Pallando will return in "Never Say Never Again"

[cool breeze]

co-sign on not bringing it up on your own.  worst case, be like:  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ it's been awhile

it's honest, technically.

[Shaka Khan]

Dude, don't overthink and overprepare any speeches. For now focus on cooking a meal and having a good time. If you two genuinely have a good time things should progress smoothly.

[nudemacusers]

I can't relate since I lost it before realizing people make a big deal out of it. Blissful, 3rd world country ignorance.

were you a dancing boy?

[Shaka Khan]

I can't relate since I lost it before realizing people make a big deal out of it. Blissful, 3rd world country ignorance.

were you a dancing boy?

I was, and still am, a DTF slut.

[nudemacusers]

you're going to the 2016 boremeet right?

[nudemacusers]

wouldn't surprise me, i'd imagine its like having sex while you kids nap on the other side of the house, but on a larger cultural scale.

[fistfulofmetal]

tbh i'd be more nervous to buy... uh you know, than anything. maybe i can just get them online.

[nudemacusers]

buy condoms? just buy em with your groceries. I get them while my son is in the cart, no shame to my game. go trojan ultrathin or for her pleasure. ladies like the rib.

[Himu]

congratulations, fistful. sounds like she likes you. I would also suggest going to a store to get try on cologne. tell them you have a fussy nose and see how they respond. love you bb, and gj.

[Olivia Wilde Homo]

If she is coming over to your place, it seems like that would be hard to screw up.

Also yes, you can order condoms online.  You might want to try a couple on so you get an idea of what to do as practice.  Even if you don't, I wouldn't sweat it too much since again, she is coming over to your place and also on the first date, she gave you a opening to fuck her.

[nudemacusers]

consider a chaturbate livestream so viewers can give you tips and guidance

[Raban]

you're going to the 2016 boremeet right?

Shaka's gonna be like the official 2016 Bore meet-up peace pipe. Everyone gets a blow

[nudemacusers]

you're going to the 2016 boremeet right?

Shaka's gonna be like the official 2016 Bore meet-up peace pipe. Everyone gets a blow

more like bong 

[Shaka Khan]

consider a chaturbate livestream so viewers can give you tips and guidance

Me and you breh, we're on the same wavelength

[brawndolicious]

Don't tell, just do it. There's no point in telling someone you're a virgin, all it will do is bring negative connotations that you don't want.

I would mention it when you're in bed and things are getting above making out. Like just say "There's something you should probably know..." and just explain that you actually still are one. It's up to her if she's okay with it.

That's if your goal is to see her again which of course I assume is the case. I  can't imagine carrying on a relationship with that secret.

[nudemacusers]

I don't know, from my perspective I'd think it would put a lot of unnecessary pressure on the whole affair to talk about it right up front. I can only give my experience but when my first m'lady let me pierce her maidenhead she only asked about it a couple of days later, in a how many you've been with way, and didn't seem to be taken aback by it much. IIRC she laughed a bit and then we boned. ymmv.

edit: I will say that for some reason, after it spread around school a bit (college), some chicks became a little interested in me for that sole reason alone. I guess everyone thought I would have a bunch of notches lol.

consider a chaturbate livestream so viewers can give you tips and guidance

Me and you breh, we're on the same wavelength

[Himu]

I wouldn't mention it before doing it. but a few days later, if she asks, I'd suggest answering honestly. If you guys become a thing, telling her during pillow talk or something a few months after the fact would be sort of cute. That way, it was a long while ago, and you can treat it as a sort of joke to make her feel better and not create anxiety, while also being honest that she took your virginity.

[fistfulofmetal]

i'm pretty fucking nervous.

[Kara]

I read that as "Dota 2" and I was like "Too soon" 

OMG SAME  :'(

[chronovore]

Having sex in Saudi isn't as hard as people make it out to be. Sluts are everywhere in the world.

And god bless them!!

I wouldn't be so worried about how difficult it is, I'd be worried about what happened if I got caught.

[nudemacusers]

you seem to know a lot about clandestine sexual encounters in a male dominated society

[Himu]

i'm pretty fucking nervous.

Try not to sweat it. You played it cool the first date. Don't be afraid to let her guide you along for things you're not sure about and go with the flow. Have you told her about your lack of dating experience?

[Space Jam is Canon]

fistful, i was almost in your exact position a few years ago -- 20 years old, lost 100lbs, turned my life around -- but was probably a lot more hung up on being a virgin than you are now. you should read up on giving head -- it's a great way to take the pressure off your performance, as most guys, if they even initiate, are fucking terrible at it. personally, i read Kerner's She Comes First the day before and found everything pretty intuitive when i went up to bat, but even just looking up a couple fundamentals, like come hither and rhythmic broad, flat tongue will make you stand out

just try to remember that the OKCupid match algorithm can work a strange magic sometimes, brehs*. after a long drought, i met both my fiancé and best friend in the span of a week. keep the faith, and you, too, might just find your own 19-year-old PAWG at the end of the rainbow

spoiler (click to show/hide)

*i lived in LA at the time and am 6'4" so ymmv

still, inspo:

[close]

[chronovore]

Space Jam Is Canon is an inspiration to us all.

Golly, even just for that username! :swoon

[Phoenix Dark]

[nudemacusers]

you seem to know a lot about clandestine sexual encounters in a male dominated society

Implying homosexuality is only really funny when youre doing it to PD

[fistfulofmetal]

Have you told her about your lack of dating experience?

not yet, no. i have told her I don't drink though. but the opportunity hasn't come up.

[nudemacusers]

why would you talk about amount of dating experience?

[Phoenix Dark]

eating pussy definitely can be a game changer for you...but eating out OkCupid chicks on the second date? Nah...

[Phoenix Dark]

Shake and Cheebs ruined my chances with a couple decent chicks by trolling them. 

I randomly check it now but don't contact anyone since I'm semi-dating anyway. But glancing at my visitors...yup, still lots of fat chicks with a few hot older women thrown in.

[MrAngryFace]

Space Jam Is Canon is an inspiration to us all.

Golly, even just for that username! :swoon

I gave my girlfriend the Space Jam soundtrack and the novelization of the movie and she was pumped.

[demi]

Buying condoms isnt anything to be nervous about. Just dont buy, you know, a giant fucking box of them. Also use the self-checkout, duh.

[nudemacusers]

eating pussy definitely can be a game changer for you...but eating out OkCupid chicks on the second date? Nah...

lol i went to vegas with my brother and a friend of his and his friend hooked up with a chick at mgm and ate her ass out that very same night. she apparently was very appreciative but breh.

[demi]

I wish I could find that thread on GAF about the one guy who lost his virginity to some fat chick. It might give you some good pointers.

[Phoenix Dark]

eating pussy definitely can be a game changer for you...but eating out OkCupid chicks on the second date? Nah...

lol i went to vegas with my brother and a friend of his and his friend hooked up with a chick at mgm and ate her ass out that very same night. she apparently was very appreciative but breh.

and he told you this?

Vegas is probably the worst state to put your mouth below a woman's navel.

[nudemacusers]

eating pussy definitely can be a game changer for you...but eating out OkCupid chicks on the second date? Nah...

lol i went to vegas with my brother and a friend of his and his friend hooked up with a chick at mgm and ate her ass out that very same night. she apparently was very appreciative but breh.

and he told you this?

Vegas is probably the worst state to put your mouth below a woman's navel.

oh he was quite proud of his accomplishments. we were just like... no.

another friend of mine licked a stripper's bootyhole for $10.  it was pretty clean apparently.

just fyi for bore these are the kinds of things that i encourage to happen around me.

[Phoenix Dark]

the best is when you surprise them with it and they've never had it done before, that alone can get a nut.

It's like hitting a triple double in the first inning. If you lose after that you're a loser of the highest quality.

[demi]

Fistful, I wouldnt exactly stress eating your date's potentially disgusting muff. I know plenty of people who havent even considered the thought and have been together for X years.

I find it just as weird that they havent eaten their wife's gash, but, whatever works for them I suppose. Get in there, and if it comes to it, have her do all the work. Its clear she just wants some dick. Let her take it.

[CatsCatsCats]

the best is when you surprise them with it and they've never had it done before, that alone can get a nut.

It's like hitting a triple double in the first inning. If you lose after that you're a loser of the highest quality.

You expect us to believe the same guy who drinks Mike's surprises girls by licking their brown star? I don't think so.

[Phoenix Dark]

But if she's just there for dick then it could be a problem. I say do some foreplay first and try to get a gauge of her vagine cleanliness. And if it passes the smell test go to town, young man.

Do you still have a beard? You could rub it in there first.

[Phoenix Dark]

the best is when you surprise them with it and they've never had it done before, that alone can get a nut.

It's like hitting a triple double in the first inning. If you lose after that you're a loser of the highest quality.

You expect us to believe the same guy who drinks Mike's surprises girls by licking their brown star? I don't think so.

noooo breh, I'm talking about vagina. I wouldn't even tongue Beyonce's booty hole, mainly because Hov has been in there no doubt
 

ok, I'd eat Monica Bellucci's ass though.

[demi]

Or, you know, just enjoy a nice meal of spaghetti and movie. End it with a handshake.

[nudemacusers]

the best is when you surprise them with it and they've never had it done before, that alone can get a nut.

It's like hitting a triple double in the first inning. If you lose after that you're a loser of the highest quality.

true, i was the first one to do it to my wife. note the wife part.

[Phoenix Dark]

the best is when you surprise them with it and they've never had it done before, that alone can get a nut.

It's like hitting a triple double in the first inning. If you lose after that you're a loser of the highest quality.

true, i was the first one to do it to my wife. note the wife part.

vagina or brown round?

[brawndolicious]

My advice is only based on my experience but I can have a pretty big guilt complex about things. Her response was "Well we can fix that". If other people say they mentioned it  a little while later or when asked and didn't have a problem then I guess that should be fine too.

And hasn't everybody licked a butt on accident during 69?

[nudemacusers]

the former of course, babies come from there

[fistfulofmetal]

mom caught wind of this. flood gate of questions commence.

[Phoenix Dark]

 

How did she find out? Oh man...gonna need details my brony

[nudemacusers]

bro, rule one is to keep the moms away. 

[Himu]

eating pussy definitely can be a game changer for you...but eating out OkCupid chicks on the second date? Nah...

Agreed.

[Phoenix Dark]

eating pussy definitely can be a game changer for you...but eating out OkCupid chicks on the second date? Nah...

Agreed.

Himuro we've been e-friends for a decade. What would that get me on a first date?

[brawndolicious]

eating pussy definitely can be a game changer for you...but eating out OkCupid chicks on the second date? Nah...

Agreed.

Himuro we've been e-friends for a decade. What would that get me on a first date?
(Image removed from quote.)

Nothing more than a top less dry hump I hope. SHe doesn't know where you've been.

[Himu]

I'm surprised no one is telling Fist he doesn't have to rush if he doesn't want to. How do you feel about having sex on the second date, fist? Is that why you're nervous?

eating pussy definitely can be a game changer for you...but eating out OkCupid chicks on the second date? Nah...

Agreed.

Himuro we've been e-friends for a decade. What would that get me on a first date?
(Image removed from quote.)

The furthest I will let a guy get on a first date at this point is a kiss.

[fistfulofmetal]

How did she find out? Oh man...gonna need details my brony

Told my dad and brother on Monday, dad told mom.

[Phoenix Dark]

How did she find out? Oh man...gonna need details my brony

Told my dad and brother on Monday, dad told mom.

What did she say?

didn't know you had a dad breh (no shots).

[fistfulofmetal]

of course I have a dad. that's how I was born

she just asked a ton of questions. what's she look like? what's her name? are you going out again? what does she do? go to school? does she live in her own? etc. then she ended by telling me to "be careful".

[Phoenix Dark]

of course I have a dad. that's how I was born

she just asked a ton of questions. what's she look like? what's her name? are you going out again? what does she do? go to school? does she live in her own? etc. then she ended by telling me to "be careful".

You're mom is a GAFer?

[Shaka Khan]

Why even tell your dad and brother now?

Always keep these things to yourself until you get a steady thing going on, otherwise you're risking everyone major disappointment.

[Phoenix Dark]

yea you don't want to deal that shit. Imagine the next time you go to visit your mom, she has some friends over, and she blurts out "so how are things going with that girl." And you'll be like "uhhh we dated a couple times and are now friends..." and your mom will be like and her friends will be like 

[fistfulofmetal]

On a long enough timeline I will tell everyone everything.