for me.

(they're lying to me, I know)

MrAngryFace · « **Reply #5794 on:** April 08, 2014, 12:34:26 AM »

im knee deep in relationship

Shaka Khan · « **Reply #5795 on:** April 08, 2014, 12:49:15 AM »

Tell me more.

CatsCatsCats · « **Reply #5796 on:** April 08, 2014, 02:17:02 AM »

Yo, flannel boy, am I right about red heads being terrible humans yet?

nudemacusers · « **Reply #5797 on:** April 08, 2014, 03:33:52 AM »

Quote from: Esch on April 04, 2014, 10:42:21 AM

On the other hand, some people don't need to try hard at all to maintain a great appearance.

i have a name you know

CatsCatsCats · « **Reply #5798 on:** April 08, 2014, 09:38:30 AM »

Doesn't count, Wrath, they ain't people

CatsCatsCats · « **Reply #5799 on:** April 08, 2014, 10:37:00 AM »

I know I'd frack with that toaster

Atramental · « **Reply #5800 on:** April 10, 2014, 08:34:48 PM »

There's a girl at work that I want to plow but she's more religious than the other religious girls I've played naked twister with.

What do?

Phoenix Dark · « **Reply #5801 on:** April 10, 2014, 08:44:35 PM »

Quote from: Atramental on April 10, 2014, 08:34:48 PM

There's a girl at work that I want to plow but she's more religious than the other religious girls I've played naked twister with.

What do?

anal to preserve her maiden head

Atramental · « **Reply #5802 on:** April 10, 2014, 08:45:21 PM »

Ah, who am I kidding. I'm just going to stick with bar broads for 2 more years while I'm stuck in SC.

The less complications the better.

But man... I've been day dreaming a lot at the office about "stuff"...

Rahxephon91 · « **Reply #5803 on:** April 15, 2014, 06:54:39 PM »

Quote from: Huff on April 03, 2014, 05:59:11 PM

some girls may like it, but your going to increase your odds if you cut it.

so cut that shit

Yeah I guess I will go back to boring old short hair. Having long hair hasn't done anything for me in the women department and I guess it never fit me. Today my friend said I look like Lt. Dan from Forest Gump. So yeah I guess it's time to back to normal.

Barry Egan · « **Reply #5804 on:** April 15, 2014, 07:22:37 PM »

Quote from: Atramental on April 10, 2014, 08:45:21 PM

Ah, who am I kidding. I'm just going to stick with bar broads for 2 more years while I'm stuck in SC.

The less complications the better.

But man... I've been day dreaming a lot at the office about "stuff"...

when you say "naked twister" and "stuff"...what are you referring to exactly

these posts are confusing.

Barry Egan · « **Reply #5805 on:** April 15, 2014, 07:22:52 PM »

oh wait, are you talking about "pop pop"?!? you devil!

Phoenix Dark · « **Reply #5806 on:** April 15, 2014, 09:47:05 PM »

Quote from: Esch on April 15, 2014, 07:45:23 PM

That feeling when you inadvertently drop the ball on some sure shit is horrible indeed

take the shot brehs. don't hesitate

fistfulofmetal · « **Reply #5807 on:** April 15, 2014, 09:57:54 PM »

so i don't remember if i mentioned this here or not

awhile back before i moved, around December I believe I had a dentist appointment. The hygienist was a really nice girl that I chatted up for a bit and ended up "asking out" but kinda botched and then botched harder later on when i tried to follow up. oh well whatevs.

but weird thing is, months later (at least in the last month) i notice she sent me a friends request on the facebooks.

just thought it was an interesting turn of events.

Rufus · « **Reply #5808 on:** April 15, 2014, 10:08:03 PM »

Please. No more.

Phoenix Dark · « **Reply #5809 on:** April 15, 2014, 10:12:01 PM »

Esch got Sam Bowie'd

Phoenix Dark · « **Reply #5810 on:** April 15, 2014, 10:17:18 PM »

how fat are we talking though?

Rufus · « **Reply #5811 on:** April 15, 2014, 11:34:29 PM »

So, if you lift...

brawndolicious · « **Reply #5812 on:** April 15, 2014, 11:41:09 PM »

Quote from: Rufus on April 15, 2014, 11:34:29 PM

So, if you lift...

You lower your standards?

Rufus · « **Reply #5813 on:** April 15, 2014, 11:42:40 PM »

Boom.

brawndolicious · « **Reply #5814 on:** April 16, 2014, 01:52:14 AM »

Eh nah I think she was looking for a random douche rather than a real thing. It sounds like you were looking for a bit more than that so it's best to just forget about it.

brawndolicious · « **Reply #5815 on:** April 16, 2014, 02:02:21 AM »

Okay sorry I realize that probably JUST happened but I have no better advice to give since I've been in that "we want it but yet" void only once before and yeah. If it's any consolation, you may have avoided something crazy and meaningless.

chronovore · « **Reply #5816 on:** April 16, 2014, 02:13:41 AM »

Quote from: Atramental on April 10, 2014, 08:34:48 PM

There's a girl at work that I want to plow but she's more religious than the other religious girls I've played naked twister with.

What do?

http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/wave-off

nudemacusers · « **Reply #5817 on:** April 16, 2014, 02:24:32 AM »

you served an important role, exodust. i'm sure clubdouche will pay it forward.

Mandark · « **Reply #5818 on:** April 16, 2014, 02:25:54 AM »

Responding seriously to an am nintenho post is the ultimate L.

fistfulofmetal · « **Reply #5819 on:** April 21, 2014, 07:19:55 PM »

so uh. it looks like i'm gonna be going out on a date next sunday. pretty straight forward, a movie (her idea) and dinner (my idea).

sooo some general advice? i'm mostly just gonna wing it but is there anything to keep in mind? dos and donts? etc.

News:

Author Topic: Pallando will return in "Never Say Never Again" (Read 1247218 times)