Pallando will return in "Never Say Never Again"

[Raban]

gotta make the timeline longer than one date, breh

[Atramental]

I hope my parents never find out about my late night sexpeditions. 

I'm pretty sure they still think I'm a virgin. 

[fistfulofmetal]

gotta make the timeline longer than one date, breh

My brother and my dad were very important parts of the recent depression issues I had. Telling them about the changes I've made to my life it as much helpful to me but meant to make them proud of me.

[Phoenix Dark]

My mom dislikes my brother's gf. They have a cordial relationship publicly, but my mom is constantly complaining behind the scenes. My brother's gf lives with him and that is really what the problem is. Apparently my mom told her something like "why would you give out a free glass of milk before selling the cow?" which insulted the gf 

My mom is a traditionalist, the idea of them living together rustles her jimmies to the maximum level. She's in contact with the gf's mom, who is also not thrilled about the relationship. I'm pretty sure they'll break up before the end of the year. She's boring as fuck.

[Shaka Khan]

gotta make the timeline longer than one date, breh

My brother and my dad were very important parts of the recent depression issues I had. Telling them about the changes I've made to my life it as much helpful to me but meant to make them proud of me.

Well, when you put it like that. :'(

[nudemacusers]

I hope my parents never find out about my late night sexpeditions. 

I'm pretty sure they still think I'm a virgin. 

i remember my mom, when I moved in with my then fiancee soon to be wife, asking if I had been "intimate". no shit mom, i've been busting them guts since day 3.

fwiw i just said "yes"

[Rufus]

My mom dislikes my brother's gf. They have a cordial relationship publicly, but my mom is constantly complaining behind the scenes. My brother's gf lives with him and that is really what the problem is. Apparently my mom told her something like "why would you give out a free glass of milk before selling the cow?" which insulted the gf 

So she's slut-shaming her?

[Phoenix Dark]

My mom dislikes my brother's gf. They have a cordial relationship publicly, but my mom is constantly complaining behind the scenes. My brother's gf lives with him and that is really what the problem is. Apparently my mom told her something like "why would you give out a free glass of milk before selling the cow?" which insulted the gf 

So she's slut-shaming her?

Pretty much. And this girl is super nice, loves to cook, very soft spoken etc. She's the type of girl you'd think my mom would love, but nope.

she's white 

[brawndolicious]

My mom dislikes my brother's gf. They have a cordial relationship publicly, but my mom is constantly complaining behind the scenes. My brother's gf lives with him and that is really what the problem is. Apparently my mom told her something like "why would you give out a free glass of milk before selling the cow?" which insulted the gf 

My mom is a traditionalist, the idea of them living together rustles her jimmies to the maximum level. She's in contact with the gf's mom, who is also not thrilled about the relationship. I'm pretty sure they'll break up before the end of the year. She's boring as fuck.

Sounds sort of like my parents reaction to my now sister-in-law. She is Pakistani rather than Iranian and they weren't shy about telling him how that was a problem. But they finally got married like a year ago and they haven't said anything on front of him or behind his back AFAIK.

Awkward thing is they think I might carry on the Iranian pureness but I've never dated a middle-eastern much less Muslim chick.

[brawndolicious]

I'm sort of going on maybe a date tomorrow with a girl who offered to take me to lunch for a favor I did and I'm deathly afraid. We've been friends for like 6 months  and sort of tip toeing around what feels like mutual attraction and I don't know what to say or do. For reference, I haven't dated anyone in a year and I've never dated someone who was already a friend. Do girls people give you you a chance after you've ignored obvious hints?

[CatsCatsCats]

If you want it to progress beyond friendship, you'll need to make that apparent through your actions

[Phoenix Dark]

Actions>>>"soooo I want to tell you something if that's ok..."

Just see how she reacts to stuff. You'll be able to tell if she's interested beyond a general attraction. If so make a move, if not you keep the friendship without that awkward friendzone punch.

[fistfulofmetal]

So I'm not gonna cook (cuz passing up a chance to go to Dinosaur BBQ would be silly) but I AM going to try this cool desert idea I learned recently where you use a balloon to create chocolate bowls and serve ice cream and stuff inside. It's pretty neat and I'm gonna do it for the movie.

[Phoenix Dark]

Did she offer to drive you in a feminist power way, or was it due to you being impaired?

[fistfulofmetal]

second date just technically ended.

[Rufus]

Technically? Is this a mid-mission progress report?

[fistfulofmetal]

We watched a lot of movies last night. Got really close to each other, lots of holding each other and arm around and stuff like that. She stayed over the night but we didn't sleep together. We did basically spoon all night. We cuddled watching shitty Monday morning reality shows and talked. She had to leave for a dentists appointment and something work related but she's coming over again later tonight. I gave her a hug and a brief kiss on the lips when she left (first legit kiss, go me).

She straight up told me I'm the first guy she's dated that she's actually liked. Pretty big ego boost. I did tell her my dating inexperience, it was a sudden shift in conversation towards that subject and I felt it right to bring it up. It didn't crash and burn the entire situation (at least I don't think).

Things went really well I feel.

[Rufus]

D'aw, you go, you.

[nudemacusers]

Sounds like you have something good.

[Mupepe]

Red flags everywhere. Bail out.

spoiler (click to show/hide)

jk. Thats awesome dude. Congrats

[close]

[Human Snorenado]

Good for you, fistful.

[Phoenix Dark]

discuss long term plans after one date with a girl from the internet brehs

[demi]

We watched a lot of movies last night. Got really close to each other, lots of holding each other and arm around and stuff like that. She stayed over the night but we didn't sleep together. We did basically spoon all night. We cuddled watching shitty Monday morning reality shows and talked. She had to leave for a dentists appointment and something work related but she's coming over again later tonight. I gave her a hug and a brief kiss on the lips when she left (first legit kiss, go me).

She straight up told me I'm the first guy she's dated that she's actually liked. Pretty big ego boost. I did tell her my dating inexperience, it was a sudden shift in conversation towards that subject and I felt it right to bring it up. It didn't crash and burn the entire situation (at least I don't think).

Things went really well I feel.

I'd probably start trying on condoms around now. You're pretty much on the home stretch.

Can you go into detail about when you brought up the inexperience?

[Reb]

Act like you're in Seinfeld brehs.

[hampster]

Who cares about the rest of the date, I want to hear more about these chocolate bowls fistful

[fistfulofmetal]

Can you go into detail about when you brought up the inexperience?

I don't remember the exact context of what she said but the opportunity came up and I just kinda said "This is the second date I've been on" and left it open for a bit so she could digest what I said. We've already talked about me not drinking and the why so I connected it to that. She seemed surprised tbh. I was able to make a joke when she said I was the first guy she's dated that she's actually liked by saying the same thing essentially "You're the first girl I've dated that I've actually liked".

Who cares about the rest of the date, I want to hear more about these chocolate bowls fistful

I was only able to make TWO successfully. The balloons kept sticking to the chocolate or the coating wasn't thick enough. But two were made and they were amaze. Really leaves a good impression.

[demi]

Has it been mostly you taking charge, or does it feel like she is kind of giving the motions?

It sounds like you're pretty comfortable with where this is going, at the moment. This girl can do a lot for your self-esteem, so keep it up. Even if she ends up leaving, the experience and esteem boosts can do wonders going forward.

[Shaka Khan]

Are you writing this down demi?

[demi]

Are you writing this down demi?

No, I'm content sharing dick pics with people on the internet.

[Shaka Khan]

Same here.

[Phoenix Dark]

Same here.

uncircumcised? pass

[Shaka Khan]

Shaka is most definitely packing an aesthetically pleasing, prime cut of meat. All you disgusting Snuffleupaguses can go home.

[Mupepe]

Shaka is most definitely packing an aesthetically pleasing, prime cut of meat. All you disgusting Snuffleupaguses can go home.

[brawndolicious]

First off, I'd like to point out how right I alone was in saying a girl won't care about inexperience if she actually likes you and is looking for a real thing. I might just rub this in forever.

But also fistful, don't feel like you should be in a rush to anything. It sounds like you both are keeping things open to communication which is really good. Good luck and try masturbating with some condoms.

[Mupepe]

Don't JO with condoms.  Don't use them when you fuck either.

[nudemacusers]

masturbating with condoms?

whatever points you think you won you lost twofold

[Kara]

Texted my brother:

"Do you think it would be weird if I started dating a girl with the first name ____? I just went out with one, and the date turned out really well."

Him: "Haha, not really? We could go back to calling (our sister) (other nickname we had for our sister when we were kids)"

I wonder what my sister would think. If a few more dates go well and things start to look serious, I'll have to tell her about it.

My partner has the same name as 2 of my cousins, it's just a name breh.

[brawndolicious]

masturbating with condoms?

whatever points you think you won you lost twofold

To know what a condom feels like.

[Shaka Khan]

First off, I'd like to point out how right I alone was in saying a girl won't care about inexperience if she actually likes you and is looking for a real thing. I might just rub this in forever.

[Phoenix Dark]

and like clockwork, he recommended someone masturbate while wearing a condom. brehs

[Phoenix Dark]

And the whole blowing people up thing.

[nudemacusers]

and marrying children

wait were we making a good or bad list

[Positive Touch]

And the whole blowing people up thing.

WELL ACTUALLY

[Phoenix Dark]

And the whole blowing people up thing.

WELL ACTUALLY

anti semite

[fistfulofmetal]

i'm not gonna go into too much detail anymore about this as i'd rather keep it private from this point forward.

but it's been done. it's all been done. all.

[Brehvolution]

 

[Steve Contra]

i'm not gonna go into too much detail anymore about this as i'd rather keep it private from this point forward.

but it's been done. it's all been done. all.

Oral. Anal. In her ear. With her sister.  With her mom. Donkey punch. Rusty trombone. Cleveland steamer. Manhattan transfer. Space docking. All the German shit.  All.

[Positive Touch]

i'm not gonna go into too much detail anymore about this as i'd rather keep it private from this point forward.

but it's been done. it's all been done. all.

deleting your porn folder 

[demi]

Who would have thought fistful would win the race before PD.

[Atramental]

i'm not gonna go into too much detail anymore about this as i'd rather keep it private from this point forward.

but it's been done. it's all been done. all.

Congrats.

[cool breeze]

i'm not gonna go into too much detail anymore about this as i'd rather keep it private from this point forward.

but it's been done. it's all been done. all.

Oral. Anal. In her ear. With her sister.  With her mom. Donkey punch. Rusty trombone. Cleveland steamer. Manhattan transfer. Space docking. All the German shit.  All.

you could've just said German shit.  everything else is implied.

spoiler (click to show/hide)

I just noticed how racist this sounds by forgetting to add a word

[close]

[Rufus]

[cool breeze]

I apologize for singling out Germany.

[Phoenix Dark]

Grats Fistfull. Pretty sure demon is the only virgin left in the original VirginGAF gang.

Boogie paved the way for us all, brehs

[TakingBackSunday]

how were the tits

[Phoenix Dark]

Like bags of sand?

GAF must have deleted that post because I can't find it. Although while searching I ran across this gem
http://www.neogaf.com/forum/showthread.php?p=3042341&highlight=breast#post3042341

[fistfulofmetal]

spoiler (click to show/hide)

I've been told my oral is "fantastic" not for just my first time

[close]

just sayin

[Phoenix Dark]

spoiler (click to show/hide)

I've been told my oral is "fantastic" not for just my first time

[close]

just sayin

[Phoenix Dark]

write the alphabet with your tongue, never goes wrong

[Shadow Mod]

Who said watching porn won't teach you anything?

Idiots, that's who. As far as oral goes anyway.